by Tamie Dearen
“She won’t take pain medication, and she thinks she didn’t sacrifice herself for Jace,” Olivia answered, smiling at Charlie as if she were indulging a small child. “So I’ll leave you to handle our stubborn friend.”
Brad got out a syringe and loaded it, preparing to inject into Charlie’s IV.
“Wait! What is that? I told Olivia I don’t need any more pain medication.”
Brad ignored her, continuing to inject the syringe. “Your blood pressure and heart rate are elevated, a certain sign you’re in pain, even if you’re too stubborn to tell us. Now I know you must feel better—I saw your muscles relax.”
“Yes, but I don’t want to get addicted to pain meds.” Her tongue became a piece of rubber.
“Stop worrying. We won’t let that happen. And about the other thing you said... There were seven of us watching the whole episode, not counting you and Jace. We all saw what happened. And you don’t even remember.”
“That’s just it. I would know if that was really what happened. I would remember making the decision. That’s why I know it was only an accident.”
Brad shook his head. “Charlie, what difference does it make to you anyway? Why do you insist on arguing about it?”
“Because I don’t deserve this stupid praise I’m getting. And more importantly, because... If I talk to you, will you promise to keep it to yourself? Like doctor/patient confidentiality?”
“Yes, I promise.” He grinned. “Unless you’re planning to kill someone.”
She couldn’t meet his eyes. “It’s important because Josh feels obligated to me. He’s acting different. Completely different from before the accident.”
Brad placed a gentle hand on hers. “He loves you, Charlie. It took him almost losing you to realize it. That’s why he acts differently now.”
“That’s not it.” Tears welled in her eyes. “I’ve seen how he looks at me. How guilty he looks.”
“He should feel guilty,” said Brad. “He was planning to marry someone else when he was in love with you.”
“Or he’s trying to act the way he thinks he’s supposed to act with someone who saved his nephew’s life.”
“Charlie...”
“And he gives me this pitying look when he can tell I’m in pain. That’s why I don’t want him to know.”
“Charlie, you’re being unreasonable. Maybe he loves you and doesn’t want to see you hurting.”
“Brad, remember your promise, not to repeat this to anyone...” she warned, glancing toward the door to be certain no one was listening. “I know he’s not really in love with me. We talked about it when I woke up from surgery.”
Brad was shaking his head. “Charlie, you must have been out of it from the drugs. You misunderstood.”
“No. He told me he wasn’t going to marry Olivia, and I offered to marry him so he could still adopt Chloe. And he agreed to pretend we were in love.”
Brad scrunched up his face, trying to make sense of her words. “Are you saying he said he didn’t love you? That he would just pretend to love you?”
“Yes, but we both agreed to work on the marriage so we would eventually grow to love each other. We were serious about the commitment.”
“Charlie, you are seriously screwed up if you believe that.”
“What? You don’t think we can grow to love each other?”
“No, Charlie, I think you’re already in love.”
Salty drops ran down her face. “I know I am, but he isn’t. And I don’t want his pity or gratitude. This whole accident thing has ruined everything.”
“Please don’t cry. I hate it when women cry. I can’t even be mad at you for being ridiculous when you’re crying.”
“I’m s-sorry.” His words opened the floodgates. “It s-seems like I c-cry all the t-time now.”
“It’s probably a side effect of your pain meds.” Brad patted her hand. “But seriously, Charlie. What would he have to do to prove he loves you?”
“For starters, he’d have to stop being so nice all the time.”
Brad rolled his eyes around. “Do you women have a rulebook or something? I mean... Is there someplace where this stuff is written down? Something we men can refer to? Because that doesn’t make any sense to me at all.”
“It makes perfect sense. When you love someone, you respect them instead of pitying them. So you’re willing to fight and argue with them. Right now he treats me the same way he would treat one of his dying patients.” A thought suddenly occurred. “Am I actually dying, and no one has told me? Because I would be so mad—”
“No, Charlie. You’re not likely to die now. But you really did come close. That’s the only reason he’s been handling you with kid gloves.” His face brightened. “In fact, I bet you could get him riled up enough to argue with you, now. Maybe then you won’t be so suspicious.”
“How? What would he argue about?”
“I don’t know,” he said, scratching his head. “He really loves his apartment. Maybe you could insist he needed to get a different one.”
“I’ve never actually been to his apartment.”
“He loves his job in the ER. You could suggest he needed to change to something where he wouldn’t ever be on call. You know, something like dermatology. Something impossible, where he’d have to apply and do a whole new residency.”
“Okay, I’ll try. But I doubt it’ll work.” Her temporary enthusiasm was lost as her gloomy shroud returned. “Thanks for listening, Brad. And I’m counting on you to keep this conversation confidential.”
Brad replied with an irritated grunt.
Josh had a perfect opportunity to speak to Charlie, to tell her the truth, while she was alone in the bedroom suite of the private jet. He steeled his nerves and crept into the room.
“Hey... How are you feeling?” he asked.
“I feel great.”
His heart clenched. He could tell she was still lying about her pain, and he couldn’t understand why she wouldn’t be honest with him.
“Uhmm... We need to talk,” Josh said.
“Yeah. I do need to tell you something.” He noticed her eyes were darting around, and she wouldn’t quite look at him. “I think I... I uhmm... remember the accident.”
“Really?”
“Yes, and I’m pretty sure I didn’t throw myself in front of Jace, like you thought. I think I just tripped.”
“Yes, you did. You jumped sideways in front of the snowboard. Everyone saw you.”
“No. It was just an accidental fall. I’m sure of it.”
“Why are you saying this?”
“I’m just being honest.”
“I know what I saw, and everyone else saw it too.” Why would she deny what she’d done? Her actions only inspired him to be as selfless with her as she’d been with Jace. As always, Charlie inspired him to be a better person.
“You misinterpreted things. I was trying to get him to move, but I didn’t do anything heroic—it was an accident. You don’t owe me anything, and neither does Jace. I mean... I love Jace, and I’m glad he’s okay, but...”
“You’re wrong,” Josh said, as he felt himself losing his tight control. “I do owe you. I owe you everything.” He banged his hand down on the bedside table. “You’re the reason I’m getting to adopt Chloe and Jace, and you’re the reason Jace is alive.”
She gave a heavy sigh, and he saw a glimpse of pain before an impassive mask fell over her face. “I’ve been thinking, I’m not sure I like you being in emergency medicine. There are too many times you’d be on call. So I thought you might switch over to something different. Something like say... dermatology.”
“Dermatology!” he snapped. “Are you kidding me?” She was asking him to abandon the career he loved after completing a four-year residency and working his way up in the hospital. He’d have to start a brand new residency. What’s more, he wasn’t even interested in dermatology. He glared her direction and saw her expression, wide-eyed and hopeful. How could he disappoint her? If
this was what it took to make her happy, he at least had to be willing to try.
“I’ll be honest. I’m not crazy about the idea. But if it’s really what you want, I’ll check into residency programs in New York.”
He saw the hope die in her eyes. “That’s okay—I think the ER is fine. Whatever you want is fine.”
“But I thought you wanted—”
“Never mind.” She turned her head away. “I think I want to go back to sleep.”
“But we haven’t really talked.”
She closed her eyes and refused to respond.
He’d have to wait for another opportunity to tell her he already loved her.
“WHAT DO I HAVE TO DO to get out of here?” Charlie complained. “It’s almost Christmas and I still have shopping to do.”
“I know how much you hate it. I think you get that from me.” Her mom’s grin was infectious.
“But Steven got you out of the hospital and hired Connie Marshall as a home nurse. I’m still stuck in here.” She heard the whine in her voice, but she couldn’t stop herself.
“There’s a chance they’ll release you today,” said Anne. “But I think Josh likes having you here where he can run up and check on you.”
“Well I don’t like it. If they don’t release me, I swear I’m going to get dressed and walk out and take the subway home.”
“Oh my.” Charlie heard someone chuckling from the doorway. “We can’t have you taking the subway home.” Her doctor, Sherri Evans, approached her bed. “Is it so terrible in here?”
“Yes. Please let me out.”
“I can probably release you today if you won’t be alone. I know you’re engaged to Dr. Branson. Will you be going home with him?”
Charlie felt her face redden, but her Mom saved her from explaining. “She’ll be coming home with us for now. I’m not working for the next two weeks, so I can keep an eye on her.”
“I start law school on January eighth,” said Charlie.
“That’s pretty quick.” Dr. Evans checked Charlie’s incisions. “You seem to be healing well on the outside, but don’t let that fool you. You’ve got a lot more healing to do internally.” She looked up and smiled. “Okay, I’ll sign your release papers.”
“Thank you!” Charlie wanted to leap from the bed, but she knew better than to make any jerky movements that might cause a flash of pain.
“When is the wedding?” Dr. Evans asked.
“Soon—we’re not doing a big ceremony.”
“That sounds like Josh. He’s lucky he found someone who thinks like he does. He’s very excited—he talks about you all the time.”
“He does?” She couldn’t hide the surprise in her voice.
“Yes. And he smiles all the time now. He used to be a bit grouchy. So we’re all really grateful to you.”
“Yeah, he’s grateful, too.”
Dr. Evans arched her eyebrow high. “You don’t seem too excited. Are you worried because of your injuries?”
“I’m excited about the wedding, but I’m anxious to get out of here.” She forced her lips into an upward curve.
“Well, in that case, you should be in a really good mood now. We’ll send someone up with a wheelchair when you’re ready to go. You’re not allowed to walk out of here.”
“I don’t know how much rest you’re going to get with the boys in the apartment. They’re going to be so excited you’re staying with us.” Anne was already calling to make arrangements for a ride home.
“I think I’d be fine on my own,” she muttered.
“We’re going to do everything they say so you don’t risk any setbacks,” Anne reasoned.
“I’m sorry, Mom. You’re right, but I’m used to being independent.”
“Well, you might as well get used to losing your independence. I guess you’ll be married in a month, unless you’ve decided to back out of it.” She paused, and the air felt thick with emotion. “You don’t have to go through with it if you’re not ready.”
“No. I’m ready to get married. I’m not changing my mind.”
“Well, I have to agree with Dr. Evans. You don’t seem very enthusiastic.”
“It’s because I don’t like being an invalid.”
“Are you sure that’s all?”
“That’s all. I promise.”
Three quick raps sounded on the door and Olivia appeared. “Hey! I hear you’re getting out today.”
“Yep,” said Charlie. “Just got my walking papers.”
“I’m going to check on the car.” Anne slipped out the door.
“Stay in bed for now. I’ll pack up your things for you.” Olivia emptied the closet, placing the clothes in her bag. “Why aren’t you wearing an engagement ring yet?”
“I hadn’t even thought about it.”
“Well, he’s already got a whopper he made me wear when we talked to the ad litem. I’m surprised he hasn’t tried to give it to you yet.”
She didn’t really want to wear the ring he bought for Olivia, but she wouldn’t complain. Why worry about a ring if your husband doesn’t love you. “He’s been really busy since we got back. I’m sure he hasn’t thought about it.”
“Well, what are you getting him for Christmas?”
“I have no idea. I’ve been stuck in this prison, and I haven’t had time to do any Christmas shopping.” Charlie felt panicky as she considered the daunting task.
“Well, I’m going to take you shopping tomorrow... In a wheelchair.”
“I’m not going shopping in a wheelchair.”
“You know good and well you won’t be able to go any other way, and there are only two days before Christmas. You don’t have time to order online.”
“Ugh! I hate shopping. And I hate shopping in crowds. And I’m going to hate being stared at in a wheelchair.”
“Lucky for you, you’re going shopping with me. Because I love shopping. And I love shopping in crowds at Christmas. And I’m going to look so hot no one will even notice you in the wheelchair.”
Charlie chortled. “Ow! Stop making me laugh—it hurts!”
“It’s about time you got out of this grumpy mood. A few broken bones, a busted aorta, and a lost spleen, and you get all crabby and petulant.”
“Don’t forget the hole in my lungs. But that’s not it. The problem is I didn’t get to finish my ski trip.” She chuckled. “And I’m not kidding about that. I’m really mad I only got half a day on my board.”
“Well, you don’t have time to brood about it. We’ve got places to go, people to see, sales to hit, and sweets to eat.”
“SO WHAT ARE YOU GETTING Charlie for Christmas?” Brad asked Josh as they donned their lab coats.
“I’ve got it covered,” Josh said, proudly. “I’m giving her an engagement ring.”
“When did you have time to go ring shopping?”
“Luckily, I already had one. And it’s a beauty!”
“Josh. You’re kidding me, right? You’re going to give her the same ring you gave Olivia?”
“Well... yes. But technically, I didn’t actually give it to Olivia, because she turned it down. She only wore it for an hour while we talked to the ad litem.”
“And you already know what kind of ring she wants?”
“It’s a big diamond. What else matters?”
“Believe me, all women have very specific ideas of what they want in an engagement ring. But don’t take my word for it. Ask Charlie. Or if you want to surprise her, ask Emily. She probably knows what Charlie wants.”
“I can’t do that by Christmas. Now I’ll have to think of something else.” He should have known he couldn’t use the same ring for Charlie. Of course he needed to make her feel special.
“You know what I think would make her really happy?” asked Brad.
“What?” he asked eagerly.
“I think she’d like to be absolutely certain, beyond a shadow of a doubt, you’re in love with her.”
“I’m pretty sure she knows—I’ve done
everything I could think of to show her what she means to me.” A note of bitterness crept into his voice. “I’m the one who’d like to have that as a Christmas present.”
“But you’ve told her you love her?”
“Well... It’s complicated.”
“Have you had any arguments?”
“No, but we’ve come close. Sometimes she comes up with really crazy ideas. But you know, I always give in rather than argue. And after I give in, she does too. We never argue for very long. So, I guess we’re doing well in the communication area.”
Brad made a huffing sound. “Why do you give in? That’s not like you.”
“Yeah, but... Listen. I’ll tell you something, but don’t tell anyone. Especially Grace.”
“Okay.”
Why did Brad sound so reluctant?
“You see... Well... You know I’m in love with Charlie. I’ve admitted it. But she’s only marrying me because she loves Jace and Chloe, so I can’t afford to have an argument with her. She might change her mind about getting married.”
Brad’s expression was pained. “Josh. Has anyone ever told you, you’re an idiot?”
“Only Olivia, and I certainly didn’t appreciate it.”
“Don’t you think it’s possible she’s already in love with you? Isn’t it possible she’s unsure of your feelings? And isn’t it possible, since you’re acting so considerate and always giving in rather than being yourself, you’re making her doubt your motivation?”
“No. When she really falls in love with me, I’ll be able to tell.”
“Really? And how is that?”
“I’ll be able to see it in her eyes.” He spoke the words with more confidence than he felt, praying they were true. “And I’m hoping it’ll happen before we get married. But don’t worry—I’ll know.”
“HOW WAS WORK TODAY?” asked Grace.
Brad groaned. “It was awful, and I really want to tell you about it, but I can’t, because I promised I wouldn’t. And for once, I actually wish I could help you meddle a little.”
“Really?” Grace asked, her voice rising with her eyebrows. “But you can’t tell me anything?”