by Amy Briggs
“Ah, I see. Well good luck. If there’s nothing else, then I guess that’s it. Your shift is about over, I can cover the last half hour if you want to leave now,” he offered.
“Uh, alright, cool. Thanks.” I was a little confused, but getting away from him sooner rather than later sounded ideal to me at this point. I started to walk away.
“Oh, Jo?” he called after me.
“Yeah?” I turned around to see what he wanted.
“Looking sexy today,” he laughed. “Really sexy.” He narrowed his eyes at me.
A chill setttled all over me. That was completely out of the blue, and totally creepy. Looking sexy? What the hell is that about? I didn’t reply.
I got out of there as quick as possible. There was something seriously wrong with him, and the way he'd been glaring at me the last few times I’ve seen him disturbs me. And why would he care about my dad’s notebooks? I made a note to schedule time to go through them this weekend, I felt like something in those notebooks intrigued Danny, and if that was true, I needed to find out why.
I showed up on that scene to see her. I knew she’d be there. I was on my way to go see my brother straight from my mom’s when the call went out. I had hoped to have beers with Matt tonight, but he told me he was meeting up with Jo, and frankly, I needed to make things right with Matt before he saw her so he would help me get her back. The plan would start as soon as possible.
I thanked the Lord above when I saw her she was wearing a dark blue uniform shirt, her uniform looking like everyone else’s. Except that no one else on that scene makes my cock hard. No one anywhere, actually. I'd been getting a few texts here and there this week from girls I had gone out with recently, and I told every single one of them that I was off the market and wished them well. Even if Jo didn’t know yet, there’s no other woman for me and she will find out soon enough. I honestly couldn’t stand the thought of touching anyone but her and I cringed at the thought.
As I headed over to my brother’s house, I thought about how different life felt since I tasted her. Like I was carrying a weight around before I realized how I felt about her. I was so excited about my future with Jo, I wanted to call her and talk to her about it like she was my best friend. She wasn’t really speaking to me, but that would change soon enough. I was absolutely going to man up, and be the man she deserved in her life. I’d protect her and love her forever. The sappy shit made me so happy I could burst, I didn’t even care, I could shout it from the rooftops.
I pulled into my brother’s driveway, he lived with Jax in a house that belonged to Jax. It was their bachelor pad more or less. I preferred my house being my sanctuary, and I kept most of my partying outside of my place. Jax was probably down at the station tinkering with things or researching stuff, I didn’t see his truck there and you could find him there most of the time, even on his time off.
It was a nice afternoon, and I was pretty sure my brother was out back in his back yard, so I walked around instead of coming to the front door. Sure enough, there he was, lounging in a chair beer in one hand, phone in the other.
“Hey, Matt.” I approached the beast carefully. I really did need his help, and since we’ve both already talked to our mom, I wasn’t quite sure where to start and I was hoping he would actually.
“Oh, hey dickhead. How was your visit with mom?” he laughed sarcastically in my direction, not really making eye contact with me. Obviously he wasn’t going to make this easy for me.
“It was…you know, enlightening. Apparently she already knew everything. Nice mouth,” I got a beer for myself out of the cooler next to him and grabbed myself a seat.
We sat in silence drinking our beers for a couple minutes, when Matt did finally speak up first. Thank God.
“Look. I have to just ask you, because I don’t even get it right now, but mom told me to listen to you. So, are you serious? Like really serious about this? Because this changes everything, man, you can’t be kinda sure, or whatever. You have to be honest with me, do you really love her?” He looked over at me and waited for my response.
I turned myself to face him and took in a deep breath. “Matty, I’ve never been so sure of anything in my life. She's my heart. Like Mama used to talk about love. My life is empty without her in it. I'm in physical pain without her right now and I don’t know what to do to get her back, but I have to. I was put on this earth to take care of her and to love her. I need you to help me.” I meant every word, and I hoped it was enough for Matt to understand the depth of my feelings for her. I didn’t really know what else to say.
Matt was looking at me intently, and then he finally spoke up., “Okay, I get it. If she's the one for you, then I’ll talk to her tonight when I see her. I'm not making any promises because she doesn’t even know I know anything yet, but I had already planned to bring it up tonight. She is meeting me out for drinks later. Okay?”
“Yeah, absolutely. Seriously, man, I owe you one. I’m telling you I’ve never felt like this before and I swear to you it’s the real deal.”
“Do you think she feels the same way about you?” He asked me.
“I think she does. I think she’s afraid of what people will say, but I don’t care. I’d give up being Chief to be with her,” I’d have given up whatever it took to make that empty feeling go away.
“Okay, settle down. Let’s not go resigning from our jobs. I'm pretty sure you can make this work one way or another if she really feels the same way. She’s squirrely though, and you know that about her. She starts on Sunday with us, so don’t do anything before then. I’ll talk to her tonight, but that’s so she can tell me what’s going on from her perspective. The only way to win this game is patience. You’re gonna have to take it slow or you’re gonna piss her off, and you know what that means,” he laughed.
I laughed too, when Jo was pissed off, she’d go to the end of the earth to make sure you knew she was right and you were wrong out of principle alone. And she would win. Every time. “Yeah, I definitely do. I’ll try to keep myself in check, but you gotta tell me how she is after you talk to her. I haven’t seen or heard from her, and I can’t stand her working at 19 this week with that Danny Russell wrapping up her shifts.”
“Yeah, something about that guy really gives me the creeps lately. I used to just think he was a dick, but I feel like something else is up and he's actually been showing up on Jo’s shifts this week when he’s not scheduled,” Matt confessed.
I stood up and clenched my fists, “What? Is he giving her a hard time? What’s going on?” I was consumed with rage, if he was harassing her or even sneezing in her direction, I’d fucking kill him.
“Relax for right now, she says it’s under control, and in less than a week, she’ll be full-time with us. Let her play this out her way so she feels like she did the right thing. I don’t like it any more than you do, I feel like that guy needs a swift punch in the dick myself.”
“Alright, it’s only a couple days, but you need to check in with her about it. A lot. I don’t like it one bit. We're her family regardless of anything else, we have to take care of her.” I don’t like feeling helpless, but Matt was right. I needed to let Jo have her space to work this out her way. I couldn’t control everything in her life, but one thing was for damn sure, after she was done at 19, I wasn’t letting her out of my sight, and if I had any say in the matter her beautiful face would be the first thing I saw in the mornings, and the last thing I saw every night.
I really needed to start going through my dad’s stuff, and organizing his notebooks and stuff. I wonder if maybe I can just give the notebooks to Brian to hold onto in case he needed them for anything. I made a note to ask Matt to talk to Brian about it. I was trying to avoid initiating a conversation with Brian until we were working together, because it hurts. I’ve got a pit in my stomach, and every time I’ve thought about him, I felt my face getting warm, and my eyes becoming full of tears. I knew the feeling would pass, it had to eventually.
I was meetin
g Matt tonight, just the two of us, to catch up and hang out and have a couple drinks. We hadn’t really spent any time together since I left the bar with Brian that night. That night, that sealed my feelings, and makes me weak in the knees. I started to get a tingle just thinking about how hot it was. Stop it, stop it, stop it. Oh, but it was so good. It could never be that good with anyone else, ever. I actually rolled my eyes at myself and finished getting ready.
Matt and I had decided to meet up at a place across town for some food and drinks, and we didn’t really feel like running into everyone we know, so it was worth the extra fifteen minutes on the road to get there. It was actually a little Irish place kind of close to Station 19 that I had discovered one night after a shift there with some of the guys that lived on that side of town.
I wasn’t an especially high maintenance girl, I was definitely a t-shirt and jeans chick, but I still liked to feel pretty when I wasn’t riding a firetruck. I had messy short hair that I thought looks pretty cute when I put some makeup on, so since I was feeling so shitty, I decided that I would definitely do my face tonight. It wasn’t a date, but I was leaving the house and trying to put on a brave face, so it was a bit like painting on confidence.
I absolutely needed to tell Matt what happened. I couldn’t keep this secret from him, and I was so afraid he was going to be angry with me about it. Scotty and I had been texting, and he said something was going on with Matt and Brian at work and they were barely speaking the other day. I was really hoping that it had nothing to do with me. I was sure it didn’t, but I couldn’t help the thought. I felt so fucking guilty for being dishonest in the first place. Really, this was probably never a good idea, since we couldn’t be together publicly, I couldn’t help but think that I set us up for failure by trying to keep him in secret. Well in true Jo fashion, it is what it is. Now it’s time to clear the air, confess to Matt, and talk about what’s next.
I pulled in to the parking lot of Erin’s Pub, parking next to Matt. He obviously beat me here. I checked myself in the mirror real quick, freshened up my lipstick, and got my ass in gear. When I walked in, he was sitting at the bar with his back to the door, wearing his usual beat up fire department baseball hat, t-shirt and jeans. I could have spotted him a mile away.
“Excuse me, is this seat taken,” I whispered in his ear trying to sound as sexy as possible. Hey, why not have a little fun with him.
He turned around quickly, and then looked shocked to see me, and I couldn’t help laughing hysterically. He definitely thought I was a strange new possibility. Mission accomplished.
“What the fuck, Jo?! You can’t do that to a guy! I’m in a dry spell! That’s so not fair!” he pretended to be mad at me and it was making me laugh that much harder.
“Aww come on, Matty, that was funny. Is this seat taken?” I mocked him further.
“Yeah, yeah, hilarious. Come on, let’s get a table,” he stood up, still pretending to be mad, leaving a few bucks on the bar for his beer.
I followed him over to a booth where he sat facing the door, and I sat across from him, my back to the door. Something a lot of emergency personnel do is evaluate a room—anywhere they go—for the different exits. It’s called a means of egress. We’re always calculating how we would get out, if there was an emergency. Normally, we all like having our eyes on the door for some reason, it was just instinctive, but in this situation, I was fine letting Matt have eyes on the door, as long as one of us did. If I were here with someone who wasn’t a partner, or in emergency services, I would have insisted sitting on the other side, just to have eyes on the exit. It’s just an instinctive thing we all do and you don’t even realize you do it until you are out and about with people who don’t do it.
“Are you hungry?” he asked, and grabbed a menu from the little metal tray holding them, handing it to me.
“I can always eat,” I grinned. “But I’m definitely thirsty more than anything,” I poked my head up and around like it was on a swivel, looking for a waitress. Before I even sat myself right, an adorable little blonde girl popped up in front of us to take our order.
“Hi, I’m Summer, what can I getcha, hunny?” she asked me with the sweetest little southern accent.
“Hi, Summer, I’ll take a Jameson’s and ginger please,” I smiled. She seemed really young, but she sure was perky. Matt was definitely enjoying the view himself.
“I’ll have another one of these,” he showed her his beer bottle and she smiled.
“Do you two need a few minutes with the menu?”
“I do actually, thanks,” I said, and she smiled again and took off like a little fairy. “She’s pretty cute, you should talk to her,” I said to Matt.
“She’s cute, but she’s not my type. Looks a little young. Anyway, I’m here to hang out with you. How’s it going? I feel like it’s been the longest week ever, and we haven’t really had time to catch up much. How are you doing?” He asked me a bunch of questions.
“I’m alright, it’s still weird being in that house without him if we’re being honest. And now, I really just can’t wait to be done with 19,” I didn’t really want to tell Matt exactly how creeped out I was becoming by Danny, but I think he could tell.
“Is that motherfucker giving you a hard time?” he asked.
“I wouldn’t call it a hard time exactly,” I scrunched my face up trying to figure out how to describe it. Matt was waiting for me to clarify. “He just keeps showing up, and he’s made a few kind of inappropriate comments, but I don’t think it’s a big deal. He knows I’m moving on and taking up residence at 23, so it is what it is. It’s only a few more days, then I won’t really ever have to see him.”
Matt looked at me sternly before he replied. “It’s important that you tell me if he’s doing anything that you know is over the line.” He awaited my response.
I sighed, knowing he was totally right. “I promise I will. I think he’s pushing his luck with me for some reason, I don’t know why now, but whatever. I don’t think it’s that bad. I promise I’ll tell you if it’s otherwise.”
“Okay. I’m serious though. There’s something about him that’s really been bothering me lately and the sooner you get out of there the better.”
“Yeah, I agree. I have a shift on Sunday overnight before I start with 23 on Monday morning that I’m trying to get someone to just cover for me. If that works out, I’ll only have to see him one more time maybe, if he shows up on Saturday when I’m working in the morning.” I had actually decided that the money this week wasn’t worth seeing him, and instead of switching shifts with other guys, I offered mine up to people that just wanted to work a little extra this week.
“Uh huh,” he prompted me to continue. He knew something was up. “So, how about you 'fess up and tell me what’s clearly going on in that head of yours, because it’s totally obvious you have something to tell me. What’s really going on with Danny at work?” he fucking knew me and although that wasn’t bothering me like the Brian situation weighed me down, he knew something was up, and he knew me better than I could ever pretend to hide.
“Eh, he’s just hanging around all the time now like I said, and he made some ‘you’re looking sexy’ comment that was fairly awkward and definitely uncalled for. Other than that, I’m just riding out the rest of the week, and trying to find someone to take my shift there Sunday so I can just be done with it already.” The Danny thing nagged at me a little bit, but I really don’t think he’s up to anything weird or nefarious, I think he’s just a dick and is using his last bit of time to make me uncomfortable.
“Did you report him to 19’s Chief?” Matt asked.
“Of course not. It’s not that big of a deal, and let’s be honest, I’ve heard way worse at 23, than ‘you’re looking sexy’ and you know it,” I gave him a sideways glance. Firefighters can be raunchy at times, and while there’s obviously a sexual harassment policy, more often than not, the intent was not to harass, it was just messing around.
“I don�
�t like that guy, Jo, and I especially don’t like that he’s left you alone all these months since you broke up, and now he’s showing up all the time, making comments. Something isn’t right about it.” He looked genuinely concerned.
“So far, it was one comment, and he’s just ‘around’ all the time,” I waved my hands around, “I don’t think it’s anything to be worried about, however I promise you that I will report in immediately if anything changes, okay?” I put my hand over my heart, and promised sarcastically. I honestly deep down was a little creeped out by Danny, but I’m sure that it’s nothing. I decided not to tell Matt that I'd slapped Danny earlier.
“Alright, you better,” he ordered me, then changed the subject. “So what else is on your mind, we've barely talked, and that’s unusual to begin with, but you seem really distracted about something. If it’s not Danny, then what is it?”
I guessed it was the time for me to confess my sins to my best friend. Just then, Summer walked up with our drinks, and took our order. We were more snackers than anything else, so we got a bunch of appetizers to share which was pretty much our standard.
“Uh, everything is alright I guess,” I was definitely stalling and he looked down at me indicating that he knew there was more.
I took a deep breath, I mean I did want to 'fess up, “Okay, okay, you’re right. I need to tell you something, and I really don’t know where to begin, because I really don’t want you to be pissed off at me, and I need your advice, but I’m one hundred percent putting you in the middle of what I would consider a situation.” My eyes got big and I waited for the go ahead.
He leaned in over the table. “I know. And you’re my best friend, Jo, so let’s get to it, and solve whatever the problem is now. There's literally nothing you could say that would make me not love you, you’re my family. So just spill it and let’s fix it,” he reached over, giving my hand a squeeze, signaling the go ahead.