Lone Wolf

by Anna Martin

  “We’ll come and let you know as soon as there’s any progress,” the officer promised.

  “Okay. Thanks.”

  Leo concentrated all his energy on not fussing. That was the last thing Jackson needed right now. He also needed to keep his mind occupied and away from whatever had happened in the brewery—speculating wouldn’t help anyone.

  With Jackson moping around the house, Leo went to the kitchen and set the coffeepot brewing again, then checked the contents of Jackson’s fridge. There was a surprising amount of salad in there, with decent enough fixings for lunch.

  He had a feeling if he asked Jackson if he wanted to eat, he’d say no, so Leo took it upon himself to make them a roast beef sandwich each, with a side salad on the plate and a bag of chips to split. There was beer in the fridge too, but Leo avoided that in favor of the lemon-lime soda Jackson preferred.

  Jackson was moping in the family room when Leo found him.

  “I made lunch,” he said.

  Jackson looked up, the scowl melting off his face. “I’m not hungry.”

  “I figured you should eat anyway.”

  When Leo walked back into the kitchen, Jackson silently followed.

  “You didn’t need to do this,” Jackson said, shaking his head as he looked at the meal set up on the table.

  “I needed to do something.”

  At that, Jackson nodded and took a seat. “Thank you.”

  For a minute, it was awkward. Leo didn’t want to bring up their argument, or ask what Jackson had been doing since Leo saw him last. He wanted to tell Jackson about his mom, how she was sorry, how it had all been a mistake. A misunderstanding. But that seemed trite and almost irrelevant. He’d explain later.

  “How have you been?” Jackson asked, breaking the silence.

  “Okay. Busy at the hospital.”

  Jackson nodded. “That’s good.”

  “My mentor wants me to be working solo by the spring, which is going to be a push, but she thinks I can do it. I’ve got my own caseload now, and a few classes I’ve set up.”

  “My mom is probably going to want to talk to you at some point. She’s really interested in how they make the children’s hospital a holistic environment, or something.”

  “Yeah. There’s a few different charities working in partnership at the moment. It’s trying to keep the whole experience as stress-free for the kids as possible.”

  Jackson set his sandwich back down on his plate. “This is really good, by the way. Thanks.”

  Leo offered him a small smile. “You’re welcome.”

  After lunch they moved back into the family room, and Leo turned the TV on, to some crime show that was involved enough to keep their attention but not likely to make Jackson think too much about what was happening outside.

  Leo wanted to crawl into his lap and just hold Jackson again, to soothe him and promise everything was going to be okay. But he couldn’t know that, and empty promises weren’t what Jackson needed to hear.

  “I know I don’t have the right to ask you for anything,” Jackson said as they settled into the couch. He leaned forward and rested his elbows on his knees, his hands clasped in front of him. “But… I want to try. I’ve been fucking miserable the past few weeks. And I know you don’t owe me anything, and you definitely shouldn’t do this just for my benefit but… but….”

  “Jackson,” Leo said softly.

  “Yes?”

  “Here’s what you need to do. I want you to go and get a full physical, with a mental health assessment, a review of any medication you might be taking, and an STD check.”

  Jackson blanched, but nodded. “That sounds reasonable.”

  He reached over and cupped Jackson’s cheek in his palm, and gently ran his thumb back and forth. Jackson leaned into the touch. “I care about you,” he continued, feeling like this was just as important. “I want you to be happy.”

  “I’m going to fuck this up. Probably pretty regularly.”

  “Oh, I know.”

  Jackson smiled at that. “I’ll try not to. I just wanted to warn you in advance.”

  Leo smiled as Jackson kissed his thumb.

  “Consider me warned.”

  TELLING MITCH was the worst.

  “So, what, you’ve just forgiven him? Like that?”

  “No, not like that.”

  Leo got comfortable on a barstool at Flair and propped his chin on his hand. The club wouldn’t be open for hours, but Mitch was setting up for the evening crowd and stock checking before the night manager started. Nightclubs always looked weird during the day without the lights and the music and the atmosphere. It was almost sad.

  “Then tell me, princess, how it is. Because I thought we were done with him.”

  “I dunno, Mitch.”

  “You don’t know? You don’t know, huh? Then let me tell you how I think it is. Jackson called, and you went running back to him like a little bitch.”

  “It wasn’t like that.”

  “What the fuck is stronger than margaritas? I need a drink.”

  Mitch moved seamlessly around the bar, gathering up bottles and a blender and dumping them all in front of Leo.

  “He apologized.”

  “Right. Good for him.”

  “I don’t even know if we’re back together. We’re just… I don’t know. Not staying apart anymore.”

  “That sounds fucking stupid to me.”

  “This is me not disagreeing with you. What are you making?”

  “Double-shot margaritas. I’m too pissed at you to be creative right now.”

  Leo didn’t dare laugh.

  “Keep going,” Mitch said, waving his hand in encouragement.

  “With what?”

  “You’re obviously working your way through this shitstorm by talking about it. I’m curious as to where you’ll end up.”

  “Gee, thanks.” Leo rubbed his hands over his face. “Hey, did I ever tell you about Justin?”

  “A little. Tell me more.”

  Justin had been Leo’s boyfriend through most of their junior and senior years at Berklee. He was quiet, sophisticated, artistic, incredibly beautiful, and Leo had loved him more than anything in the world.

  “It was that first love thing, you know?” He pulled a plastic straw from the tub on the bar and started playing with it. “I thought I’d learned a lot from being with him, even though it obviously didn’t work in the end. But we figured out what a healthy relationship looks like and boundaries and personal space, all that shit. Then I met Jackson and got so caught up in werewolves and all your fucking drama that I forgot all of it.”

  “I’m hearing a lot of self-blame for something that wasn’t your fault.”

  “No, but I have to take some responsibility. I didn’t tell him about all the bullshit Human Protection League stuff, and I should have.”

  “You didn’t tell me about that either.”

  “No, because I didn’t think it was a big deal!” Leo exclaimed. “I get it now, I do, honestly. He fucked up, I know that. But I did too. We both want to make the effort. To make sure this works.”

  “Huh,” Mitch said, and slid Leo’s drink across the bar. “Interesting.”

  “What the fuck is that supposed to mean?” Leo slurped the icy drink, then winced. “Jesus. You weren’t kidding about double shot.”

  “What’s the sex like?”

  “Fuck’s sake.”

  “No, really. I wanna know.”

  “Of course you do, you’re a pervert.” He contemplated lying. “Honestly? We’re not doing much.”

  “And?”

  “You’re really determined to make me suffer, aren’t you?”

  “I’m enjoying this more than you could possibly imagine,” Mitch said drily, and sipped his cocktail. Then gave a little shudder when he got a taste of the alcohol.

  “It’s okay. He’s nervous… skittish. He’s not as repulsed by the whole thing as I thought he might be, though. We’ll get there.”

&nb
sp; “You were expecting the ‘full-blown, romance, soft focus, warm light, staring into each other’s eyes’ thing.”

  “I fucking hate you.”

  Mitch barked a delighted laugh. “I love being right.”

  “Not that. Not exactly that. You just hear all the time about when wolves have sex with their soul mates for the first time and it’s supposed to be magical. It’s not magical, Mitch. It was disappointingly average.”

  “Disappointingly average.” Mitch sighed with exaggerated content. “That’s beautiful.”

  “You’re such an asshole.”

  “I am, yes. Look, Leo, I don’t mean to sound like a fucking broken record here, but he treated you like shit. It doesn’t sound like a relationship of two equals.”

  Leo sighed. “Yeah, you’re right. I don’t think it’s gonna be easy. But I think he’s worth it.”

  “I can’t believe you,” Mitch said, shaking his head. He slurped at his margarita. “Does he bottom?”

  “Holy shit,” Leo exclaimed, throwing his hands in the air. “You ask the most inappropriate questions.”

  “It’s an honest question, is what it is,” Mitch said. “I’m curious.”

  “Curiosity is going to kill the catty little twink in a minute.”

  “Ooh.”

  “What do you think?” It was a rhetorical question, but Mitch was likely to answer it anyway.

  “I think…,” Mitch said, then paused to take another sip of his drink. He was dramatic like that. “I think that if you even went so far as to touch his asshole, he would tense up like a fucking oyster and have the most epic of freak-outs.”

  “You might be surprised,” Leo murmured. His mind drifted back to the shower they’d shared at Jackson’s house. “Whatever. It’s not like it’s a big deal.”

  “No. But you like to top, right?”

  “Yeah. Sure.”

  “Could you really give that up forever just because your partner was so selfish they wouldn’t bottom for you?”

  “I don’t think that’s fair,” Leo said. He stirred the slush in his glass around with the straw. “I wouldn’t expect someone—Jackson or anyone else—to do something in bed they weren’t comfortable with. Hell, even if things with Jackson don’t work out, I could still find someone who doesn’t like to bottom.”

  “Sexual compatibility is important. Anyone who says it isn’t is bullshitting.”

  “You see things as so black-and-white.” Leo shook his head. “Relationships are about compromise, Mitch. Give and take.”

  “Yeah, and you like to give it and take it. So you should find someone who likes to take it and give it.”

  Leo huffed a laugh, then dropped his forehead to the bar. “I can see him, Mitch. I see this guy and he’s got this really sweet, quiet nature, and he guards himself so fiercely. Every time I think I’m getting somewhere with him the walls go rushing back up again. I just want him to let me love him.”

  “Oh, sweetheart.”

  Mitch grabbed Leo’s hair and yanked him up.

  “Fuck! Ow!”

  “You listen to me,” Mitch said. Leo rubbed the sore spot on his scalp. “You have to pull yourself together. This woe-is-me bullshit has to stop. You make him see that you’re the most amazing thing that’s ever happened to him or you leave his sorry ass behind.”

  “Mitch?”

  “What?” he snapped.

  “Are you in love with me?”

  Mitch snorted. “Bitch, please.”

  Leo laughed then, a real belly laugh that bubbled up out of him and sent all the tension from his shoulders floating off into the empty club. He slumped back down onto the bar, propping his chin on one hand.

  “In that case, I’ll have another drink.”

  AFTER HE left Flair, Leo called Jackson and invited him over, not wanting to leave Jackson alone for too long. If there was one thing Leo had learned, it was that Jackson would bury himself behind all sorts of walls and hide from the world, given half a chance. Leo intended to drag him back out into the real world.

  Jackson had been reluctant, to the point where Leo seriously considered driving all the way out to his house and bringing him back to Spokane. The last thing Jackson needed was to brood away in his big old house while he could still smell the remains of the brewery. That wasn’t going to help anything.

  When he finally relented, Leo called up Rosario’s and ordered comfort food to be delivered, because Jackson deserved that, but he also deserved to not have to go out and socialize tonight.

  The occasional explosion from the TV screen startled Leo from time to time, because apparently Jackson was the type of guy who suggested the most recent X-Men movie as a good date-night watch.

  Leo was all about the geeky boys. But seriously?

  After they’d finished Rosario’s chicken parm with huge quantities of garlic bread, Leo had curled up in his usual corner of the couch, not entirely sure where he stood with Jackson yet. They were back together, sort of, but Leo didn’t know the terms.

  Less than ten minutes into the next movie, Jackson had shuffled around so his head was on Leo’s lap and Leo could pet his hair.

  Comfort.

  Leo could do that.

  “Leo?”

  “Hmm?”

  “Unless you’re not telling me something, your phone is ringing. Vibrating, actually.”

  “Oh, shit.”

  Jackson hid another snuffly laugh in Leo’s knee and eased up enough to let Leo get a hand between them and on his phone.

  “It’s Mitch.”

  “Your roommate?”

  “Yeah.”

  The phone stopped ringing, revealing the lock screen and three more missed calls.

  “Shit. I should probably call him back.” Jackson rolled onto his side, letting Leo up so he could call Mitch back. “This better be good,” he muttered as it rang.

  “Hello?” a woman’s voice answered. Jackson was still close enough to Leo’s face to be able to hear the conversation through the phone. He leaned in a little closer.

  “Hi. Yeah. This is Leo. Who’s this?”

  “You’re Mitchell Wood’s roommate?”

  “Yeah. What’s going on?”

  “I’m Debbie Morris, victim liaison officer. Mitchell has been taken to Deaconess Hospital,” she said.

  “Shit, what happened?”

  Victim?

  “He has been assaulted and has suffered a few serious injuries. We’d like to keep him in for observation overnight, but he has expressed a strong desire to go home. The doctor has indicated that he’s not prepared to release Mitchell unless he has someone to watch him.”

  Jackson shifted away and reached for his shoes.

  “Okay. I’m on my way.” Leo hung up. “Shit,” he said again.

  “I’ll take you,” Jackson said immediately as Leo rubbed his hands through his hair.

  “You don’t have to do that.”

  Jackson shrugged. “I was planning on staying here for a while longer anyway. It doesn’t make any difference to me.”

  Leo nodded and stretched. He quickly pulled on a jacket and shoes, not watching Jackson do the same, and went to turn the TV off before they ducked out into the cold.

  The weather had shifted in the past week, with a deep chill settling over the whole Northwest. By the time they got to Jackson’s truck, Leo was starting to shiver.

  “It only takes a moment to warm up,” Jackson said as he pulled away from the apartment block. “I’ll put the heated seats on too.”

  “This thing has heated seats?”

  “Yeah,” Jackson laughed. “It was worth the investment.”

  “I’d say.” Leo wriggled in delight as his butt started to warm up.

  “What happened to Mitch?”

  “I don’t know,” Leo said. “I should probably have asked. He was working tonight, though.”

  “What does he do?”

  “Lots of things.”

  Jackson took the hint and dropped the subject. />
  “Do you ever work here?” Jackson asked as they headed for the bigger hospital downtown.

  “Occasionally,” Leo said. “Occasionally I go over to do a planned session. But most of my work is at Spokane Children’s Hospital.”

  Jackson nodded at that and continued to drive.

  The parking lot at the hospital was enormous, and though they were outside visiting hours, it was still busy. They drove around in circles looking for a space, and then Leo went inside to find out where they needed to go while Jackson paid for their parking.

  Leo was waiting at the entrance when Jackson finally made it inside.

  “Okay?” he asked.

  “Yeah. This way.”

  It took forever to get Mitch out, probably since it was past midnight on a Saturday and the poor nurses were run off their feet. Leo sympathized and tried to keep both Mitch and Jackson calm as they got antsy with each other and having to wait in general.

  Mitch looked like shit. His nose was broken, as was his wrist, which had been set in a cast. He had a few cracked ribs, a split lip, and a cut on his hairline, and by morning he’d likely have two very black eyes.

  He wasn’t saying much about how he’d accumulated all those injuries either. Mitch was a lover, not a fighter, or so he’d always claimed. But he was also a wolf, with the strength and power that came with it. Leo wanted answers, but for now, their main priority was getting Mitch a whole heap of painkillers and into his own bed.

  It was past two in the morning by the time they traipsed back out to the truck.

  “You’ll want the front seat,” Jackson said. “There’s no doors at the back.”

  He pulled his own seat forward to let Leo into the back before going round and helping Mitch ease himself into the passenger seat.

  “Thanks,” Mitch mumbled.

  “You want anything on the way home? I don’t mind stopping. Liquor store? Starbucks?”

  “Right now,” Mitch said slowly, “I could murder for a hamburger.”

  “McDonald’s it is.”

  Jackson took them to the McDonald’s that was open all night and ordered a really ridiculous amount of food, especially considering the amount of Italian food he’d eaten earlier.

  “You want anything?” he asked Leo, twisting around to look at him in the back.