‘I would,’ Branch assured her. ‘I’ll never forgive myself for what happened to Zach. I never liked the guy much, but he was your friend. I would never tell you who you can and can’t be friends with, not then and not now. And I certainly would never purposely use my truck to …’ He couldn’t even say it out loud. ‘It was an accident, I swear it. That’s not the kind of man I am, you’ve got to know that.’
‘I wouldn’t be standing here if I thought you were.’ Kait’s fingers absently raked through her hair, smoothing out her ponytail. It was her tell. Whenever she was nervous, she played with her hair in some fashion. ‘And what about Holly?’
For a split second, Branch had no clue who she was talking about. That’s how much of a whiplashing change of direction the name was from the subject of the accident. It shouldn’t have been, seeing as it was no secret the girl had been in the truck with him that night, but Branch couldn’t understand what, after all these years, she had to do with things. ‘Holly Raynard?’ He hadn’t said the name in years, and even now when he thought of her, his mind conjured up an unpleasant image, an intoxicated and practically passed out Holly, her head flopping back onto the headrest of his truck as he folded her into the passenger seat to take her home. ‘Kait, I haven’t thought about her in a long time, but you’re going to have to explain to me what—’
‘You know what, don’t.’ Kait’s hands came up in front of her, halting him from gaining any further access to her, distance wise and verbally. ‘I’ve changed my mind. After what just happened, I think we need to leave the reminiscing alone for today.’
There it was, the inevitable shutdown of Kait Davenport. She was leaving him with more questions than answers, but if there was one thing Branch knew about her, she wouldn’t be coerced into talking about something if she didn’t want to. The conversation was over.
For now.
Besides, the most important factor in her parting statement was the acknowledgment that something had just happened. He’d kissed her, soft and sweet. And Kait had kissed him back. To have that occur between them, on top of finally scraping the surface of the unfortunate events that led to their relationship’s catastrophic demise, it was a miracle in itself.
They had come together to pay tribute to Grandma Addie, the woman who had instilled the spirit of Christmas in Branch for so many years, who had treated Kait like family right along with anyone else who wanted or needed it. With a little holiday magic and a whole lot of luck, Branch and Kait had a real chance at coming out on the other side of this festive event stronger than ever. Healed.
And together.
Chapter 13
Kait
‘The usual, dear.’
Arnold and Jemima Jackson had taken up residence in their regular booth. Nothing had changed. The elderly couple were doing the same thing they did every day, asking for the same order they always requested.
And yet, Kait couldn’t remember the particulars of that order. ‘Right,’ she said, playing it off as a joke. ‘Two coffees and …’ She trailed off, hoping to heavens Jemima would chime in and remind her what kind of pie to cut for them. It was one slice, shared between them, she recalled that much, but as for the kind of pie they wanted, it was—
‘Lemon meringue,’ Arnold piped up, peering at the waitress with a curious gaze. ‘With two forks. Are you suffering from Old Timer’s, too?’
Jemima clucked her tongue at her husband, swatting his hand. ‘For heaven’s sake, Arnold, leave the poor woman be.’ She turned to Kait. ‘That’s his term for Alzheimer’s, and frankly it’s a joke in poor taste. I apologize for my tactless husband. Goodness, we can’t expect you to remember everything.’
Kait forced a broad smile on her face, waving off her apology. ‘No harm done, Jemima. I’ll get your coffees and lemon meringue pie.’ She cast a jovial glance at Arnold. ‘With two forks.’
It was official; she wasn’t the only one noticing her inability to concentrate. Leave it to Arnold to be right about one thing, though. Kait was definitely suffering from a condition, but it wasn’t Old Timer’s, as he had so eloquently put it.
Two days ago, Branch had kissed her and turned her world upside down. It was like that simple kiss had flicked a switch somewhere inside her, making it so that she couldn’t think of anything but that moment. So sweet, so comforting.
That kiss had been a decade in the making, not a decade too late as she’d originally thought. It wasn’t too late for them. It couldn’t be. Kait didn’t know how she could feel so much for him if there was no chance left for them to be, well, them. Branch and Kait. The way she always thought it would be.
As soon as that thought sparked in her brain, however, it was quickly thwarted by the fact that Branch wasn’t staying in Port Landon.
He’s got a job in the North and less than twenty days left in town, she silently chastised herself. You’re not part of his escape plan.
No, she wasn’t. Kait was the reason for his escape plan. At least, her eighteen-year-old self was. Now, though she couldn’t bring herself to admit it out loud, Kait wanted nothing more than to be the reason he decided to stay.
It wasn’t the first time the thought had entered her mind. She had no right to ask such a thing of Branch, but it didn’t mean she didn’t want to, anyway.
Wanting to do something and actually doing it were vastly different things, however. Take her fleeting mention of Holly Raynard, for example. Kait wanted so badly to demand answers from Branch, to scream at him to tell her why he chose one night with a girl from high school over the plans and dreams she and he had promised each other. They had been so close to graduation, only another week or so and they would have been free to—
No. That was why she had stopped Branch from finishing his sentence, too scared of his answer to let him utter it aloud. Once it was out, Kait couldn’t undo it. She couldn’t put the words back in his mouth and make him swallow them, pretending they had never fallen from his lips. The truth was a dangerous thing, and though she desperately wanted it and needed it, she knew that once she had it, she could never give it back.
So, she had stopped him before he could say anything that might ruin the high she was unable to shake since their kiss. Kait didn’t remember the last time things had felt so completely and utterly right in her world, so she had been selfish, committed to holding on to that feeling just a little bit longer.
Now, she was consumed by what she did know, and just as overwhelmed by what she didn’t. Everything revolved around Branch somehow, leaving Kait enthralled and wondering how in the world she had managed as long as she had without him to make her feel the way she was feeling now.
Cutting the pie and placing the two cups of coffee onto a plastic tray, Kait delivered it to the Jacksons’ table, apologizing again for her ‘Old Timer’s’, offering Arnold a playful grin in hopes that it would ease Jemima’s lecture later on. She made it back behind the counter just as she happened to glance toward the windows nearest the entrance.
Her eyes widened. ‘Eve, quick! Do me a favor and tell him I’m not in today!’ she hissed before ducking behind the wall that separated the waitstaff counter from the kitchen. Seconds later, the bell above the door chimed loudly, announcing Zach’s arrival.
She shouldn’t be hiding from him, but as Kait pressed her back against the wall and listened to Eve weave a tale about her switching a shift, she didn’t feel there was any other way to handle Zach and his less than subtle hatred of Branch. She didn’t begrudge him his reasons for not wanting Branch in his life, but there was no way he would ever understand her reasons for wanting Branch back in hers. And since an elderly man like Arnold Jackson could see there was a mind-numbing haze wrapped around Kait’s brain, obscuring her focus and fogging up her mental clarity, she knew Zach would easily pick up on her distracted demeanor as well.
It might not be right to hide from him, but it was easier. At the moment, not much else was plain and simply easy for Kait, so she would take it where she could get it.
‘Oh my gosh,’ Kait gushed, letting the rich aroma and bold taste of dark roast coffee overwhelm her senses. ‘I know I serve up coffee all day at the diner, but I’m telling you, there’s no substitute for the kind of caffeine fix found in these four walls.’
The four walls she was referring to happened to house the trendy coffeehouse owned by her good friend Allison. Its comfortable combination of modern, industrial, and a dash of rustic décor, with its brick walls and wooden bar and intricate bistro-style tables, made sure there was something here that would appeal to everyone. If having the best coffee in town didn’t get customers in the door, the relaxed ambiance would.
‘Glad to hear it.’ Allison slid into the booth across from her, donning her signature T-shirt with the coffeehouse’s logo on the front despite the fact that it was technically her day off. Her long auburn hair was untied, though, falling down around her shoulders, so that was a clear indication she wasn’t in work mode today. ‘Although, I’ve got to say, the way you’re hugging that mug and fluttering your eyelashes every time you take a sip, I’m starting to wonder if Paige and I shouldn’t leave you two alone for a bit.’
Allison’s cousin, Paige Henley, snickered, pressing a hand to her mouth as she set her own mug down. ‘Geez, can you at least save the jokes for when I don’t have a mouthful of sweet, decadent vanilla latte in my mouth?’
‘Good grief, you’re just as bad as she is.’ Allison pointed at Kait, shaking her head when the two women high-fived from across the table. ‘You two act like you’ve never had decent coffee before.’
Kait grinned. ‘Well, you know, it’s just so hard to come in here, because in order to get good coffee, we’ve all got to put up with, well, you.’
‘You put up with me for my coffee,’ Allison laughed. ‘Duly noted. But you’d better be careful. I’m real good at revenge.’ She tilted her head toward the booth beside them, where both of Janna’s twin boys were sprawled across the vinyl seats, snoring softly. ‘I’m liable to spike their sippy cups with espresso.’
There was rarely a shortage of banter when the three women got together. Allison, never one to hold back what she was thinking and always harboring more energy than the other two of them combined, helped to complement the more relaxed personalities of Kait and Paige. Though Allison and her cousin were both a few years older than Kait, the friendship she had discovered within their trio was one she couldn’t express her profound appreciation of in words.
She had only met Paige a little more than a year ago, when she moved from New York to take over Port Landon’s local bakery, but she and Allison had been friends for more than six years, since a particularly trying day when Kait had walked into the coffeehouse and requested the biggest, boldest, strongest cup of coffee she could get. Whether the tall woman with long auburn locks on the other side of the counter struck up a conversation with her out of amusement or just plain pity, Kait didn’t know. But the friendship that bloomed was one for the ages, she was certain of that. Kait didn’t think she knew anyone else who would let her bring two rambunctious toddlers into their place of business and help to get them down for a nap, allowing for time to have a real conversation with adults who would hear her out and just let her get some things off her chest.
‘You wouldn’t.’
Allison gave the twins a sidelong glance, a wry grin on her face. ‘You’re right. Don’t hate me for saying this, but how in the world can they look so angelic as they sleep, when minutes ago they were tearing apart the napkin dispensers and wreaking general havoc on anything in their cute little hurricane path?’
‘I know, right!’ It felt good to hear someone else with the same conflicted thoughts. She adored Janna’s boys, but there were some days she wondered how in the world she wasn’t falling asleep while still standing. They were beautiful kids, but they were exhausting, too. ‘I’d never say that to Janna, but I hear you,’ Kait agreed. ‘They’re the best nephews in the world, but, boy, do I hear you.’
Kait didn’t miss the brief glance that passed between her two friends as they sat across from her. If history was any indication, she was fully aware of what it was about, a conversation that had happened many times in the two years since the boys had been born.
‘Look,’ she said, hoping to steer the topic in another direction, ‘I want to thank you two for dropping everything to come and hang out for a bit. I know you’re busy.’
‘We’re busy?’ Allison didn’t miss a beat. ‘You just got off an eight-hour shift two hours ago, and you showed up here with Double Trouble. You’re busy, too, Kait. It’s my day off. Paige, you got anywhere better to be?’
The slender brunette offered Kait a reassuring smile. ‘I’d just pulled a cake out of the oven when you called. I’ve got to give it time to cool before I can do anything with it, and I’ve got a new college student hired to handle the front counter. She knows where to find me, so I’m all yours.’
‘There you go, then.’ Allison waved a hand, urging Kait to start talking. ‘You called the meeting of the wise, girlfriend, so something’s up. You’ve only got until the moment one of those precious little rugrats stirs, so what’s going on?’
Kait hadn’t been sure if calling an emergency coffee date with her friends was the right move to make, not knowing if she would feel better talking about everything or if she would even know what to say. Now, sitting in front of them as they admitted they had effectively wiped their schedules for her at a moment’s notice, she was glad she’d made the call. And so, so thankful for both of them. If they weren’t the personification of everything her tiny hometown stood for, she didn’t know what was.
She didn’t dare pick up her mug, fearful her strength might suddenly give out at any moment. ‘Something … happened.’
Another glance was exchanged between Allison and Paige, this time tainted with worry.
‘Okay …’ Allison drew out the word. ‘Are you all right?’
‘Yes,’ she replied quickly, followed by, ‘Well, yes but no.’ Flustered, she huffed out a loud sigh. ‘I kissed Branch.’
In perfect unison, the jaws of both women across the table from her gaped open, then they stuttered out, ‘What?’
‘Well, he kissed me, I mean,’ Kait corrected. ‘But I kissed him back, and I … well, I guess it doesn’t really matter who kissed who, does it?’
‘No, it really doesn’t.’ Allison wore a wolfish grin, leaning forward, chin on her hands. ‘What does matter is that it’s got you all aflutter. Who am I kidding, it’s got me all aflutter, too!’ Her friend clasped her hands together and bounced up and down in her seat.
There wasn’t a woman Kait could think of who loved the idea of love more than Allison. She had always been a hopeless romantic, but seeing as she still considered herself a newlywed after getting married less than a year and a half ago, the milestone had somehow taken that love of romance and turned it into a full-blown passion. So, news like this was going to send her friend into a heart-shaped frenzy despite the fact that she, as well as Paige, knew the whole sordid story of her tumultuous past with Branch Sterling.
Paige put a hand on Allison’s arm, calming her. ‘But you’re conflicted about it,’ she said. ‘Because you thought you hated him.’
‘Exactly.’ Kait fidgeted with her coffee mug. ‘Is it wrong if I still love him after everything that’s happened?’
‘Kait, you can’t pick and choose who you love.’ Allison paused, choosing her words carefully. ‘I think you know that better than anyone.’
She was right. Allison knew all too well about the two-year relationship she had had with Zach. Or, more accurately, attempted. She’d been a sounding board for her during many conversations as Kait tried to convince herself she would eventually feel the same way about him as he felt about her, to no avail. If there was one thing she’d learned from her efforts, it was that love wasn’t a choice.
‘I wanted to love Zach,’ Kait said sheepishly. ‘You know I did. I tried to, but I just didn’t lo
ve him that way.’
‘Even after everything,’ Paige added in a soft tone. ‘Don’t you see? The tragedy you went through wasn’t enough to force you into loving Zach, because it wasn’t enough to make you stop loving Branch, either.’
Covering her face with her hands, she pressed her fingers into her eye sockets, letting out a dramatic groan. ‘What am I going to do?’
Kait had managed to put off talking about Branch to her friends since the day she found out he was back in town, only divulging that, yes, her high school sweetheart was in Port Landon, and, no, she didn’t want to hash out what that meant to her. Snippets of the truth had come out through brief text messages and fleeting meetups while each of the women were occupied with living their own lives. But now, having her two most trusted confidantes in front of her, ready and waiting to listen and help in any way they could, Kait just wanted answers. She didn’t want to have to overanalyze every aspect of her past any more, and she certainly didn’t relish the idea of trying to figure out what the heck to do now that the past had caught up with the present. She yearned for someone to tell her what the right thing to do was, because right and wrong when it came to her feelings for Branch seemed to be a blurred line.
‘What do you want to do?’ Paige asked encouragingly, a soft smile highlighting her features.
Another groan threatened to bubble up in her throat. To Kait, Paige’s question sounded a whole lot like, We can’t make that decision for you. She lowered her hands, pressing them into the table edge. ‘I know that both Janna and Zach—’
‘Whoa, wait a minute.’ Allison held her hands up, shaking her head vehemently. ‘We know, we know … Janna hates Branch because he broke your heart, and Zach hates his guts because, well—’
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