Taming Chaos

by Lynne St. James

  “How about we head over to Ricky’s for pizza and chill for a bit.”

  “Hell yeah, who knows how long it’ll be ‘til we get some of their primo pizza again.”

  Shaking my head at Flame, I swung Eleanor over my head and placed her carefully in her stand. I was still getting used to having roadies take care of our equipment, Snake, Jack, Eric and Mike took good care of our stuff and made sure no one touched anything. Finding them was one of the fuckin’ only things Rod had done right.

  The guys headed out but I grabbed Sweets by the arm. “What’s up?”

  “Nuthin’”

  “Yeah right, I know you better.” She had one of her pissy expressions on, and I hated when she got like this. She’d been fine this morning, so whatever crawled up her ass had happened between then and now. “C’mon this is me. Don’t give me shit, just spill it. Did something happen?”

  “No…yes. I don’t want that bitch on tour with us. I don’t have a good feeling about her. She’s bad karma.”

  For a minute I couldn’t figure out who she was talking about. Then it hit me, she was talking about Cynda. “I don’t want her to come either and I’d fuckin’ hoped she’d say no, but I have to find a way to convince her to use my songs. Since we’re going on the road it doesn’t leave any other option.”

  “I don’t like it. She’s gonna fuck things up for all of us.”

  “No she won’t, that’s part of why I want her with us. She’ll see how we are, and how I come up with the material. It’ll be fine, trust me. Okay?” Sometimes she seemed more like a twelve-year-old than twenty-two. She needed to get over it. We had a long ass tour ahead of us. No way was I going to put up with any of her shit, even if she might have a point about Cynda. The girls were always moody, but they were like our sisters and we’d learned to freakin’ deal with it. I guess I needed to get with Candy later and see if she could talk some sense into her sister.

  “I guess.”

  “C’mon, Jack and Sally will be here later, we need to give them a great show right?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Okay, so let’s get something to eat. You love Ricky’s pizza.”

  She reached up and wrapped her arms around my neck like she had when she was younger, but it had been ages since she’d hugged me. I stopped her arms and held them. It was fuckin’ weird. We were too old for this shit now. The look in her eyes made me wonder, she’d been getting way too clingy and possessive. I’d told her long ago the two of them were like sisters to us, I’d fucking hoped it would keep shit like this from happening. We had a tour to do and it was going to need all my energy for the next year. Wrath had fuckin’ warned me from the beginning, maybe I should have listened.

  “Fine, let’s go eat.” Oh yeah, she was pissed. Well too fuckin’ bad. She needed to get over it.

  I wondered what had fucking caused all this today. Was she fuckin’ jealous because I’d made Cynda come on the tour? It was pretty ballsy of me actually, I didn’t even know if she had a boyfriend or a family or anything. Would he get bent out of shape about her going on tour with us? If she did have a boyfriend it’d solve one of my problems. We were going to lay down tracks for the new album when we got back to New York after the U.S. Tour. If she cut out then maybe they’d drop the whole writer idea all together.

  Who was I kidding, Symmetry wouldn’t back off. They’d decided to hire her or they’d just send someone else. We’re gonna be stuck with her or someone else. I’ll just have to turn on the charm. Fuck. These next two weeks were going to be a real pain in the fucking ass, so much for just enjoying our first tour.

  Sweets pulled the door to Ricky’s Pizza open and the aroma of fresh basil and pepperoni slapped me in the face. My stomach grumbled reminding me I hadn’t eaten anything since breakfast. Following her in to the pizzeria, I was surprised it was so packed on a Thursday night. On my way to our usual table in the back, I was stopped for a few autographs. Lately we’d been recognized more and more, especially around town. All of us had been signing some crazy shit—napkins, hands, even tits—this shit would never get old.

  Sweets pushed ahead and blew me a kiss. I saw Wrath watching me and I shrugged, what could I do? He didn’t look too happy but now wouldn’t be the time to talk about it. That’d have to wait until after tonight’s show. Considering we were starting a new part of our life tomorrow, there seemed to be a lot of crap going on tonight. What the fuck? Were we just all worried about the fucking tour?

  I sat in the chair they’d saved and grabbed a slice of pepperoni pizza, taking a big bite. My stomach growled again and Rage laughed.

  “Shit, bro. Hungry much?”

  “Yeah, I haven’t eaten since breakfast. I was too pissed off earlier. Pass me a beer will ya?”

  Rage poured a glass from the pitcher and put it down in front of me. I reached for the glass but before I could get my hand on it, Sweets grabbed it, stuck her tongue out at me and took a long swallow. What. The. Fuck. I must have looked pissed because Fury arched an eyebrow at me. Yeah so much for staying calm and focused. I guess it wasn’t in the fuckin’ cards for today.

  “What? You got a fucking problem?” I growled at Fury. Was it a fuckin’ full moon or something? Way too much crazy shit was going down.

  Sweets put the glass down and slid her chair away from me. Maybe she was finally getting the hint. No one else said a word. I met Wrath’s eyes as I chewed my pizza and wondered if I’d be able to wait ‘til after the gig to talk to him. Something was definitely up and not just with him. Taking a drink I let the icy cold beer run down my parched throat but instead of being refreshing it turned in my stomach, or maybe it was the pizza. Either way, I needed to get out of there, put some distance between me and everyone else, and try to chill before the gig.

  “I’m going for a walk, I’ll be back soon.”

  “But…” Wrath started to object but I guess the look in my eyes made him back off. I didn’t get like this often but when I did, I needed space and after being together as long as we had, they all knew to leave me alone.

  Chapter Four

  Cynda

  I was finally away from ‘dickman’ thank God. Riding in the limo was cool but having to listen to that pompous ass for the last two hours wasn’t, and all the questions, what was up with that? Who did he think he was asking about my family? It was none of his damn business. I wasn’t his employee, I worked for Symmetry. Shit. I worked for Symmetry. What had I been thinking? Why had I promised mom I’d apply there? How she even knew about the job I have no freakin’ clue, it’s not like they advertised in the paper.

  Locking the door behind me, I felt Sylvester before I saw him. He welcomed me home as soon as I came through the door. It was his standard greeting—rubbing his head against my leg and purring. He’d wait for me to scratch him behind the ears then headed off to the kitchen. I think he missed mom as much as I did, but at least he was always there to greet me when I got home, much better than walking in to an empty apartment.

  “Hi, baby, did you miss me?”

  Purring, he rubbed against me a few more times then took off down the hallway. He had me trained. It was dinnertime, if I didn’t follow him and give him his chow he’d be back in my face.

  “Okay, dude. I’ve got you covered.” Filling his bowl with the dry food he loved, I gave him a couple of treats, which were actually more like kitty crack for him. All he had to do was hear the bag and he’d come running from wherever he was in the apartment.

  Checking my watch, I grabbed the pad from the counter and started making a list of all the things I needed to get done before I left. Top of the list was to call Michelle and see if she’d watch Sylvester for the next two weeks. She was going to give me mega grief and I wasn’t looking forward to it, but I didn’t have any time to waste. I needed to take care of a few other things and pack too. Shit, did I even have clothes to wear ‘on tour’ with a rock band? Crap, add shopping to the list. Good thing I didn’t have to meet them until tomorrow afternoon. />
  Satisfied Sylvester was happy, I grabbed my suitcase and tossed it on the bed. Opening the closet door I looked at my choices—lots of jeans and tshirts, a few dresses and sweaters—total college prep look. Damn. I hated to spend money on stuff I wasn’t going to use but I didn’t see any way around it. I needed a shit ton of new clothes to take with me.

  Since packing was going nowhere I called Michelle to get it over with. Rolling my eyes knowing what I was letting myself in for I dialed her number.

  “Hey, Cyn.”

  “How’s it going?”

  “I haven’t killed anyone yet.”

  I laughed, ever since we’d met freshman year at NYU she’d been able to crack me up even at the worst of times. She was the complete opposite of me. I knew I was too intense most of the time, and she just let shit go. I tried to be more like her but usually it was a huge fail, and if she hadn’t been around when mom died, I don’t know how I would have gotten through it.

  “Good to know. Hey, I have a favor to ask.”

  “Who do you want me to kill?”

  “No one, brat, this is serious. Would you be able to watch Sylvester for me for a couple of weeks?”

  “Umm sure, but why? Where are you going?”

  I cringed knowing what would be coming next. “I have to go out of town for work.”

  “You’re a songwriter. Where could you possibly have to go? Spill it. What aren’t you telling me?”

  Shit, shit, shit. “I told you Symmetry asked me to work with a band to do their album right?”

  “Yeah.”

  “What I didn’t tell you is that it’s Raining Chaos.”

  “Holy shit. No way. You’re so freakin’ lucky. How does this shit happen to you?”

  “I don’t think I’m lucky. Chaos is an ass, and he’s pissed they don’t want to use his songs so he insisted I go on tour with them or he wouldn’t work with me.”

  “So don’t work with him.”

  “It’s not that easy. Besides, if we work together, maybe I can incorporate his songs or some of them into what I give to Symmetry. I don’t know why they’re making me write this album anyway. His songs are great.”

  “So my BFF is going on tour with a rock band. Shit, I want to come.”

  “I was waiting for that. I wish you could go instead. You know how I hate that lifestyle.”

  Michelle was quiet and I knew the wheels were turning in her brain. “Maybe this will be good for you. Maybe you’ll understand your dad better?”

  “What’s to understand? He deserted us because his band and fans were more important than his kid or the woman he supposedly loved.”

  “Girl, you need to let that shit go. You can’t let it rule your whole life. This is a huge opportunity. Your music will be heard all over the world once the album comes out.”

  Sighing, I dropped down onto the bed. “But what do I know about writing heavy metal songs?”

  “Fuck. Do I need to come over there and smack you around? You know every one of their songs by heart. I’ve heard you singing them. Don’t give me that shit.”

  “Okay, whatever. It doesn’t mean I can write it.”

  “You know, if you’d just sing you wouldn’t have to write songs for others to record.”

  “We’ve talked about this. You know how I feel. If it weren’t for that damn promise, I’d be teaching kindergarten right now.”

  I could hear her sigh through the phone. This was an argument she wasn’t going to win, we’d had it too many times and I wasn’t going to back down. I’d give this ‘job’ a try for one year, then I’d get on with my life. “So will you watch Sylvester for me or not?”

  “You know I will. When do you leave?”

  “Tomorrow afternoon. They’re opening for Avenged Sevenfold at the Garden tomorrow night and afterwards we hit the road.”

  “Holy shit, really? Can I come to the show?”

  “Let me see if I can get ahold of dickman and ask.”

  “Dickman?”

  Just thinking about it made me giggle. He was such an ass. “Rod Dixon. He’s Raining Chaos’ manager and from what I’ve seen so far he’s a real dick. He’s also too old to be their manager. They should’ve hired someone younger.”

  “That’s funny, dickman, but when did you become an expert on band managers?”

  “I didn’t but he just seems wrong for them. Anyway, do you want to bring Sylvester to your place or watch him here?” Looking at the clock on the bedside table, I realized it was getting late. “Shit. I need to go shopping. I don’t have anything ‘cool’ enough for a tour.”

  “Oh hell no, you’re not going shopping alone. I’m coming over. You’re going to need help or you’ll buy the same boring shit you always wear.”

  She was right. I’d either buy stuff that was totally boring or totally over the top. I didn’t want to look like a groupie but I needed to look like I at least belonged there. “I was hoping you’d say that, so why aren’t you here yet?”

  “On my way, and I’ll watch him there, he’s always happier in his own house.”

  “Great. See you soon.”

  Lying back on the bed I took off my glasses and rubbed my eyes. Why had I agreed to go? I didn’t want to live that life, even for a few weeks. I hated how it made people forget what should be important and crave the fame. Chaos had been an ass and smelled like booze and it hadn’t even been noon yet.

  Sylvester jumped on the bed and laid down on my stomach doing happy feet on my chest. His purrs were calming and I smiled at my furry friend. I’d miss this quiet time. Thank God it’d only be for two weeks.

  Chapter Five

  Chaos

  As we followed Rod down the long hallway toward the dressing room my gut churned with excitement. Nervous energy coursed through my body making my shoulders tighten up. We were actually here, fucking Madison Square Garden. Holy fucking shit. We’d done it. Who would’ve figured a bunch of kids in foster care could make it. I sure didn’t. The looks on the others faces told me they were in as much awe as me. We were playing the Garden and opening for Avenged Sevenfold. Could it get any better than this? Hell yeah…this was the kickoff to our first worldwide tour, and tonight was the only time we’d be an opening act. Headliners all the way, baby. Fuck yeah.

  Rod stopped at one of the doors. Coming up next to him I was almost giddy with excitement when I saw the sign.

  Dressing Room – Raining Chaos

  Inside was more like a hotel suite than a dressing room, and nothing like we’d experienced before. Lots of couches, a buffet table loaded with food and liquor, separate rooms for changing and a huge TV on the wall. Music was being piped in from somewhere and filling the room with sound. The guys struggled to look cool but the girls looked like they were kids in a toy store.

  “Okay, guys, three hours ‘til show time. I’ll be right back. I need to double check a few things.”

  As soon as Rod closed the door behind himself, Wrath shouted, “How fuckin’ cool is this?”

  “Totally. I knew we’d do it, didn’t think it’d happen this soon, but hell yeah.” We probably all had the same shit eating grin on our faces, but reality hit me and I knew we had to keep it together. Now was not the time to go ape shit. “I know there’s a shit load of alcohol here but no one touches it until after the show, okay? I want us sober, we need to kick ass. Show everyone we’re here to stay and not a one hit wonder.”

  “Shit really, no booze? C’mon, just one beer isn’t going to hurt.”

  “Really, Flame? Like you’d stop at one beer. This is the start of a whole new life. If you think people recognized us before wait until now.”

  Rage groaned, “Shit, it’s gonna get worse?”

  Laughing, I punched him in the arm. “Fuck you, stop whining, you know you love those girls throwing themselves all over you.”

  Grinning, he rubbed his arm. “Don’t hurt me, bro, I need that arm for later.”

  Shaking my head I walked over to Sweets. She’d been avoiding m
e since last night. “You got it together?”

  “Yeah, you don’t need to worry about me. I’m a big girl.”

  “Fuck. C’mon that’s not what I meant and you know it. Why are you making this so hard all of a sudden?”

  “I’m not, you’re the one who’s changing.”

  I didn’t want to have an argument with her but it looked like she was heading down that road. I was about to ask her what she meant when there was a knock at the door.

  Pulling it open I figured it’d be Rod, but instead there was a scrawny guy with glasses and long hair. “I think you might have the wrong room.”

  “Nope, sorry.” He held out his hand and I grabbed it without thinking. “I’m Mike Daily from WXRQ Radio. I wanted to go over how we’ll introduce you tonight.”

  “Oh shit, yeah, sorry c’mon in, man. Hey, guys, this is Mike Daily. He’s going to intro us tonight.”

  Mike stepped into the room with a smile on his face to a chorus of ‘hey, hi and shit yeahs’. I’m sure he was used to this but it was new to us.

  “Hey. So how does it feel to make the big time?”

  Wrath came over and shook his hand answering for all of us when he said, “Fuckin’ sweet.”

  “Cool. Okay, I won’t take up a lot of your time but I wanted to go over the introduction we’ll do tonight. Is there anything special you want us to say or just go with the standard shit the record company provided?”

  “What do you think,” I said, looking around the room. “Anyone want to add anything to our stand intro?”

  I got a lot of nopes for answers so that pretty much sealed it. “I guess we’re good. I can’t think of anything else either. They have it covered.”

  “Okay, great. The doors will open at seven, and there’s a warm up act—a local band will come on at seven thirty. I’ll introduce you at eight and you’ll have an hour. Sound good?”

  “Yup, great. Thanks, man, we appreciate the heads up.”

  “No problem. Break a leg tonight, although with your talent you don’t need any help. I’m looking forward to your next album.”