The Glowing Hours

by Marina Oliver

  Gwyneth could. He still loved Nell and in this way might help her. For a brief, betraying moment when she learned that Nell was in Paris she had wondered whether she might now have a chance to win Paul for herself, but this information forced her to accept the hopelessness of it. Paul still loved Nell and always would. Yet Nell had left him, gone to Paris. Didn't she love him? Surely Nell wasn't so dedicated to dancing as she was? For Paul Gwyneth knew she would be prepared to give up her ambitions.

  'And Andrew is soon off to America.'

  It was ironic, she thought as he gave her all the news, that she and Paul would soon be the only ones left in Birmingham. Suddenly she felt very lonely, much more so than when she had first run away from home. Perhaps she wasn't as independent as she thought. When they reached Manor Farm and Timothy showed her to a small bedroom several doors away from his own, she turned in the doorway and held his arms. 'You're so kind,' she whispered, and reached up to kiss him on the lips.

  Then she chuckled, for Timothy had backed away, startled, and was looking at her in consternation. 'Were all those attempted seductions just teasing?' she asked. 'Don't you want me after all?'

  'But – I said no strings!' he exclaimed.

  'And it was very sweet of you. Timothy, I've been awfully silly, refusing you for so long. Can I change my mind or don't you want me any more?'

  Then she gasped as he crushed her to him, kicked the door shut, and with trembling hands began to remove her clothes.

  *

  'Marigold, it's Paul. I need your advice. Can we meet at the hotel?'

  'Of course. I shall be there this evening. Come in for a cocktail.'

  As she put down the telephone Marigold wondered what Paul had to say. He'd sounded abrupt and oddly uncertain. When he was shown into her office later he was restless, pacing the floor while she prepared cocktails.

  'Here, drink this and tell me what is bothering you.'

  He sighed, and then smiled ruefully. 'Marigold, does everyone come to you for help and advice? You look so young and fragile yourself, and yet I know life hasn't been easy for you. Is it that strength people instinctively recognise?'

  'I've made plenty of mistakes myself,' she replied gently. 'What is it? Nell?'

  'Yes. You know she keeps refusing me. She has this foolish notion she isn't good enough for me because she was born in a slum. I've tried to be patient, I haven't even written to her in Paris, but I wondered – well, now Amy has been found and Nell wants to make a home for her, things have changed.'

  'How? So far as you and Nell are concerned?'

  'Don't you see? Someone has to provide a home for Amy, and I can't see the Dr Barnardo's people being happy with Mr Baxter's guardianship if they see him in his normal state! If Nell married me they would look on our home as much more suitable.'

  'And you are thinking of suggesting this to Nell? Oh, Paul!'

  'Why not? It would solve her problems.'

  'But don't you see, even if she agreed, and I doubt if she would, she would always feel a sense of obligation to you. There could never be the sort of equality, the partnership, which is necessary for a good marriage. I've watched Nell and I'm fairly certain she does love you. But she could never express that love freely if she thought she'd married you for Amy's sake. She would think you wouldn't believe her. She has to come to you without any coercion or persuasion other than the fact that she loves you. You must be even more patient, Paul.'

  He pushed his hand through his hair. 'In a way I thought you'd say something like this. I hadn't worked it out so clearly, but you are right, as usual. I'm desperate and in such a turmoil I must have hoped you might persuade me differently.'

  'Poor Paul, I do understand. But go on supporting her when she comes home from Paris. One day she will realise that the differences between you don't matter.'

  *

  'You were wonderful! Nell, you were so good tonight! I've never seen you dance better!' Kitty enthused.

  'I didn't know you could see us,' Nell said, laughing.

  Kitty grinned. 'I'm stuck there, unable to move, and all I can do is gaze into the mirror behind me! It isn't as good a view as from a box, but it's enough!'

  'I think it's all because my patch-box turned up so oddly. I wonder how it could have got to me? Do you suppose Meggy found it somewhere and sent it on? But if so why didn't she enclose a note?'

  'Perhaps she forgot,' Kitty said hastily. 'I shouldn't say anything, Nell, it would embarrass her. She can't write very well. I'll tell her it arrived safely and you're grateful when I write to her.'

  'You're writing to her? I didn't know you did.'

  'I have to let her know I'm moving away from Paris. I don't have my mother's address, she's somewhere in California now, but Meggy can tell her when dear Mama suddenly decides she has to get in touch with me.'

  'You're moving from Paris? Leaving the Folies? Kitty, why? When did you decide this?'

  Kitty shrugged. 'A few days ago. I'm bored with all this, it's tedious having to be on stage every night. The dancing was hard work but at least it was interesting. Not like this posing, having to stay still even if your nose itches or you get cramp in your leg. Besides,' she added petulantly, 'I get so many black marks for being late for rehearsals or losing earrings or silly things like that I've already had four of their damned warning letters. One more and I'll be dismissed. I'd rather go first.'

  'But what will you do? You don't sound as if you're going home.'

  'No, I want to stay in France for a while. Don't tell the others, Nell, or they'll scratch my eyes out. I know I can trust you not to be envious. I'm going to the south of France, to Nice, with the Prince.'

  'Your Italian? But Kitty, he's old! He's in his fifties!'

  'Does that matter? It's all the better, perhaps. If I play my cards right he'll marry me, he is a widower. I'll wear him out in a few years and be left a rich widow while I'm still young enough to enjoy it.'

  'But – you've got plenty of money already, surely?' Nell asked, rather disturbed by Kitty's attitude.

  'Nell, don't be bourgoise! You can never have enough money, and in any case mine belongs to dear Mama. I don't relish being dependent on her charity for the rest of her life! Afterwards the Trust money stops, and I'll have a big house and no way of running it! And Timothy is no longer interested, he couldn't take his eyes off Gwyneth when he was here. I had hopes of him, I admit, but he's besotted. Not that he'll ever marry her.'

  'When are you going?'

  'At the end of the week. But I'll write, I'll keep in touch, and perhaps I'll send an invitation to the wedding!'

  'I shall miss you.' Nell knew it was true. Despite Kitty's tantrums and her occasional unpleasant moods, she had been a friend. It was Kitty who had first helped her escape from her home. She could never forget that or cease to be grateful.

  *

  Paul waited in the Rue Saulnier, feeling uncomfortably conspicuous. The usual line of mainly elderly men driving the latest model cars filled the narrow street. He was on foot, having arrived in Paris just in time to catch the show. He thought about Nell. With such a good troupe of girls and the training she received here her dancing had improved enormously even in a few weeks. She was exceptional, and he had a twinge of regret that his news would mean the end of Paris for her. Then he saw her emerge from the stage door with Kitty.

  Kitty hesitated for a second, then waved and walked elegantly across to one of the parked cars. A uniformed chauffeur opened the door for her and she slid into the back seat. As the car pulled away Paul saw a man beside Kitty, an oldish man, thin faced and narrow shouldered, with a hawk-like nose.

  'Nell,' Paul called, realising that in watching Kitty he had allowed Nell to move away. He strode along the street and Nell turned, almost colliding with him. He caught her in his arms, and suddenly breathless, she stared up at him.

  'Paul? It's really you? What are you doing here? Is Amy – is she all right?'

  'She's well, and so is everyone else. I wanted to
see you, to explain in person. Let's go and have supper.'

  Soon they were seated in a small but expensive restaurant nearby, and Paul shook his head when she demanded to be told his news. 'Let's order first,' he said calmly, and Nell subsided. Her heart was beating uncomfortably fast and she was apprehensive, but Paul didn't seem concerned. Surely he would look different if he had bad news. At last the orders were given and Paul turned to her.

  'What is it?' she asked again.

  'Good news in one sense. The authorities have agreed to let Amy go provided you live at home with her.'

  'But that's what I wanted in the first place! When? I must give in my notice at once.'

  'Steady, that isn't all.' He was silent, then took a deep breath. 'They have other conditions. They will only permit Amy to go if she is living with her father.'

  'But – she's terrified of him!'

  'I know, and I tried to explain. Two of the Barnardo's people went to see him, however, and they also saw Ned and his wife. They were impressed with Florence, and she promised to keep an eye on Amy although she could not have the child to live with them. Your father must have been very much on his best behaviour for they didn't see any reason why he should not have his daughter back, provided he could find a good house to rent and you kept house for him.'

  *

  Paul shook his head when Nell began to make plans for returning to England immediately. 'There's no haste. You can't do anything for a few days. I've arranged to take you to the Barkingside home to see the authorities there next week. You must see Monsieur Derval and ask him to release you from your contract. For Edwina's sake,' he added when she began to protest. 'He's already had Gwyneth dragged away – without the opportunity of explaining, and if you left too he'd never employ any of Edwina's girls again. He'd say they were all unreliable.'

  Nell bit her lip. It was worse than he imagined, for she did not expect Kitty to bother with details like contracts, and she would be going at the end of the week too. 'When can I go?'

  'On Monday. I mean to take a few days off and stay in Paris, then I'll travel back with you. Do you have time to show me some of the sights? It's several years since I was here.'

  Nell's emotions were in utter confusion. She wanted to be back home with Amy, yet it would be a wrench leaving all the friends she had made amongst the Folies girls. The prospect of living with Pa again filled her with dread, yet here was Paul proposing to spend time with her in this city which was so wonderful. Since there seemed nothing she could do about it, she determined to make the most of her time with him.

  She had to see Monsieur Derval in the morning, and he was flatteringly sorry to lose her. 'If you can ever come back,' he said in his attractively broken English, 'we shall be deligted to find a place for you. Many of our girls have moved on to perform individual acts, and I could see that as a possibility for you. But I honour you for your duty towards your little sister.'

  'He's an amazing man,' she said to Paul later as they had lunch together. 'He's been here for just a few years, yet he's done so much. He's got rid of the girls who used to haunt the Promenoir. Do you know they used to have a ticket system, and if they misbehaved they didn't have their tickets renewed, and they weren't admitted without?'

  Paul laughed. 'When I first came here I was a very young student. Where they have the new foyer there used to be a winter garden, and it was a regular meeting place. I found it most embarrassing! Those women were extremely hard to deter!'

  'You did deter them?' she asked, laughing, and then blushed at her temerity.

  'Indeed I did! They frightened me to death! But tell me, why is there a plain wall just inside where the old façade used to be?'

  'That's part of the reconstruction. Monsieur Derval is determined to do it all without closing the theatre. It will be knocked down when the new entrance is built. The walls are being covered again too, and the new walls are being made somewhere else and brought in in sections. The same with the ceiling.' She chuckled. 'A couple of workmen went to sleep on the false ceiling they built, and found the ladders had been taken away! There was a tremendous panic when they were heard banging.'

  'Will you miss it all very much?' he asked suddenly.

  'Yes, of course, but Amy is more important. And thank you for persuading me to come. You were right, I can look back on it now with some satisfaction.'

  'And pride. I thought the show was superb. Derval has made it all so much more spectacular than it was before. Does he always use that enormous staircase?'

  'Yes, he says it helps to get lots of people on the stage, which is less than twenty feet deep. That's very shallow compared even to some of the small Birmingham theatres. It seemed very odd at first entering down steps.'

  'I shall think of that tonight. I'd like to see Josephine Baker again. I've booked a box in the circle.'

  'She's good, isn't she? I've heard she's unreliable, but she's always been so kind to all of us. Why don't you come and see her tonight after the show?' she suggested impulsively.

  'I couldn't intrude.'

  'Why not? Her dressing room is always crammed full of people. And animals!'

  'Animals? You mean dogs? Derval uses dogs a lot, doesn't he, on stage?'

  'There may be dogs, but she has cats and rabbits and mice and birds! She even brought in a boa-constrictor one day.'

  Paul laughed in delight. 'Then I must meet her.'

  The next few days were enchanted for Nell. If she could forget everything else she could revel in the joy of Paul's company. Instead of lying in bed in the mornings, recovering from the late night show, she was up early and out with Paul. She had no rehearsals and they were able to spend all day together until she had to be at the theatre. Her dancing was better even than normal, and when he wandered amongst the audience during the interval Monsieur Derval heard many approving comments about her.

  After the show she went for supper with Paul, and together they found small hidden cafés where they sampled real French cooking rather than the fare provided for the many foreigners who came to visit the Folies-Bergère. On their last day they took a train to Fontainbleau and wandered in the forest, ate in the small village of Barbizion, and arrived back at the hostel at midnight.

  'Good night, Paul,' Nell said with a sigh. Tomorrow they'd be be leaving Paris. Never again would she have such an enchanted time. Never again would she be with Paul in the same companionable way of the past few days.

  'Nell.' He turned her towards him, and gently drew her into his arms. The kiss was sweet and gentle, but Nell felt as though she was drowning as she surrendered to her fever of desire and clung unashamedly to him. Then she drew away and without a word ran into the hostel.

  *

  'Let's get a couple of things straight!' Nell said firmly. 'You are not having any of the money Edwina pays me, I am keeping it for the rent and coal and our food. I've used my savings to buy furniture and cooking things for the kitchen and beds for me and Amy. If you want a bed and blankets and food you can buy them with your own money. You still have a job, unlike many. And you can do your own washing, too, I'm not messing about with your filthy clothes.'

  'I'm yer Pa, I've a right ter yer money!' he blustered.

  'No you haven't! You are only here because the people at the orphanage wouldn't let Amy come to me on my own. And it's a better house than the one you provided for us,' she added.

  'Yer thinks a lot o' yersen,' he jeered. 'You an' yer fancy talkin'. It's still a dratted back-ter-back 'ovel.'

  'With a little garden in front, and not opening into a smelly court.'

  'Yer'll be laughin' stock o' Ladywood, mekin' yer old Pa do 'is own washin',' he grumbled.

  'I'd rather all Birmingham laughed at me than have to touch anything of yours!'

  He changed tack. 'I want the big bedroom.'

  'You can't have it. We need more space, and besides, there's a lock and a bolt on the door. I'm not having you rummaging through our things when we're out. The little one's clean and empty,
and you've got a couple of hours to find some bedding before they bring Amy.'

  'It ain't right, treatin' yer old Pa like dirt!'

  'If you'd treated us properly I wouldn't. And I'm warning you, if you lay a finger on either of us I'm going straight round to the police and I'll tell them you killed Frank.'

  'An' then they'd tek Amy back ter Barkingside!'

  He glared at her, then strode out of the kitchen and away along the path which led between the tiny front gardens. Nell heaved a sigh of relief. She'd known it would be difficult meeting him again, but had forced herself to lay down the law, state the conditions under which she would live in the same house. Ever since Paul had told her in Paris that she could get Amy back, she'd accepted the necessity of sacrificing her own ambitions and returning to Ladywood. It was a hateful prospect, to be once more in the same house as her father, but the only way. Fortunately for her she had the truth about Frank's death to threaten him with. Whether she ever could bring herself to betray him, for he was her father after all, she did not know, and prayed it would not come to that.

  It had been so difficult leaving the Folies-Bergère. Occasionally she wondered whether it would have been better never to have been there and known the thrill of dancing on that famous stage, but generally concluded that Paul had been right. If she had never experienced it she would have had everlasting regrets. At least in the years to come she could look back on it with the satisfaction of having achieved so much. She could still dance. She would help Edwina and even dance in local theatres. She would not be able to go on tour, but in many ways that would be no loss. She hadn't enjoyed going to different lodgings every week, never getting to know a town properly before having to move on. With her solo dances she could fit into almost any troupe's routine with very little rehearsal. And for a few months, until she was twenty-one, Gwyneth was in Birmingham too. She refused to think of the time she and Paul had had together in Paris. That was too precious for everyday thoughts. She allowed herself to dwell on the ecstasy only at night, when she was alone.