A Straw Man (The Clay Lion Series Book 3)

by Amalie Jahn

  “Yeah. Of course. Please tell me you found something.”

  He chuckled into the receiver. “Yeah. I actually found more than one something. I found six somethings.”

  A wave of relief washed over me. Jeff had spent over a month searching unsuccessfully through the travel log database for evidence of other babies who no longer existed because their original timelines were altered by time travel. I hoped he’d found the break we were looking for because without other cases to support the cause, I would be forced to expose my own experience.

  “Six!” I cried. “Jeff that’s wonderful news! Were they all viable embryos that were born in their original timelines?”

  “Yes. And none of those children exist today. What’s even better is two of them are exactly what we were hoping to find.”

  I held my breath. “Embryonic destruction?”

  “Yeah. Full-term viable pregnancies the first time around. No baby at all when the traveler returned. A person and then nothing at all.”

  If I could have jumped through the phone to hug him I would have. Although I hated thinking of the children who were never born, it was thrilling to know there were other instances outside my own which could be used to demonstrate why it was illegal for the government to continue funding time travel. Even better was realizing I was no longer obligated to present my own case.

  My only regret was that I couldn’t share my excitement with Nate and the others.

  “Is it safe to email the data to me?” I asked, electrified by the prospect of reading about the children firsthand.

  “I can encrypt the files and send them from an undisclosed account. I’ll keep searching for more, but I thought you’d want to know about these as soon as I found them.”

  “Yes, thanks so much, Jeff. I’ll look out for the files and keep my fingers crossed you find more. Talk to you soon.”

  We ended the call and I couldn’t stop myself from skipping around Nate’s room. I was composing myself to return to the den when I turned around to find him glaring at me from the doorway. I couldn’t imagine why he looked so hurt.

  “Was that him on the phone?” he asked pointedly.

  “Him who?”

  He rolled his eyes in disgust. “Lesley told me about Jeff, Melody. She said you left your phone in her room last week, and she saw you had a bunch of missed calls from some Jeff guy. On top of that she says you haven’t been coming home at night. She hears you sneaking into bed at three in the morning. Is Jeff the reason you’ve been too busy for me all of a sudden?”

  I was taken aback. Nate thought I was seeing someone else. That I was sneaking off to be with Jeff instead of him in the middle of the night. I didn’t know whether to be shocked or flattered, but I knew by the expression on his face that although I couldn’t be completely truthful with him about who Jeff was, I needed to ease his fears about any possible indiscretions.

  “That was Jeff on the phone, and he sort of is the reason, yes, but not in the way you’re thinking. I promise you, there isn’t anything bad going on,” I told him calmly.

  He shut the door and began pacing the length of the room, carefully avoiding eye contact with me. “You really expect me to believe, considering how ‘tired’ and ‘busy’ you’ve been recently, that there’s nothing going on with some guy who’s calling you all the time. It’s awfully coincidental, Melody. I’m not an idiot.”

  For years I had lived under the assumption that Nate didn’t have a single jealous bone in his body. It was kind of nice to know the thought of losing me to someone else bothered him more than a little. I perched myself at the foot of his bed and invited him to sit beside me.

  “Please, Nate. Let me explain.”

  It wasn’t necessary to share all the details of what I’d been discussing with Jeff or about the logistics of the bill, but I wanted to be as honest with him as I could. Lies only tore people apart.

  Nate grunted as he sat beside me, his arms crossed defiantly over his chest. “I’m listening,” he said.

  “Okay,” I began, reaching out to place my hand on his knee, “over winter break I met with Senator Turner about a new bill she’s going to present to Congress later this year. I’m helping her draft the bill and Jeff Armstrong is one of her contacts who’s been supplying me with the research information I need to write it. He has access to files I can’t get to, so when he finds new information, I get a call. That’s it. That’s who he is and why he’s been calling me. As for the late nights, I decided that instead of taking even more time away from you than I already have been to draft the bill, I would continue working on it overnight at the library so I wouldn’t keep anyone else awake. I’m exhausted because I work all day on school assignments and work all night on the bill.” I took his chin in my hand, forcing him to look at me. “I’m really sorry I let the whole thing get out of hand.”

  His expression softened. “This Jeff guy isn’t a student?”

  I brushed his bottom lip with my thumb. “Definitely not. I’ve never even met him. I think he’s old, like in his fifties.”

  “So you’re not running off to be with him when you’re not with me? You’re not staying with him in the middle of the night?”

  I laughed aloud. “No! Does that sound like something I would do? If you don’t believe me you can talk to library security. Mr. Patterson will vouch for me.”

  “No,” he admitted, bowing his head. “I believe you, and I don’t need to talk to Mr. Patterson. Running around with some other guy doesn’t sound at all like something you would do. But it does sound like you to take on more than you can handle and run yourself into the ground. It’s just that you’ve forgotten all about having fun since we’ve been back. I miss having you around, Mel.”

  He was laying it on thick and his guilt trip was working. “I’m sorry. I miss being with you too. I just couldn’t say no to this opportunity and I didn’t know what else to do.” I hated seeing him so sad. “I’ll scale back. I’ll tell her I can’t commit as much time to it,” I blurted out.

  He lifted his face and I couldn’t gauge his expression. “That’s stupid, Mel,” he said. “This is what you want to do with your life. You should write the bill.” He paused, placing his hand on my thigh which sent a burst of electricity through my body. “I’m glad you’re not cheating on me.”

  I crawled into his lap, straddling his torso, and was overwhelmed by the memory of losing him to his addiction. I brought my lips to his, kissing him with a fierceness that caused him to initially recoil. He quickly reconsidered, wrapping me in his loving embrace - a fervent reminder of just how glorious it felt to be alive.

  “You have no idea the lengths I would go to in order to preserve this relationship,” I said after he placed a final kiss tenderly on my forehead. “I would never do anything to jeopardize what we have. Ever. If that means cooling it on the bill, I cool it on the bill.”

  He shrugged. “You don’t have to do that. We’ll figure something out. At least now I know the truth. And I’m sorry I accused you. I should have just asked.”

  I tucked my head into the hollow of his chest. “There’s no reason for you to apologize since I’m the one who should’ve just told you about the project from the beginning. I just wish Lesley had kept her nose out of our business though,” I said, considering her betrayal. If only she had approached me first instead of going straight to Nate with her half-baked theories. “Now that I think about it, I’m actually pretty pissed,” I told him.

  “Don’t be too hard on her. You know how she gets sometimes. Maybe she’s tired of sharing and wants me to herself,” he joked. “She saw this as an opportunity to get you out of the picture.”

  “That’s not funny,” I said. “She would never do that.”

  “You’re right,” he replied seriously. “Maybe she was just trying to be a good friend.”

  I scoffed. “To who? You or me?”

  He shrugged. “You have to admit, it looked kind of bad from where she was standing. She probably just d
idn’t want to have to be the one to confront you.”

  I considered our friends, waiting for us in the other room. They were probably wondering when the fireworks were going to start.

  “I assume they all think I’m a horrible person?” I asked, motioning toward the door.

  He unwound himself from under me and stood up from the bed, reaching out to take my hand.

  “Nah. It’s none of their business anyway. I’ll let them all know it was just a big misunderstanding and leave it at that.”

  We celebrated Chase’s 21st birthday together that night and for a little while I was able to focus on the people in my life who needed me to be present for them. By morning however, memories of the one tiny person who was no longer in my life called me to refocus on what could be done to assure her short life would count for something, and I snuck back to my bill writing before the sun broke the horizon.

  C HAPTER TWENTY EIGHT

  After Valentine’s dinner at our favorite pizza place, Nate and I returned to my room for an MMA fight he was excited to watch on TV. As we sat together on my bed, I fingered the tiny amethyst hanging from a chain around my neck and rehearsed the speech I’d been planning in my head all week. My need to finish the bill was far too great, and as I continued to carve out time to work on it, Nate grew increasingly agitated with my inattentiveness. I knew it would do more harm than good to keep him in the dark about my motivation, and I had decided that perhaps it was time to involve him in the process. My only hope was that I would be able to convince him to help me without telling him about my trip or the changes I’d made to our timeline.

  “Thank you again for the necklace,” I said. “It’s beautiful.”

  “I know how you like purple, so when I saw it, I had to get it. It’s a perfect match for your ring.” He took my hand and twisted the band of gold, a present from my grandmother that was still in my possession – having never been hocked by him to purchase pills.

  My resolve wavered briefly but having him back in my life, clean and sober, only confirmed for me once again that my future was tied to his. We were destined to be together. And because I’d already committed to working with Senator Turner to end time travel, I knew I would never be successful without both his understanding and support with regard to my career aspirations. The only way to assure he wouldn’t feel left out was to make him a part of the project.

  I took a deep, cleansing breath and closed my eyes. “Nate, there’s something I need to talk to you about.”

  He dropped my hand and backed away from me toward the foot of the bed, his eyes wide with feigned distress.

  “Are you running away to join the circus?” he asked.

  I groaned. It was just like him to make light of my attempts at a serious conversation.

  “No. I’m not joining the circus.”

  “A convent then? Are you becoming a nun?”

  “Oh my God, Nate, no! Can you just let me be serious for two seconds?”

  My tone got his attention and he crawled back in my direction, laying his head in my lap. “Whatever it is, I’m all ears,” he said, grinning up at me.

  I looked into his eyes, and saw that below the silliness, there was an intensity conveying the depth of his commitment.

  It made me want to share the truth. There was no turning back.

  “I know how annoyed you’ve been with me recently and you’ve been completely justified in voicing your displeasure. I know I’ve been preoccupied writing this bill for Senator Turner.”

  “No kidding,” he moaned. “We talked about this before. You were gonna tell Turner you had to cut back on the time you were spending on it. Guess you never told her, huh?”

  I traced his earlobe with the tip of my finger. “That’s just the thing. I couldn’t really tell her I don’t have the time because the bill wasn’t actually her idea. It was mine.”

  “Yours? Is it for a class or something?”

  “No. It’s for real. When I approached her about it she offered to present it to Congress for me. I can’t really back out, and the truth is, I don’t really want to. But instead of sneaking away to work on it alone from here on out, I was kind of hoping you might be willing to be my assistant. It’s an unpaid position, of course.”

  He looked bemused. “Okay, future Senator Johnson. I’ll bite. What’s this bill about that has you breaking every rule I ever taught you about taking time for fun?”

  I couldn’t lie to him. I needed him to understand so he would want to work beside me.

  “I’m writing a bill to end time travel.”

  He laughed aloud and sat up, turning back to the MMA match. “That’s a complete waste of your time, Mel. No one’s going to pass that bill. Time travel is a huge deal for the government. It’s an institution.”

  “It’s unconstitutional,” I snapped, disappointed he’d blown me off so easily.

  “What’s unconstitutional about it? Everyone gets their chance if they want it. I just can’t believe you’d rather spin your wheels on a dead-end project like this than hang out with me.” He shrugged. “It’s fine though. Do whatever you want. Just don’t expect me to waste the rest of my semester too. You’re on your own I’m afraid.”

  As much as he didn’t want to admit it, he was hurt. And as much as I didn’t want to share with him the true reason behind my passion for the bill, I knew it might be the only way to make him understand that it wasn’t a matter of me choosing something else over him. I had an obligation to fulfill.

  Beyond convincing him to join me out of a selfish desire to spend time together, I also couldn’t continue lying to him. My father had shown me just how destructive it was to build a relationship on a foundation of lies. I wouldn’t make the same mistake with Nate.

  “Do you remember during our first date when I told you about how my dad lied to my mom all those years about the fact that he was Charlie’s biological father?”

  “Yeah. Of course. Your family talks about it all the time.” He turned his attention from the television. “It’s not some sort of secret is it? Did I say something in front of them I shouldn’t have?”

  Nate was always ready to take responsibility and apologize for his behaviors, even if he wasn’t at fault. It was one of the things I loved most about him but it was also the personality trait that led to his undoing when Sam had died.

  “No. Not at all. It’s just that his lies ended up causing a tidal wave of problems in my family, and we made a commitment to each other after everything came to light that we would never keep secrets from one another again.” I paused, knowing I intended to keep a very big secret from Brooke and Charlie for as long as I was able. I continued, pushing the thought to the back of my mind. “I want it to be the same with us. I don’t want us ever keeping secrets from one another.”

  Nate remained unfazed. “Sounds good. What do you want to know?”

  I placed my hand on his chest. I could feel his heart beating steadily.

  Mine was racing.

  “It’s not you who’s keeping the secret. It’s me.”

  He turned to me with a look that conveyed he’d been waiting for me to disappoint him.

  “What is it, Melody?” he asked solemnly. “On top of all this bill business, what else do you need to tell me about?”

  I was determined not to cry as I told him about taking my trip and the reason behind why I decided to travel back in time. I described everything that happened in the aftermath of Sam’s death in the original timeline - the burden of his guilt, the addiction to hydrocodone, the lying, the stealing, and the end of our relationship.

  He stood up and began pacing the room. I could feel his frustration as he tried to make sense of the bombshell I dropped on him.

  “Why are you telling me all this? I became a junkie? I threw my life away so you swooped in as my hero and fixed everything? Is that it? Do you want me to thank you? Do you want some kind of award?” He stopped beside the bed, towering over me where I remained frozen. “And what the hell
does this have to do with you wanting to stop time travel? It just doesn’t make any sense! You got everything you wanted out of your trip but you don’t think anyone else should have the same chance?”

  He was furious now.

  I’d hoped knowing the part he played in my decision to use my trip would spark his interest in joining me in my crusade against time travel. Unfortunately it had the exact opposite effect. There was only one thing left I could think of which might possibly lure him to my side.

  “I did get what I wanted, Nate. For you to have your future restored. And you’ll never know how happy I am that you’re back to your old self. But because I chose to use my trip, something happened I hadn’t anticipated. Something amazing disappeared from my life when I returned.”

  He glared at me. “Which was what?”

  Once I told him there would be no going back, but I was desperate for him to understand my point of view. I prayed Vicki would be the catalyst.

  “Not a what. A who. Vicki was her name.”

  He threw his hands in the air. “Who the heck is Vicki?”

  “Vicki was Brooke and Charlie’s daughter. But she’s not anymore because when I went back in time she wasn’t conceived. Mikey was conceived instead.”

  He lowered his chin, raking his fingers through his hair.

  “You went back in time to save me and your niece disappeared?”

  I stood up and attempted to fold myself into his arms but he withdrew, backing deliberately away from me.

  I grabbed for his arm. “Yes, but I don’t blame you, Nate…”

  “You went back in time to save me and when you came back your niece was gone?!” he said again, glaring at me from just out of reach. “Are you kidding me? What the heck is wrong with you? What kind of person would tell someone something like that? Like it’s my fault or something!”

  I should have seen his reaction coming.

  “No, Nate! Not at all!” I cried. “This isn’t about you. It’s about me wanting to make sure that no other embryos are ever destroyed by time travel. The only way to do that is to cut off government funding. Please, I want you by my side! I need your support!”