The Adorned
Page 17
Chapter
14
Apathy
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“Well…”
I said as calmly as possible, “I am going to go; I’m a bit eager to see what my LCP is.” I said: I was lying of course, but I had to give an excuse to leave, I couldn’t bear seeing Amy act like this.
I stood up. She remained silent, like a statue; just her supple breathing making her look alive.
“Bye Sam.” She said blandly, she didn’t even look up at me.
I locked my jaw, angry, agonized, feeling this smoldering pain embrace my heart, causing an uncanny numbness to swell. I had to force the word out.
“Bye.” I replied.
I left without saying a word to Ms. Johnson or Ms. William. I needed time to think: time to see this through, because I was afraid that I’ll never see Amy again after this year was over.
In one of the stories she read me, the moral was: Nothing lasts forever; but could this be true in real life, does nothing really last forever? It hurt just thinking about it, my stomach was more nauseous than before, and I couldn’t stand the thought of it.
What about love, isn’t that supposed to last forever, or does it wilt away like a lavish red rose, as each pedal falls, so does its strength. I wasn’t even too sure what love was, I wasn’t too sure if the feelings I felt for Ms. William and Amy was love.
I looked back at the flower I gave Amy last year, what kind of act was that? I thought again, what made me incline to give her that flower?
I didn’t know, and it was hard for me to think in detail. Perhaps the medicine was wearing thin and this cloaking numbness brought bitterness, apathy, a suppressing guilt, and aggravation.
The aggravation was brought from my disappointment, I was so eager to talk to Amy about this Outside World, I didn’t get to talk to her about my calendar. I had two things on my mind: The LCP and Amy.
I breathed heavily, my hands quivered. I didn’t know what was going on with me. My heart felt tortured by this unusual feeling that I couldn’t seem to grasp a hold of… Amy’s bitter attitude ripped me to shreds.
I stepped off the sidewalk and made my way across this barren field of perfectly cut grass that stretched far beyond my eyes could see. I tucked my hands in my pocket, kept my eyes glued to the ground, and continued on, without direction, not knowing where I was going or what I was looking for.
The breeze felt constant, the air pristine and cool to my lungs, sky bleached with the sun’s orangey aurora.
A gurgling stream caught my attention. I moved closer to the riverbed and sat on the moist and prickly grass. I curled and wrapped my hands around my legs, rocking myself, thinking; thinking of what it’ll be like next year when Amy’s gone.
I sat there for quite some time, letting the river’s melody sooth my tired mind, feeling the cool floating particles of mist touch my face: it was so calming.
All of a sudden it hit me, I was here, witnessing a beauty of nature that I’ve only seen in photographs, a river.
I crawled to the edge and stared down into the rushing waters, hearing it whoosh and splash against the brown edges of the riverbed, watching the sun's shine touch the water particles and making it look like mists of golden pollen. It was magnificent, breathtaking; a fabulous work of nature’s refined art.
When I got home Ms. William was sitting on her desk peacefully reading a book.
“Welcome home honey,” she said “How was your day?”
I frowned, “It was ok,” I said absentmindedly, it wasn’t the most exciting day, but just witnessing that river was more than enough to make me happy.
“Don’t sound so enthused!” She replied sarcastically.
I smirked.
“Anyways, your LCP is sitting on the table.”
I had trouble swallowing as I took sight of the big thin white envelope resting soundly on the table.
“Have you opened it?”
“Of course not…”
I went and grabbed the envelope; tore the seal, and pulled a sheet of paper from it.
//L.C.P\
Life Career Placement
Statement Information Classified
ID: 00954668216
Congratulations: may your future shine brightly as you take your first step to achieve academic greatness. After your third year of Educational Compromise we’ve set a Class: A College Administration.
Dear Sam,
You’ve been invited by the Higher Authority to take up an extraordinary position: Job Code: Classified
Four Year Program Title: Classified
Information Pertaining Job: Classified
Courses to be taken: Classified
Due to the Higher Authority’s restraints; information concerning the Job’s Requirements, Academic Cycle, and Courses, are to be told in person, we apologize if this brings up any inconvenience.
Thank You
Sincerely
President: Claudius R. Roman
Pre President: Leonardo C. Sinclair
This nostalgia crippled me for a second. I stared at this LCP statement as though I’ve witnessed myself doing this very action. I wasn’t able to entirely focus correctly, I couldn’t even think properly…
“And the verdict is?” Ms. William said eagerly awaiting my reply.
“Um, it doesn’t say anything.” I replied.
Ms. William set her reading glasses on the desk and walked up to me; willingly I handed her the piece of paper before she asked for it. She examined its content, her face making awkward gestures and facial expressions.
“So?” I said after a long period of unfathomable silence.
She shrugged, “Apparently your future is Classified!”
“And what does that mean?” I asked calmly, trying my best to hold back this radiating aggravation.
“I don’t entirely know,” she giggled: that made me even angrier.
I sighed, “Ms. William I’ll be right back in a bit, I need to take a nap.”
I entered my room, shut the door loudly behind me; fell on the bed and buried my head beneath my pillow.
“Sam,” said Jane’s voice, “It’s time for your medicine.” She informed me, her voice slightly muffled.
I groaned as I pulled the pillow off my head, dropped it on the ground, and turned towards Jane. The hatch on the wall was already open, my pills and glass of water waiting for me.
I staggered and took the medicine forcefully; wasn’t really in the mood, but if it would help my concentration then why not.
My conscious felt deprived, I felt this gnawing disappointment that my LCP so happens to be classified: could there be some troublesome reason to be so?
The pills hit my system rapidly; it sent me in a brawl of thoughts ranging from Amy’s robust attitude to my unexpected birthday party that no one seems to mention.
Displeased, I again ignored my unopened presents, left the room and went to the kitchen. Ms. William was back on her book again; the kitchen dim, and an unusually pleasant fragrance caught my absentminded attention.
“Quite a nap Sam!” Ms. William said.
I chuckled and shook my head, “Sure.” I answered.
“Want me to fix you a bite to eat?”
“No I am not hungry”
“Took your medicine?” She asked immediately without letting me finish.
I nodded.
“Good, well I will fix you something nevertheless; it’s important to have food in your stomach to allow the medicine its full effect.” She said petulantly.
I sighed, “Wonderful...”
She set the book down and moved to the kitchen; the lights brightened, “What do you want sweetie?”
“I don’t know, anything.”
“Honey roasted chicken nuggets?” She asked.
“I guess… that sounds nice.” I frowned.
That night I had a wild dream; it opened with me walking through a set of double doors: not the normal automatic ones, but these were real
wooden, with authentic designs engraved all throughout its beautiful redwood surface.
As I moved pass the doors I noticed a series of aligned rows of long wooden pews that went on until it reached the pulpit. The high ceiling was had streaks of sunshine passing through the many stained-glass windows stretching from one end to another.
I made my way down the aisle, benches inhabited by blurred faces, it seemed as though all the faceless blurs were following my every step.
I had trouble gulping air, my face turned scarlet, and I felt trickles of sweat bleeding down my forehead. As calmly as possible I made my way down until I found an empty spot.
There was a short gentleman on the pulpit, pacing left and right, his long tranquil pale hair stretching down his shoulders; bushy stiff beard dangled down to his chest. He dressed as Oliver did; that silky white robe that glazed like the coating of ice and that affirmed serenity embracing his invisible aurora. He captivated me.
Without long he stopped; faced the audience and spoke.
“A jaded fade of unrighteousness wrought my perception; perseverance a standard I viewed as wise was brought down to the slumps; I’ve seen things, things that were true, but it all changed when I found out what truth was all about. Bent, illusive, a way to entertain: a mask; to make believe, to destroy lives; that’s what truth is all about.
“And then the lie; the buoyant irresistible reality that shapes the bearer into the anticlimactic: forth the forked tongue to emasculate the host; paint a false painting; retract what was right and entangle with the wrong…”
His soothe voice echoed throughout the chapel effortlessly. I felt attuned to his words; they were slowly taking me in like a majestic orchestra of violin’s playing a paranoiac melody to close the final score.
“To will, to sacrifice: to touch… to sin, to taste; to fall astray,” his sight suddenly caught sight of me, the light cool, almost fake, blue eyes staring down at me, he grimaced, “Intolerance, to abide by law… ever heard of the man who begged for his life, begged for this piece of nature that will rot away like the autumn leaves?” He chuckled, “Time has taken us and shaped us effectively, we’ve grown by chance, and to give thanks to all that’s been given to us…”
The many blurred faces lifted from their feet and began to give a round of applause.
From there I did something I would have never saw myself do, from this thick raincoat I wore; I dug into my right jacket pocket and tightly grasped what felt like the bud of a handgun: I gently clicked the safety off, noiselessly released it from its holster; aimed, and fired.
I woke up with a yelp. This unnatural wistful feeling enveloped my mind with a regretting pain of guilt; I didn’t know what to think. Who could have said that? My concentration was inattentive; I couldn’t think properly. I shut my eyes to embrace the cold black behind my eyelids… the restful, cool… shade, to hide…
I opened my eyes to see the warm golden rays of sunlight cut through the creases of the window blinds; my face felt sticky, I’d broken in sweats and my entire body shivered hysterically. I stared blankly at the ceiling, my teeth gritting viciously as I tried to force myself to quit shaking.
I tried to collect myself; my eyes were shedding tears; I rolled off the bed, laid flat on the soft cottony carpet, and just thought relentlessly about Amy.
“Sam,” Jane said, “It’s time for your medicine.”
Her typical thing she always informs me about, strangely enough; no annoying alarm was going off.
I groaned, “Jane, why isn’t the alarm going off?” I asked a bit mystified my eyes deliberately examining the clock.
“Because today is Saturday, Sam; no class today.”
I shrugged, “And since when did class not meet on Saturdays, Jane?”
“I thought Ms. William informed you Sam. From now on: classes will only be Monday through Friday; giving Saturday and Sunday off.” Jane explained.
I felt shocked.
Ms. William walked into the room; her face bland and eyes half-open. I assume she had a long night, and I wondered doing what.
“Sam dear,” she yawned, “There’s no class today.” She said, a tad too late, but at least her message finally came through. Without another murmur she left. Apparently there wasn’t any work either.
I was wide-awake, fervent: the weird dream and this unexpected No School news left me dazzled and excited in a way. Still, I was pondering about what a radical change has surprisingly occurred so unexpectedly. I winced.
I took my medicine, hastily went into my closet pulled out a long cobalt sleeved shirt and a pair of pretty worked long jeans. Ran into the bathroom, did my affair of activities, brush my teeth, took a shower, and then hair half-soaked and slightly dripping down my face, went to the kitchen; took down a glass of orange juice, and left.
I made my way down the sidewalk towards the gate until Ms. William came hollering out of the house.
“Sam where are you going?” She bellowed.
I rose an eyebrow a bit startled, “Going to visit Amy”
“What for?” She sporadically added, cutting me off with a hissy voice.
I stared at her; she seemed more serious than normal; as though changed in a way, “Uh just to go see her?”
That was all I could say, I didn’t have no just answer to quench her random motherly-moment there.
“Well you won’t be able to go see her today sweetie; we’re both heading to go check on this LCP Document…”
“Why?” I harshly replied, “You saw it clearly on the piece of paper it says: Classified.”
She gave me an angry face as she crossed her arms, “Show respect Sam, I’m your caretaker and I am the one who is in control; I’m giving you more than enough freedom to go see Amy and Amber whenever you wish, but today we’re going to go inform the council of this… your LCP situation.”
I didn’t understand Ms. William burst of tentativeness.
I took a deep breath.
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