by Tamie Dearen
Charlie struggled to control her tears, but each shuddering breath brought on another sharp pain. “I’m s-sorry. I c-can’t seem to s-stop crying.”
“That’s okay, dear. Are you in pain?”
She gave him a small nod, hoping her Mom wouldn’t notice.
“Your PCA still isn’t cutting it? You don’t need to pretend you’re not hurting. I’m going to add something here...” Charlie watched as he put on gloves and filled a syringe and injected into her IV. Within seconds, she felt the pain ease.
“Oh... That’s better.” Her entire body relaxed. The image of a wet noodle passed through her mind. “I’m sorry I’m so much trouble. I guess I’m kind of a wimp.”
“Not at all,” said Dr. Sommers. “You’ve had some major trauma to your body, and major surgery to repair it. I expect you’re having to deal with a high level of pain.”
“Okay,” she sniffed.
“May I check your incisions?”
“I’ll just wait outside,” Steven said.
While he was examining her surgical sites, she asked, “How long will I be here?”
“It seems your father has arranged for you to travel back to New York as soon as you’re out of CCU. You’ll be out of here in a couple of days, but you’ll need to stay in the hospital in New York for another three to five days.”
“I messed up the ski trip for everybody.”
“What a funny thing to think, after you saved someone’s life. As I understand it, you did a very brave thing.”
“That’s what Josh told me, but I don’t remember it. I’m not so sure.”
“We all saw it,” said Anne. “I have little doubt Jace would’ve been killed or at least very badly injured if you hadn’t blocked him with your own body.”
“Yes,” Dr. Sommers agreed. “I think Dr. Branson feels quite indebted to you.”
“Oh.” Would he have agreed to marry her because he felt obligated?
“So you had a nice chat with Dr. Branson when you woke up?” he asked.
“I guess so.”
He raised an eyebrow. “You guess so?”
“Dr. Sommers? Am I ever going to be normal again? Will I be able to ski and snowboard and hike and run and climb?”
“Charlotte, I don’t think a normal girl does all of those things, so I doubt you’ll ever be normal.” He slanted his head, giving her a playful smile. “But if you want to know if your body will recover so you can do all the things you love to do, the answer is yes, if you work at it.”
“What about my spleen? I mean, not having one?”
“You’ll have to be careful to avoid infections, get some vaccinations and watch carefully for any symptoms of illness.”
“You’ll tell me what to look for?”
“Yes, but if you happened to be married to a physician, he would know what the signs are.” He tilted his head, obviously waiting for her response.
“Josh and I were supposed to get married, but I’m kind of nervous about it. Eva told me I might be sickly. I wouldn’t want Josh to be stuck with me if I’m not—”
“Eva? Your nurse told you that?”
“She didn’t want to tell me. I made her be honest with me.”
“I see.”
“And I’m going to have scars.”
“Charlie, we told you, when someone loves you they don’t care about superficial things like scars. Would it bother you if Josh had scars?”
“Of course not. But that’s different.”
“How is it different?” Anne asked.
The difference is he doesn’t love me. “You know... He’s... He’s a man.”
“I think you need to hear it from Josh,” said Dr. Sommers. “Would you like for me to talk to him about it?”
“Please don’t. He’ll say it doesn’t bother him, even if it does. He wouldn’t admit the truth if it would hurt my feelings.”
“Charlie, that’s not fair,” Anne said. “You have to trust him. Surely you can believe he’s just as capable of unselfish love as you are.”
“You don’t understand,” she muttered, as tears rose to her eyes again.
Dr. Sommers’ eyes narrowed as he regarded Charlie’s emotional response. “I can give you something for anxiety. Would you like that?”
“I’ll be fine. I already feel like a weakling for needing so much pain medication.”
“Does this self-sacrificing stubbornness run in the family?” he asked Anne.
“It’s not from me. I’m a wimp about pain.” Anne chuckled.
He patted Charlie’s hand. “I think you need to talk to Josh a bit more, and you’ll feel better. Something tells me communication isn’t his strong point.”
EVA SPOTTED DR. BRANSON alone in the waiting room as she finished her shift. She thanked her lucky star, smoothing her hair down before stepping inside. “Hello, Dr. Branson. Can I get you anything? You must be exhausted.”
He paused from his pacing, “No, thank you. I’m sorry, I’ve forgotten your name. Ms....?”
“Eva. Just call me Eva.” She edged toward him. “I could at least get you a cup of coffee. You’re probably hungry. Have you had breakfast?”
“No, I haven’t eaten anything since noon, yesterday. I’ve been too worried.”
“I’m just getting off work. I can show you where to get some breakfast.”
“I appreciate the offer, but—”
“Ms. Carpenter?” Dr. Sommers’ voice interrupted. “May I have a word with you please?”
Eva’s stomach twisted. Dr. Sommers sounded serious. And he almost never sounded serious unless she’d done something wrong.
“I’ll go check on Charlie,” Dr. Branson said.
“Actually, Dr. Branson, I’d like to speak to you as well, if you’ll wait for a moment.” He turned to Eva. “Ms. Carpenter, I only wanted to ask if you have any idea why Ms. Best might think she was going to be sickly and weak and terribly scarred?”
“Uhmm... no. I don’t know. Maybe the Internet?”
“I don’t think Ms. Best has had time to do any research on the Internet,” said Dr. Sommers, with a shrewd smile that didn’t reach his eyes. “I’m sure you would never say such things to a patient in the CCU, because I think you value your job here.”
“Yes, Dr. Sommers. I mean... No, I wouldn’t say anything like that.”
“That will be all, Ms. Carpenter.”
Eva glanced at Dr. Branson, who was regarding her with steely contempt. She slunk out of the room, knowing her opportunity was ruined. She whispered a curse. But she wasn’t one to give up easily. The seeds of a plan sprouted before she reached the end of the long hallway.
“SHE SCARED CHARLIE?” Josh pressed his hands against his legs to stop the shaking. He glared at the empty doorway as if his eyes could somehow follow Eva and slice her to pieces.
“I believe so. But Charlotte also seemed quite concerned you might be upset about her scars.”
“Why would she think that? Did Eva tell her that, too? I don’t care if she has scars on her chest. I wouldn’t even care if she had scars on her face.”
“I understand. And I’m sure you told her as much when you declared your love this morning. I assume you must have spoken about it, since she told me you were getting married.” Sommers pinned him with an already-familiar accusing stare.
“Yes, we did talk about getting married.” Why had he confided in Dr. Sommers? It must have been fatigue and hunger affecting his good judgment. “In fact, we’re getting married next month.”
“I see,” Sommers replied. “So she shouldn’t have any reason to be insecure.”
He suppressed a groan. This was going to be more complicated than he thought. “She has no reason to be insecure.”
“You see, she specifically asked me not to talk to you, because she said you would simply say it didn’t bother you even if it did. So I’m going out on a limb here, going against her wishes. But her parents heard her as well, and I assumed you’d hear about it from them. I just didn’t
want you to be blind-sided.”
“Thanks.” This wouldn’t help his case with Steven.
“I’ve authorized enough medication to keep her out of pain, but she’s hiding it. She thinks it’s a sign of weakness to need pain meds. And before you get angry about that, I’ll tell you I’m fairly certain no one else put this idea in her head. She came up with it all on her own.”
“Okay.” He wondered how he could help her overcome her stubborn streak for her own good.
“That means she’ll probably push herself physically before her body is ready. You’ll have to watch her.”
“Okay, thanks.”
“And Dr. Branson?”
“Yes, sir?”
“She’s a great girl.” He cocked his head and pinned Josh with a shrewd glare. “Don’t blow it.”
“Yes, sir.”
Chapter Fifteen
JOSH WAS LOSING HIS temper even as he struggled to keep a neutral expression. Derek laughed until his eyes watered. At least the others were trying to keep their amusement hidden. The entire group had been lounging around the house, waiting for Josh to arrive and give them the latest update on Charlie. Anne and Steven were still at the hospital, and Spencer and Emily were taking a turn during the afternoon.
“So now you and Charlie are getting married? Can I assume this means I no longer have permission to date her?” asked Derek.
“Shut up, Derek.”
Grace was grinning as she hugged him. “Congratulations, Josh. I guess this means we’re not going to be related after all.”
“It’s about time you listened to me,” said Olivia. “I told you from the beginning—”
“Yes okay. I know,” Josh cut her off.
“But wait... Does this mean I can ask Olivia out?” Derek winked.
“Sure,” Olivia answered.
“Yesterday you told me you were thinking about marrying Charlie,” Josh fumed.
“I’m just a good actor. And it was all part of the master plan.”
“What master plan?” asked Josh with growing irritation.
“Yeah. What master plan?” asked Brad.
Grace signaled Derek, shaking her head and zipping her lips.
“Grace,” said Josh. “You seem to be in on this plan. Care to share?”
Brad furrowed his brows. “Grace, you promised me...”
“Don’t act so innocent, Brad. You were doing your part, too,” Emily said. “You were just more subtle about it.”
“What master plan?” Josh bellowed.
“Poor Josh!” Hannah chuckled. “You see, we all knew you were in love with Charlie, but you couldn’t see it or wouldn’t admit it. All we did was help you realize the truth.”
“And what about Charlie? Did you manipulate her, too?”
“Only a little bit,” said Emily. “We only had to convince her Olivia wasn’t in love with you, which was the truth.”
Josh felt a little nauseous. This was why Charlie had offered to marry him. They’d manipulated her to feel sorry for him. He’d hoped there was a little more affection behind her motives. Now he knew she truly only wanted to help him adopt the kids.
“I’m going to take a shower.” He needed to be alone, to nurse his depression.
“Don’t be mad,” said Olivia. “We all just wanted things to work out for you and Charlie. And they did. Right?”
“Right,” he murmured, retreating to his room.
“HEY SISTER.”
“Why are you here? You’re missing skiing.” Charlie saw her sister fighting against tears. Spencer had a comforting hand on her shoulder.
“No one felt like going today.”
“I’m sorry. I guess I kind of ruined the trip.”
“You’re kidding, right?” Spencer’s arched his brows. “You think we’d have had a better trip if Jace had been killed?”
“To be honest, I don’t remember the accident. And I feel guilty and frustrated.”
“You don’t remember anything? Not even when you were yelling at Jace to move out of the way?” asked Spencer. “And you don’t remember the snowboarder taking the jump?”
“It’s a total blank.”
“That’s probably a good thing,” said Emily. “Because it was pretty terrifying to watch. But suffice it to say, no one feels like skiing today. We’re just hanging out and watching movies and letting the two-year-olds entertain us.”
“So what’s this I hear about you and Josh getting married?” asked Spencer.
“That’s right,” said Charlie. “We love each other, and we’re getting married.”
“Are you sure you’re in love with him? This isn’t because the girls manipulated you and—”
“Spencer,” Emily cut him off. “That’s enough...”
“What? I think she has a right to know.”
“A right to know what?” Charlie’s heart was racing.
“It’s nothing, Charlie. He’s making a big deal out of nothing.”
“If it’s nothing, then tell her,” said Spencer.
“Yes, tell me.”
Emily sighed. “We all knew—”
“Not all,” Spencer corrected. “Leave me out of this.”
“As I was saying,” Emily continued. “We knew you and Josh were in love but neither of you would admit it. So, all we did was help y’all figure it out.”
“How?” Dread settled on her chest like a heavy weight.
“We didn’t do much, really. I mean, Olivia had already decided she wasn’t going to marry Josh, but we finally got him to accept the idea. Honestly, I think when you risked your life to save Jace, and he knew he could have lost you, that’s when he realized he was still in love with you.”
Charlie knew it wasn’t true. She’d hoped he might still have some feelings for her, but Emily had just confirmed what she already suspected. Josh felt obligated to her because she’d saved Jace’s life. And she knew he was grateful she was going to help him adopt Chloe and Jace. But could feelings of obligation and gratitude ever grow into love? Probably not.
JOSH HAD A BIG PROBLEM. How could he assure Charlie he would always love her—that no scars or weaknesses would change anything—without telling her he was already in love with her. He’d been trying to demonstrate his feelings for her. He’d stayed with her at the hospital as much as possible. He’d helped her to eat and brush her teeth. He’d told her repeatedly how much he appreciated her risking her life for Jace. He’d explained how he could never repay her. He’d explained how her scars would be small and would only remind him of her amazing sacrifice. But nothing he’d said or done had seemed to lift her spirits.
Brad and Olivia were keeping a close watch on their stoic patient during the three-hour flight to New York. So far, Josh hadn’t found an opportunity to speak to her alone. She practiced her breathing exercises without complaint, but he could tell she wasn’t happy. What if she was having second thoughts about the marriage?
He had no choice but to confess the truth. That he loved her. That he’d never stopped loving her. That he would always love her. She might be angry with him for asking Olivia to marry him while he was still in love with Charlie. She might despise him for attempting to use her friend. But her security and happiness was the most important thing. He would tell her the truth... the moment the right opportunity presented itself.
THE DRONING JET ENGINES mirrored the groans in her soul. Charlie was depressed. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t seem to pull herself out of it. She should be happy. She was out of the CCU and on her way home. She was marrying the man she loved. She loved Chloe and Jace, and couldn’t wait to be their mother. Josh treated her with incredible care and respect. He’d promised to try to love her.
But she realized he might never have any feelings for her beyond esteem and admiration. She tried to imagine her marriage, longing for love from the man who’d always be a constant reminder of what she couldn’t have. Could her love and relationship with Chloe and Jace make up for the lack of love from Josh
?
Only four days had passed since the accident, but her recovery seemed incredibly slow. She tried to use as little pain medication as possible and despised herself for still needing it. And every time Josh was nice to her, it only made her heart ache more. He obviously felt so much guilt over her supposed sacrifice he might even pretend to love her. And how would she ever know whether it was real or not.
Additionally, she knew everyone had misinterpreted the accident on the ski slope. She’d tried over and over again, but couldn’t remember anything akin to what had been reported to her. She was not only upset Josh felt obligated to her, but also positive his adulation was undeserved.
Olivia seemed to find too much pleasure in her role as Charlie’s nurse on the plane. “So how do you feel?” She checked her blood pressure for the umpteenth time.
“I feel absurd. My blood pressure is fine. Everyone is making too big of a deal out of things. I’m fine, and my blood pressure isn’t going to suddenly shoot up.”
“Well, if you start bleeding internally, it might suddenly drop off. But I’m asking about your pain level. What is it on a scale of one to ten?”
“A two, I guess.”
Olivia raised her brows. “Two being a high level of pain or not much pain?”
“Not much pain.”
“And why do I think you’re lying to me?” Olivia asked.
“I don’t need any more pain medicine.”
“Charlie, it’s only been four days since the accident and surgery. It’s okay to still need pain medication.”
“I don’t need it.”
“Is this because you think your hero status will suffer if you take pain medication?” she teased.
“I’m not a hero! You weren’t even there.”
“Maybe not, but Derek told me what happened, and he was there.”
“Well, I was closer. And I say it was just an accident.”
“What’s the argument about?” asked Brad as he entered the makeshift hospital room occupying the bedroom on Steven’s private jet. “Are you upsetting our patient?”