“You wouldn’t have gone, if you knew,” Samuel reasoned, feeling guilty to have upset her so much.
“That is true, Papa, because I don’t wish to marry Lord Barrett,” Dorothea said, her voice cracking. “I don’t love him.”
“Dorothea, sometimes we must make decisions about life that don’t make us happy but are for the better, no doubt,” Samuel said. “Come here, Dorothea.”
She moved towards the chair where her father sat, next to the fire that crackled in the fireplace. She sat on the floor next to his feet, and he took both of her hands in his. Samuel’s hands were cold and Dorothea rubbed them, to warm them up.
“My dear Dorothea, you and I both know my time is coming,” Samuel said. He saw she was about to protest but cut her off. “Before I go, I want to know my daughter is in good hands.”
“I don’t love him, Papa. We’re not the same,” Dorothea said, her voice pleading.
“He’s a good suitor,” Samuel reasoned before taking her small face in his hands and looking into her eyes. “I will die a happy man, knowing you’re in good hands. Will you not fulfil your papa’s last request?”
Dorothea’s eyes welled up, and the tears spilled, leaving a trail down her face. What could she say after this? “Papa, please don’t do this. You are there to look after me, I don’t need Lord Barrett to do that,” she reasoned, not wanting to give in without a fight.
“My dear Dorothea, I can not explain how much I love you, my child. I only want what’s best for you,” Samuel said, his voice choking. “If we refuse this proposal, Barrett will ensure no other suitor comes asking, he will ruin our reputation and make the details of my mistake public. He will have you feeling destitute and alone when I leave this world.”
The mention of her father’s mistake almost twenty years ago made Dorothea consider his request. Although her father thought otherwise, Dorothea knew why he was indebted to Lord Barrett and that he always had to listen to him. Lord Barrett had helped her father avoid bankruptcy and saved his business by testifying in his favour when her father had been accused of forging documents to receive a loan from the bank. Lord Barrett, already an acquaintance of her father’s and an investor in his business, was also on the judging panel. He had testified about her father’s credibility, letting a lower employee take the fall for the misdeed. Ever since then, Dorothea’s father was bending over backwards to ensure Lord Barrett was pleased, doing whatever it took to make it happen. Dorothea could not begin to fathom how they would be shunned if Lord Barrett were to reveal this to the public, well aware of the criticising and judgemental nature of the ton.
Dorothea was not as affected as her father was by what people thought or said about them. She was brave enough to face the backlash and would not sacrifice her life and happiness to ensure everyone around her was happy even if she wasn’t.
“I know you do not wish for this to happen and I understand, but I plead you to consider, Dorothea, love,” Samuel said, his voice breaking at the end.
“Papa… no, please don’t feel upset. It’s not good for your health,” Dorothea said, scrambling to hand him her handkerchief. Seeing her father tearing up and pleading made all her hesitation disappear. Dorothea would go to the ends of the earth if required to make her father happy. He may have made a mistake long ago, in desperation to make ends meet, but that did not mean he was a bad man. Whatever he had done, he had done it to be able to build a better future for Dorothea. Dorothea had never met her mother and remembered her father’s presence and devotion since gaining sense. He had played the role of both parents, mother and father, tenderly and with dedication. He had ensured Dorothea was happy, had everything she desired, and lived peacefully.
Dorothea felt her own eyes well up as she failed to count the innumerable blessings her father had bestowed upon her as she grew up.
“I’ll… I’ll do it, Papa,” Dorothea said, resigning to accept his one request of her. “I’ll marry Lord Barrett. You don’t need to worry about me any longer. You only need to focus on improving your health.”
“I love you, Dorothea,” Samuel said, kissing her head lightly.
“I know, Papa,” Dorothea said, knowing how much he loved her. “I love you too.”
If she doubted how much her father loved her, Dorothea would not have sacrificed her own hopes for her future nor conceded to marrying Lord Barrett, a man she thoroughly despised. It was no secret that she did not feel affection for him, but this decision brought peace and surety to her father. Hence, Dorothea made her mind to go on and become Lady Barrett in the near future. As long as it made her father happy, Dorothea would succumb to any request he made.
Chapter 3
Playing the Part:
D orothea felt irritation spike in her blood as she eyed the ring on her finger, weighing her down. She sighed, feeling resigned to accept her fate. A week had passed since Lord Barrett had announced his engagement with Dorothea. Ever since then, she had been made to attend a series of congratulatory dinners as his dear fiancée. She had to smile, blush, and dress accordingly while portraying the charade of being fond of Lord Barrett and being completely smitten by him. The first few days, Dorothea had involved herself in playing the part of a devoted fiancée, for her father’s sake and happiness. However, tonight she felt forlorn and low-spirited, not finding any motivation to act happy, not even for her father’s sake.
Tonight, upon Lord Barrett’s insistence, Dorothea’s father, Samuel, had been forced to throw an engagement party to commemorate and congratulate this event. Samuel had conceded, again, having no choice in the matter. He had bent over backwards, trying to ensure everything was perfect, and this hurt Dorothea, for she did not like putting so much pressure on her father. She knew they were short on money, not enough for them to be throwing such extravagant balls. Dorothea had envisioned her engagement ball to be different than the one that was being held tonight. For starters, she had imagined herself to be in love with her fiancé and excited for it. Another thing was her minimalistic nature. If it had been up to her, Dorothea would’ve skipped the idea of an engagement party altogether and settled for a small dinner with only friends and family instead.
However, neither of her conditions was going to be met, and she had to settle with what she could receive, without complaints or resentment. She donned her gown, picked by Lord Barrett himself, embellished with sequins. Dorothea pinned her hair nicely and put a bit of rouge on her cheek to accommodate for the lack of colour. She inhaled sharply, urging herself to step out of her room and head downstairs so she and her father could depart for the venue, due to their own house being too small for the guest list that Lord Barrett had finalized. Everyone was going to be there to congratulate Dorothea and Lord Barrett, and she wondered how she could pull off being the happiest girl alive.
Dorothea met her father downstairs, waiting for Lord Barrett to arrive. Lord Barrett had suggested they travel together in order for them to make an entrance together. Dorothea noticed the significant change in her father’s appearance since last week, not for the better, like she hoped every day. His eyes were sunken, his face pale, and he had lost more weight.
“You look beautiful,” Samuel said, taking Dorothea’s hand in hers softly.
“Thank you, Papa, you look handsome as always,” Dorothea said, kissing his cheek.
A knock on the door alerted them of someone’s arrival. Mrs Williams rushed out of the kitchen to answer the door as Dorothea picked up her shawl. She turned around to see Lord Barrett’s coachman at the door.
“Lord Barrett is awaiting your presence in his carriage,” the coachman said and moved to the side as Dorothea and Samuel headed to the carriage.
“Samuel?” Lord Barrett said, with a surprised expression when Dorothea and Samuel entered inside the carriage. “What on earth are you doing here?”
“Pardon, Lord Barrett?” Samuel asked, perplexed. Dorothea did not like that Julian addressed her father with such a careless and indifferent manner.
“You were supposed to go to the venue hours ago. Honestly, Samuel, can you be trusted with nothing?” Lord Barrett said, his nostrils flaring. “I cannot leave anything up to anyone but myself.”
“I’m sure it’s all going to be all right,” Dorothea said, feeling angry that he belittled her father so openly. “Regardless, it is only a gathering of friends and acquaintances.”
“Ah, Dorothea dear, you are so naïve. You must start picking up on these little things, no event is less important than another. It’ll do you good to understand this now,” Lord Barrett said, lightly scolding.
Dorothea scowled inwards, hating that he spoke to her as if she were an innocent child without the ability to form her own opinion.
“Yes, Lord Barrett,” Samuel agreed much to Dorothea’s chagrin and disappointment.
Often times, such as this moment, Dorothea was left wondering if being saved for any mistake, no matter how big, was worth the humiliation and torment Lord Barrett casually treated her father with. Dorothea remained silent for the rest of the journey, leaving the men to discuss business. Although her mind was occupied, Dorothea did not miss the lack of mutual and equal discussion. Anyone could notice that it was Lord Barrett who spoke and Samuel who agreed, without any objection, no matter what. They reached the venue and Dorothea felt grateful to get out of the small, confined interior of the carriage. She stepped out of the carriage, giving her gown a pat to settle the ruffled lace and seams. She took another deep breath, readying herself for the night ahead of her and headed towards the entrance of the hall.
A few guests had already arrived, and Lord Barrett led her to greet them while her father disappeared to another place, no doubt to check on the arrangements and banquet again. Dorothea mingled and laughed, responding when questioned with a smile to show she loved being on the arms of her fiancé. When more people had started arriving, Lord Barrett asked the orchestra to commence with the night’s music. As the first piece of music started ringing in the halls, Lord Barrett led Dorothea onto the floor for the first dance of the evening. As they moved to the notes perfectly, Dorothea could feel all attention on them. She felt herself blush, trying to focus on her legs and not trip. She would no doubt receive an earful from Lord Barrett if she messed up in front of all of his friends, family, and colleagues. Dorothea tried to keep her eyes averted from his gaze, knowing she didn’t want to share an intimate scenario such as this with him. However, she had little say in the matter, as this was required of her. As the first piece of music came to an end, Lord Barrett led Dorothea to greet more guests.
Everyone congratulated her, making it a point to pass on their blessings. Dorothea was grateful for such kind treatment, but it didn’t do much to settle the empty feeling in her heart. That is, until Lord Barrett introduced her to a dashing man, who made Dorothea’s heart flip with shyness.
“Duke Rutland, allow me to introduce my fiancée, Miss Dorothea Cavendish,” Lord Barrett introduced them to each other. “Dorothea, this is His Grace, The Duke of Rutland.”
“Pleasure to make your acquaintance, Miss Cavendish,” Rutland said, smiling coyly. For an unknown reason, Dorothea appreciated this smile, almost as if he was reassuring her.
“Likewise, Duke Rutland,” Dorothea said as Lord Barrett turned to head over to another elderly man, leaving the two alone. “I’m grateful that you could join us this evening.”
“Of course I had to attend to congratulate the newly engaged,” Rutland said, concentrating on Dorothea’s features. “I was there when your engagement was announced, alas we didn’t get to meet.”
“Oh, that’s lovely,” Dorothea said, feeling her spirits drop again, remembering her doomed fate. Dorothea tried to smile, showcase that she was the happiest and luckiest girl on the planet. However, for an unexplainable reason, Rutland’s understanding smile showed she didn’t have to pretend. Yet Dorothea gave another unconvincing smile to him, forcing herself to play the part she was destined to play forever more now.
“Ah, Dorothea dear, please come meet another acquaintance of mine,” Lord Barrett said, coming behind Dorothea. “Excuse us, Duke Rutland.”
“Of course, Barrett,” Rutland said, coolly, and it didn’t escape Dorothea’s notice.
“It was wonderful to meet you, Duke Rutland,” Dorothea said, smiling sincerely for the first time during the whole night. His returning smile dazzled her, making her want to stay and talk more.
“Likewise, Miss Cavendish,” Rutland said as Lord Barrett whisked her away to mingle with more guests.
***
Rutland observed Dorothea from the bar, noticing her every smile and gesture. Rutland had to admit she was a good actress, portraying her happiness convincingly to an untrained eye. However, Rutland was not convinced, aware of his surroundings and the emotions of people around him. He could see a certain sorrow in her eyes, masked by a duty to the role she had to play for the society she lived in. Rutland was intrigued, her angelic beauty beguiled him, her every smile made him want to investigate what her mind was thinking at that point.
Rutland knew Lord Barrett quite well and was acquainted with his dominant nature. A woman like Dorothea, naïve and gentle as she seemed, was deserving of a tender lover and fiancé. She deserved a loving and compassionate companion, traits Rutland knew Julian Barrett did not qualify for. He wanted to engage Dorothea in conversation again, understand why she seemed unhappy, what her worries were. Rutland held himself back, his respectful nature overpowering his desire to converse openly with a woman, engaged and already spoken for. He downed his glass of whisky, trying to turn his attention elsewhere. Her beauty and his attraction towards her would not do well for any of them, not with Julian Barrett hovering over her, watching her every move like a hawk. An altercation with Julian Barrett was not an idea that appealed to the duke.
Chapter 4
Hidden Desires:
D orothea flushed, recalling her brief encounter with the handsome and mesmerising Duke of Rutland. Dorothea chastised herself for feeling this way, what with only having spoken with him for a few minutes. Yet Dorothea could not push away the thought of his eyes that looked as if they were searching inside her soul, making her want to reveal all her sorrows and secrets. She groaned, remembering another detail from last night, her promise to attend a luncheon with Lord Barrett, as his fiancée.
The word made Dorothea’s tongue taste like metal, and she all but forgot about her father and his happiness as she listed a long line of bad things about her dear, dear husband-to-be. He was evil, that’s the word Dorothea thought fit him perfectly. No doubt, she would always be grateful to him for helping her father in dire need, when he had no one else to turn to. Yet Dorothea couldn’t lie and think he had done it with a good intention or out of kindness. His intention had been malicious and Dorothea would continue to pay the price for her father, long after he was gone. She wanted nothing more than to call Lord Barrett out on being a fiend, with his mind set to only look out for himself.
Dorothea dreaded the nearing time when she would lawfully be his wedded wife, for better or worse. The part that upset her, the inevitable worse in this relationship. Dorothea, although humble, knew she was pretty and knew it was one of the main factors why Lord Barrett wanted to marry her. The other factor was the pleasure he would get out of doing this to Dorothea’s father, who, no matter what, would be helpless in front of Lord Barrett. Dorothea tried to hold back the tears as she pushed her face into her pillow, wanting to scream out in frustration and anger. Her bedroom was the only space where Dorothea could openly express her anger. She maintained her composure in front of her father, knowing that seeing her conflicted and upset would only make him feel sad. Dorothea loved him too much to be the cause of his worries. Not when he had so many more things to worry over, most importantly, his health.
As Dorothea got out of her bed, she wondered who would be present at the luncheon. It was being held at Lord Barrett’s business partner’s residence. Dorothea tried to deny but failed to
hide the fact that she truly only wondered if Rutland would be present. She knew she was doomed to fall if she carried on feeling attracted towards him. However, the fact that he had her swept in one encounter, more than her fiancé had been able to in so many months, was hard to ignore.
***
Rutland listened to Lord Wilson, the host of the luncheon, trying to focus on what he said. Yet his attention was focused on the enigmatic Dorothea standing across the room with her fiancé, Lord Barrett. Oddly, the sight of the two standing together as one unit looked comical, with her smiling unconvincingly yet again. However, what surprised Rutland more was his irritation that he was being forced to listen to Lord Wilson, while he could saunter over and converse with the newly engaged instead, appeasing his inner desire to discourse with Dorothea. Just on time, Lord Wilson wrapped up his conversation.
“That, my dear Duke Rutland, is why the weather is faltering each year from the routine trends,” Lord Wilson said, a science enthusiast.
“Ah, that sounds about right, Lord Wilson,” Rutland said, smiling. “If you’ll excuse me, Sir.”
“By all means,” Lord Wilson said, turning to his next victims to share more ideas of science.
Rutland shook his head, fond of the man’s dedication and passion. He looked up and saw Dorothea looking at him but averting her gaze as soon as he looked back at her. Even from afar, he could see her cheeks turn red, embarrassed to have been caught staring. Rutland cleared his throat, heading towards Dorothea just as Lord Barrett left her side to get a new drink.
“Miss Cavendish,” Rutland said, smiling coyly. “How lovely to meet you again.”
“Afternoon, Duke Rutland,” Dorothea said, feeling her heart beginning to race.
“I thought I saw you looking at me. Thought I should stop by and chat with the future Mrs Barrett.” Rutland said, wanting to see if the sincere smile would be replaced with the unconvincing one. Indeed, it was.
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