Spin

by Colleen Nelson

  “Ray?” one of them spoke loudly in his face. “Ray?”

  “Unresponsive,” she said into her radio. “We’re bringing him in.”

  “What’s wrong with him? Was it a heart attack?”

  “Let’s get him to the hospital. We’ll figure things out there, okay? You want to ride with us?” The EMT and her partner lifted Dad onto the gurney on three. His eyelids fluttered.

  “Yeah.” I ran to his room and grabbed a pair of jeans, underwear, and a shirt. From under the sink, I pulled out a plastic shopping bag and stuffed everything in. Toothbrush. Ran to the bathroom and grabbed it. My mind clicked through the essentials. I still had on the sweats I’d slept in, but I didn’t care. I grabbed a shirt off the floor of my room and put on some runners, then followed the paramedics down to the ambulance.

  I had to call Dizzy. Wherever she was, she needed to know what had happened.

  - 43 -

  Dizzy

  Lou’s number flashed on the screen of my phone. It was the third time he’d called in five minutes. I didn’t want to talk to him. He’d be mad about the video. I wanted to lie low at Maya’s house until she came back to the house with me. I didn’t think I could face Dad and Lou alone.

  Did that make me a coward? I’d put out the truth about who Georgia was, but I couldn’t face the fallout.

  My phone was blowing up with notifications. I couldn’t keep up. I’d set this ball in motion and now it was rolling on its own. What had I done?

  “Dizzy!” Maya’s mom gasped when she came downstairs in her pyjamas. “What are you doing here?” I’d spent a sleepless night on Maya’s couch. Carla ran a hand self-consciously through her hair. I doubted mine looked any better than hers did. “Did you sleep here?”

  I nodded.

  “What’s going on?”

  “I —” I started and then stared at her stupidly. “I —”

  Her face went from shocked to concerned. “Dizzy? Are you okay?”

  I shook my head. She came to sit down beside me on the couch. “What is it?” The baby monitor flickered with sound. Carla glanced at it but gave her attention to me.

  I knew then I should have stayed at home. Dad and Lou would find my bed empty and wonder. Once they saw the video, they’d think I left because I was ashamed of what I’d done. I’d started a landslide without warning them.

  Maybe it was easier to just show Carla, instead of trying to explain it. I picked up my phone from the table and played her the video. Her eyes grew wide as she watched, her mouth frozen in a surprised O. She turned to me, the same look of disbelief on her face as Maya had had the night I told her.

  “This is my birth certificate.” I’d left it lying out and pushed it toward her. “It says Hay, but it’s her.”

  “Oh my god. Dizzy!”

  “Mom?” Maya stood at the top of the stairs, looking down at us.

  Carla turned to her.

  “Lily’s awake.”

  “Okay,” Carla said, distracted.

  “You told her,” Maya guessed.

  I nodded.

  “I can’t believe it,” Carla said, staring at the birth certificate. “All this time and you never said anything.”

  “It was a secret,” Maya said, coming down the stairs. “She only told me a little while ago.”

  “The concert,” Carla said, realization dawning on her. “That was why you had to go!”

  We both nodded. Carla fell back against the couch cushions. Lily’s cries got louder, amplified by the speaker. “I better get her.” She pulled herself up from the couch and ran up the stairs. “Shh, shh, it’s okay, Lily. Mama’s here.”

  “Thanks,” Maya said. “For telling her.” She turned off the monitor as she sat down in her mom’s empty spot.

  “She would have found out sooner or later. The video’s out there now.” I glanced at my phone as a text came through from Lou. I stared, not believing what I was reading. Dad’s in the hospital. Call me.

  Hospital?

  What did he mean by hospital? I stared at Maya. She looked at me expectantly. My voice shook. “Lou said Dad’s in the hospital.”

  “What?”

  I scrolled back through my missed calls. All from Lou. “He keeps calling. I thought it was about the video.”

  “You better call him.”

  I took a deep breath. Maybe it was a trick. Dad was fine, but Lou wanted to fool me into calling him. No, I thought, Lou wouldn’t do that. This had to be real. I pressed the Call icon beside Lou’s name and held the phone to my ear. “Where are you?” were his first words.

  “At Maya’s. Is Dad okay?”

  “We’re at St. Luke’s. They’re doing tests right now.”

  Tests? My heart thudded. “What happened?”

  “He passed out. I thought it was a heart attack, but they said his oxygen levels were okay, so maybe it wasn’t. They still have to do a bunch of blood tests though.”

  “Oh my god,” my voice cracked. “Can you come get me?”

  “I don’t have the car. I came in the ambulance. Anyway, I want to stay here. I called the guys. One of them could pick you up. Or Jeremy. I let him know, too. He’s going to open the store.”

  “Okay.” I tried to control my breathing. “But, Dad’s going to be okay, right?”

  “I don’t know, Dizz. They’re not telling me anything.” I thought Lou would reassure me. The fact that he didn’t scared me more than anything. “Listen, you can’t go back home. There were reporters hanging out. Looking for a comment.”

  “Reporters?” My mouth went dry.

  “Yeah, reporters. Because of your video.” His voice was tight, like he’d said it through clenched teeth.

  “I didn’t — how did?” I stammered for something to say. “Did Dad — did he see what I posted?”

  “Yeah,” Lou said, bitterly. “Just before he passed out.”

  A strangled cry burst from my throat. “Don’t be mad, Lou, please don’t be mad.” But he cut me off.

  “I can’t talk anymore. My phone’s going to die. Just come down when you can. We’re in Emergency. They haven’t moved him to a floor yet.”

  I ended the call and sat staring at the wall. Maya was watching me but didn’t say anything. Tears welled in my eyes and I let them fall down my cheeks.

  “Is he okay?” she asked.

  “I don’t know.” It was hard to breathe.

  “What are you going to do?”

  “I don’t — how should I —?” Nothing made sense. My mind spun in circles. “Jeremy. I should call Jeremy. He’ll take me to the hospital.” I pressed my lips together. They were wet with tears. “Oh my god. What if Dad — what if he …?” I couldn’t finish the thought. “Oh god. Maya,” I erupted into sobs. The thought of Dad in the hospital — it was too terrifying to imagine. I’d been wrapped up in Georgia and wanting recognition from her, but in the end, Dad was what mattered. Dad was everything.

  Maya was at my side, shoving a box of tissues into my hands. “He’s going to be okay,” she whispered. “Do you want me to call Jeremy?”

  I nodded, and she took my phone from my hands and dialled his number. “It’s Maya,” I heard her say. “Can you come to my place and pick up Dizzy? She needs a ride to the hospital.” Maya was quiet for a second, throwing me concerned looks. “He doesn’t have a car,” she said.

  “He can use ours. Lou went in the ambulance.” My voice sounded a million miles away.

  Maya told Jeremy and hung up. “He’s on his way. He has to go to the store to get the keys first and then he’ll come get you.” She passed me my phone. I gripped it hard, pressing it between my palms. “What if it was my fault? What if it was the video? He saw it and then —”

  Maya cut me off. “You don’t know what happened.” She used the same bossy voice with me as she used with her sisters. “Go get changed. Jeremy’s going to be here in a few minutes.”

  “Your mom —” I started.

  “I’ll tell her. She’s probably feeding Lily.
Go get ready.”

  I nodded, grateful to be ordered around, given a job, even though getting dressed sounded like a daunting task. He’s going to be okay. He’s going to be okay, I kept thinking while I fumbled for something to wear. I started bargaining, trying to find ways to save him. I’ll never speak about Georgia again if he’s okay. I’ll take down the video, say I lied, that the birth certificate is a fake, whatever it takes for him to be okay.

  Finally, I sat on the bed and closed my eyes, concentrating as hard as I could on Dad. Using every bit of power contained in my body, I prayed to whoever was listening that he’d be okay.

  - 44 -

  Lou

  The coffee was burnt and no amount of sugar or cream made it taste any better. I kept drinking it, though, because it gave me something to do. Dad’s friends had wanted to come down, but I told them no. There was nothing they could do. I was just sitting around waiting for a doctor to tell me what the hell was going on. I stood up. I’d been sitting here for so long, my butt was numb. They tried to make the waiting room comfortable, with magazines, a television playing the news on mute, and cheery colours, but there was no mistaking that if you were hanging out in a hospital waiting room, it wasn’t for a good reason.

  I watched other people come in. Some didn’t look sick at all, and it made me wonder what was wrong with them. One guy arrived, writhing in pain, and puked all over the floor. He still had to wait, though. There weren’t enough beds. They’d taken Dad right away. One look at his grey skin and anyone could see he was in bad shape.

  He’d woken up for a second in the ambulance. He’d tried to say something and then was out of it again.

  I drained my cellphone battery watching Dizzy’s video again. What had she been thinking? If she wanted Georgia’s attention, she was going to get it, along with the attention of every reporter and photographer. We were going to get splashed across all the newspapers and entertainment shows. She had no idea how much our lives would change. No idea. I had to shut my eyes and concentrate on breathing slowly. Getting riled up wouldn’t help things. She’d be here soon with Jeremy. All that mattered now was Dad. Once we found out if he was going to be okay, we could concentrate on the other stuff.

  There was a flurry at the door. Dizzy had arrived. She scanned the room, looking for me. I waited a few seconds. Let her panic, I thought. But big-brotherly instinct kicked in and I raised my hand so she’d see me.

  She looked like she was going to cry with relief as she came across the waiting area. We stood inches apart. “Where’s Jeremy?”

  “Parking. He took our car.”

  I nodded. There was a lump in my throat. I’d kept calm this whole time, but now that Dizzy was here, I could feel myself slipping.

  “Where’s Dad?” she asked.

  “In there.” I nodded to the doors past the triage desk. “We can’t see him till they finish running tests.” I could keep it together as long as we talked about the process. But, if she asked me anything else, I’d fall apart. She bit her lip, nodding.

  “What happened?”

  In my mind, I remembered him going down. It hadn’t been a thud, but a slow crumble as he’d collapsed to the ground. He’d said my name, but I hadn’t done anything to help. I’d just stood there, watching. How long had it taken me to spring into action? Seconds? Minutes? Longer?

  “I thought he was dead.” I took a quick inhalation, steadying myself. What if he had died? Then what? Dizzy was all the family I had. She looked at me, horrified. I needed to be the strong one. “The way he fell, it was like he fainted.”

  “Maybe that’s all it was? The shock of things?”

  Things. “Yeah, we need to talk about those things.”

  “Not here.”

  I shook my head. “No, but later.”

  She looked at the floor and nodded.

  I saw Jeremy through the glass doors. He stopped dead in his tracks, a look of astonishment on his face, phone in hand. Slowly, his eyes peeled away from the screen, and he stood frozen in the entrance. He’d seen the video.

  “Jer’s here,” I said to Dizzy. He looked back at his phone in disbelief. “I think he just watched the video.”

  Dizzy didn’t say anything. What could she say? Everyone who knew us would be doing the same thing today and for a few more days as it circulated. Friends and customers would be unable to believe that what they were watching was true. And then, as the information clicked into place, they’d probably wonder how they hadn’t guessed before. “Hey,” Jeremy said, hesitating. He blinked at me a few times, confused. “Your dad?” But before I could say anything, he turned to Dizzy. “Georgia?” He looked at both of us like he’d been hit on the head with something hard.

  Dizzy stared at the ground. She nodded.

  “Oh my god.” Jeremy reached behind him for a seat. “Oh my god,” he said again.

  “Go find out about Dad,” Dizzy whispered to me.

  There was no lineup at one of the triage desks, so I stood in front of the nurse and waited for her to make eye contact. “Excuse me, do you know if Ray Doucette has been admitted?”

  “Let me check.” She typed into her computer. “Yep. They just admitted him to the cardiac unit upstairs.”

  My mouth went dry. “Okay. So, can we go see him?”

  She peered at me over reading glasses. “Do you know how to get there?”

  “No.”

  “It’s easiest to go back outside and use the main entrance. Cardiac is on the third floor.”

  I nodded. “Thanks. Is he okay?”

  “I really don’t know. He’s been admitted, that’s all it says on the screen.”

  I went back to our spot and Dizzy looked at me hopefully. “He’s been admitted. Come on.”

  Dizzy and Jeremy followed me toward the doors. “You okay?” Jeremy asked as we walked around the corner. The sidewalk was littered with cigarette butts. A lady with an oxygen tank unplugged her nose piece and lit one up right in front of us. I turned away from the smoke.

  “I don’t know,” I sighed.

  “He’s tough. He’ll be okay.”

  I knew that was the kind of thing you say when someone’s in the hospital, but tough had nothing to do with not dying. Tough guys died all the time.

  - 45 -

  Dizzy

  Seeing Dad in the hospital bed, hooked up to machines, made me start crying again. I wanted to run and throw myself in his arms, but he looked broken and weak. His skin was loose around his jaw, like he’d instantly lost weight, his neck scrawny in the loose-fitting hospital gown. Lou put the bag he’d brought on the floor by the bed and leaned over to give Dad an awkward one-arm hug. I followed, burying my head against his shoulder and breathing in the smell of bleach and antiseptic. I pulled away, all the things I wanted to say to him muddled.

  “What did the doctor say?” Lou asked.

  “Don’t think it’s a heart attack. Ran a bunch of tests, said they’ll know more in a few hours.” His voice was weak. Dad swallowed and looked at me. “They think it was dehydration and low blood pressure. I’m not getting enough liquids,” he sort of snorted. “That’s what this is.” He pointed to the IV stuck into the bend of his elbow. A machine above his bed beeped. I watched the green line go up and down.

  “That’s all?” I asked. Relief flooded through me.

  “They want to keep me here for the day. Make sure there’s nothing else going on and then I can go home.”

  There was a long silence. The video. It screamed its presence. We were all thinking about it, now that we knew Dad was probably going to be okay. “I’m going to get a coffee. Anyone want one?” Jeremy asked.

  Lou shook his head.

  “Not allowed,” Dad told him.

  “I’ll be back in a bit.” He tried to give me a half-smile as he left, but it came out strained. He knew, as well as I did, what was coming next. The door shut with a muffled thud after him.

  “Dad —” I started. He held up a hand.

  “I’m not
mad, Dizzy. I mean, I am —” he took a breath “— but it’s done. It’s out there. Now we have to deal with it.” We. Not you. We.

  “There were already photographers outside the store,” Lou said. “They took pictures of Dad when he got loaded into the ambulance.”

  I looked between them, a sick feeling rising in my throat. “They did?”

  “Yeah! It’s only going to get worse. What did you expect?” Lou raised his voice and ran a hand through his hair, exasperated.

  “Shh,” Dad said. “Enough.”

  Lou clamped his mouth shut and gripped the rails on Dad’s bed.

  “We have to decide the best way to handle this,” Dad said.

  “Say ‘no comment’ to everyone. Maybe it’ll fade away. They’ll get tired of chasing a story that no one wants to talk about,” Lou said.

  Jeremy burst into the room and we all turned to the door. He didn’t say anything but he went to the table beside Dad’s bed and grabbed the remote control for the TV. “You guys are all over the news. Look.” He aimed the remote at the TV and turned it on.

  A reporter stood in front of the store. There were others, too; I could see them in the background. They’d taken over the sidewalk. “This record store has become the centre of what could be the biggest scandal to hit the music world in years. A video surfaced last night of Delilah Doucette.” The TV cut to a photo of me spinning. It was one Lou had posted on Facebook after I’d co-headlined with Jeremy. “Delilah is fifteen and a local DJ. In the video, she claims that Georgia Waters is her mother. These reports are unconfirmed by Waters. Earlier this morning, Ray Doucette, the girl’s father, was taken from the home in an ambulance.”

  The news anchor interrupted with a question. “Has Georgia Waters issued a statement yet?”

  “No, and that’s being seen as odd. We’ve seen other cases of famous fathers having children suddenly step out of the shadows. Usually, a paternity test is ordered and the matter is put to rest. But, of course, with a mother, she would know whether or not she’d given birth to these children. Georgia has scheduled a press conference for tomorrow, where I expect she will shed some light on the truth.”