The way Kait looked at him last night, her bright eyes reflecting the dim golden glow of the outdoor light while fluffy snowflakes melted on her pink-tinged cheeks, he knew she felt a spark between them, too.
That in itself was a miracle, and since it was something he never in a million years thought would happen, it gave Branch a renewed hope that he would have the opportunity to talk about what happened that fateful night and clear the air a bit. With her, and with Zach. He hadn’t broached the subject, but Branch doubted anything had changed there, either. Wherever Kait was, Zach probably wasn’t far behind. Kait could love Branch back until the moon fell from the sky, but if she didn’t believe that the vehicle accident hadn’t been the result of some jealous, monstrous rage, then they had no chance to build on that remaining love.
Not for the first time, he felt nauseous thinking about the accident, knowing he had let an immature mix of annoyance and inattention become the catalyst for what occurred that night. But not jealousy. Never jealousy. He’d trusted Kait implicitly, and not even Zach Canton’s brazen affections wavered that trust. He felt even sicker knowing he and Kait had gone from the cusp of their life together, hands joined and hearts entwined, to a world where some part of her thought him capable of that kind of malicious act.
To this day, the entire sequence of events confused him, and he had all but given up trying to figure out the whys, whens, and hows of the minutes that led to Zach being behind his pickup truck, his leg fractured, and their lives forever changed.
Rubbing his hands together to create heat, he flexed his fingers to ease the numbness in them, then patted the pocket of his jeans, seeking out the familiar feel of the item tucked into the side of his leather wallet. It was a gesture he did often, sometimes not realizing he was even doing it until the precious metal was in his hand, the significance of it burning into his palm like the red-hot scorching of a cast iron brand. But Branch held onto that ring now just as tightly as he had eleven years ago when he first bought it. It wasn’t much, just a simple, thin gold band with a miniscule diamond, but he kept it with him at all times since he’d spent a big chunk of his savings in hope of giving it to Kait at graduation, cherishing it as though it was worth a hundred times its meager cost.
At the time when he’d purchased it at only eighteen years old, the ring had meant everything to him. His one chance to promise Kait Davenport that he would be hers, always and forever.
He had no way of knowing, then, that the love the ring symbolized would cost him everything.
Branch traced the tiny circle, swearing he could feel warmth emanating from it. There were days he had no idea why he kept it, but today, there was no doubt in his mind. All this time, he had kept it because some part of him knew it wasn’t over.
And he was pretty sure that part was his heart.
There was something seductive about Kait arriving at his house under the blanket of night, giving their evening together a clandestine feel. Like they were being the rebellious teens they had once believed they were, or were going against the grain by dusting the ashes off their burned relationship and clutching to the shred of friendship that remained, no matter what others thought of their choices. Kait’s greeting at the front door proved she felt the same.
‘Well, hey,’ she said. ‘We really should stop meeting like this.’
Branch stepped back, motioning her in out of the cold. ‘Why, are the neighbors going to start to talk?’
Shuffling out of her coat, she chuckled. ‘Like they aren’t already.’
Let them talk, he thought. Then, it occurred to him that his opinion wasn’t the only one that mattered. ‘Does that bother you?’
‘Oh, please.’ Kait waved her hand dismissively. ‘I steeled myself against the gossipmongers a long time ago. Most of the time, folks mean well, even if their opinions are a bit misguided. Besides, if it bothered me, I wouldn’t be here.’ She didn’t give him a chance to comment further. ‘So, where are we starting in this big ol’ house tonight?’ She rubbed her hands together in anticipation.
Branch shook his head. He was thankful she wasn’t feeling tortured by being here and having to sort through all the dust and dirt, but he had to admit, he would never understand how some people lived for this sort of thing, sifting through the remnants of days gone by and unearthing the memories and secrets of the past through the tangible memorabilia left behind. Maybe his problem was that he had a personal attachment to the stuff left behind here. It made it harder for him. But it was easier knowing Kait wanted to be here with him, somehow.
‘I was thinking we could take on the attic this weekend, maybe, if you’re around? I think it would be easier in the daylight since we’d have the light from the windows as well as the light fixtures.’
She narrowed her eyes, and Branch could tell the wheels were turning in that pretty little head of hers. ‘Keep talking.’
Her lack of commitment to anything beyond tonight was disheartening, but he tried his best to stamp down the flood of disappointment. ‘But, tonight,’ he continued, ‘we can go through some of the totes and boxes I found piled in the garage. I brought them inside when I couldn’t take the cold anymore.’
‘You’ve already tackled the garage?’ Kait looked shocked, which made him stop on his way to the fridge to grab a couple bottled waters.
He crossed his arms. ‘I can’t expect you to be here to help me with all of it.’
‘I know.’ She shrugged. ‘I just … didn’t want you to have to do it alone.’
‘I appreciate that,’ he managed to get out past the sudden thickness in his throat. More than you know. ‘But I feel better having it done. I managed to box up some of Grandpa Duke’s tools to keep, and I set aside some extra parts for the Bronco I found. But mostly there wasn’t a lot stored in there.’ He stole a glance at the pile of boxes stacked inside the interior door that led to the attached garage. ‘Except those.’
‘Then let’s see what we’ve got, shall we?’
Kait had the first flaps of the cardboard box pulled up and opened before Branch crossed the room.
‘The boxes were pretty light, so I—’
Kait let out a high-pitched squeal, clapping her hands emphatically. ‘They’re Christmas decorations!’ Like an excited child, she leaped over to another box and opened it, too. ‘They’re all Christmas decorations, Branch!’
He had forgotten how excited she got about the holiday season, the way, even as a teenager, she had jumped at every chance to over-decorate and over-bake and over-do every aspect of Christmas if she got the opportunity. There was no such thing as too much tinsel or sparkle when it came to Kait and her idea of what a magical Christmas should be.
‘Well, that explains how little they weighed when I brought them in,’ he said, peering into one of the opened boxes. A large wreath adorning pinecones and frosted holly berries sat on top, waiting to be displayed on the front door. Beneath it, it looked like Santa’s workshop had exploded inside. ‘Go ahead and take anything you like, Kait. You and Janna can probably—’
‘Take them?’ Her head snapped up and she stared at him with wide, disbelieving eyes. ‘What are you talking about? We’re going to put them up!’ she exclaimed, waving a hand around.
‘There’s no need to decorate here.’
‘The heck there isn’t!’ She pulled a huge string of sparkly red tinsel from the box in front of her, carefully coiled and tied with a wire twist. ‘I remember Grandma Addie used to string this across the fireplace mantel in little loops. And there should be miniature glass ornaments somewhere in here that hang from each one. Oh, and the blinking mini lights, red and green, they should be in here somewhere, too!’
‘Kait.’ Branch’s hand came down on her wrist, stopping her manic quest for the perfect Christmas color scheme. It was enough to halt her incessant digging, and she stared up at him, this time wearing an expression of puzzlement. ‘There’s no use in decorating here.’
Her gaze never deviated from his, but someth
ing tightened in her jaw. It was slight, but Branch saw it, and somehow the clenching was enough to transform her expression from confusion to outright defiance. ‘Why?’ she asked. ‘Because you’re not staying?’
‘For starters.’ He nodded uneasily. ‘We’re supposed to be purging this stuff, not recreating one of Grandma Addie’s epic holiday adventures.’
‘Ah ha!’ Kait’s hand flew out of the cardboard box so fast he thought she was intent on slapping him. Instead, she pointed an indignant finger in his direction. ‘So, you admit Grandma Addie had epic holiday adventures!’
‘Easy, Sherlock,’ he laughed. She looked adorable when she was proving a point. A point he wasn’t quite sure why she was trying to make. ‘The entire town of Port Landon knows Christmas was her time to shine. It was no secret.’
‘You’re right,’ she agreed. ‘And last year was the first time that the town, myself included, had to live through the holidays without her home-style brand of Christmas cheer. Do you know what it was like to drive past this beautiful old house and see it in darkness, instead of lit up like some Victorian gingerbread house the way it always was?’
Branch wanted to argue that, yes, he did know. He had lived through the grief and sadness of last Christmas, too. But the truth was he barely remembered any of the details from that time, too overcome with his own pain and loss to think about or realize anything beyond what needed to be done. Funeral arrangements, legal documents, and a black cloud of sorrow. That’s what he could recall from last December.
And then he had quietly but hastily left Port Landon, too consumed by his own grieving to think about the fact that others were grieving, too, just in a different way. And maybe this was how Kait dealt with her grief over the loss of the woman who had treated her like family, regardless of whether Branch was there in town or not.
‘I’m sorry.’ He meant it. ‘She really did do Christmas up right, didn’t she?’ The corner of his mouth lifted as he reached into the box and retrieved one of the pudgy quilted snowmen Grandma Addie had hand sewn herself. Branch knew there would be a set of three of them in that box, each one a few inches taller than the next, and they had been displayed on the entryway table beside the front door every Christmas as long as he could remember. Kait’s matching grin said she remembered, too.
‘She did. So, why don’t we do it up right, one last time? In her honor. You know she would love that.’ Kait draped the coil of tinsel around her neck and tossed the end of it over her shoulder like a movie star. Her amusement faltered a moment later. ‘Unless you really don’t want to. I mean, I understand if it’s too—’
‘Let’s do it.’ The words were out of his mouth before Branch could think them through, surprising himself just as much as Kait. But when he saw her smile once more, wide and bright and brimming with delight, he knew why he had agreed.
It had little to do with his desire to deck this house out in holiday cheer the way Grandma Addie had always done it. The truth was it was going to gut him having to rummage through those boxes and put up the festive decorations that his grandmother had so carefully packed away. Her hands had been the last ones to touch them, and she’d had so much love and light in her heart as she had put them up and taken them down. Redecorating from memory – memories he had tried so hard to file away to save himself from the grief of reliving them – was going to take a brutal toll on his heart.
But so would turning down Kait’s idea. The glimmer of excitement as she beamed at him now already made his decision worth every ounce of heartache he would endure. He wasn’t going to just do this in Grandma Addie’s honor, although she would be front and center in his thoughts while he put his plan into motion.
He was going to do it in Kait’s honor, too. For the Kait he had let down more than ten years ago. For the Kait he had lost then and somehow managed to find again now, albeit on shaky ground. For the Kait he had loved then and loved just as much as she stood before him today. Branch Sterling had adored two women in his life, so he would do this. For both of them, Grandma Addie and Kait.
‘You’re serious?’ Kait was uncharacteristically still, like she was afraid to move too quickly and spook him.
‘I’m serious,’ he replied. ‘But I’ve got two conditions.’
Absently, Kait’s fingers fumbled with the length of tinsel, making it glitter like a handful of shiny rubies. She said nothing, waiting with arched eyebrows.
‘The first,’ Branch began, ‘is that if we’re going to do this, we’re going to go all out.’
‘Meaning?’
He couldn’t believe he was suggesting this, and his stomach twisted as the words fell from his lips. ‘Not only do we decorate the way Grandma Addie would want us to, but we also do all the baking and cooking that goes along with it. She never half-did anything, so we can’t, either.’
Kait’s eyes bulged. ‘Branch, your grandmother held a meal for the entire town on Christmas Eve. She prepped and baked for weeks!’
She had every right to question him about it. Kait wasn’t exaggerating. Every year on Christmas Eve, Grandma Addie opened the door to anyone and everyone in Port Landon. Food was set out buffet style, and there was more home cooking and homemade desserts than anyone could dream of. It was a meal, but the event was so much more than that. The folks who showed up every year in abundance were those without families of their own to spend the holidays with, folks who didn’t have the means to experience an extravagant meal, otherwise. Just thinking about it, Branch could smell the spices in the cider and the smoke of the fire that flickered and danced in the stone fireplace.
‘Then I guess we’d better get started sooner rather than later.’ His gaze stayed fixed on her, hoping the conviction he conveyed in his voice was stronger than the doubts that plagued his mind. He was crazy to think he could ever spend a day in Grandma Addie’s shoes, but he had to try. For Kait.
‘You really are serious.’ Kait pulled the tinsel from her neck and set it over the edge of the box. She seemed deep in thought, but only for a second. Not long enough to be blatant hesitation, but more like a moment to contemplate what it would mean to her as well if he pulled this off. If they pulled this off. When she glanced up, Kait’s eyes were firm. ‘Screw it, count me in.’
The corner of Branch’s mouth curled. ‘That was my second condition.’
‘That I’m in?’
He nodded. ‘Every step of the way.’ There was only one thing Branch wanted for Christmas, and it couldn’t be bought in a store. He understood better than anyone that the holidays weren’t about material things. He also understood what it meant to only have those material things left.
But he still had Kait. She was standing in front of him, somewhere he never believed she would be, and she was making plans that involved him. They were plans for Christmas, a day that would come and go, but it was a start. Time with Kait was the only thing Branch had on his Christmas list, and he would repeat it a hundred times on paper if it meant he got it.
He held out his hand. ‘You, me, and Grandma Addie’s kind of Christmas. Have we got a deal, Davenport?’
Her throat moved visibly, but as she reached out and shook his hand firmly, there was no mistaking the sparkle in her eyes. ‘Deal.’
Chapter 9
Kait
She was crazy for agreeing to this. Certifiably. They both were. And there was no one in Kait’s life who seemed to have a problem with telling her so.
Still awake when Kait crept in through the door of their little house after her evening at Branch’s, Janna had a throw blanket pulled tightly around her shoulders when she trudged into the kitchen, eyeing her sister warily. Kait heard Janna’s footsteps, but she turned away to slide the lock into place, giving herself a moment to compose herself before having to face her older sister. Kait knew what was coming.
‘Sneaking in at all hours of the night,’ Janna’s voice whispered. ‘Time really has turned back for you, hasn’t it?’
Kait sighed. This was exactly why she had ho
ped her sister was asleep. At least then she could have saved the lecture until morning. But no, she had probably been staked out on the couch, stewing about what she would say the moment Kait showed up. ‘It’s hardly called sneaking in when I’m twenty-nine and pay half the rent.’ She regretted the words instantly. ‘Look, Janna, can we just—’
‘You remember what Branch did to you, right?’ Even in the dimly lit room, illuminated only by the light above the sink, Kait saw the weariness in her sister’s features. Somehow, she knew it wasn’t all from trying to get the boys to sleep. ‘You remember that he cheated on you, and that he hit your best friend with his truck?’
Kait’s teeth clenched. She wouldn’t necessarily call Zach her best friend now. More like her only friend from her high school days, but she needed to pick her battles and not split hairs. ‘I haven’t forgotten.’
‘Then, what in the blazes are you doing?’ Janna asked emphatically. ‘The guy’s no good, and yet here you are, spending all your spare time with him when—’
‘When what, Janna?’ Kait tossed her coat over the coat rack inside the doorway and threw her hands up. ‘I’m still doing everything I need to do. I’m still going to work on time, and I’m still here with the kids when you need me to be. All I’m doing is helping out an old friend. If the tables were turned, I certainly wouldn’t want to be going through the stuff in that big old house by myself.’
‘And what about when he leaves?’ Janna stood in the doorway, blocking the living room. Kait had nowhere to go. ‘Then what?’
‘Then I’ll just be me again, won’t I?’ She shrugged her shoulders, giving up the edge in her voice for defeat. ‘Then I’ll go back to being the woman who just works and babysits and does what’s right.’
Janna’s head reeled back as though her sister had slapped her. ‘You make it sound like that’s so bad.’
Shaking her head, Kait turned away and headed for the coffee pot, setting it up for the morning so she wouldn’t have to do anything but press the button to start brewing. And so she wouldn’t have to be subjected to another second of Janna’s intense glare. Things were coming out wrong and she didn’t want to insult her sister more than she already had. ‘Never mind. I don’t want to talk about this. All I’m saying is I’ve always done what’s right, and where’s it gotten me? If spending these past few days with Branch has been wrong, then so be it. Because I won’t lie, it’s been kind of nice. And I won’t apologize for that.’
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