Fearless Attraction (Cassie Series)

by Ashley Beale

  "Do you remember what happened?" She walks back over and hands me the Styrofoam cup, then helps me sit up in the bed. She adjusts my pillow for me and everything.

  I shake my head while taking a sip of the water, then I set it on the table next to me where there is a tray of food. The Jell-O is half eaten. I look to Aubrey and she shrugs, like I should have expected that from her. "I just remember yelling at Avery and Pierce, and trying to clear things up with them."

  "Apparently you had some kind of panic attack or something and you fainted. Hit your head pretty hard. You've only been out about three hours."

  I groan but it hurts my head. I reach in the back and feel a small bandage in the back. "They didn't have to shave or cut my hair right?"

  She shakes her head with another small smile. "No, no stitches or anything, just a small cut from the fall. It's covered in gauze, but that tape will probably hurt when it's time to come out. They wanted to clip some hair but I told them you'd go crazy when you woke up."

  "Thank you," I breathe out with relief. "So is it just you here?"

  She gives me a knowing smile. "In other words, are Pierce and Avery around here somewhere."

  "Yeah, that too. And my mom."

  "Your mom just left about five minutes ago to get me some food," she rubs her belly, "so she shouldn't be too long."

  "And?"

  "Oh, right, them. Yeah, I wouldn't be surprised if they got kicked off the premises by now. They were in here, but when Mason and I came in to check on you, I may or may not have flipped out on them for letting this happen, then a minor argument war broke out, and it ended with Pierce and Avery getting into each other’s faces, then your mom came in, and two nurses, and two security guards. Mason and Avery are in one waiting room, Pierce is in another. They have to have permission to come back in." She just picks at her finger nails, acting like that was all no big deal.

  My mouth is gapping open. "You are kidding right?"

  "Huh?" She looks up at me and smiles. "No, not at all. I can text Mason if you want one of them in here. I'm not leaving anyone alone with you though. Look what all this has done to you." All humor in her expression is gone and her eyes look me over. "I wish you would have told me you were this stressed out."

  "I'm not going to stress you out with just a few weeks left in your pregnancy."

  "It wouldn't have stressed me out any more than this," she points to me sternly. "Anyways, you want one in here or you want them both gone?"

  "Right now, I honestly don't know what I want. Heck, I haven't known what I want for the past year or so."

  She pulls her chair closer to me and grabs ahold of my hand. "With their arguments, I got a gist of what’s going on in their heads and hearts. They both adore you and are both willing to fight for you- but you have to fight back Cassie. It's your time to get into the ring. Fight for what feels right."

  "I just told them both exactly what I felt, both of them, while the other sat there and listened. I told them both I didn't want either of them right now."

  "What they got out of whatever you said is that you just want to screw Pierce but not be held down by him. That you’re not in love with him, but in love with how you two are together. And that you want to communicate with Avery, but only from afar because he always hurts your feelings and confuses you, and that in many years down the road you're going to marry him." She lifts a brow.

  I think about what I said to them, and although that isn't exactly how I meant for it all to sound, it's quite true. Except one thing. "But I do love Pierce. Why would he say that I didn't?"

  "He didn't sweetie, he was defending your honor on that one in his own vile way. It was Avery who said it about fifteen times. I'm sure he wants to believe that to be true, and if everything they said you said is true, it does sound that way."

  I cover my face in my hands and groan. "This is too much. I wanted to clear the air."

  "You did." She pries one of my hands off my face so she can look at me, or better yet, so I can look at her. "You finally got everything off your chest, said what you needed to say, and let them both know exactly how you feel not just about them but about the other. But you had it all built up so long, look what it did to you. Knocked you on your ass. I think it's time you let them both go."

  "What? Are you crazy? I tried the whole dating thing. Didn't work for me. I'm already confused as is and don't need to add another guy into the mix. I remember what it was like when I thought I was in love with Carson too, it was even more exhausting. There is too much back and forth and my heart can't handle it, either can my head. No way will I add anyone else into the equation. It's Avery or Pierce or no one."

  "Well then we're leaving here and buying you a cat."

  I sigh and decide I can't do this, not right now. "Can I have something to eat off my tray?"

  "I already ate all the good stuff, which wasn't much, but," she looks over and lifts a cover off from a plate, revealing a sandwich of sorts. "You can have a cold grilled cheese sandwich or cold tomato soup."

  "Gross. Never mind. I'll starve."

  "Oh, shut up, your mom will be here any time with food."

  I close my eyes and relax while Aubrey just sits next to me. She clears her throat but I don't say anything, she clears it again a second later, so I open my eyes to ask her what, but I see what the second my eyes meet his.

  "How are you?" he slowly makes his way towards my bed, standing on the opposite side of Aubrey. Probably scared she'll attack him.

  "I don't know," I answer honestly.

  Pierce reaches down and holds my hand. Even though it's the one with an IV in it, it's comforting. "How is your head?" His voice is so soft, it doesn't seem natural with him at all.

  "It hurts but not horrible."

  He nods his head softly and just gazes into my eyes. We both stare at one another for a while, neither of us saying anything. Aubrey stands and starts walking towards the door. "I'll give you two a minute. I'll be right outside the door if you need anything."

  I nod my head at her and she leaves the room, closing the door behind her. Pierce walks around the bed and occupies the chair Aubrey was in, bringing it even closer to the bed than it was. He doesn't touch me this time, instead, he just stares at me with those little puppy dog eyes that make me sad for him.

  "I don’t want to discuss this right now if it's just going to stress you out more." He watches me and I give him a small smile, as in telling him to continue. "You made me feel like an idiot, just so you know."

  My face pales at that. Not quite what I was expecting, but it's the truth and I shouldn't be so surprised. He continues though, ignoring my minor heart attack. "I really thought I was more than "a lover" to you," he uses his fingers to quote the words, "but I guess I should have seen that was all there was between us. I always knew I was second choice to Avery, but I was hoping that you'd give me a chance to prove that I can be better than him, I am better than him. I don't want to lose you Cassie, especially after basically just getting you back, but I don't think I can just sleep with you while waiting for you to marry Avery one day. That isn't fair to even ask of me."

  I have to clear my throat before I can speak, with all the emotion forming a lump in there, it's hard to speak. "That really wasn't what I was asking, Pierce, and I'm sorry it came out sounding that way. I do love you, I just, I can't be with either of you. Look what it's doing to me, to us, all of us. I love what we have, but not just because we're having sex, it's the connection we have with one another. We don't have to try too hard to please one another with dates and hanging out, it comes natural to us, and we have such a fierce passion between us. I know though, if we were to further our relationship, if we were to become something official, it'd ruin all that. And it's really not fair for either you or Avery if I'm with one of you and still longing for the other."

  "That makes more sense I guess. I just wish you were more willing to give me a try."

  "Then why did you tell me to go with Avery?"

>   He looks down and presses his lips together for a minute before speaking. He doesn't look at me when he talks, so I know this is hard for him. "Well, for one, you didn't close to door all the way, so I heard the whole conversation. I was coming down the hall when you let Avery in, so I didn't miss much. I wasn't trying to ease drop but I was scared I was losing you already. When you didn't answer him right off, I opened the door and you didn't even notice me standing there. You looked like you were excited about it. You had this smile on your face I don't see often and I knew you wanted to. I thought if I gave you permission, you wouldn't have to think on it more. I guess it was never really about me though, was it?" He looked up at me this time and if looks could kill someone, ugh, I'd be on my death bed.

  If I answer him honestly, it'd really hurt him. I think on it right now, and not once did I consider what me leaving with Avery would do to Pierce. I thought about school and if I was ready to be with Avery for good. I thought about how it'd affect me, and my relationship with Avery. God, I'm a horrible person. My silence seems to answer Pierce and he starts to stand.

  "Wait, Pierce, just wait. I'm just thinking about things."

  "You're always asking me to wait, Cassie. You're always thinking about things. It's ruining you, it's ruining me, and I don't know how much more waiting I can do."

  "I'm not going with him," I tell him before he can leave.

  "So you've already said."

  "Pierce," my voice cracks, "please, don't leave me yet."

  He leans over and kisses my lips softly. Resting his forehead against mine, he talks softly. "I'm not giving up yet. Avery is leaving and it's my final chance to prove to you what we could have, and I'm going to do a damn good job at it." He presses his lips down once more, stands and walks out before I can say anything more.

  Chapter Fifteen

  My mom showed up minutes after Pierce left the room, Aubrey came in with her. The three of us ate our food, and didn't speak anything of the situations. My mom gave me kisses and said she'd be by the apartment tomorrow. Aubrey left after her and got Mason and Avery. They came in, but Avery and I didn't get to talk about anything, and quite honestly, it was relieving.

  The nurse came by a little later, along with a doctor, and after a few words and a check of my vitals, they let me go home. Aubrey brought me back to my apartment, offered to stay but I told her it was okay, then I laid on the couch to watch TV. I ended up passing out minutes after laying down, and didn't wake up until past when I was supposed to be at school already.

  I decided I deserved a sick day after everything, so I ended up taking a long bubble bath, did some homework, then laid on the couch, catching up on my queue.

  My mom shows up near supper time and I'm thankful because I'm exhausted and don't feel like cooking anything. In fact, I'm so tired I probably would be too lazy to even put a frozen meal in the microwave. She brought over home cooked spaghetti with meatballs, which completely surprises me- she doesn't cook.

  "This is delicious mom, did Jerry make it?"

  She laughs softly, looking impressed about something. "I hired Ellen actually. The divorce finalized last Friday, and with the money I received from your father, I was able to offer Ellen enough money to come work for me full time."

  "I should have known this was her cooking. It's amazing. Tell her thanks. That is good to hear, too. Are you doing okay mom? For real?"

  "I really am, I don't think I've been this happy in a long while." She smiles before digging into her food again.

  We eat while making small talk and I'm honestly surprised she doesn't bring up the fact of what happened and why I ended up randomly fainting. Probably Aubrey explained it to her and she is too embarrassed to bring up the fact her daughter is in a love triangle. Good, because I'd be embarrassed if she brought it up.

  When she leaves she hugs me extremely tight and kisses my forehead, leaving her lips there a moment. She pulls back and smiles at me, tucking my hair behind both ears. "You know you can tell me anything, right?" Okay, so now she wants to bring it up? I do my best not to sigh.

  "Yes mom, thank you."

  "Okay, good. I love you."

  "Love you more." She leaves the apartment and I just stare at the now closed door. I'm so sick of my life. Just a few weeks until school is over and summer can begin. Maybe I'll vacation again. Although, last summer it was nice and refreshing, it's clear it didn't do what I intended it for. Maybe just a few weeks then.

  I flop onto the couch and decide to go through some note cards I need for school tomorrow. That ends my long, boring night.

  By the time Friday hits, I haven't seen or heard from either of the guys and I've only talked to Aubrey twice. My dad called Thursday to check on me, but that was left short. Mostly my doing. Amy has been the one I've talked to the most, even though most of her time is now spent with Kevin. She asked if I wanted to go out to a new club tonight, just us girls, so currently I'm raiding my own closet. I miss that I can't have Aubrey's advice on what to wear, or her help looking sexy.

  Once I'm dressed, I head into the bathroom and attempt the whole dark eye makeup thing, but it doesn't work out so well. I just look like someone punched me in the face. I wash it off and try again. By the time I'm done- you know, after the third attempt- I look in the mirror and feel like I actually look real good.

  I opted for a short purple mini dress, with white platform heels, and did my makeup simple, since that is all I can seem to do. I took a few strands of hair and curled it whichever way felt right and left the rest straight. After sliding my ID and cash into my bra, I call Amy to get directions, then I head out to her house.

  She comes right out of her place when I pull into the driveway, locking the door behind her. She smiles at me as she makes her way over to my car. I already know she wants to drive, which of course makes me happy, so I slide out of the driver’s seat, leaving the door open while I walk around.

  Amy is wearing a short, black leather skirt, a skin tight red tank top that fits her form well. Her hair is wavy and just flows around her shoulders and down her back. She has on black leather boots to match her skirt. In other words, she looks hot. I'm pretty jealous, I have to admit. Especially when I notice that she has gorgeous smokey eyes. Am I the only girl in the world that has never got the concept of doing my makeup right? I try, I really do, I just don't have a knack for it apparently.

  "Squee, I'm so excited," she claims as we head out. "I haven't been out in a long while."

  I smile over at her. "Yeah, I'm pretty excited too. I definitely needed this. Thanks for inviting me."

  She looks over at me with a sweet smile. "Thanks for joining me."

  We arrive at a two story dance club. The upstairs is eighteen plus, the downstairs is twenty-one plus. I've never actually been here before but I've heard many, many people talk about it. Before getting out of the car, Amy pulls out a flask from her purse and waves it in front me. "It's not enough to get drunk, just let us feel loose before we go in."

  "Perfect," I tell her. I hadn't exactly planned on drinking, but I know it'll loosen me up some. I do surprisingly have nerves, probably because I've never been out to a night club like this before. We both sip on the disgustingly cheap liquor, which I believe is vodka but in all honestly, I can’t tell. It burns going down but I'm instantly warmer inside.

  We make it inside and I'm already in love with the place. Red leather couches are placed throughout, there is a large, raised dance floor dead center, and two stripper poles. A small bar off to the side with a few stools in front, and a couple tables placed strategically around the dance floor. The mixture of colored lights are flashing to the beat of the music, and the DJ is placed in the far corner and there is a lot of attention on him.

  It isn't quite packed yet, but we're still early. We both sit around on one of the couches and chat amongst ourselves while watching others show up, and some people dance. Once there are over twenty people on the floor, Amy grabs my hand and together we go out to it. It doesn't t
ake long to pick up the beat of the music, and before I know it, I'm having the time of my life.

  A guy that looks to be in his later twenties walks over and starts grinding with Amy from behind. We give each other a look like eh, whatever, and continue on. He isn't ugly but he isn't all that attractive. Nothing like her boyfriend, Kevin. After a third song, she finally turns around to thank him, and comes closer to me. He wiggles himself in to our twosome, trying add a number, but we both keep shaking our heads while laughing.

  He yells to us so we can hear him over the music. "Why don't you ladies come downstairs?"

  "Not old enough," Amy yells back.

  "Come on, I'll get you in. I know the owner."

  We both look at each other and figure, why not. My first gut reaction is this isn't very smart, then I remember we're not actually leaving the club, we're just going to the twenty-one plus section. As long as we don't go home with the guy, we're both fine.

  The guy doesn't even ID us as we walk up to the entrance, and Amy and I both hold in our grins until we walk in. It's a different vibe down here. There are two long bars on either wall, the DJ booth is dead center on the back wall, there are a few oversized black chairs, as well as a bar tables placed near the walls, but for the most part, it's very open. It needs to be with the amount of people packed in here. I can already tell we're going to be a hot mess by the time we leave.

  "Can I buy you ladies a drink?" the guy asks, bringing his head between ours so he can talk lower in our ears.

  "Sure," Amy says. I nod my head, and together we follow him to one of the bars. He holds up three fingers and drinks are brought over and placed in front of us. I love it, no questions asked, nothing. This guy obviously is well known here because he didn't have to even tell the bartender what he wanted, and like that three beers were placed down.

  He hands us each one. "Names Levi," he says.