by Meghan Quinn
Lexi looked out on the field and took in all the sights, sounds and smells. Before the game she put some of the dirt from the infield in a bottle for keepsake and laid out in the outfield with Margo, looking up at the sky like they did their freshman year, marveling at the fact that they were going to play softball for Cal U.
The last four years had been a dream come true especially the past year. Finding a man that loved her was something she would never let fall from her mind. She loved Jake, she truly did but she just couldn’t be with him right now.
Lexi was knocked out of her thoughts when the announcer said, “Number seventeen Lexi Knox!” Lexi was escorted out to the field by her mom where she met her coach in the pitcher’s circle. It wasn’t until the game ended and she got out to the pitcher’s circle that she noticed the crowd in the stands and around the fence. It was completely packed and the cheering from the supporters nearly bowled her over.
The right field fence was taken completely up by the football and baseball team, most likely Jake and Parker’s doing and the stands were filled with future Cal U softball players. There were signs with her name plastered against them and chants filling the air. Never in her life had she ever experienced something so wonderful. Her mom was crying next to her and it took all the energy in her body not to break down.
She was finally getting the recognition for her past four years of dedication to her school that she deserved. She soaked up the moment and committed it to memory. The way the warm breeze crossed her face as she looked out at her adoring fans was something she would remember forever. Margo, the only other senior on the team, joined her and they held each other while basking in the cheers.
Margo leaned over and whispered in her ear. “Remember this, girl. This is all for you.”
“You too.” Lexi said while looking up at her.
Margo pointed to a tall, handsome figure standing front and center in the stands and said, “No this is all for you. He did this all for you.”
The man standing in front of her made Lexi’s heart beat so fast that she thought it was going to pop right out of her chest. The photographer made Lexi and Margo stand together while looking out at the field as he took pictures of their back, as well as their front with the crowd. It was a moment she defiantly wanted captured. She turned and looked over at Jake who was cheering and smiling at her. Damn him, Lexi thought. Her heart was already weak, she didn’t need him doing such amazingly sweet things for her.
Once the crowd died down and she hugged pretty much everyone she came across, Lexi took once last look at the field all her blood, sweat and tears were shed on and stepped out of the dugout. She was startled when she saw Jake leaning up against the outside wall, waiting for her.
“Hey.” He said.
“Hey.” Lexi didn’t want him here, she wasn’t strong enough.
“I’m sorry you lost.” Lexi just shrugged and fidgeted with her cleats in her hand. She always put on her slip on sandals after games. “Are you going to the athlete party later this week?” He asked.
“Don’t know yet.” Lexi felt so awkward. He started to come toward her and she froze, she knew she needed to move away but she couldn’t. The draw to him was too powerful.
He wrapped his hands around her waist and pulled her in close to him. “Damn. I miss you so much.” Lexi didn’t know what to say so she stayed silent. He gave her a big hug and kissed the top of her head. She didn’t respond but she didn’t pull away either. “Please say something.” Jake said.
Lexi looked up at him, his eyes were full of hope and she knew she was leading him on. She let him hold her and touch her and that was wrong. She pulled away and said, “Jake, I can’t do this. You know that. I’m sorry.”
She started to walk away but he stopped her. “Lexi, please talk to me. I want to fix this.”
“That’s the problem. Jake. You always want to be the solution. Well I don’t want that. I want to do this on my own.”
Jake ran a hand over his face. “But being in a relationship means helping each other out. Please Lexi, let me help you.”
Lexi shook her head. “No, Jake.” She continued to walk away from him but turned around real quick and spread her arms out. “Thank you for everything today. It was truly magical.” He looked so sad and depressed. “I’m sorry, Jake. I’m sorry I’m being so awful to you. You deserve better and I’m sure you will find that special person someday.”
“I already did.” He said while she was walking away. “And she keeps choosing to walk away from me. This isn’t over Lexi, not by a long shot.”
Lexi didn’t stop to listen to the rest of his speech, she kept propelling her legs forward, as far away from Jake as possible. She was way too weak where Jake was concerned. He was perfect in every way but that was not what she needed. In order to even be good enough for Jake, she needed to find out who she was first, then if he already wasn’t with someone, then she could fully give herself over to Jake; mind, body and soul.
***
Margo pulled on her short denim skirt and paired it with a deep blue halter top and strappy wedges. It was the last party of the year and Margo wanted to go out in style. Some people had been drinking all day, starting at nine in the morning and were still at it. Margo wanted to stay classy so she waited until the party. She talked to Lexi all week about going to the party but kept getting turned down.
They moved into their new place, well Margo’s new place where Lexi was a temporary guest. Margo didn’t mind having Lexi stay with her, it was actually kind of nice since Lexi could help Margo ease into a new place. Starting next week they both would be reporting to the shelter to start work, Margo more on the business side and Lexi on the day to day operations. Margo wasn’t sure how happy Lexi actually was about the whole job situation but she did know she was grateful for the opportunity.
Jake called Margo a couple of times during the week asking if Lexi was going to be at the party, sadly she had to keep telling him no. He was going to start training soon with the Thunder so he wouldn’t be seeing Lexi around campus anymore, Margo felt awful. She didn’t know what to do, she wanted to help Jake and snap Lexi out of the funk she was in but she also didn’t want to push Lexi too much. She was determined and Margo didn’t really want to get in the way of that.
There was a knock on her door that had Margo turning around to see that Parker let himself in. He looked way too good, he should be illegal. He wore tight fitting jeans, a button up grey shirt and black vest as if he just jumped out of a Justin Timberlake video. Margo tried not to stare but she couldn’t help herself, he was gorgeous.
“Hey, beautiful.” Parker leaned down and kissed Margo on the cheek. She inhaled the sweet scent of his cologne and committed it to memory. He was going to Atlanta for baseball and he would be leaving soon to get settled even though the baseball season just started. Everything was changing and Margo wasn’t sure if she would be able to handle it.
The horribly embarrassing moment they shared outside the coffee house, where Margo confessed her feelings for Parker was never brought up again. Margo was grateful because she didn’t know how she would react if Parker asked her about her confession. Her confession was put to rest, thankfully.
“Hey, Parker. You look good.” She said with a smile.
“Speak for yourself. I’m going to need to behave myself.”
Margo giggled and thought to herself if only he wouldn’t behave himself, this one time. She grabbed her purse, threw some lip gloss in it as well as her camera and phone and turned toward Parker.
“You ready?” She asked. Parker was giving her a ride so she didn’t have to get a taxi later. Parker said he would be the designated driver since he was trying to prepare for his upcoming move.
“Where’s Lexi?” Parker asked looking around the living room when they were heading for the front door. Margo peaked around the apartment and saw no traces of Lexi anywhere.
“I have no clue where she is.”
Parker wiggled his eyebrow
s. “Oh I might know where she is. I bet she is with Jake right now making up for lost time.” Parker was grinning like a fool.
“No, that’s not going to happen. Believe me. I don’t know where she is. Let me send her a text to make sure she is ok.”
Margo: Hey, where are you?
Parker led Margo out the door by placing his hand at the small of her back. The feel of his strong grip against her skin made Margo’s toes curl. Why did she have to be so attracted to Parker? It wasn’t fair. Margo’s phone beeped, startling her. She looked at a text she received from Lexi.
Lexi: At the party, you and Parker ever going to make it?
Margo stared at her phone confused and then looked up at Parker who was matching her confusion. “She’s already at the party which is so weird because I don’t even remember hearing her get ready.”
Parker shrugged and pulled the car door open for Margo. “Maybe she really did end up going with Jake.”
“I guess there is only one way to find out.”
Parker closed her door and walked around the back to his side. Margo would miss this, the precious time she spent alone with Parker. Even though Lexi was acting weird, Margo was not going to let Lexi get to her and ruin this night. No, Lexi drama was going to be non-existent and Margo was going to enjoy the time she had with Parker, what little time she had left.
When Parker pulled up to the infamous football house for their last party, Margo felt more than nostalgic. The football house was where she first met Parker. Lexi was already friends with him from one of her classes but introduced Parker to Margo at the football house. One of the only parties Lexi actually attended her freshman year. After the catastrophe in the kitchen with beer spilling down the front of Lexi’s shirt, Lexi wasn’t too keen on going to parties after that. Margo couldn’t blame her.
They both got out of Parker’s car and walked to the back porch like usual. Margo instantly spotted Jake and he didn’t look happy at all. He actually looked like steam was coming out of his ears and he was about to murder someone. The grip he had on his beer could possibly break the bottle if he held on to it any tighter.
Margo nudged him with her hip and asked, “Hey, what’s going on?”
Jake looked up at her and frowned. He took a sip from his beer and nodded over where the beer pong tables were. Margo could barely believe what she was seeing. Lexi was at the party, playing beer pong with Marcus from the baseball team. Margo couldn’t help but notice how good looking Marcus was. He was the right fielder and was also graduating but he didn’t have ambitions of going pro like Parker, he had a job lined up in advertisement for some big firm in San Diego. Margo watched as Lexi was smiling as if there wasn’t a care in the world. She had no clue what was going on, was Lexi trying to make Jake smash Marcus’ head into a brick wall?
Parker just came back from getting beers and asked, “What are we looking at?” He must have spotted Lexi because he muttered, “Oh shit” under his breath.
Margo took a seat next to Jake and pulled his attention away from the game that was going on. “Jake, don’t look over there.”
“How can I not?” He nearly spit all over Margo from pure rage. “That is my girl over there playing with another guy. How the hell am I supposed to look away from that?”
Margo let out a deep sigh. “She is not your girl anymore, Jake.”
Wrong sentence, Margo thought instantly because the fire pouring out of Jake’s eyes nearly singed off every last hair on her body.
He pointed his finger and beer at Margo while he spoke. “Don’t you fucking dare tell me she’s not my girl.” Jake ran his hand over his face and this time when Margo looked at him he didn’t look pissed, he looked defeated, sad, as if he was giving up on life. “I just don’t get it.” He said. “What did I do that was so wrong? I wanted to take care of her. I wanted to provide anything for her that she wanted. Any girl would want that…besides the one girl I can’t have.”
Margo’s heart ripped apart for him, she felt so terrible. She hated seeing Jake like this. He was always the fun, out-going guy at parties, not the depressed guy who sat in the corner sulking while everyone else had fun.
Margo grabbed Jake’s hand and squeezed it. “Listen, you did nothing wrong, not really at least. She just needs to show her independence, you can thank her parents for that. Give her time, Jake.”
Jake shook his head. “I don’t know if I can.” Lexi took that moment to let out a burst of laughter that snapped Jake’s head up and brought back the fury Margo saw when she first sat down. She didn’t like how this night was already starting out and she knew it wasn’t about to get any better. She just hoped that Marcus would be able to walk out of the party alive.
***
Jake couldn’t be outside anymore, that was why he found himself staring into a fridge full of beer and not making a move to grab one. He was letting the cold air cool down his raging temper. How could she do this to him? What was she trying to prove by showing up with someone else? Whatever she was doing, she was doing a good job at hitting Jake right where it hurt.
He didn’t think when he begged and pleaded to have Margo bring Lexi to the party that Lexi would show up with another guy. Margo and Parker seemed just as surprised as he was which was a relief. At least they didn’t know about Lexi being with another guy and were hiding it behind his back. That would have felt even worse. Jake thought he earned a sense of loyalty with Margo and Parker. Yes, their loyalty shifted a little more toward Lexi but at least they both had been very honest with him during the whole catastrophe of his break up with Lexi.
A small hand started climbing up Jake’s back under his shirt and he snapped straight up and slammed the door shut. He turned around hoping to see his favorite set of blue eyes but instead fell short in a pair of brown. One of the freshmen from the basketball team was trying to get close to him, too close. He couldn’t remember her name, she hit on him a couple of times but once news broke out that Lexi and him were a couple, she backed off. Apparently she was back on the prowl.
“Come be my partner at the beer pong table…please.”
She made a pouty lip that always made Jake angry. Why did women think they could look like a child and get whatever they wanted? Jake was in no mood to play around with the slut in front of him but then again, who was she planning on playing beer pong against?
“Who’s playing?”
A huge grin broke out across her face. “Oh you know, Lexi and Marcus.”
Just as he suspected. Jake didn’t want to play with this girl but playing with her meant being able to get closer to Lexi without looking like a stalker. All he wanted was to find out what was going on with her and Marcus.
“Sure.” He replied. “Let me grab a beer and I’ll meet you out there.”
The girl grinned and sashayed herself out to the back of the house. Jake reached in the fridge and grabbed a beer. He popped off the top and took a very long swig. If he was going to get through the next couple of minutes, he was going to need some liquid encouragement.
When he made his way out back he saw Marcus, Lexi, Margo and Parker all talking, waiting on him to show up. Jake knew Lexi had no clue he was partners with the basketball slut because the look on her face when he saddled up next to his partner was priceless.
Marcus looked up and frowned. “Uh, hey. Didn’t know you two were partners, Jess.” That’s right, her name was Jess, Jake thought.
Jess wrapped her arm around Jake’s waste and squeezed tightly while planting a kiss on his cheek. It took all of Jake’s energy not to wipe the kiss off in front of everyone. He needed to act like he wanted to be there not like he wanted to punt the annoying Jess across the yard.
“It was a surprise to me too.” She said, “But here we are, aren’t we baby?”
She was putting on a show. Jake glanced over at Lexi who was now frowning at him. What was her deal? She was the one who was hanging out with another guy. Out of spite, Jake wrapped an arm around Jess and pulled her in tight cau
sing Lexi to turn away.
Margo piped in. “Hey, why don’t we take this game and give you two a break.” Margo said to Lexi and Marcus.
Marcus looked down at Lexi and whispered something in her ear. She shook her head and he said something else. Jake was seconds away from throwing the table to the side and ripping Marcus’ whispering lips right off his face.
“Uh, we’re going to play.” Lexi said to Margo.
“Are you sure?” Lexi just nodded. “Alright, Parker and I are just going to stand here and watch then.”
Jake knew Margo and Parker had people they wanted to talk to and hang out with but they knew better then to leave Jake alone with lover boy and Lexi.
After many rounds of shooting ping pong balls in to plastic cups, slugging beer and staring Marcus down, each team was down to their final cup. It was Jake’s turn to shoot, if he made this then he would win. Jake wanted to make the shot not only to win the damn game but to show how he was better than Marcus, in so many ways. Jake knew it was stupid because it was a beer pong game but if he could make this shot then in his mind it would seal the deal on all the reasons why he was better than Marcus.
Jake took a deep breath and shot the ball. He watched as it landed safely in the cup and he threw his hands up in celebration. Marcus rolled his eyes and Lexi just looked down at the cup in disbelief. Next thing he knew, Jess had both legs wrapped around his waist and his head in her hands. She planted a huge kiss on his mouth and then started cheering. Jake was so stunned he didn’t know what to do. He glanced over Jess’ shoulder and saw Lexi look at him with the most hurtful look he had ever seen and then she walked away.
Panic wrapped his heart as Jake instantly shimmied Jess off of him and chased after Lexi. He heard Jess scream something at him but he didn’t care what it was, he was going after Lexi. He caught up to her right outside the front yard while she was reaching for her phone. He spun her around and was struck in the heart when he saw tears rolling down her beautiful face.