Pretend To Be Mine

by P. G. Van

  Anjali frantically reached for the towel and wrapped herself as she stepped out of the bathroom dripping water all over the floor. She pushed her wet hair back as she made it toward the baby’s room. There were other people who worked at the house, but Dheeraj trusted no one but her with his precious baby. The rest of the staff mostly stayed on the lower floor and only went up to the upper level to clean when she took the baby out in the mornings to get some sun.

  She cursed under her breath when she almost slipped on the smooth marble floor. She pushed open the door of the nursery and let out a scream. Dheeraj stood in the middle of the room looking tired and terrified at the same time, and he was staring at the baby.

  “Why are you just staring at her?” Anjali barked as she picked up the crying baby into her arms comforting her.

  She held the baby in an upright position and tried to ease the baby back to sleep, her eyes on the man who stood rooted to his spot. His eyes were downcast, and she had no idea why someone wouldn’t even attempt to comfort the baby in some way.

  The baby finally settled down, and she put her back onto the crib mattress and looked at him. He looked lost staring mindlessly at the floor.

  “Dheeraj… outside.” She gestured for him to follow her as she stepped out of the nursery. She shut the door behind her and looked at him. She was so angry with him for not attempting to do something about a crying baby. She didn’t care she was dripping wet and only clad in a large fluffy towel.

  “Dheeraj, just because I am hired to take care of the baby doesn’t mean you let her cry when I am not around,” she growled.

  He shook his head but did not say anything.

  “I can only teach you so much when you are actually around.”

  “I couldn’t…”

  “You’ve held her before. I showed you how to pick her up from the crib, why didn’t you…”

  “I can’t deal with this now,” he said and started to walk away, and she stepped in front of him.

  “No, now… because the baby will have more of such episodes, and you need to handle it.”

  “I’m tired, and I don’t have the patience for…”

  “Dheeraj, this is what you want. It takes a lot of patience to take care of a child, and you need to—"

  He didn’t let her finish. “No… not when everything about the baby reminds me of my sister… even the way she cries. I can’t…”

  Something twisted in Anjali’s stomach when she saw a film of salt water in his eyes. She took a step back from him. “I’m sorry… I didn’t mean to…”

  “I still remember the first time Janu cried like that…” His voice trailed off as if it was too painful to talk about her.

  “Dheeraj, I’m sorry I yelled at you… I…” She had nothing to say, and as if it was the most natural thing to do, she put her arms around him. Water dripped down his shirt from her hair, but she stood holding him in silence and waited for his breathing to steady.

  “Where have you been the last ten days?”

  He pulled back slowly and smiled at her. “We need to talk. Do you want to go finish your shower?”

  “Yes.” She blushed. “I’ll see you in your office in fifteen minutes.”

  Ten minutes later, Anjali walked toward Dheeraj’s office after checking on the baby. Her nostrils picked up the musky scent of Dheeraj’s cologne as she walked toward the office. He was seated in one of the leather chairs, a drink in his hand.

  “Wow, looks like you had one interesting day,” she teased, looking at his drink.

  He tipped his glass toward her. “Would you like one?”

  “No, thanks. I don’t drink on the job.”

  He smiled weakly, his eyes lacking joy.

  “So, where have you been the past ten days? I was getting bored waiting around for my husband.” She winked.

  He took a sip of his drink and smiled. “I’m sure you did.”

  “What is the verdict? Is Raghav convinced you can take care of the baby?”

  “It’s not about the baby, he… Janu wanted a baby so badly. I wish she had met her daughter before she died.”

  “Dheeraj, I… I know you will do what it takes to keep the baby with you, but you need to start working on your parenting skills and not disappear like this for days.”

  He nodded, swirling the deep brown liquid in his glass. “No more traveling. I took care of placing people on the grounds at all other locations, and I can operate from here.”

  “That’s good.”

  “And if I have to travel, I will take you and the baby with me.”

  “Not until she gets her shots, and she needs to be a little older.” She smiled.

  “I don’t know how this is possible without you leaving the house, but people need to see us with the baby. My lawyer recommended a photo shoot for family portraits.”

  “Okay…”

  Family portraits of a fake family? But it was a family… something she hadn’t had in a while.

  Chapter 9

  The water from the shower was warm, and Anjali’s muscles came undone as the water rolled down her body. Reluctantly, she turned off the water and stepped out of the shower reaching for the towel that was being warmed on the heating rack. She smiled to herself feeling the warmth from the towel as it absorbed the moisture off her skin. She rolled her eyes shut and let out a moan enjoying the feel of soft, warm cotton that felt like a cloud surrounded her.

  “It feels like someone is hugging you, huh?” The familiar baritone made her eyes flutter open.

  Dheeraj stood in front of her wearing a t-shirt and running shorts. He had just gotten back from his run, and the sweat coated his skin adding more definition to his arms.

  “Did you have a good run?” She smiled at him.

  He nodded. “Did you have a good shower?”

  “Yes.” Her voice hissed.

  “How good?” Dheeraj took a few steps closer to her, and she held her ground.

  “Very good… it would have been better if I could enjoy my after-shower time in some privacy.” She winked.

  “Privacy? Aren’t we a married couple?”

  “True, but I like my…” Her words were lost in a low gasp when Dheeraj stepped right into her personal space invading it with the beautiful masculine scent that made her feel sensations she hadn’t felt before.

  She looked up at him as if questioning his intentions. He looked at her in silence for a long time before taking a half step closer to her. He moved his hands upward slowly to cup her cheeks with them. One thumb ran over her skin right below her lower lip wiping off the last bit of excess moisture. “We are married.”

  Anjali looked up at him unsure of what she wanted at that moment as she was lost in a swarm of sensations, her heart thudding hard in her chest, and newfound sensations and emotions gripped her entirety.

  “Can I kiss my wife, Geetanjali?” His fingers gently gripped her wet hair.

  She looked up into his dark eyes and let out a moan.

  The tugging of her hair made her raise her chin up, and a wave of pleasure rippled through her when his lips descended on her neck sucking and blowing alternatively on the water droplets. Her hands flew to his arms, her fingertips digging into his solid muscles.

  “So beautiful,” he murmured against her tingling skin.

  “Dheeraj…” She was in no position to say another word, let alone form a sentence.

  “I want you to be mine, make you mine in every way.” His voice was gravelly making her tremble deep inside.

  Whatever she was trying to say was no objection to his want, but it was lost as soon as his mouth came down on hers claiming her with an urgency that made her knees turn to jelly. He kissed her with hunger, and she welcomed it with equal passion. His hands roamed lower to the perfect curves on her back, and he pulled her to him to deepen the kiss.

  “Dheeraj…” Her voice was a deep groan.

  “Geetanjali?” His voice suddenly sounded aloof, and she felt a weird pressure on her shoulder.
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  “Are you okay?” Dheeraj sounded concerned, and her eyes fluttered open.

  The lamp on his side of the bed was turned on, and he was looking at her, worried. Heat crept up her cheeks when she realized she had dreamed the entire bathroom scene. She recovered quickly and smiled at him.

  “Yeah… just a bad dream.”

  He chuckled. “I’m sure you were dreaming about me.”

  Her breath got trapped in her throat in surprise, but she was thankful he had turned away from her to turn off the light.

  The rest of the night she stayed awake with a million thoughts around why she had that certain dream. It got her worried as to what led to something she had just dreamed about. Did she secretly intend for something like that to happen?

  She started to freak out as she lay only a foot away from him in his bed. It had been over two months since they were married. They’ve been sharing a bed and nothing more, but for the first time, she felt insecure because of her thoughts that she was convinced had manifested itself as a dream.

  “Go back to sleep.” His voice was soft, and yet it caught her by surprise.

  “I am.”

  “Are you okay?” he asked and felt him turn to her side, but she kept her back to him.

  “I’m fine.”

  Dheeraj stayed silent for a few moments before placing his hand on her shoulder. “I’m worried about the baby getting vaccinations.”

  She turned to look at him in the dim night light. “She will be fine. Very standard process.”

  “She is so little… only two months old.”

  “Babies are little, and she is technically three months old… premature born but that’s her age.”

  “I’m sure she will be thrilled she looks much younger than her age,” Dheeraj said, softly.

  She laughed out a moment later at his remark, and that eased her out of her weird thoughts.

  “She’ll be fine.”

  Anjali shut her eyes with the thought that her dream meant nothing and that her mind was playing tricks on her, conjuring what had happened a month ago when she ran out of the shower in a towel to comfort the baby and also ended up comforting Dheeraj.

  Later that day, she watched as Dheeraj set the baby into a car seat to go to the hospital for her vaccinations. He looked the part of a nervous father taking his child to school for the first time.

  “Dheeraj, we need a different car for her,” she said sliding into the back seat of the Mercedes sedan.

  “This is the safest car.”

  “No… we need something that is high rise… more like an SUV.”

  “Hmm… do you have a specific model in mind?” He turned to look at her.

  “I might.” She winked at him, smiling.

  “Are you a safe driver?”

  “Yes.” She rolled her eyes.

  “Very well then, let’s pick up the SUV on our way back from the hospital.”

  “You’re kidding.”

  He shook his head. “Were you kidding?”

  “No.”

  “So, why would you think I’m not serious.”

  She laughed. “Okay then… do I get to pick the color?”

  “A color the baby would like?” he teased.

  “Of course!”

  Thirty minutes later, Anjali and Dheeraj walked out of the pediatrician’s office, beaming. The doctor was surprised with the progress in weight with the baby and said the little one’s development was ahead of the curve.

  “Good job, I knew you were the right person.” Dheeraj patted her shoulder as she held the baby in her arms.

  She smiled looking at the baby. “She is a fighter.”

  “I am terrified about the vaccinations.” He confessed.

  “It will happen so fast, she won’t even know,” she assured.

  Ten minutes later, Dheeraj held Anjali tightly as she fought to free herself. “Don’t give her the vaccination. We want to wait another week.”

  “Anjali, you’ve done this yourself before, why are you overreacting like this?” One of her former colleagues asked as she prepped the vaccinations.

  What Anjali had not expected was the sudden panic attack she had about allowing a needle to poke through the baby’s skin—her baby. She kept her eyes on the needle, feeling the pain of the sharp object in the pit of her stomach.

  “Dheeraj, please ask them to stop. I can’t deal with her crying.” Anjali sobbed.

  Dheeraj cupped her face with his hands wiping away the moisture with the pad of his thumbs. “Hey, she will be fine.”

  Anjali let out a sniffle and buried her face into his chest. “I can’t even look.”

  Dheeraj wrapped one arm around her, the other covering her ear that was not pressed into his chest and suddenly she felt like she was part of him, his heart beating rapidly in his chest. She took a deep breath and realized her heart was racing just like his, and the way his hand caressed her back, she wanted to be there forever if that was an option.

  Anjali suddenly became aware of the strong, hard body pressed against hers. His muscles were tight like he was bracing himself for impact, but his touch was tender, just like in her dream. An inadvertent moan resonated inside her as she dug her fingertips into his flesh, pressing her cheek closer to him yearning for the warmth his embrace offered.

  She was lost in a sea of emotions. Being in his arms gave her a strength she didn’t think she had. It gave her confidence to face any challenge and the longing grew, the need to be close to him, make her heart beat to the same rhythm as his, breathe in the air that held his signature, and most of all, feel as one with him.

  “Geetanjali…” he crooned, running his fingers through her hair moving the veil of hair away from her face.

  Anjali moaned in response, hugging him, and a moment later, she became aware of the sounds around them. Inara was whining from the after-effect of the vaccination, and Anjali pulled away from him like she was hit by an electric shock.

  She stepped away from him, her skin tingling with the way he held her, but she ignored all of them as she took the baby back into her arms glaring at her former colleagues as they made fun of her for her panic attack.

  “Are you okay, Inara? Did that mean lady poke you on your butt?” Anjali asked making the hospital staff laugh.

  Dheeraj laughed and picked up the bag of baby essentials and followed her out of the vaccination clinic. “You almost caused a riot in there. I almost used all my strength to stop you from attacking the woman who was merely doing her job.”

  “We should have waited another week,” Anjali grumbled.

  “And?”

  Anjali shrugged. “Maybe I would not have attacked the nurse.”

  Dheeraj laughed and held the door for her as she placed Inara back into the car seat strapping her securely.

  “Hey,” he said squatting next to the car, his eyes level with hers. “Thank you for holding me. I was a nervous wreck in there.”

  Anjali laughed. “I should be thanking you. I didn’t hear anything when you held me like that. All I heard was your heart beating.”

  Something flickered in Dheeraj’s eyes, but it was gone before she could read it. “Are you ready to go pick up your ride?”

  “Inara’s ride,” Anjali corrected laughing as he shut the car door.

  Chapter 10

  “Look, she smiled at you.” Anjali smiled looking up at Dheeraj. It was her third month on the job, and he smiled.

  He looked at Inara and shook his head. “Babies don’t smile at this age.”

  She laughed. “So, you have been reading books about babies lately?”

  “Listening.” He took his precious niece out of the small bathtub and placed her in Anjali’s arms.

  “I’m impressed… you are on the path to being a good parent.” She winked carrying the baby to the nursery.

  He chuckled. “I learn from the best!”

  She laughed as she placed the baby on the cotton sheets. “Just so you know, I signed a media release for one of th
e local magazines to use Inara’s picture on their cover.”

  “Media release? Have you two been partying at night?” he teased.

  “Right… you guessed it.”

  “Why do they want her picture?”

  “I signed up to be part of a group, a few women who wanted to raise awareness and support for breastfeeding and bonding with their newborn.”

  “Oh… you should have no trouble bonding with Ms. Inara at all.”

  “True, but the mother-child bonding is something else and only…” Her voice trailed off when she saw a sadness looming in his eyes.

  “I’ll never be able to give her that,” he stated rather sadly.

  “You will give her something more… something no other child has, and she will never feel the lack of love.” Anjali patted him on his shoulder. “You just need to spend more time with her.”

  He ran his fingers through his hair. “I… I know, and I need to explain to a dozen people today how I am going to make up for both a mother and a father to her.”

  “What are you talking about?”

  “As a result of the appeal from Raghav that I should prove to them that I have the ability to care for Inara not just financially, I have a bunch of lawyers and social workers showing up at my office later today.”

  “To do what?” She seemed surprised.

  “I have no idea. Maybe they will interview me. They insisted on meeting me in my office, and I can tell the hour meeting will feel like forever.”

  “You’ll be fine. Does this mean you will not be joining her highness for lunch?” Anjali asked, and he shook his head. To spend more time with the baby, Dheeraj had been making stops at home on his way to a meeting or for lunch the past few weeks, and they have proven to be helpful for him to know his child better.

  “I’m afraid not. You’ll probably find me chained to my desk with the officials’ questions.” He laughed.