by Meghan Quinn
He wanted her to be his little side kick, be at his beck and call and she didn’t think she could do that, especially after witnessing what happened today. He didn’t even realize she was gone until he was done with his fans. He didn’t text her until a half hour after she got back to her place. The thought made her sick to her stomach.
She heard his heavy breathing and knew he fell asleep. She didn’t want to be held by him right now, she wanted to be by herself so she could think everything through. Could she really live the life Jake was handed? Would he soon forget she even existed? The thought of him ignoring her again like he did today made tears fall from her eyes. Maybe today was a blessing. Maybe today was the rude awakening she needed, the swift kick in the ass her coach and others were trying to give her.
Could she really give up Jake and all the certainty she was looking forward to? With Jake she knew she would be taken care of and she wouldn’t have to fend for herself. She could rely on Jake for anything. But did she want that? Would he actually be there for her like she needed him to because he wasn’t there today. The minute he had all the attention he completely forgot about her. It would only get worse, she thought. The attention would only get stronger, he would be hounded by more women trying to throw themselves at him while he was on away trips and she would sit at home, alone with nothing to do but plan out the next meal to serve him when he got home.
Where had she gone wrong? She shook her head as more tears fell. She let herself get so wrapped up in a man that she lost herself. Not that she ever knew who she really was but Jake should have tried to help her establish that definition, instead he hindered her ability to focus on herself and made her into his little tag-a-long.
He rubbed the bare side of her belly and snuggled even closer if that was possible. Lexi silently cried herself to sleep wondering how she was going to even begin to talk about her feelings with Jake and if he would even care about the emotional battle her brain was currently going through.
***
Feeling amazing, Jake walked into the locker. He slipped out of bed as quietly as possible so he wouldn’t disturb Lexi in case she still had a headache. Now that his future was set, he was going to propose to Lexi. He had the ring picked out, now he just needed to go pay for it.
He couldn’t believe his luck when the Thunder drafted him. It was his number one pick and apparently he was there’s. He wished he had his parents with him to celebrate, they would be so proud but he had a great support system in place and he had Lexi. That was all that mattered.
Thinking about his parents, Jake knew they would have loved Lexi, they would have loved everything about her from her spirit to her sweetness to her ability to put him in his place when he was being a smartass. He was upset they never got to meet her but he knew they would approve of his hopefully soon to be wife.
Jake was going to take Lexi out tonight to celebrate their new life since they didn’t get a chance yesterday. He felt bad that she wasn’t feeling well, it made his stomach twist in a knot when she wasn’t her normal self. He thrived on her ability to lighten the room whenever she was around him. He thought about proposing tonight but he really wanted the ring when he did it. He didn’t want to give her an I.O.U.
Jake was tying up his sneakers when Mason walked in the room and stopped dead in his tracks and gave Jake a painful look. Jake sat up and asked, “What’s wrong with you?”
There should be no painful look on Mason’s face, especially since he was drafted by the Denver Stallions. It was sad that they were no longer going to be playing with each other but Jake was damn proud of his friend. Mason was going to have to work hard to earn his spot on the team but Jake had no doubt in his mind that Mason was going to make an impact on the Stallion’s offense.
Mason pulled out a rolled up newspaper. “Read the headline today?”
“Does it look like I’m a fifty year old man who wakes up at the crack of dawn to read the newspaper? No, I barely rolled out of bed and kissed my girl bye before getting here.”
“You might want to read it.” Mason tossed him the rolled up newspaper that fell right in front of Jake and unfolded revealing a very disturbing headline and picture. The major headline of the paper was a picture of Jake signing autographs at Lexi’s game and a broken down picture of Lexi after the game. She was sitting in the dugout with her head between her hands. The headline read, “We will see…”.
“What the fuck is this?” Jake asked.
“Just read it man.” Mason went off to the bathroom as Jake sat back in his locker and read the article.
“We will see…”
Jake Taylor, quarterback and center of every girl’s dream at Cal U might be single and ready to mingle in up the coming days. This past weekend, Jake was drafted by our very own San Diego Thunder, something the school is incredibly proud of but not everyone is happy about our home grown hero. After being approached after a victorious three game series against Cal U’s rival, Lexi Knox was less than thrilled about her famous boyfriend’s new career path.
When asked if she watched the draft she simply stated, “I was unable to watch everything go down.” Instead of every other girl, holding their breaths as Jake sat patiently to see what team would pick him up, she was busy playing softball. Can’t hold that against her but the enthusiasm dripping from her words was less than satisfying.
We briefly discussed the similarities in their numbers and what kind of connection it meant, Jake being eight and Lexi being seventeen but she set us straight in our assumptions.
“What do you think I’m some lovesick puppy that my world revolves around the man I’m dating? Well it doesn’t. I have been able to take care of myself and make decisions on my own way before Jake came around, I don’t need him convincing me about what God-for-saken number I slap on my back.” Lexi spat back at us.
It seems like the lovey dovey act the superstar and his girl have been putting on has all been a façade. When asked to comment about their relationship all their friends declined interviews saying Jake and Lexi’s relationship was between them and only them. A typical response whenever asked but now doesn’t it seem a little strange, especially since the tension between the two has been thick enough to cut with a knife.
Lexi was offered a job with Texas as an assistant coach. It was assumed she would be shacking up with Jake after graduation and proposal rumors have also been flying around for the two love birds but when we told her we knew she would be living with Jake after graduation her exact words were, “We will see about that.” Then she stormed off.
Ladies, go get your hair done and your waxes taken care of because Jake Taylor is soon to be free and will need a warm body to fill his cold, cold bed.
*Since the Women’s Softball team won the three games series this past weekend they are one step closer to clinching a spot in the playoffs. Lexi Knox also surpassed the record for all-time collegiate hits in the nation.
Jake sat in his locker staring at the paper when Mason came back into the locker room and sat next to him. They didn’t say anything to each other, they just sat there quietly. The interviewer had to have jumbled her words. There was no way Lexi was turning back on her promise to be with him after college. They loved each other. Jake stood up and tore the newspaper in half.
“Jake, calm down there has to be a reasonable explanation for all this.”
Jake didn’t even look at Mason, he grabbed his keys and headed for his Jeep. He needed to see Lexi. He needed to clear the air. There was no way he could function knowing she might not want to be with him.
When he reached Lexi’s apartment he tore through the doors and noticed she was still in bed. That was odd. She was never in bed this late. He went over to her and that was when he saw her tear stained face. He rolled her over and pulled her into his arms. He sat there and held her until she calmed down from the sobs that were pouring from her mouth.
“Shhh, what’s wrong baby?” She shook her head and didn’t say anything. “Baby, please talk t
o me. I’m scared. I read something in the newspaper this morning and it made me really nervous.” She stiffened in his arms and pulled away.
She frantically wiped away at her face and backed herself up into the corner of her bed. “You read Harry’s article?”
Jake was confused. “When did you read it?”
“I didn’t.”
“Then how do you know what it says?” Jake’s stomach was so twisted up in knots he felt like he was going to puke any second.
“I know what I said.” She whispered.
Completely deflated, he realized at that moment that she wasn’t taken out of context in the article, all the things she was quoted for were true. She actually said them. He just stared at her. He didn’t know what to say. She pulled her knees up to her chest and hugged herself. She didn’t say anything either. The silence between them was deafening.
“Lexi…”
“Please Jake don’t say anything.”
“Well one of us has to say something we just can’t sit here in silence. Talk to me.”
Lexi twisted her hair on her finger, a tendency Jake noticed she did when she was feeling nervous or anxious.
“We need to talk.”
Oh hell no.
“Lexi, please don’t.” She held up her hand.
“Jake, I can’t do this.”
Jake’s heart felt like it was going to pop out of his chest. “Can’t do what? This conversation? It’s ok baby, we can just go grab breakfast…” He tried to get closer but she held out her hand as if she put up a force field.
“No, Jake. I can’t do us.”
She might as well have ripped his heart out of his chest and tossed it to opposing linemen to do what they want with it. This could not be happening. Jake felt his throat close up and he lost all ability to speak any kind of words.
Lexi got out of the bed and paced her room with her hand to her head. She was wearing one of his t-shirts and that was it. The sight of her in front of him squeezed out every last bit of his heart. He couldn’t take the sight of her when she uttered such foul words about their relationship.
“What are you saying, Lex?” He was able to barely whisper.
“I can’t make you happy the way you want me to. I can’t be that perfect little wife that waits around for you while you are off playing games. I need to make something of myself Jake, I don’t want to be like my mom who depended on her man. Look what happened to her.”
Jake stood up in anger and pointed his finger at her. “What did I tell you about comparing me to your dad? I am nowhere even close to that man.”
“You might not be him but the way you try to control my life is what he did to my mom.”
Jake ran his hand over his face in anger and shouted. “How the hell am I controlling your life?”
Lexi looked at him as if he was stupid. “You don’t want me to work, you just want me to stay home and be at your beck and call.”
“I never said I wanted you at my beck and call. I want to be able to provide for you and for you to relax, enjoy life.”
“I don’t need to relax.” She shouted back. “I want to be my own person. I don’t want to live in your shadow.”
“Is that how you see it? That’s a lovely shade of green on you, Lex.”
“Fuck you.” She pushed at his chest but he didn’t move. “Did you even know I broke a huge fucking record yesterday? I made a huge accomplishment yesterday and once you showed up at the field no one gave two shits about what I did.”
“How is that my fault?”
Jake tried to ignore how Lexi’s shirt kept lifting up and down giving him peaks at her underwear when she was flailing her arms about in anger.
“It’s your fault because you should have redirected the attention back to me, at least for a second. I know what you did was greater than what I will ever be able to accomplish sports wise but for once Jake you should have let me have the spotlight. If you loved me you, would have redirected everyone’s attention on what was happening on the field, not off.”
Damn it, she was right. He hated admitting it but she was so God damn right it tore even harder at his chest. How could he have been so naïve? She didn’t get to go on playing the sport she loved like he did, instead she had a couple of games left and every moment in those games mattered and he stole one of the biggest moments of her softball career.
He ran his hand through his hair and blew out an exhausted breath. “Jesus, Lex you’re right. I’m so sorry. I got carried away yesterday and I took something from you I didn’t have the right to take.”
He must have surprised her because Lexi stood there and just stared at him as if she wasn’t expecting him to concede.
“Will you forgive me?” he asked, hoping and praying she would soon fly into his arms and they could move past all this.
She nodded and he felt like crying. He went over to wrap her in his arms but she stopped him. He gave her a questioning glare and she said, “I still can’t do this, Jake.”
“Wait, what? But I said I was sorry.”
“I know, but I can’t be with you. I need to find myself and if you’re with me then I won’t be able to do that.”
“I can help you.” He said with a pathetic pleading tone.
“No Jake, you will only be a hindrance.”
Never in his life was he ever mentioned as being a hindrance. The cruel tone she used was like a slap to the face. He would have actually preferred Lexi’s tiny hand connecting with his face like it had in the past. She wasn’t even yelling at him now, she just looked deflated, hurt and sad. Did he really do this to her? Did he take away all her independence? He thought back to when he first met her and remembered how independent she was but that was just because there really was no one to watch over her, except for Parker. Did Parker say something to her?
“Is this Parker’s idea?” Jake had to ask even though he knew the question might start up World War three, four and five.
“Are you fucking kidding me right now?”
Yup, wrong time to ask that question, he thought. She was yelling again. At least he could deal with the yelling Lexi, the deflated Lexi he had no clue how to handle.
“You’re such dick, you know that? I don’t need a man telling me how to live my life.”
He let out a frustrated growl. “I shouldn’t have said that, I’m sorry. I’m just so frazzled right now. I don’t know what to do. I can’t lose you Lexi, you’re my everything, you make me who I am.”
“No Jake, you made yourself. I had nothing to do with who you are.”
“How can you even say that?” He tried to hold her hands but she rejected his touch. He had never seen her like this, so turned off by him, except for the first night they met but even then he saw a little sparkle in her eyes. “Lexi, I’ve changed so much this year and in a good way. You make me want to be a better man. How can you say you didn’t have any part in that? Please, let’s just sit down and talk this out. We can figure out what you want to do. I’ll help you.”
She just shook her head. She wasn’t even giving him a chance. “No, Jake. I need to do this myself and I can’t have you around when I try to figure things out. I’m sorry.”
He finally was able to take her hands and he put them up to his beating heart, he felt tears prick his eyes. “Please Lex, please don’t do this to me. I need you.”
She looked away from him as tears fell down her eyes. “I’m so sorry.”
“No, baby.”
She pulled her hands out of his grasp and cried into them. “Please go.”
“I can’t. I need to make everything ok.”
“Jake, GO!” she shouted. “I don’t love you anymore. ok. Don’t make this harder than it is.”
Jake’s heart stopped beating from the heinous words that flew out of her mouth. His entire body went numb and anything he was feeling completely vanished. There was nothing anyone could say to him now that could hurt worse. It was as if her words instantly removed his soul.
; “You don’t mean that.”
She looked him dead in the eyes and said, “Yes, I do. Now leave!”
Jake took a step back from the venom that was pouring out of her eyes. This was not the Lexi he loved, this was a confused Lexi that was trying to salvage a life she thought she wanted and nothing he did was going to change that. Jake took one more step back and then turned for her door. He looked over his shoulder as she crumpled to the floor and sobbed. He wanted to go over there and console her but he knew it wouldn’t do anything. Instead, he walked out of her door and out of her life like she wanted.
Chapter 17
Screams vibrated through the apartment as Margo sat in her room and listened to Jake and Lexi yell at each other. Normally listening to them fighting wouldn’t be such a big deal, they had at least one major fight a week so hearing screaming coming from Lexi’s room didn’t faze Margo. What made Margo nervous was how closed off Lexi was when she got home from the game, how she left Jake without celebrating with him and how she didn’t get out of bed this morning to go train like she always did. Something was wrong, something was very wrong.
She went out to the kitchen to grab the bagel she toasted and put some peanut butter on it right when she heard Lexi scream at Jake to leave. Margo cringed from the hateful tone Lexi used. She didn’t want to get caught eavesdropping so she quickly put the peanut butter away and went to grab a drink from the fridge but that was when Jake left Lexi’s room and made eye contact with Margo.