Circle of Friends Complete Collection

by Susan Mallery

  Rachel blinked. “Excuse me?”

  “Carter mentioned you’d been engaged before but had broken things off. I’m glad. That means you’re sensible and romantic. A good combination.”

  While she appreciated the praise, she wasn’t sure she deserved it. “I made a mistake with each of them,” Rachel admitted. “I thought I was in love, which is why I said yes. But I wasn’t.”

  “Exactly. Romantic enough to see the possibilities and sensible enough to know what was required to make things work. Now you have Carter. He’s my son so I’m biased, but where are you going to do better?”

  Nina patted her hand and walked toward the booth. Rachel stayed where she was as the other woman’s question echoed in her brain.

  Where was she going to do better? Carter was everything she’d ever wanted in a man and she practically became a puddle every time they were close. So why wasn’t she pushing for a real relationship? Why was she content to keep her distance?

  She didn’t have any answers, and it was a little unsettling. When she tried to dig deeper, emotionally, she found only that dark scary place that made her want to ignore the whole issue.

  Love meant loss. She’d learned the lesson early and well when her family had been killed and she’d been left totally alone. Since then she’d found the courage to let some people in to her life. Her friends, her kids. She could care about them and survive the fear. But anything more was out of the question. The potential for loss was too great—she wouldn’t risk it. Which was why Carter was perfect for her. He didn’t want any more than she could give.

  * * *

  “I CONFESS, I NEVER thought of the ‘after’ part,” Rachel said as Carter took the end of a hammer to the booth and started pulling out nails.

  “What did you think happened?” he asked. “That the festival would end and the booths would disappear?”

  “Sure. I thought they went back to their festival booth village and lived happily with others of their own kind.”

  He looked at her. “Sometimes you’re a little weird, you know that?”

  “I’ve been told.”

  She ached from the long day spent at the booth. She’d had a full contingent of parents to handle the sales, but she’d been in charge. Except for a quick lunch break, she’d been on her feet since seven that morning.

  “I need a long bath,” she said as she moved her feet to shoulder-width apart, then bent over. Her fingers curled against the asphalt of the playground. She put her palms on the rough surface and pressed down until she felt a stretch in the back of her legs.

  After grabbing her left ankle, she pulled herself to the side, then repeated the movement on her right side. When she straightened, she found Carter staring at her.

  “What?” she asked.

  “You’re really limber.”

  She grinned. “Yes, I am. I haven’t had much time for dance class lately, but I do my stretching.”

  He muttered something and went back to work on disassembling the booth.

  Had that been a flicker of hunger in his eyes, she wondered happily. Did he, too, feel the pull between them? She started to tease him about it, then stopped herself.

  She and Carter had a good working plan. Getting intimate again would only complicate the situation and neither of them wanted that. She was still feeling a little unsettled by his mother’s visits and her claims that Carter was the perfect man. Or if not perfect, then at least perfect for her.

  “Your family all stopped by,” she said to change the subject. “Your mom told me you’d mentioned the festival to them and they came by to be supportive.”

  He twisted the booth into three separate parts. “It’s a fund-raiser. I wanted to help.”

  “The booth building and destruction was more than enough. You didn’t have to do that, but thank you for saying something. It was nice.”

  “They like you.” He tossed the smaller pieces into the back of his truck.

  “I like them. You’re lucky, Carter.”

  “I know.”

  He straightened and suddenly they were standing way too close together. His dark eyes seem to draw her in, so that she took a step toward him without even meaning to.

  His broad shoulders offered the perfect resting place for her hands, so it wasn’t really her fault that she put them there. He was warm and strong and she couldn’t seem to stop looking at his mouth.

  Nearly everyone had already left and there was only the call of a few birds in the playground. To Rachel, it felt as if they were alone in the world.

  He rested his hands on her waist. “We have to stop doing this,” he told her.

  “Why?” she asked.

  “Hell if I can remember.”

  And then he kissed her. He bent down and claimed her mouth with a possessive heat that branded her. Even as she wrapped her arms around his neck, she surged toward him, her body moving without permission. As if it had no choice but to be next to him. His thighs pressed against hers, his chest flattened her breasts and she knew she could stay in his embrace forever.

  She parted and he swept inside her mouth. His tongue touched hers with a slow, erotic stroke. The thrill stole her breath. She clung to him, letting him claim her, then following him back and claiming him.

  Need grew until she had to have him or die. She was already aroused and hungry. There were—

  The sound of a child’s laughter echoed in the late afternoon. She told herself it didn’t matter, that she was allowed to kiss Carter, but she didn’t quite believe it and even if she did, he’d already pulled back.

  “Great idea, bad timing,” he said.

  His eyes were dark with passion. Wanting tightened his expression until she knew for certain he was a man in need.

  She wanted to know that his desire was specifically for her. That she was different from all those who had come before. Except she wasn’t, and she couldn’t be. None of this was real, remember?

  “You all right?” he asked.

  She nodded. “I get a little confused. It’s the kissing. You do it better than anyone I’ve ever, well, kissed.”

  “You’re pretty good, yourself.”

  “So speaks the voice of experience.”

  He winced. “Ouch.”

  She smiled. “Come on, Carter, you can’t avoid the truth. You’ve dated more women than the average professional football team.”

  “I doubt that.”

  “Close enough. I’ve had two serious boyfriends in my life and I was engaged to each of them.”

  “Not at the same time, right?”

  Even hungry for his kiss and not sure how to reconcile what was happening, she liked that he could still make her laugh.

  “Not at the same time. There were a couple of years between them. My point is I’ve never done the casual thing before.”

  “Probably for the best, considering what happened that first night.”

  She touched her stomach. “Right. So we should stay with our plan. Pretend dating.” And that meant there should be a whole lot less kissing.

  “I can do that,” he said.

  “Me, too. So we don’t have a problem.”

  “Not even a little one.”

  “Good.”

  “Great.”

  They stared at each other and she fought against the need to throw herself at him. Just one more night, she thought. One long, slow, sexy night in his bed, his arms. She wanted his hands on her body, his tongue in her mouth and his...

  “Rachel?” His voice sounded strangled.

  “Yes?” Was that breathy whisper really her?

  “You gotta stop thinking like that. I can’t stand it. In fact, why don’t you head home? I’ll finish up here.”

  She almost said no. She almost issued the inv
itation she sensed he would accept. But then what? Could she make love with Carter a second time and not get emotionally involved?

  What if the worst happened? What if she fell for him? He was the guy most likely to walk away, which would leave her emotionally broken and bleeding on the side of the road.

  “I can’t do this,” she told him.

  “I’m not asking you to.”

  “Right. You’re not.”

  She made the rational choice then and collected her car keys. Then she walked across the parking lot and into the relative safety of her small car.

  Once she’d started the engine, she drove directly home without once looking back. She knew if she looked back, she would turn around. And if she turned around, she might be lost forever.

  CHAPTER NINE

  RACHEL HANDED OVER her car keys and walked into the waiting room of the local auto repair shop. She was diligent about regular oil changes for her little car, although this might be one of the last ones she’d have to have done. The two-seater convertible wasn’t practical for a single mom with a newborn. She would have to start looking around for something bigger. Maybe a four-door of some kind. Something with a good safety record and side airbags.

  Maybe Carter could help her find one that was...

  She flopped down onto one of the plastic chairs and held in a groan. Not Carter. She hadn’t seen or talked to him since the fall festival the previous weekend and she preferred things that way. Better to take some time and get him off her mind and out of her system.

  She’d been doing a pretty good job, too, not thinking about him more than three or four hundred times a day. Now if she could get that down to an even hundred, she could consider herself on the road to recovery.

  The problem was she missed him. He was so good to have around. Not just because he was gorgeous—which he was—but because he was fun and charming and caring and thoughtful. And those qualities made her once again wonder why she was so dead set on avoiding anything personal with him.

  But every time she thought about talking to him about something more than their pretend relationship, she felt shaky and afraid. Nope, this was better.

  She opened a home decorating magazine, but couldn’t concentrate on any of the articles. Then she flipped through a travel magazine, but that didn’t hold her interest, either. She was the only customer and knew she wouldn’t be waiting long, but still she felt restless. Giving in the need to move, she walked out of the waiting room and paced the sidewalk of the main road.

  This was the part of town that catered to those with cars. There were several body shops, a place that sold custom wheels and a motorcycle sales-and-repair place. She stared at the latter because it made her think of Carter. That’s where he was working. Or at least pretend work while undercover.

  Pretend work, pretend relationship. Was anything in his life real?

  A beautiful blonde stepped out of the sales office and onto the sidewalk. Three men followed her. They were all talking intently. Then a fourth man joined them and Rachel nearly shrieked in surprise. It was Carter!

  She glanced around, not sure what she should do. Not call out to him, of course. That was his police world and she wasn’t supposed to know him.

  She turned and hurried to the waiting room. When she was safely back in the small, glass space, she hid behind a magazine, while watching the ongoing conversation. The men seemed to come to some kind of agreement, because they all shook hands. Then Carter put his arm around the blonde and gave her a long, lingering kiss on the lips.

  The magazine fell to the floor. Rachel half rose, then sank back onto the seat. She blinked several times, but the image didn’t go away. There was Carter sharing a very intimate moment with another woman.

  Her chest ached, it was difficult to breathe and she had the strongest urge to cry. Only this time the tears wouldn’t be brought on by pregnancy hormones. Instead they would be the result of anger and betrayal.

  How could he do that? How could he kiss someone else? They were...

  What? she thought. What were they doing? Not dating. Not for real. It was all fake, done for the benefit of his family. Hadn’t she made it clear that she didn’t want anything from him? Hadn’t she made it clear she wasn’t any more interested in getting involved than he was? So none of this should matter.

  Except it did and she hurt.

  “Hey, Rach, the car’s done. Oil’s changed and everything else checks out fine.”

  She turned toward her mechanic. “Thanks, Evan. What do I owe you?”

  Twenty minutes later she found herself driving around town. Her work day was finished, she was tired and confused and the best place for her was home. Only she couldn’t seem to make herself go in that direction, so she made turns until she pulled in to the parking lot of the Blue Dog Bar.

  She stared at the neon sign, then at the door. The need to go inside got stronger and stronger until she finally climbed out of her car and walked across the parking lot.

  It took her eyes a second to adjust from the bright afternoon to the dimness of the bar. She glanced around and saw Jenny drying glasses. Rachel wasn’t sure why she thought Carter’s ex-girlfriend could help. Maybe it was because Jenny knew the man but seemed to have let him go and moved on. Maybe it was because Carter’s sisters and mother liked and trusted her. Maybe it was the first symptom of a pregnancy-induced insanity. Regardless, Rachel made her way to the bar and slid onto a stool.

  Jenny put down her dishtowel. “Hi, Rachel. This is a surprise. Looking for Carter again?”

  “No. I have his cell number now.”

  Jenny grinned. “Good for you. So what’s up? You want something to drink?” Her gaze dipped to Rachel’s midsection. “A seltzer or soda?”

  “Just water, please.” She glanced around at the quiet room and remembered how busy it had been that first night, when she’d come here with Diane. “How long have you worked here?”

  “Mostly all my life,” Jenny said. “My dad owns the place. Or he used to. I’m buying him out, a little every month. Dan jokes that when we finally own the place outright, we’ll license the name and become a chain. I’m thinking one bar is plenty.” She handed Rachel a tall glass of water with ice and a slice of lemon. “Here you go.”

  “Thanks.” Rachel sipped the water. “I, ah, I’m not sure why I’m here. I didn’t know where else to go. You know Carter and you seem nice.”

  Jenny shook her head. “That doesn’t sound good. Is there a problem?”

  “I don’t know. Maybe. I was getting my oil changed and I went for a walk while I was waiting. I saw Carter across the street with a bunch of guys. There was a blonde there, too. Tall and really beautiful. He kissed her. Seriously kissed her. For a long time. I know what he does and I know this is probably some part of that, but still...”

  Jenny pulled up a stool and sat down. “Carter doesn’t cheat. He has a lot of flaws, but that’s not one of them. He doesn’t lie or even bend the truth. If you two are together and he was kissing someone else, then it was about work. Trust me. I’ve known him for a lot of years. Despite plenty of opportunity, he’s never once strayed.”

  If he were in a relationship, Rachel thought glumly. But they weren’t. Not really. So who was the woman?

  Jenny leaned toward her. “Look, I’m sorry about before. That I told his mom you were pregnant. I didn’t know you and I wanted to protect Carter. He’s important to me. Now, I kinda wish I’d kept my mouth shut.”

  Rachel smiled. “It worked out okay, but thanks for apologizing. I adore his family, but they’re a lot to deal with.”

  “I know. That’s what’s so great about him. Listen, Carter is terrific, but there will always be women in his life. His family, his old girlfriends, even me. He adores women and they adore him.”

  “I’ve met a few of the old girlfriend
s. Some of them are scary.”

  “I know.” Jenny smiled. “There were a couple who made it clear that they wanted him back and they didn’t care that we were together.”

  “I ran across one of those, too. They’re everywhere. He says he’s sworn off women before, but with so many exes strolling around, I don’t see how that’s possible.”

  “They were short breaks,” Jenny told her. “Sometimes measured in hours.”

  Rachel ran her finger down the length of the glass. “What happened with you two? Why did you break up?”

  “Honestly? I wanted him to fall madly in love with me and he never did. I don’t think Carter’s ever been in love. Not romantically. He thinks he’s immune, but I believe he’s going to fall hard one day and I can’t wait to see it. Maybe you’ll be the one.”

  Rachel had her doubts about that. “He’s had plenty of opportunity.”

  “If you’re going to be with him, you have to be able to handle what happened before. Those other women exist.”

  “So I’ve seen. Some of them can’t seem to let go. You did, though.”

  “I was pretty broken up when Carter and I split, but it worked out for the best. Dan is amazing. If I’d stayed with Carter, I never would have met him.”

  “But you’re still a part of Carter’s life. Isn’t that strange?”

  “It was at first,” Jenny admitted with a smile. “But after a while I realized I missed his family more than I missed him. Liz and I had become close. So I just butted in. No one minded, least of all Carter. Which is good. I’m the only child of a single dad. I never had brothers or sisters. Now I have both. The Brockett clan is good at taking in strays, and I’m happy to be one of them.”

  Strays? Rachel had never thought of herself that way but she supposed she fit the description, which didn’t make her comfortable.

  “You should talk to Carter,” Jenny said. “Ask him about the kiss.”

  “But that would be so logical and mature. I don’t think I’m ready for that.”

  “It’s your call. Better to get the question answered than wonder.”