Unsound

by Chantal Fernando

  We share a moment, watching each other in silence.

  “We should get going,” he finally says. “Or we will be late.”

  We both stand up, he with Bella in his arms.

  “Clara?”

  “Yeah?”

  “Any man would be lucky to have you. Any man.”

  Yeah, just not the one that I want.

  *****

  I was drunk.

  Summer let me finish my shift early just so I could drink with her and her brother, Xander. Xander is a handsome man with shoulder-length brown hair and deep hazel eyes. He is covered in tattoos and is also one of Tag’s best friends.

  “Another shot?” Summer asks, slurring her words.

  Xander chuckles and shakes his head. “Slow down, Sis. Clara looks like she’s done for the night.”

  I nod in his direction. “Yeah, that’s enough for me.”

  “Not much of a drinker?” he asks.

  I hiccup. “No, how can you tell?”

  He laughs harder and puts his arm around my shoulder casually, then lowers his voice. “So what’s going on with you and Tag? He’s been looking like he wants to strangle me all night just because I’m sitting next to you.”

  “They’re both in denial,” Summer adds, lifting her hair off her neck and tying it in a ponytail. “The sexual tension is thick, but apparently, they’re only friends.”

  I purse my lips at her. “Thanks for that.”

  “Anytime,” she replies chirpily.

  “We are just friends. Trust me, I’d know,” I tell them in a dry tone.

  Xander squeezes my shoulder gently. “Don’t worry, it won’t be long before he realises.”

  “Realises what?” I ask, touching my hot cheek. My face always heats up when I drink.

  “That he wants you. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him act possessive over a woman before, and he hasn’t taken his eyes off you all night.”

  Really? I look towards the bar and find that Xander is right. Tag is watching me. I quickly look away and grab one of Summer’s shots.

  “I’m going to need this,” I mumble, tipping back and letting the tequila roll down my throat. Xander quickly pushes Summer’s other shot away and out of my reach. Probably a smart move.

  “I haven’t seen Tag show any real interest in anyone since Kaley,” I hear him say to his sister.

  Summer shrugs. “He likes Clara.”

  “He doesn’t. We’re friends, and I’ve accepted that.”

  Kind of.

  “If he wants to hook up with someone, then I’m going to have to deal with it because,” I lower my voice, “Men have needs.”

  Xander and Summer share a look.

  “Men have needs,” I say louder. “He’s going to take someone home sooner or later. Maybe even tonight.”

  I glance at Tag to see a woman talking to him. I point in his direction. “See.”

  Xander cups my face, turning it in his direction, a mischievous look on his own. “Stop taking about men and their needs. How drunk are you?”

  “Not drunk enough that I don’t know what I’m doing.”

  “Good,” he murmurs, his throat working as he swallows. “I’m going to prove to you that Tag wants you.”

  “And how are you going to do that?” I ask, wide-eyed.

  When his lips come down on mine, I have to admit, I didn’t see it coming. His lips were soft, and he tasted amazing. But he wasn’t Tag.

  Xander pulls back after a few of the longest seconds of my life and flashes me a boyish grin. He lets go of me and turns just in time to have Tag pull him up by the shirt.

  “What the fuck?” Tag barks, looking like he wants to kill his friend. I look at Summer who is staring at the two men with wide eyes.

  “She said she was single,” Xander replies, trying to sound innocent. “And that you didn’t want her.”

  Tag’s eyes find mine, and I suddenly wished I had the power to turn invisible. He and Xander disappear outside, and Summer and I decide to head to the dance floor. I try and push Tag away from my thoughts.

  It is harder than I thought.

  The ride home is tense. Tag is silent, the air thick between us. When the silence becomes too much, I open my mouth to speak.

  “Tag—”

  “Did you like it?” he asks, his voice emotionless. I see his fingers tighten on the steering wheel as he waits for my response.

  “Like what?” I ask, my gaze still on his hands.

  “The kiss.”

  I swallow. “Tag, you know that I—”

  “Did you like it?” he asks again.

  “I didn’t know he was going to—”

  “Fuck,” he grits out, cutting me off once more. How rude.

  “Will you just listen for a second?” I yell, losing my temper. A muscle ticks in his jaw as he stares straight ahead at the road, but he stays quiet.

  “Why are you angry right now?” I ask in a low tone. “No, I didn’t want or expect the kiss, and Xander was only doing it to piss you off anyway, but Tag, you don’t want me. You can’t not want me but not want anyone else to have me either. It doesn’t work like that.”

  Tag sucks in a breath. “It isn’t that I don’t want you Clara. I just can’t give you what you need.”

  “I’ve never made any demands of you,” I find myself saying. “I just wanted you, no matter how you came. I didn’t ask for anything.”

  “So what,” he replies. “You would be interested in something casual?”

  Would I?

  I lick my lips, gathering my thoughts before I answer. “I would be.”

  I would rather that than nothing at all. I was desperate for him, any part of him that he would give. How sad was that? I’d take anything he gave me and be grateful for it.

  He curses and darts his gaze to me. “You sure about this, Clara? I don’t want to hurt you, and I’m telling you right now that I don’t want a commitment. I’m not looking to be tied down, and that isn’t a reflection of you, because you’re amazing. Perfect. It’s all me.”

  I nod. “Okay, I get it.”

  “Do you?” he asks, reaching his arm over and taking my hand in his. “I’m going to be honest with you. I wanted you the second I saw you. You were so fuckin’ beautiful and innocent looking. With that red hair, holy fuck. I was hard within seconds. Still, with wanting you so much since the second you stepped into my life, I still fucked another woman that one night. That’s who I am, and you can’t change me, so if you want to, then we’re both going to be wasting our time.”

  Ouch, that hurt. But then again, the truth usually does. I didn’t like thinking about him with another woman. It made my chest hurt.

  “Are you saying that you’re still going to fuck around if we’re together?” I ask, eyebrows furrowing.

  “That’s the thing, Sweetheart. We won’t be together. Casual is casual.”

  So he wanted me to be his fuck buddy? Disappointment fills me, but I try and hide my reaction. If he sees it, he will retract his offer and put me back in the friend zone, which was the last thing I wanted.

  “I see,” I murmur. “What about the age thing? I thought that was an issue for you.”

  He sighs. “It was. It is. But I want you more than I care about your age anymore. You’re not a virgin, are you?”

  I shake my head. I wasn’t, but I’d only slept with one other guy twice, so I wasn’t exactly experienced either.

  “You don’t have to act like this is an inconvenience to you,” I mumble, turning my head to look out the window. He runs his hand up my thigh, his thumb circling.

  “It’s not that,” he says. “I really like you, Clara, and I don’t want to mess this up.”

  “Then don’t.”

  “Do you promise that no matter what happens you won’t just leave?” he asks.

  “Leave?”

  “Yeah. Storm out of the house and leave before you’re ready. If we fight or whatever, you still have to stay, because we’re friends first, no matt
er what.”

  He parks the car in his driveway while I think over everything he’s said. I don’t realise how lost in my thoughts I am until Tag opens the passenger door and helps me out. When he lifts me in his arms, carrying me like a bride, I forget everything. I forget why this is such a bad idea. I forget that I’m going to get hurt. All I think about is how good his arms feel around me, how right. How could something that feel so good be wrong? In Tag’s arms, I feel safe. I feel like I’m home. How could he come to mean so much to me in such a short amount of time?

  “You didn’t answer me,” he says once we’re inside his house. He walks into my room and lays me down on my bed.

  “Wh-what?” I ask stupidly, distracted by his close proximity.

  “Promise you won’t leave.”

  “I promise,” I say just before his mouth comes down on mine. I clutch the back of his neck with both hands as my lips finally get a taste of him. He kisses me hungrily, his tongue pushing between my lips and exploring my mouth. I’ve never been kissed like this. It is possessive, wet, hot. Perfect. He tastes like mint and smells like he always does, a fresh scent of soap and cologne. I think I could get wet from that scent alone. He makes a sound in the back of his throat, one that turns me on even more, but then he pulls back from me. Looking down at me with a gentle look on his handsome face, he leans back down and kisses the tip of my nose.

  “Been wanting to do that for so damn long,” he says quietly, cupping my cheek with his hand.

  “Then why didn’t you?”

  “You know why,” he murmurs. “I’m going to go to bed.”

  “What?” I gasp, sitting up. “But I thought—”

  “You thought what?” he asks, sounding amused.

  Was he not as affected as I was by the kiss?

  “Did you not like the kiss?” I ask, feeling confused and a little embarrassed. I was a little out of practice, but I thought the kiss was fucking magical.

  “What? The kiss was fuckin’ hot, Clara. Of course I loved it. It was with you.”

  “Then why… I thought we would…”

  “You want me to fuck you right now?” he asks bluntly, looking mildly surprised.

  I look down at my hands. “I would like that. I mean, that kiss got me pretty… you know…”

  “Wet?” he supplies, his voice going low and husky. “Are you wet, Clara?”

  I could feel my cheeks burning, but my desire was the emotion in control. “Why don’t you find out?”

  A curse word falls from his lips. I wait patiently as he watches me for a moment then pulls his t-shirt off with his arms over his head. I swallow hard, taking in his ripped body. The light flowing through from the hallway gives me a nice view, and I take a moment to appreciate it.

  “You’re beautiful,” I blurt out as he undoes the button on his jeans, the action drawing my gaze.

  “That’s my line, Sweetheart,” he replies, chuckling softly.

  The jeans come down, revealing strong, muscled thighs and an erection straining against black boxer shorts. When he pulls them down, my jaw drops. Wow. Now that, my friends, is a penis. I mean, I’ve only seen one other, but even I know it’s perfect. Long, smooth, and thick, it juts out from his pelvis, standing tall and proud.

  “Wow,” I whisper under my breath.

  “Clara,” he rumbles, obviously done with his patience. “Undress for me.”

  Scooting to my knees, I pull off my black top and unclip the back of my bra. I suppose I should try and be all sexy and seductive, but I just want the clothing off me. I want him inside me—now. My breasts jiggle as I throw the bra on the floor then step off the bed and pull down my black skinny jeans. Once they are gone, left in only a black thong, I stand in front of him and let him have his fill.

  “Never seen anyone so sexy,” he says, stepping towards me. “You’re beautiful, Clara.”

  I like that the thinks so.

  Hands grip my waist, and then his mouth captures mine once more, this time harder, rougher. More demanding, his control now gone. Just how I want him. Cupping the globes of my ass in each of his hands, he lifts me in the air and throws me gently down onto the bed. Bracing himself over me, our naked bodies touching, he gives me one last time to change my mind. “Are you sure? Be fuckin’ sure, Sweetheart.”

  “I’m sure.”

  “You on birth control?” he asks.

  I nod.

  “Can I come inside you without a condom?” he whispers in my ear, his sweet, warm breath sending shivers down my spine. “I’m clean. You know I’d never put you in danger.”

  I trust him. “Okay.”

  He cups my breasts with his hands, feeling the weight of each one and swiping his thumb over my nipples. “I’m going to make you feel so good. I’m going to make you come with my mouth, then with one finger, then with two. Finally, I’m going to make you come all over my cock, and you’re going to fuckin’ love every second of it.”

  He lowers his mouth to my breast, and I stop thinking.

  I just feel.

  My whole body is sore, but in a good way. Stretching my arms above my head, I blush as I think about all the things Tag did to me last night. He was insatiable, and nothing was off limits with him. Looking at the empty space beside me, I wish he had stayed the night. I understand why he didn’t though, because that wasn’t something people in a casual relationship would do. Or would they? I don’t know the rules on what we were doing, or if there were any. All I know is that last night was phenomenal, and I wanted a repeat. Tag has a way of making me feel comfortable in my own skin, and last night, I turned into someone I didn’t know I could be. I was wild, free, uninhibited. Sliding out of bed, I head to the bathroom to clean up and have a quick shower. Feeling bold, I walk into the kitchen completely naked. Maybe Tag will fuck me on the kitchen countertop.

  “Holy shit,” I hear a familiar male voice mutter.

  I turn my face to the voice in horror. “What are you doing here?”

  I quickly look for something to cover my body with, and finding nothing, I run back to my room and quickly get dressed, my face burning with total mortification. God, he would have seen my ass jiggling on my exit too. How am I going to face him? Stepping out of the room, I walk up to Xander and point a finger at him. “That never happened, do you hear me?” His lips tremble, and I know he’s trying hard not to laugh. The jerk! “Xander!”

  “Looks like a lot has changed since last night,” he says then starts laughing, obviously unable to stop it this time. “You have nothing to be ashamed of, Clara. Your body is smoking hot.”

  I cover my face with my hands. “The one time I try and do something out of my comfort zone and this has to happen. Only me, I swear!”

  Xander chuckles. “I’m not complaining.”

  I move my hands away and give him a look that lets him know I’m far from impressed. “Where’s Tag anyway?”

  “Having a shower. He smelt like sex.”

  “Fuck. Just keep embarrassing me. Kill me now, Xander,” I say, sitting down next to him on the kitchen barstool.

  He holds his stomach, obviously aching from laughter. “It’s not that bad. I like the fact that the carpet matches the drapes.”

  “Shut up or you won’t leave this house alive,” I grit out, fuming.

  “Oh come on, I’m just playing around. You’re stunning, Clara. If most women had that body, they’d be parading around the house butt naked too.”

  That so wasn’t the point.

  “Whatever. Yesterday was the first time we’ve met, and we’ve already kissed and you’ve seen me naked. You already know me better than most do.”

  His face softens. “We’re friends. I won’t tease you anymore, okay? Well, I’ll try.”

  “I’d appreciate that,” I reply in a dry tone. “What happened to your lip?”

  He touches the cut with his index finger. “Tag decked me for kissing you, what do you think?”

  “He hit you?” I ask, my eyebrows hitting my hairline. Th
e man confuses me so much it isn’t even funny.

  “Looks like it was worth it though,” Xander says. “He realised what was right in front of him by the looks of things.”

  Not exactly, but I didn’t want to tell him details about our relationship. Or lack thereof, depending how you looked at things.

  “What brings you by?”

  He shrugs. “Can’t a friend drop by unannounced?”

  I blink slowly. “You wanted to see what happened between us, didn’t you?”

  He nods, a smirk playing on his lips. “Yeah. I was curious. Sue me. Tag’s been my friend for a long time.”

  “Yet you haven’t dropped by until now because you wanted some gossip,” I tease, arching an eyebrow at him.

  “Guilty.”

  “So guilty,” I say, shaking my head at him in amusement. “Can I get you something to drink?”

  “Coffee would be good.”

  “Sure thing. How do you like it?” I ask, standing up.

  “White with two sugars please.”

  “No problem,” I reply, grabbing everything I needed to make it for him. I make one for Tag too—black with one sugar.

  “Even know how he likes his coffee already, good sign,” Xander teases.

  I roll my eyes. “I’ve been spending all my time with him for the last two weeks. You’d be surprised how much you learn about someone when you’re living with them. And working with them.”

  Tag walks into the kitchen, freshly showered and dressed in a white t-shirt and snug, faded jeans.

  “Mornin’” he says, his eyes on me.

  “Morning,” I reply, handing him his coffee then Xander his. I didn’t know how to act. Was I allowed to kiss him? Wrap my arms around him? Or did I act like I did before and keep my hands off him except for night time?

  “This isn’t awkward at all,” Xander says cheerfully, taking a sip of his hot coffee. “Fuck, Clara! You make good coffee.”

  “Thank you,” I say, happy with his praise and decidedly ignoring his awkward comment. Like I needed someone to tell me how awkward it was.

  “Might have to drop by more often.”

  Tag looks to Xander, his eyes narrowed. “We going riding or what?”

  Xander nods then looks to me. “We’re taking the bikes out for a ride. You want to come?”