by Alice Raine
‘I asked for it.’
Robyn’s soft words broke me from my self-chastisement, and I snapped my eyes open to find her staring at me with flushed cheeks and a nervous smile on her lips. ‘You asked if I wanted more, and I said yes. You didn’t force me, Oliver.’
She was trying to console me? Dios. This whole situation was reversed to how it should be, but I couldn’t deny that her words did ease my guilt a fraction.
Robyn dropped her eyes and began to fidget, twining her hands together in her lap. ‘The reason I came back up here was to apologise as well. I should have spoken to you, not just run off. I … well, you asked me to submit to you, and it freaked me out.’
Was she changing her mind? It was a wild thought, but certainly a tantalizing one. I pushed to my feet, and then leaned back against my desk so that I was still beside her, but not crowding her.
‘Do you feel the connection between us?’ I asked quietly, determined to get to the bottom of this once and for all. ‘Did you feel it in the scene?’
Robyn’s cheeks darkened with a further flush that sent a jolt of matching heat to my cock, and she nodded, but kept her eyes averted. ‘I do, it’s the most potent feeling. I can’t seem to control it.’
I knew exactly what she meant, because I felt precisely the same way. The way my body reacted to hers was unprecedented. I’d never felt it with anyone before, and it was utterly addictive. I wanted more. So much more.
‘And as for during the scene? I think my enjoyment was made pretty obvious by my reaction,’ she murmured, clearly feeling embarrassed by her climax. The thought irritated me. She was perfect, and that climax had been like a beautifully wrapped gift just for me.
‘You were so perfect, Robyn … your responses to me were beautiful. It’s nothing to be ashamed of, you know?’
‘Maybe.’ She shrugged, not convinced. ‘What you were teaching me earlier … it was … interesting,’ she acknowledged, and I had a feeling that we were finally going to get somewhere with this conversation. ‘But more than that, I … I liked it. I enjoyed the way you controlled my body, the way you made me feel … and that terrified me. That’s why I ran.’
‘Why?’ I needed to see her face to read what she was thinking, so I reached out, gently tipping her chin up so I could see her eyes. To my surprise I saw that they were shiny with unspent tears. The sight sent a jolt of pain through my chest.
‘Because … I like you, Oliver, but I’m so out of my depth here. You … you do the things you do, and I’ve never even considered them until recently. I’m quite traditional, vanilla as you called it, and I’m not sure I’m brave enough to give you what you want.’
I understood her hesitation, but her words were like music to my ears. She was tempted. It was all I needed to work with.
Suddenly, she raised her head and looked me straight in the eye. ‘In all honesty, I’m worried that I’m going to get hurt. Not physically. I mean emotionally. I’m worried I’ll get too attached, and once you’ve had your fun you’ll walk away. Tell me truthfully, is this just about sex for you?’
Her words brought me up short, and I straightened my shoulders out defensively. It had always just been about sex for me. I didn’t do relationships with feelings, not since Abi, and that had been nearly twenty years ago now. Mierda. Just thinking about that whole messy incident brought a cold sweat to the back of my neck.
Huffing out a breath, I closed my eyes and shook my head in an attempt to clear the fog that had settled from my painful memories. As I opened my eyes again I found Robyn gazing up at me, innocence, worry, and hope all playing across her features in a constant swirl. Dios, this could get messy quickly.
As much as I didn’t want to let her slip away, I couldn’t lie to her, not when she was being so open and honest with me. ‘Robyn, I don’t date,’ I reiterated. ‘At least I haven’t, not for a very long time.’ A bitter taste passed across my tongue again at my reference to the past, and I hoped like hell that she wouldn’t ask what my cryptic comment meant.
Thankfully she let it pass. Her eyes had cleared of tears now, and she looked resilient and set on her path, whatever that might be.
‘And I don’t do casual sex, Oliver, so either we walk away from this now, or we’re both going to need to compromise a little if you want to take this thing between us forward.’
Raising an eyebrow at her determined declaration, I smiled briefly at her feisty side, before sobering my expression. Walking away wasn’t an option for me, but could I really be considering the alternative? Could I do it? Go against the way I lived my life, for her?
I pushed away from the desk, turned away from Robyn, and ran my hands through my hair as old memories and pain scratched at me from the depths where I’d buried them long ago.
My delay was obviously stretching on too long for her liking, because I heard the scrape of the chair as Robyn stood up. ‘So we’re calling it a day now, then? I’ll thank you for your help with my research and walk away?’
No. That was the overriding reaction in my gut when I heard her words, and I spun around again and shook my head. ‘What you’re asking is completely out of character for me,’ I confessed. But then again, the way I felt about her was completely out of character as well. Not that I spoke those words out loud. I already felt off kilter enough, I didn’t need Robyn to see my weakness as well. What it really came down to was one simple fact – I hadn’t felt this attracted to a woman in years, and if I let her walk away I knew in my bones that I would regret it.
‘I can’t make any promises, Robyn.’ I answered honestly, my tone sounding just as regretful as I felt. As much as I liked her, I didn’t do relationships.
Robyn graced me with her first attempt at a smile since entering the room, and I just knew that I was following the right path by pursuing this. She was worth it.
‘I’m not making any promises, either, but you want me to submit to you, and I’m tempted … but I could only see myself doing that if I really got to know you first.’
My brow lowered, and I crossed my arms as I weighed up her words. ‘OK, what are you suggesting, exactly?’
‘Can we take it really slow, just get to know each other? No submitting, or kneeling, or pressure … or sex. I trust you, Oliver, I do, but this lifestyle is so new to me, I just need a little longer to see if I think I’ll be able to relax into any of that stuff.’
No submitting. No sex. Nothing. It wasn’t exactly what I would have desired, but Robyn was at least considering the idea of submitting to me, so it was a start. A compromise, as she said. ‘So, basically, you just want to build a friendship between us?’ I clarified, wanting to make sure I had the facts straight from the outset.
Robyn winced as she nodded. ‘Yeah, I would need that first before I could consider moving on to more. I know how boring that must sound to you, but it’s just how I am.’ She lowered her shoulders slightly, and began the worried twisting with her hands again. Her words reminded me of just how young she was compared to me, and I wondered how inexperienced she was.
‘I totally understand if you would rather us just part now. I bet you could walk downstairs and pick any woman and she would willingly fall at your feet,’ she finished glumly, a frown creasing her forehead.
I dropped to my knees, grabbed one of her hands, and held it within both of mine, my action causing her gaze to leap up and lock with mine. ‘I don’t want any other woman. I haven’t for years.’ I pulled her hand to my lips and placed a kiss on the back of her knuckles.
‘But you, you I want.’ I lifted one hand to sweep some stray hairs back behind her ear and gave a dry chuckle. ‘So much so, that I’m willing to go against everything I’ve ever done, step back, and wait until you tell me if you’re ready for more.’
Leaning up, I placed a kiss on her cheek, allowing my lips to linger for longer than was necessary, and getting a kick from her soft blush and the way her pupils had dilated when I leaned back. She wanted more with me, I was sure of it. She just needed t
ime to accept that fact herself.
‘You have yourself a deal. I accept your terms, Robyn with a y.’
Chapter Eighteen
Robyn
Despite his claims that “he didn’t date”, and the fact that we were supposed to be “just friends”, over the next few weeks Oliver proved himself to be rather lavish with the attention that he showered upon me. We only saw each other on Fridays, when I dared venture to the club with Sasha and Chloe to use more of our free vouchers, but whenever I was there, it wasn’t long until Oliver magically appeared by my side.
On each occasion he’d been a perfect companion, helping me with my research, keeping me entertained, and generally making my Friday evenings the absolute highlight of my week.
We hadn’t stepped beyond my enforced friendship boundaries, but Oliver’s flirtatious side was never far below the surface, and even with my relative inexperience, I could feel the simmering sexual tension that surrounded us whenever we were together.
It was super-hot, as was the burning attraction that I felt for him. As corny as it sounded, he made me feel things that I’d only thought existed in romance films or novels. When I was with Oliver I felt sexy, desired, and so alive that my body was constantly alight with newly discovered sensations.
We hadn’t swapped numbers, or addresses yet, though; a deliberate move on my part to try to slow down the growing relationship that was developing between us, because I suspected things might move rather quickly once I finally gave in to it. And I was now pretty sure I was going to give in to it.
Mr Oliver Wolfe and his Spanish charm had managed to firmly weave themselves into my heart, and regardless of the fact that he was the owner of a sex club, and a self-confessed kinky bastard, I was starting to think that I wanted to move things to the next level with him.
I was just pondering this last thought, with a secret smile and a heated blush, when the man in question joined me at the bar. Glancing at my watch, I smiled – I’d only arrived one minute and forty-four seconds ago, yet he was already by my side. This was his quickest appearance yet.
‘Good evening, Robyn.’ Oliver waited for me to stand and accept a brief kiss from him on my cheek – as he did every time we met now – but even though he approached our encounters in a cool, calm way, I still flushed every time I recalled how I’d climaxed so easily for him the other week.
His kiss lingered, and my eyelids fluttered shut as I spent a second absorbing the lovely tingles that skittered across my skin from the contact. When I opened my eyes, I found that he’d moved back, a sly smile curling his lips and giving away the fact that he’d seen my blissed-out response to his attention. Not that I cared any more. He knew I was attracted to him, we’d both confessed as much, and even with this knowledge he’d been the perfect gentleman and respected my need for some time to get to know him.
Settling himself on the chair next to me, he propped his foot on the rung on my stool and tilted his head to the side. ‘How’s your week been?’
I glanced down at the position of his foot and had to supress a grin – he always sat like this, always, and I couldn’t help but wonder if he were somehow laying a claim on me by placing his foot there. A subtle warning to anyone else within our space that I was not available. Even though I technically was. Or perhaps that was just my infatuated brain being ridiculous.
‘Not too bad. I normally like to take my laptop and head outside to do some writing, but with the rain we’ve had I’ve ended up stuck indoors. It’s good to be out tonight; I was starting to feel like I had cabin fever. How about you?’
Oliver gave a small shrug, then nodded. ‘Busy, but fine. I’m glad it’s Friday.’
I was glad it was Friday, too, but that was because I now looked forward to these meetings with Oliver so much that my entire week revolved around them. With his gentle flirting, care for me, and general loveliness I was getting more and more attached to him, and his proposition was never far from my mind.
Submitting to him. Exploring, sexually. It had become a rather tantalizing idea.
‘It’s funny you should mention the weather, because I have a proposition for you …’ Oliver wore that irritatingly indecipherable expression he used so frequently.
A proposition? Was he referring to the proposition? Or a different one? ‘Um, OK, what is it?’
Oliver straightened slightly in his seat and crossed his arms, something I’d come to realise he did when he was feeling determined. ‘I’m going to Barcelona next week and I want you to come with me.’
What? He wanted me to go on holiday with him? So far, our times together had been within Club Twist, and all had been as just friends – albeit friends who flirted and seemed to be constantly surrounded by a haze of sexual tension. We hadn’t even been on a date, but now he wanted me to go away with him?
‘You work from home, and you did just say how depressing the weather is. It’s lovely and warm in Barcelona at the moment.’
My face must have showed my confusion, because Oliver straightened his back, as if he was feeling defensive. ‘I have some work to attend to during the day, and there’s another club there, owned by a friend of mine. I thought it might be good for your research to visit it.’
Oh. So not so much a holiday with me, then, but an opportunity for him to have some company while he worked away. Oh yes, and to show me a sex club in a different country, let’s not forget that little nugget. That description sounded far less romantic, but it didn’t stop me from being tempted. Barcelona was one of my favourite cities, but I hadn’t visited in ages, and he was right, the British weather at the moment was horrible.
‘I promise to behave, if that’s what’s worrying you,’ he added, taking a sip of his drink and watching me carefully over the rim of his glass as he did so.
Even if Oliver was busy during the day and only wanted to see me in the evenings, I could see the sights on my own during the day; soak up some culture, not to mention some much needed sunshine.
‘You’re hesitant, Robyn, which I find mildly insulting. I thought we’d grown closer these past weeks? I’m not that bad, am I?’ His words shocked me, or more precisely his hurt tone, and a spear of guilt poked at my chest. Surely he couldn’t think I was hesitating because I didn’t trust him? It wasn’t that at all, but I was just so stunned by the offer that I couldn’t seem to form words.
Sighing, Oliver continued. ‘If it’s cost concerning you, then put it aside, I’m paying.’
My eyes widened further, but I was still speechless, and we both sat in silence for several more seconds, locked in a gaze that was making me feel breathless.
Finally, I managed to reconnect my tongue. ‘We have grown closer, and it’s been lovely, that wasn’t why I hesitated, Oliver. I was just a little speechless. In a good way,’ I added, to clarify myself.
‘I’m glad.’ His expression softened, and he nodded. ‘Do you trust me, Robyn?’ His low tone almost made it into a demand.
‘Yes.’ My reply was instant. He was right, we had got to know each other really well over these last few weeks; he made me feel safe, and I definitely trusted him.
My immediate answer seemed to be all he needed to hear, and he pulled in a breath as if calming himself. ‘I don’t want you to think I’m trying to pressurise you into anything by offering this trip, but I enjoy your company. There is no one else I would rather share my favourite city with.’
Wow. That was quite some statement.
‘We’ll have separate hotel rooms, of course, and I can provide contact numbers and hotel details to Sasha, too, so she’ll know where you are at all times.’
I nodded, but if I were brutally honest with myself, I wasn’t sure I wanted a separate room. I was becoming desperate to have a glimpse of the real Oliver Wolfe, the man behind the controlled image he always portrayed in public. I’d love to see what he was like when he first woke up with messy hair, brewed himself a coffee, or was having a shave, but seeing as he’d offered separate rooms perhaps it was him
who wanted the distance between us.
Drawing in a breath, I considered his proposal briefly. I didn’t have any commitments I couldn’t leave for a week; it might do me a good to have a break from my book for a few days, and I didn’t have any impending deadlines for the newspaper, so really there was nothing holding me back.
Chomping on my lower lip, I decided to embrace my inner confidence and throw caution to the wind. Sod it. I loved Barcelona, and I was growing increasingly attached to Oliver, so why not take the offer of a holiday with him? ‘OK. Thank you, Oliver, that sounds amazing.’
Oliver’s mouth dropped open and he gawked at me for a second, before recovering his composed expression and raising his eyebrows. ‘Yes?’
‘Yup,’ I reiterated with an excited grin.
‘You’ll come with me?’ He was always so controlled, and hardly ever let his guard down like this, so seeing him look so openly shocked made me giggle.
‘Yes. I’d love to, thank you. I’ll pay for my own flights, though.’
Clearing his throat, he nodded. ‘Excellent. We fly Monday morning, and you’re not paying for a thing.’ He pulled his phone from his pocket, opened up a new contact in his address book, and handed it to me with a sly smile. ‘I’ll need your address so I can pick you up. Better add your phone number, too.’
I was going on holiday with a man who didn’t even know my phone number, or where I lived. I must be mad. Or madly falling for him. One or the other. I had a distinct feeling I knew exactly which it was, but I chose to ignore it for now.