Unsound

by Chantal Fernando

  Hopefully, Dani will keep her mouth shut.

  BULL

  I wake up to the smell of coffee and eggs, my dick jumping in excitement that Babs is here. I dress quickly, grab my cigs, and head toward the kitchen. Everyone is still asleep, the early sky dark grey from the sun just rising. I walk in and find her whipping eggs in a bowl, her hips shaking back and forth as she sings “Hand In My Pocket,” I think by Alanis Morissette. I can’t help but grin. God, she is beautiful. She closes her eyes and wails the lyrics, not noticing me at all. I never thought I would fall in love again after Lady. Swore I wouldn’t, yet here I am in the most complicated situation ever. Loving a woman, but not being able to fully love her.

  “Oh, my God,” she squeals, her face turning red with embarrassment as she finally notices me by the doors. I stride over, grab her by the back, and kiss her. She grabs the back of my head and kisses me back, hard. Her tongue tasting mine as my hands cup her round ass. She backs up, her ass just sitting on the kitchen counter. She grabs my hand and places it over her breast, her head falling back from the contact. I love a woman who knows what she wants. I squeeze it, my other hand grabbing the other breast harder. She grabs my buckle, quickly undoing it. She pushes my jeans down my hips, my length standing at attention when it’s freed from the fabric. She fists my cock and starts pumping it, a groan spilling from my mouth at the contact. My head falls back, enjoying the foreign touch of her jacking me off. Her touch goes absent. Just as I bring my head down to see where her hand went, I feel hot warmth around my cock. I look down to find her kneeling and bobbing on my dick. I fist my hands in her hair, pushing and pulling her sweet mouth on my dick. Her teeth graze it, sending sparks through my shaft. I moan loudly, self-control out the window.

  “It smells good in here.” I feel Babs tense. I pull my pants up and go to the fridge quickly.

  “Your food smells so good; it could wake the whole club up,” Tom says, wiping the sleep from his eyes.

  Babs beams at Tom as she begins to whip up the bowl of egg yolks. I don’t know how much longer we can hide this. That was a close one.

  BULL

  I open my eyes to pitch black and ringing and vibrating sounds from the side table.

  “What time is it?” I groan and roll over, my hand flailing around for my cell phone.

  “This better be important,” I answer, my eyes refusing to open.

  “I got information that the brothers need to hear. Get them round up—”

  I pull the phone from my ear, looking for the time.

  “Shadow, it’s three in the morning. We’ll talk first thing, son. Go to bed,” I demand, my voice heavy with sleep, laced with irritation.

  I hang the phone up and roll back over.

  *****

  I wake up too fucking early. With Shadow texting me every hour from five this morning, I didn’t sleep well. I dress, grab my cigs off the table, and head for the kitchen.

  “Hey, Babs, make me some eggs, will ya?” Locks asks Babs, who is standing next to the coffee pot, his tone more demanding than asking. The coffee mug just shy of Babs’ lips, as if she was going to take a sip, halts as she glares.

  “Anything else I can get you, babe?” Her voice manipulating and coming off sarcastic.

  Locks walks out of the kitchen, not catching on to Babs’ sassy mouth, that or he doesn’t care. I look her over this morning. Man, she looks fuckable. Her red hair is in a big curly bun, black tight shirt with some shiny shit on it, and some tight as sin blue jeans.

  “You better stop looking at me like that.” Her voice is sultry as she winks.

  I wait for her to say something, to continue, but she doesn’t. I look over my shoulder and find her eyes furrowed as if she is deep in thought.

  “You okay, doll?” I ask, concerned.

  “What? Yeah,” she answers quickly, as if she was just snapped from a thought. I raise my eyebrow at her. She is not telling me something. There are enough secrets and lies seeping their way through my club already. I don’t need them between me and Babs.

  “You can tell me anything, you know that,” I push. I grasp her thick hips, looking down at her, imploring her to tell me more.

  She turns her head to the side and bites at her bottom red lip, then turns quickly and faces me with those green eyes and smiles.

  “Everything is fine; just been on edge since the arrest is all.” She places her hands on my shoulders and gives a tight squeeze. “You worry too much; go to church. Shadow has been here all morning, anxious about something.” I hesitate, not fully convinced she is telling me the truth. She smiles and gestures for me to go. I smile back and head toward the chapel.

  As soon as I walk in, I notice Shadow sitting at the table drumming his fingers against the wooden top as the other boys following behind me and sit in their seats. Shadow looks like shit. His hair is a mess, well, more than usual, and he has bags under his eyes. My heart picks up in rhythm, worried.

  “Shadow, you’re in early,” I chime, finding my chair at the head of the table.

  “I have some important information,” Shadow says quickly, sitting up from his slouched position.

  “I would hope so. You woke me up for a meeting at three in the morning, son,” I inform him, taking a sip of my hot coffee.

  “You look like shit,” Hawk hollers from the back of the table, making me grin. Old fucker ain’t got a filter, I swear.

  Shadow sighs and rubs the temples of his head. “Yeah, I didn’t sleep much,” he says, frustrated.

  I run my hands over my beard, curiosity getting the better of me.

  “All right, spill it,” I demand, grabbing my cigs off the table and lighting one. I look at the smoke as it climbs the air. I need to quit this shit, but every time I do, I feel like I’m going to have a fucking heart attack.

  “Last night, I went to pick Dani up, and her mother stopped by for a visit,” Shadow starts, breaking my stare off with my cigarette smoke.

  “I fucking told you,” Locks interrupts excitedly, pointing at Shadow.

  I glare at Locks, wanting him to shut the fuck up so Shadow can tell me what happened between Dani and her mom. I close my eyes and inhale. Actually, maybe I don’t want to hear what he has to say. He might confirm what I fear, that she was in on the bust.

  “Go on,” I encourage Shadow.

  “She wanted Dani to turn on us, come to her senses,” Shadow continues, his forehead sweating.

  “What she say?” Bobby cuts in, his voice dripping with unease. He is just as nervous as I am, afraid she is guilty. Will he help me get Dani out of here if she is a traitor, or want her blood like the rest of the boys will?

  “Dani told her no, and when her mom wouldn’t let up, Dani tried to shoot her. Told her to go back to New York and if she came back, she would kill her.” Shadow spills as he drawls out a heavy breath. I can’t help but feel pride that Dani tried to shoot her mom. My face goes lax as my body sags with relief. She didn’t betray me; she isn’t a traitor.

  “Well, I’ll be,” I exclaim. I cannot believe I questioned her. Dani is nothing like her mother; I know that. Yet, I still held her like an enemy, treating her like a stepchild. I feel like shit.

  “That don’t prove shit!” Locks shouts, slamming his fist on the table.

  I groan and can’t help but my roll my eyes. Locks has not been Dani’s biggest fan since she came back. If I left it up to him, he would have surely killed her by now. Just as I’m about to lay into him, a petite knock comes at the door, halting me.

  “What?” I yell.

  Babs steps in with an ear-to-ear grin. “Hey, boys, I just wanted to remind you that the Fourth of July party is next weekend, so don’t forget.” She smiles, her eyes landing on me right before she closes the door.

  “Are you kidding me?” Locks asks, irritated and gesturing toward the door. I would normally snap and throw any female who would interrupt a meeting out of the club, but Babs is different. I would let her sit on my lap and suck my face during one of
these damn things if I could.

  I play it off and muster a laugh. “Damn women,” I mutter and change the subject. “Make sure Dani is at that party. She is cleared of any potential threats to the club, so let’s get her back in here and start making her feel like family,” I demand, slamming my cigarette in the ashtray.

  “What the hell, Prez?” Locks questions, his head tilted and tone grave. “You ain’t thinking clearly. That boy is in love with her. He’ll say anything!” Locks yells as he points directly at Shadow. I notice Shadow’s face turn red as his jaw clenches. I look at Locks and growl, done with his petty outbursts.

  “She didn’t do a Goddamn thing wrong, Locks. We did by not trusting her. You better get that foot outta your ass and start showing her some damn respect, right fucking now!”

  Locks gets up, slamming his chair against the wall. “Screw this shit,” he roars, leaving the room.

  “I’ll go check on him,” Old Guy says, getting up from the table and following him.

  “I swear, you got a bunch of pussies in this club. A bunch of women throwing temper tantrums,” Hawk mumbles. No filter.

  I head toward my room, my shoulders feeling lighter knowing Dani is innocent. When I walk in, Babs is bent over my bathroom sink, organizing shit. I quietly shut the door, lock it, and slide up behind her, my hands on both sides of her hips. She squeals and turns in my grasp quickly.

  “Bull,” she whispers, slapping my chest with her hand playfully.

  “You shouldn’t have cleaned that,” I whisper in her ear, my teeth grazing her earlobe.

  “Why?” she asks, arching her body into mine.

  “Because we are about to mess it all up,” I inform her as I turn her back around and push down on her back, making her ass stick up in the air.

  She doesn’t fight me. She grabs the hem of her shirt and pulls it over her head. Her ivory green bra barely holds her big tits in. I can’t resist; I reach around her and grab both of her tits roughly. My big hands not near big enough to cup them fully.

  “Oooo,” she moans out of her plumped lips, my touch turning her on.

  She reaches behind me and rubs at my hard dick through my jeans, making me thrust my hips forward.

  She lets go, making me growl in frustration. She starts fumbling with her buttons on her jeans. Taking the hint, I unbuckle my belt and drop my jeans and underwear to my ankles, my dick springing free and brushing against her ass crack.

  “Take off your shirt; I want to feel you,” she demands, pulling on my shirt.

  I pull my shirt and cut off and toss them on the floor, my reaper tattoo inked across my chest staring back at me in the mirror.

  I thread my hand between her thighs and slide my finger through her folds, finding her to be wet and ready. I grab the base of my cock and slide it agonizingly slow between her pussy lips before sliding my hand sliding to her front and flicking her clit, teasing her. Her body tenses as she arches her ass out. She reaches behind her and grabs my dick, guiding it into her warm pussy.

  She braces herself against the sink as I thrust in and out of her quickly. Her breathing coming in short spurts. She looks up in the mirror, her eyes grabbing mine. I gently grab her by the throat and pull her upward, her back against my chest.

  “You see that beautiful woman?” I ask, my voice husky from chasing that fucking feeling of ecstasy.

  “Yeah,” she breathes.

  “She is mine, and fucking gorgeous, and I love her,” I pant, leaning in and biting the back of her earlobe.

  Her mouth parts and moans, her ass meeting my thrusts.

  I look down and watch her ass bounce with every piston of my hips. I can’t help but pull my hand back and slap that ass, making her thrust her ass against me forcefully, her pussy drenching with arousal.

  “You feel amazing,” I whisper, slapping her ass again. I look in the mirror and watch her tits bounce. I thrust into her harder, wanting a tit to pop out of her bra. After the third pump, her left tit flies out from a cup, exposing that cute little nipple against that big ass tit.

  I feel her pussy pulse, clench, and release against my dick. She’s close. I close my eyes and focus on the feeling of her riding my dick. My dick tightens as my balls squeeze.

  Wanting her to come with me, I push on her back, making her fall against the sink. I reach around and find her clit and swirl it once, making her eyes roll in the back of her head. She holds her breath, grabs my hand, and makes my finger roll her clit again. She yells before her lips clamp shut, trying to quiet herself. My dick vibrates with pressure, making me slam into her as I spill every drop I have into her.

  She lays against the counter, her hand still holding mine on her clit.

  “You fuck other women, Bull?” Her question has me pulling out of her and turning her around to look at me.

  “What?” I ask, confused.

  “Do you fuck these little girls who run through here since you’ve been sleeping with me?” she asks, her tone serious.

  I run my hands through my hair, lean down and grab my jeans and shit, and pull them up.

  “No,” I answer flatly. I haven’t had any desire to sleep with anyone else. The connection I have with Babs, it’s different. I feel something for Babs that I don’t feel for other women.

  She closes her eyes and winces, as if my answer is a shock.

  “Those bitches don’t know shit about sex, nothing about what they want in bed, or what a man needs,” I explain. She turns her head and nods, a smile hiding behind those pursed lips.

  “Besides, I don’t love them,” I confess, my heart hammering against my chest with my confession, scared at what her reply may be. She turns and smiles, her cheeks turning a shade of red that matches her lips.

  “You really love me?” she asks, like my confession is a joke.

  I grab her by the nape and pull her to my face quickly.

  “I swore I would never fall for another woman after the first one shit on me, yet you came in with your red lips and sassy mouth, making me cross a line, breaking laws and falling face first into feeling for you. Don’t question my feelings for you ever again,” I say, my voice confident and stern. Her lips release a whimper as her eyes tear up, making me kiss those cherry lips to comfort her.

  BABS

  I’m setting up tables at the beach, putting out large plastic bowls of cheese dip with chips on the side, and a cooler with soda and beer. I adjust the strap of my black, one-piece swimsuit and wipe my sweaty palms off on my cutoff jeans. The sun will be setting soon, but not soon enough with this heat.

  “Your dip is fantastic, babe,” Bull whispers in my ear, sending chills up my back in this hot weather. I smirk as I position the plate of hot dogs just right. Hawk sure does know how to BBQ.

  I look over my shoulder and watch Bull take his shirt off, his tattooed body soaking in the sun. I can’t deny I’m in love with Bull, and I’m done with this hiding shit. We either come out together, or we are done. I can’t keep doing this. I bite my lip, my nerves getting the best of me. What if he’s against telling everyone and offs me. I feel broken, like a mirror shattered and splintered, pointing to every which way of uncertainty.

  I walk up to the waterline, looking at my reflection. Should I ask him to do this?

  “I can hear you thinking. What is it, babe?” Bull asks, looking out at sea.

  “Us,” I blurt. I roll my lips, pissed I just said what I was thinking without thinking about how to say it.

  “Us?” Bull asks, his body puffs out with the question. I try and read more into his voice. Is he scared of what I’m going to say, or relieved I’m bringing it up?

  “What about us?” he asks, his tone not giving anything away. I brace myself, close my eyes, and inhale deeply. I deserve a life, deserve a love that loves me back and can share it with everyone.

  “I want to tell Locks. I want to tell everyone. I want to file for divorce. I want to be with you,” I babble, my body wracking from the lack of breath.

  “Whoa, baby,
breathe,” Bull whispers, grabbing me by both shoulders. He looks over his shoulder, watching to see if anyone saw my outburst. That’s not a good sign; he’s not ready.

  “It’s not that easy,” he mumbles, exasperated. “You think I wouldn’t have claimed your ass already if it was that easy?” Bull questions, his head tilted to the side as he speaks. “As much I hate saying the words, you are Locks’ until he lets you go, babe, divorce or not. You know our life has its own set of laws.” I pull my gaze from his and stare at the sea, my eyes stinging from tears I’m trying not to shed. It’s that point where you have to decide if the risk of what you want is worth what you have.

  “I can’t do this anymore. I can’t pretend you’re mine when you’re not,” I nearly yell, not caring if anyone hears me.

  Bull looks out at the crowd and back at me, and nods. He fucking nods. What is that supposed to mean?

  A tear springs from my eye; he is not going to risk his club over me.

  “I’ll…” he pauses, “I’ll figure this out. Just give me a few days to figure out a way around it,” Bull whispers, grabbing my forearm. I hold a sudden breath, waiting for a “but.” “Give me time to do this right, darlin’.” He stops himself and groans. I can’t help the tears that well up, tears of happiness. We are going to do this. I am finally going to be happy and loved. But what is his plan? What if it doesn’t work and the club riots against us sleeping together behind Locks’ back?