Things that Go Bump in the Night (Haunted Series)

by Alexie Aaron

  “Mia, I’ve never been more scared in my life. Not even when you went back in time did I feel like I was going to actually lose you. This comic book life we’re leading is starting to take its toll.”

  “I love you,” Mia said simply and stood on her toes and kissed him. “I never stopped believing I would make it back to you. But never did I think that you were coming for me, that you would fight Angelo for me.”

  “I’m hurt, Mia. Of course I would fight for you,” Ted said frowning.

  “No, don’t misunderstand. In my wildest imagination, I couldn’t have figured out how you would even find me… Oh, that sounds worse. Can I say that in the comic book world you are king, and that I have so underestimated you in the paranormal world?”

  “I wish that made me feel better. I guess a fella that spends his life with gadgets rarely gets cast as the leading man. But I assure you, I am your leading man.”

  “You’re Batman,” Mia said.

  “That I am,” Ted said, momentarily appeased.

  Mia smiled up at him. “Batman, would you mind giving me a piggyback ride up that hill,” she said as she rubbed the instep of her left foot. “These slippers are crap with a capital shit.”

  Ted bent over and helped her up on his back. “Mia, about those donuts…”

  ~

  Ralph screamed and ran through the apartment. “She’s safe, she’s safe!” He pushed his cell phone into Bernard’s face.

  “Calm down, we all got a text,” he said, handing Ralph a tissue. “Ted sent us a group text. We’re all listed as family.”

  This made Ralph start sobbing again.

  “Put a cork in it,” Amanda growled, not meaning a word. She planted herself at the kitchen window with her back to the living room so the men wouldn’t see her tears of relief.

  Charles started to climb the bookcase. A stack of books fell to the floor.

  “What the hell are you up to?” Amanda asked, walking into the living room.

  “It’s hidden here behind, the Oxford English… Got it,” Charles said and climbed back down. He held in his hand a bottle of Dalmore. “I was saving it for… Can’t remember, but let’s celebrate getting our daughter back.”

  Ralph rinsed out four glasses, and Amanda held her tongue when he used her bound graduate dissertation for an impromptu tray.

  Charles poured them a measure, and he held his glass high. “To our daughter and the people who brought her back to us.”

  “Ahem, the people and non-people,” Amanda corrected.

  They touched their glasses together and sipped the single malt. They all ignored the burning of the potent brew and that none of them drank single malt scotch. They just enjoyed the warmth of being with family when they heard the good news.

  ~

  Mia looked over at Murphy, concerned. She nudged Ted who had fallen asleep.

  “Wha…” he uttered as he fought his way into wakefulness.

  “Can ghosts puke?” Mia asked, looking over at Murphy who looked positively green.

  Murphy hadn’t moved since the plane took off. He was sitting huddled in a ball in the front corner of the cabin.

  “Considering we just crossed a large body of water and ghosts… No that’s vampires… Cid, can you help me out here?”

  Cid looked up from the magazine he was reading and commented, “No ley lines, several time zones, water… No, I stand corrected, salt water. It’s a miracle he hasn’t exploded.”

  Murphy’s head snapped up, and he looked over at the trio. He got up and sat down next to Mia.

  “He’s just kidding,” she cooed. “Come on, it can’t be as bad as traveling with Idra. I mean, who told her to bathe in perfume,” Mia complained, wrinkling her nose.

  “Oh, look who’s calling who stinky,” Ted said.

  “Hey, I told you it was the clothes,” Mia argued.

  Cid looked back at the article he was reading, not concerned at all that Mia and Ted were fighting. He smiled. Ted and Mia knew full well what they were doing. They had contrived an argument that would keep Murphy’s mind off flying.

  Gerald made his way forward. “The pilot can drop us off at Midway and then take you four to DuPage…”

  “I think we’ll get off at Midway too. Our little shaver isn’t a good flyer,” Mia said, indicating the seemingly empty chair beside her. “Audrey is picking us up in the PEEPs van. Ralph has rented out a suite downtown, and we’re going to party until it’s time to go to the museum, and then we’re going to party some more. You’re welcome to join us.”

  “I may just do that. I’m not sure Beverly is going to be feeling it. She’s afraid Charles and Amanda may…”

  “It’s not them she has to be worried about. It’s Ralph, and he’s this far,” Mia held her fingers an inch apart, “from making her life a living hell.”

  “He’s not…”

  “Oh yes he is. He’s got her colorist on speed dial and is itching to make a call.”

  Gerald shook his head, took a quick glance at the sleeping woman and said, “I think we’ll pass.”

  “Good idea.”

  “What about us, me and you, Mia, are we good?”

  “Gerald, I have no problems with you. Our favors have always been on the up and up.”

  “About that, I guess you’re going to follow through and do Henri a favor at the museum tomorrow.”

  “Yes, I am, and next week I’m going to go to a gangster’s interment. After that, I’m going to break into a burlesque house and steal a half dozen dogs. My calendar’s pretty full these days.”

  “So when is the wedding?”

  With those words Ted sat straight up in his seat.

  “If it wasn’t that we would break Ralph’s and Ted’s mother’s hearts, we would elope ASAP. But, we’re looking at this autumn. Mike’s found us a place to have the ceremony. Ralph’s picked out the décor. All Ted and I have to do is survive in between.”

  “Make sure you send Bev an invitation. She won’t come, but it’s important that you invite her,” Gerald pleaded softly. “Somewhere inside her she loves you, and it would kill her to be left out of your life.”

  Mia wanted to unleash her anger with a bevy of just how Bev wouldn’t be missed by Mia, but she remembered the conversation she had with Audrey. She simply smiled and said, “She’ll get an invite, don’t worry.”

  “Mr. Shem, we’re five miles out. I recommend you take your seat for the landing,” the flight attendant announced.

  Mia reached over and grabbed Murphy’s hand. She grabbed Ted’s with the other, and took a deep breath.

  “If you want, we can have the dogs at the farm,” Ted said.

  Murphy and Mia looked at him astonished.

  “Thank you, but I don’t think they will be happy there. But a dog would be nice when the time is right. Maybe a live one?” Mia asked, her eyes sparkling.

  Murphy raised his hand up off the ground.

  “A big dog, a Murphy-sized dog,” Ted said smiling. “We could give him a doggy name like Cid.”

  “I heard that,” Cid complained. “I don’t have a dog’s name. How about Scooby Doo?”

  Mia and Ted groaned. Murphy reached across the aisle with his axe and flipped Cid’s magazine out of his hand.

  “Hey, no fair using the ghost against me,” Cid whined, reaching for the magazine and finding it just outside his seat-belted reach.

  “Why not let the dog tell us his name?” Mia suggested.

  Cid and Ted looked at Mia, eyes wide in surprise.

  “You can talk to dogs?” Cid asked amazed.

  “Can’t everyone?” Mia lied and winked at Murphy. Ted caught on next to her fib and squeezed her hand affectionately.

  The wheels touched down on the runway, and Murphy was overjoyed as the pilot brought the jet comfortably down the runway and smoothly over to the taxiway. As they waited to disembark, Mia counted her blessings.

  Chapter Thirty-one

  The hot water felt good as Mia washed her hair for the
second time. She couldn’t put the thought of lice out of her mind. “Thanks a lot, Roumain.”

  “If he’s there in the shower with you, we’re going to have to talk about boundaries,” Ted said as he opened the door. “Want me to wash your back?”

  “Sure, but we’re not going to make the museum on time,” Mia warned and looked at him with a lecherous leer.

  Ted weighed responsibility against how good Mia had felt in his arms last night and got in the shower.

  Audrey and Burt wandered into the farmer’s market. Murphy kept an eye on the couple as he nosed around. He was amazed at the array of vegetables and berry preserves.

  “What is it we’re looking for again?” Burt asked as they approached a stall selling herbs.

  “Thyme, in plant form if possible. It has…” she went on to describe what the plant looked like.

  Together they moved along the display. Occasionally they bumped hands, and at one point, Burt got up the courage and grabbed Audrey’s and held on to it. Audrey acted as if they had been holding hands for years, but inside she was doing backflips.

  “Can I help you?” An older woman approached them.

  “I’m,” Audrey said and corrected quickly, “We’re looking for a thyme plant, preferably mature.”

  The woman smiled and directed them to where she had some hanging plants. “We don’t normally sell too many of these, so I like to spruce them up and give them an urban appeal,” she explained.

  Audrey looked at the long leaf-covered soft sticks and with permission broke off a twig and held it to her nose. Thyme had a distinct aroma, and as she pinched off a leaf and put it in her mouth, she confirmed that it was what Mia had requested. “We’ll take it.”

  Burt held the plant while they made their way through the stalls, stopping now and again to ogle over a pastry or a craft. He was conscious of the time and wished that they had nowhere to be on this fine, late summer morning.

  “We’ll have to come back one day,” Audrey said as they left the confines of the outdoor market.

  “”That would be nice.”

  “Although you must be bored, considering you come from Kansas.”

  “We didn’t all grow up on farms, Audrey, just Mike,” Burt explained.

  “Didn’t you have lots of farmer’s markets there, even in the cities?”

  “Well yes, but none of them had you,” he said honestly.

  Audrey blushed and slipped her hand through the crook of Burt’s elbow.

  Murphy grinned watching the couple ahead of him. They seemed, as his mother would say, well suited. Audrey was a better match for Burt than the temperamental Mia. Murphy liked Burt but not his pigheadedness and… He stopped. Mia said he was pigheaded. Perhaps Cid was right when he explained that people instinctually pointed out the flaws in others that they shared themselves. Another lesson learned.

  Cid tried not to think about what was taking Ted and Mia so long. He had vacated the suite and sat in a large comfy chair in the lobby. From his vantage point he could see the elevators and the front door. He tried not to fuss with the bandage Mia had applied before she took her shower. She told him it itched because it was healing. She also added that if there was a scar, it would make his face more interesting, and she was sorry he earned it because of her.

  “I’ll wear it as a badge of honor, m’lady,” he had said, meaning it. He remembered the tender look in her eyes when their glances met in the bathroom mirror.

  “I’m very fortunate to have so many knights,” Mia had said before she walked away.

  Movement at the front door and elevator broke Cid from his reminiscences. Burt and Audrey came in. Cid rose to greet them. A soft tone announced the elevator, and Mia and Ted strode out. Ted had that I just got lucky look on his face. Even when he was silent, he couldn’t help broadcasting his good fortune. Mia smiled at the group and accepted the plant from Burt. She looked over it and smiled. She then looked around them and nodded. Cid figured mother hen Mia was making sure Murphy made it back safely to the hotel.

  Cid’s phone vibrated. He looked at the text and cleared his voice announcing, “Mike is five minutes away.”

  Bernard had the foresight to have the under construction partitions moved around the exhibit. He had arrived early to find the borrowed spears neatly stacked on top of his desk. Judy had scrawled a thank you for the loan and informed him they had washed the poison off but to handle them with gloves just the same. He liked the confidence the woman had. He would hire her in a heartbeat if she ever wanted to join the world of the worker bees. Ralph was nursing a whopper of a hangover and was begging some coffee off the café workers. “Don’t make me go down to McDonalds! The stairs hurt my head.”

  Mia, leading the team of paranormal investigators, walked in carrying a plant. Ted waved at Bernard. Ted’s boyish enthusiasm and adoration of Bernard’s goddaughter made him a favorite son. He had watched as Mia’s indifference had turned into love when she woke up and realized what she wanted in a mate. With this, she had softened and let go of the tremendous chip she had been carrying on her shoulder most of her young life.

  “We’re all set. In here please,” he directed the group. “Ralph will be along with an urn of coffee and, I suspect, a pastry tray.”

  “Is it still alright to set up a camera?” Mia asked, looking at her godfather.

  “Right next to ours,” he said slyly. “You don’t think I would let the Field Museum miss an opportunity to see a zombie cured.”

  “Technically, he isn’t a zombie,” Amanda corrected. “He’s been mislabeled like half the…”

  “Amanda, what did we talk about?” Charles scolded.

  Mia looked over at the couple. She was surprised to see Amanda there. Her father couldn’t be kept away, but Amanda?

  “What are you staring at?” Amanda scowled. “I’m beginning to agree with Ralph; you do need some lessons on deportment.”

  Mia tried to hide the happiness she felt by the attention her mother was giving her. Her eyes danced, but she managed to keep the corners of her mouth down. “Sorry, Amanda, I was just surprised.”

  “I know it’s not in my field, but I thought about the article I could sell to the News of the World or The Daily Mail and…”

  Mia listened while Amanda laid out her plans to abandon academic writing and concentrate on the paranormal. “I looked into it, and people will believe just about anything as long as it’s in print,” she finished.

  “I wish you luck. I may have a few stories for you to look into,” Mia offered.

  Charles looked on proudly. Both of his girls were making an attempt to connect. Mia still bristled at the sound of her mother’s voice, and Amanda had years of selfishness to unlearn, but it was a start.

  He spotted Murphy moving around the exhibit. He seemed to be more worried about what lay the next hall over than what they were going to attempt to do to his friend.

  “Bad juju,” he said, pointing to the Ancient Americas.

  “Are those the entities who attacked Mia?” Charles asked.

  Murphy nodded.

  “They may be a little riled. I understand that that’s where Ed borrowed the spears. We should keep an eye out just in case they get curious,” Charles advised.

  “Yes.”

  Mia saw that the front glass panels had been removed and set aside. She thought kindly of Clara the cleaner who would lovingly bring the glass back to transparency, wiping away the smudges and fingerprints when they were through. She set the thyme on the long table and began to pinch off long strands of the herb. She glanced over at the still preserved body lying on top of the stone vault where it had been found eighty years ago. Mia judged it was about the height, more or less, of Audrey. She pinched off several more strands and asked Audrey to come over.

  “Could you assist me with this? I’m way out of my depth here. I only have vague instructions from Judge Roumain. I’m assuming the medallion has to rest over where the heart was.” Mia tapped her chest. “This is where Ted s
aid Henri dug it out of.”

  Audrey walked over and into the display. She ran her hand over the place Mia described and didn’t see any tears or marks to indicate the exact spot. She came back, unaware that Henri was stirring. The warm touch of her hand, the compassion that flowed out of her every pore, energized him.

  Mia wove a braid and waited for Ted to give her the medallion. He walked over and pulled it from his shirt pocket. He unwrapped the handkerchief and put it in her hand cautioning, “It’s still warm.”

  “Perhaps it’s energy,” Mia guessed as she drew a measure of the braid through the hole the lightning caused. She held it up in front of Audrey to satisfy that she had the right amount of braid. “I’m ready.”

  Mike announced to the cameras what was being attempted. He was reverent but could not hold the excitement out of his voice. Burt focused on Mia as she climbed into the display. “Dad, Audrey, could I have your help?” Mia asked. She was performing on instinct now. “I will put this around Henri’s neck. Dad, you tie the first knot and say Death as you tie it. Careful, the thyme is drying out,” she warned. “Audrey, you tie the second knot saying Life. Say what you feel, go with your heart, but make sure you say Life,” Mia instructed.

  Audrey nodded her head.

  Mia took a deep breath and crawled up the side of the vault. As she reached around the neck of the fragile artifact, she said, “Henri, your eternal sleep has been interrupted. With your permission, I would like to bring you to peace. Judge Roumain will be waiting for you to guide you to your next adventure. Thank you for your service to Stephen Murphy, PEEPs and me. You are a noble man, a chevalier.” Mia felt him move beneath her hand. She quickly stepped aside and nodded to Charles.

  He reached over and drew the two ends of the braid together. As he formed the first knot he said, “This knot signifies your death.” He got down and assisted Audrey up to Henri.

  “This represents the life that was forced on you.” She felt a hand grasp hers a moment but saw no such movement from the body.