Dorothea felt her heart drop, the clear threat in his words making her take a step back and re-evaluate. She saw all the more reason to call off the engagement, seeing how petty he was to threaten her late father’s reputation in order to gain her approval. Yet Dorothea was also constrained, knowing she could not allow herself to do anything that would tarnish Samuel’s reputation. It was her duty now to protect it, more than ever. “The end of the month should be fine,” she said softly, concealing her tears.
“I thought so, too,” Lord Barrett said, raising his glass of wine in her direction. “To us.”
Dorothea raised hers as well. However, she toasted to her pending doom.
***
Dorothea waved as Lord Barrett’s carriage rode away from the front porch of her house, letting her tears fall. She felt helpless and lonely, with nowhere to run or hide, to protect herself. Although she had a month left to be free, she knew she already was imprisoned. Dorothea turned around, opening the front door to go in when a courier man called out,
“Afternoon, ma’am. Is this the Cavendish Residence?”
“Yes,” Dorothea answered, wondering who had written this time to falsely console her.
The courier man searched in his satchel and took out a letter, handing it over to Dorothea. She looked at the envelope, with her address and name written on the front. She headed inside, opening the envelope and taking the parchment out. The name and title of the writer on top made her heart flip. It was from the duke.
Dear Dorothea,
I am so very sorry for the loss you are suffering from. I, indeed, understand the pain of losing a parent. They are, after all, our protectors. Nothing anyone says will do much to console you, hence, I won’t go on to say more. But I will say this, as human beings, we are strong. We have the power to deal with so much. You can will yourself to move on, find the strength to cope. I don’t lie when I say, you are one of the strongest women I’ve met. I have seen it in you. You will never be held back by anyone, you will always rise a free-spirited woman. Don’t let anyone confine you or tell you otherwise, more so now than ever before.
Regards,
Rutland
A lone tear escaped Dorothea’s eyes as she reached the end of the letter. Her first, genuine smile in the last week graced her lips, making her find the comfort she was desperately seeking. Rutland had been the first person to give her advice instead of consoling her, meaninglessly. She felt emotional, having found a true friend in him and now, something more perhaps. That thought was halted as the bitter memory of the conversation with Lord Barrett came to her mind. She put the letter on the desk, taking a quill and paper to write a reply, with a heavy heart.
Respected Duke Rutland,
Thank you for writing.
Regards,
Dorothea Cavendish.
Dorothea sealed the envelope, hating herself for writing such an ambiguous reply. She wanted to write so much more, tell him how she felt, open her heart but she knew she shouldn’t. She was to be married in a month. She had no right over her heart and life any longer.
Chapter 7
Declaration:
“I ’ll be right back, I must go talk to an acquaintance,” Lord Barrett said to Dorothea, and not bothering to wait for a reply, he turned and left.
Dorothea felt out of place, yet again finding herself the centre of attention at a tea party. However, tonight, the reason for the attention was not her engagement to Lord Barrett or her beauty. Tonight, the attention was focused on her with pitiful and sad glances, keeping the news of her father’s passing in mind. Even though it had only been two weeks and Dorothea had wanted to not attend, Lord Barrett had forced her to dress and come. She felt upset to be here, acting as if everything was perfect in her life and Lord Barrett was her caring, devoted fiancé. He no doubt wanted to showcase how he was supporting her and was present and attentive. Lord Barrett could fool everyone around them but he couldn’t ever achieve Dorothea’s favour. She would forever despise him and reject him. She would never give her heart to him.
Dorothea had come, hoping she’d be able to see Rutland, yet he was not present and Dorothea felt more upset. She regretted writing such a short reply to him and hoped he wasn’t displeased. For unknown reasons, Dorothea did not want Rutland to be displeased with her. Right on time, almost as if God had listened, Rutland entered the room, smiling warmly. His eyes fell on Dorothea and she blushed as he sauntered towards her.
“Miss Cavendish,” Rutland greeted, his smile sincere and warm, almost as if he was consoling her through this small gesture. “How are you doing?”
“I’m doing well, Duke Rutland,” Dorothea said, grateful for the support. “Thank you for the letter.”
“It was the least I could do. I hope I didn’t overstep my mark in the letter,” Rutland said, his smile wavering with tension.
“Why do you think that?” Dorothea asked, knowing her letter was the reason.
“Mere observation,” Rutland said, his eyes crinkling. “Where is Lord Barrett?”
“He’s with an acquaintance,” Dorothea said and wondered if she could share the news of her marriage with him. “We’re getting married earlier than planned, by the end of this month.”
Although she hadn’t expected herself to, she teared up as she told him, noticing a fleeting upset look pass his eyes before turning into concern. Before she knew it, Rutland was leading Dorothea out of the room with the many guests, sneaking her into the foyer on towards the back porch. As soon as they were alone, away from the world, Dorothea broke down, succumbing to the inner turmoil she forever carried within her chest.
“Shh, Dorothea, don’t cry. Your beautiful eyes only deserve to shine and not weep,” Rutland said, lifting her face to make her look at him. Dorothea gasped, seeing a strong emotion in his eyes and pulled away from him.
“No, this is wrong. I’m engaged. I’m going to get married in a month,” Dorothea said, reprimanding herself for getting this close to Rutland.
“But you’re unhappy. I can see it in your eyes, you’re forlorn when you’re with him,” Rutland said, turning her around. “I know you don’t want to marry him, Dorothea.”
“No, it’s my duty. I must marry him. It’s too late,” Dorothea said, starting to panic. “My papa wanted me to be settled down and looked after.”
“Dorothea, you are an exquisite woman. You don’t need to settle for Barrett,” Rutland said, willing himself to let his thoughts flow. “You can choose to end your relationship with him. You… you can choose me, Dorothea.”
Dorothea gasped, hearing him say these words. A warm feeling spread inside her chest as he pulled her close again, this time caressing her face lightly with his fingertips. Wherever he touched, her skin burned in desire.
“I am in awe of you, Dorothea Cavendish. I am falling in love with you, more and more, every second of every day,” Rutland declared, opening his heart to her completely.
Dorothea blushed, having longed to hear these words. Just as she was about to open her mouth to reciprocate and share her own feelings, reality came knocking on her door. If she broke off her engagement with Lord Barrett, he would tarnish her late father’s reputation. “I can’t. We mustn’t be here. I have to go,” she said, scrambling out of his embrace to leave. If she stayed any longer, she knew she would give in to him.
“Why? You can choose me. I love you, Dorothea, and I can provide for you better than Barrett,” Rutland said, confused why she wouldn’t consider his request.
“Sometimes wealth is not everything, Duke Rutland,” Dorothea choked out, turning around to flee. Rutland stared after her, his heart shattering to see her leave.
***
“Miss Cavendish, there is a visitor here to meet you,” Mrs Williams said from the door of Dorothea’s bedroom.
“A visitor?” Dorothea asked, perplexed.
She had not expected anyone to visit today, having received no prior announcement. Even if she had, it would’ve gone unanswered for Doroth
ea had locked herself in her room, not wanting to meet anyone. She was heart-broken, completely shattered since Rutland had told her how he felt three days ago. Dorothea had felt a surge of hope as the words escaped his mouth, declaring his love for her. Yet it had soon been replaced with agony when she realised she couldn’t reciprocate those feelings, no matter how much she wanted, not without risking the promise she had made to her father. Dorothea had felt a strange kind of happiness when he had told her he loved her. It was the first time Dorothea had wanted to say it back, open herself to him. But she was restrained by the duty she had to undergo, in order to protect her father. She couldn’t live with herself if she was the cause for her father to lose his long-built reputation and the respect he had gained.
“It’s The Duke of Rutland, he said you were expecting him,” Mrs Williams said, confused. “I’ve seated him in the parlour.”
“No!” Dorothea gasped before gathering her composure, “I mean, I…”
“What is it, dear?” Mrs Williams asked, feeling concerned.
“Please inform him that I am ill and cannot meet him,” Dorothea said, knowing distance was the best option for her to be able to carry on and marry Lord Barrett.
“If you say so, miss,” Mrs Williams said, hesitating for a moment to allow Dorothea to rethink. When Dorothea made no move to change her mind, Mrs Williams left.
After waiting a moment, Dorothea quietly followed behind her, unable to hold herself back from seeing him one last time. She looked into the parlour, visible from the top of the stairs, making sure to conceal her body with the wall.
***
“Pardon me, Your Grace, but Miss Cavendish is ill-disposed. She has sent her best regards and apologises for being unable to meet you,” Mrs Williams told Rutland but he could see through the well-rehearsed lie.
“I must insist, it is of utmost importance that I meet Miss Cavendish,” Rutland told her, his expression serious.
“I’m so very sorry, Sir, but she won’t be able to meet you,” Mrs Williams said with finality.
Rutland hesitated, wondering how rude it would be to go knock on Dorothea’s bedroom door and force her to talk to him and meet him. He knew it would be considered outrageous and decided it was time for him to leave. His heart felt caged ever since she had run away from him, leaving him feeling confused and hurt. Rutland knew she loved him too, he had seen it in her eyes when he told her he loved her. Why was she pushing him away then? Did she not see how he was better for her, more so than Lord Barrett? What hold did he have on her that Rutland could not free her from? This thought process was unsettling to Rutland, making him feel unworthy of her love. Rutland had decided something last night in case Dorothea refused to talk to him, of course he had seen it coming. He had still come, hoping to prove his inner fears wrong.
“Could you please inform her I’ll be leaving London for my country estate this evening?” Rutland said, with a heavy heart. He looked to the top of the stairs, feeling that someone was present. Sure enough, he noticed the shadow, knowing who it was. “I’ll be leaving then.”
Rutland turned around, heading towards the main door. He hesitated once, at the end of the stairs. Thinking better, he left, without looking back. Dorothea watched the door close, seeing all her happiness that was within her reach leave, never to return. Tears spilled from her eyes, her heart fighting to run after Rutland and make him stay, make him save her. Yet Dorothea knew there was nothing to be saved, nothing to be salvaged. Her life was hers no more.
***
“Make sure you have all information gathered within a week. No more time is available,” Rutland said to a man, the door for his carriage open and waiting.
“It’ll be done, Your Grace,” the man said, turning around to walk away and fulfil his task. Rutland got into the carriage, closing the door behind him. Now, all he had to do was wait.
“Let’s go,” Rutland informed the coachman, and they departed for the lands of Rutland, away from London. Away from Dorothea.
Chapter 8
The Forlorn Bride:
D orothea tried to pay attention to what Lord Barrett was saying, but as routine, her mind was wandering elsewhere, wanting the unimaginable and forbidden. She wanted Rutland’s presence, to be around him and listen to him instead of Lord Barrett. Today, a week away from their wedding, Lord Barrett and Dorothea were finalizing the last details of the ceremony. Well, Lord Barrett was rambling, informing her of what he had planned while Dorothea added a meek nod now and then or a feeble yes. Unlike tradition or what Dorothea would’ve preferred, Lord Barrett was going all out with the preparations.
Instead of hosting a small ceremony with just friends and family and then a modest luncheon, Lord Barrett had sent out invitations to every one of his single acquaintances. The phenomenon was being held at Barrett Residence, with the finest chef cooking the courses. Dorothea was indifferent, she did not care anymore about what happened. She merely did what Lord Barrett would tell her, without objection. She had always imagined herself to be the giddy, blushing bride, excited to marry the love of her life. However, life was cruel, and she was a sad maiden, destined to marry a man she despised. She couldn’t muster up a smile or even pretend to be half as happy as she should’ve been. She did not participate in the preparations, did not involve herself in tasks that required her opinion. She had given up, leaving it to Lord Barrett to decide as he desired.
Dorothea had not picked her wedding gown, not bothered to care what she wore, for she knew regardless, she would still be miserable and forlorn. What could she do when her heart was elsewhere, longing for the love she could never have? Dorothea only felt dread when she thought about spending her life with Lord Barrett. A week from now, she would be his wife and would be living with him. A week from now, regardless of what she wanted, Dorothea would not have an opportunity to free herself. Despite the fact that her future husband stood in front of her, Dorothea felt empty and hollow. She kept imagining a life with Rutland, kept imagining what would’ve been if she had said yes to him.
Dorothea longed to run away, go to Rutland and declare her own feelings. She wanted to tell him the truth and tell him to protect her and marry her. Yet Dorothea knew it would be futile, and Lord Barrett would expose her father. Hence, Dorothea smiled, answered when spoken to, and forced herself to forget the love she yearned for.
***
“Were you able to gain the information I asked for?” Rutland asked his informer, the same man he had sent off to do a secret task.
“Yes, Your Grace,” the informer said, gravely. “I’m afraid it is far worse than you imagined.”
“What has Lord Barrett been up to exactly?” Rutland asked, hoping to figure out what restrained Dorothea to stay with him.
“Sir, he is involved in some very peculiar exchanges.” The informer said, “Specifically, money laundering. Lord Barrett goes around the law, to acquire states, property, and bank notes, evading taxes. His influence in the bank allows him to get by without exposure.”
Rutland was not surprised to hear this. He had always wondered how Barrett had come into his wealth, without having any strong inheritance. Rutland felt appalled, hearing of this from his informer, confirming his suspicions.
“Another thing, Sir.” When Rutland didn’t reply, the informer said, “From what information I’ve gathered, Lord Barrett has been known to come to the aid of those people who found themselves questionable by court. That wasn’t surprising, keeping in mind his influence and personality, one that allows him to dominate a situation.”
“I suppose,” Rutland said. “What more did you gather from this?”
“Sir, he has done so, in order to make the person in question indebted to him, allowing him to receive multiple favours,” the informer said, his expression sombre. “The astonishing part is, said people were framed each time, without much evidence and only an anonymous tip.”
Rutland did not need to hear whom the anonymous tip came from, smart enough to connect the dots
.
“The said tip, from my sources, came from Lord Barrett himself or a person he paid to do so,” the informer said.
“Will you be able to investigate into his involvement with the Cavendish family?” Rutland asked, wondering if this revelation had any connection to Dorothea’s marriage with him. “I need to know as soon as possible.”
“I’ll get on it, Sir,” the informer said, turning to the door and leaving.
Rutland watched him leave, his mind running fast, trying to understand and comprehend all the information he had gained. This was important, Rutland thought. It would make sense for Barrett to have such information related to the Cavendish family, ensuring they did his bidding. Dread filled Rutland’s heart as he thought about his dear, magnificent Dorothea, caged by the bloodhound that was Julian Barrett. Rutland wanted to help her, he could see she was unhappy. He wanted to make her understand that nothing could hurt her, so long as she didn’t allow it to. Rutland knew Barrett had a tendency to phrase his sentences in a subtly threatening way, making the other person feel vulnerable. Rutland could only imagine what turmoil Dorothea was in, lonely and in the hands of a wretched man like Barrett.
Rutland vowed to protect her and bring Barrett to the justice he deserved, ending the misery he projected onto the people in his life.
***
“No! No! No!” Dorothea gasped, thrashing around in her bed as her nightmare consumed all her senses.
She saw herself in her room, except now it was dark and empty. The walls started closing in, making her shrink into the corner and cower. The walls kept coming closer and closer, suffocating her and blurring her surroundings. She saw a light through the bottom of the closed door. Dorothea wanted to run towards it, grasp it before it disappeared forever leaving her in the dark abyss. Dorothea willed herself to move, the light from the door dimming slowly and slowly. She tried to force herself to stand, but an invisible force weighed her down, not allowing her to run and escape.
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