He read something on the screen, and then looked up to me with a contemplative expression. “The number belongs to a small business in Boston. Some antique store.”
“That’s weird. Antiques? Why would Cole be calling them over and over?” I asked.
Julian paced to the other side of the foyer, deep in thought. “Why the hell would he be arguing with them?”
“You know, there’s one way we can know for certain.” I pointed to his phone. “Call the number.”
Julian swallowed. “It had occurred to me. I just thought maybe it wouldn’t come to that.”
“It’s the only way to get to the bottom of this.”
Julian nodded and dialed the number. He held the phone up to his ear, and a second later, I could hear the muffled sound of a voice on the other end.
I watched as Julian’s facial expression went from one of curiosity to one of complete and utter shock. It was instantaneous. He went ghost white, and his eyebrows furrowed.
I step towards him. “What is it?” I whispered.
Julian swallowed. I could hear the voice on the other end talking again, but Julian still hadn’t said a word to whoever it was.
Then all at once, the mystery was over. Julian’s voice wavered as he said the words, “Hannah? Is that you?”
My heart sunk into my stomach.
“What?” I said out loud.
Julian’s eyes widened as the voice on the other end of the line responded. He placed his palm over his mouth. After he moved his palm away, he began hastily pacing up and down the foyer. “I knew it was you. The second that I heard your voice. My God, Hannah. You’re alive?”
Suddenly the room was spinning. Was this really happening? Was Hannah on the other end of the line?
No. It couldn’t be real.
Julian listened to the woman talk for a moment, and then he spoke again. “Just hold on a second.”
Julian put the caller on hold and then looked up to me with his eyebrows furrowed. “It’s Hannah. It’s really her.”
I marched up to him. “But how? Are you sure?”
Julian nodded. “It’s her. I would recognize her voice anywhere. And she admitted it. She said she’s waited so long to hear my voice again. She wants to talk. She wants to explain everything.”
I looked at the floor. My mind raced a million miles a minute. Then I looked back up. “Should I go?”
If true, this was world-altering news, and he needed to deal with it right here and right now without me hovering over his shoulder.
He grabbed my hand. “No. Just give me some time.”
I nodded and squeezed his hand. Then I walked into the living room to give him some privacy. I leaned against the back of the sofa, trying to stabilize myself.
I felt dizzy. I’m not sure that I’d ever been so shocked in my entire life. Then again, it’s not every day someone who you thought was gone is suddenly raised from the dead.
I stood there for several minutes, trying to organize my thoughts. What could have happened to her, and why had she been gone for all these years? What did this mean?
When Julian returned to the living room, his phone call had ended, and he looked utterly shell shocked. “Hannah is coming up from Boston, she wants to explain everything to me in person.”
I walked over to him and took him into a hug, but he was distant, barely responsive. I couldn’t imagine how he was feeling in that moment. If I was shocked, he must’ve been shaken to his core by what had just happened.
I put some distance between us. “I think, given the situation, maybe you need some space to—”
Without looking at me, he finished my sentence. “Process.” He looked at me as if he had forgotten I was in the room. “I don’t want you to go, but… I’m sorry to ruin our plans.”
I rubbed his shoulder. “Hey, it didn’t ruin anything. This is bigger than that.”
I clutched my bag and walked out of the living room. Julian opened the front door for me. His actions were on autopilot. I could tell he was struggling to come to terms with what was happening.
“Cole didn’t do anything to her… I was wrong.” Julian looked downcast.
“That’s a good thing. To be wrong in this situation. It means Hannah is alive. That’s the best thing you could have hoped for.” I tried to smile, to show him that I was happy for him… that I wasn’t freaking out. But in reality… I was really freaking out.
I kissed him on the cheek to say goodbye and then stepped outside.
Before he shut the door behind me, he seemed like he was finally catching up with reality. “Hannah is alive. Hannah is alive,” he repeated.
I took his shoulders and looked into his eyes. “She is.” I reaffirmed. “I’m gonna go now. Do you need anything?”
Julian swallowed. “No, no. We’ll talk tomorrow, okay?”
I simply nodded, knowing that tomorrow, things would never be the same.
* * *
The second I got home, I ran into my room and slammed the door shut. Aspen crept in and gently closed the door. She walked over to the bed where I was crunched up, cradling my knees, my tears saturating my jeans.
“What’s wrong?” Aspen rubbed my shoulder. “Is it Julian?”
I sniffed. “It’s Hannah. She’s back.”
Aspen looked confused. She knew the whole story, as I’d been keeping her up-to-date on it. Our conversations often lasted late into the night as we discussed Julian and his past… And why he was so hard to figure out.
“I thought she was…”
“She was. Well, obviously not.” God, the whole thing was confusing. “She is alive. Alive and well in Boston, and now we know. Julian spoke to her on the phone tonight. She’s coming up to see him. I guess she wants to be back in his life.”
Aspen’s jaw dropped open, and she glanced off into the distance, still trying to process the news. After a second, she took me into a hug. She cradled me in her arms for almost an hour as I let my tears spill out onto her sweater.
I couldn’t talk. I could barely get any words out. But it was obvious why I was upset. Aspen instinctively knew that although I was relieved that Hannah was okay, it likely signaled the end of any budding relationship I had with Julian.
If there was one thing we both knew, it was that he was in love with Hannah. It was the driving force behind his obsession with Cole. It had become his life’s work to get justice for the love he lost.
Now that she was back, what was to stop them from turning back the clock? And what right did I have to get in their way?
Chapter Thirty-Three
Julian
I pressed send on another message to Lola, telling her that we needed to talk. I flipped the phone around in my hand nervously and then looked back towards my front door.
She was going to be here soon. Any minute now.
A ghost was about to knock on my door.
Only she was real. Flesh and blood.
While at first, knowing Hannah was alive flooded me with relief, it later led to confusion. I was conflicted in a way I’d never felt before. If she was alive all this time, why hadn’t she reached out to me earlier? Didn’t she know I’d be missing her? Didn’t she know I’d loved her?
I rechecked my phone. Lola still hadn’t responded. She’d been radio silent for two days.
She was probably trying to give me space to deal with all this, but I also couldn’t shake the feeling that she was upset. It only complicated an already complicated relationship.
Complications. Hurt feelings. It’s precisely why I didn’t want to get involved with anyone in the first place.
I thought back to the night we spent in the hotel, and then the next day, when we laid in bed talking and fucking like we didn’t have a care in the world. For a day, it seemed like all the shit that was stopping me from moving on, didn’t matter anymore… but now, cold, hard reality had come crashing down on us both.
There was a knock at the door. This was it. I took a deep breath and got up.
My heart beat faster as I walked toward the door. I paused with my palm on the handle.
Was I ready for this?
It didn’t matter. I had to face this whether I was ready or not.
When I opened the door, it was like no time had gone past at all. Hannah looked exactly the same. Sure, she was older, but she’d matured into her beauty and her curves. Her long chocolate brown hair was now short and choppy at her shoulders, only accentuating her high cheekbones and soft jawline.
A grin formed across her face that reached up to her nose. Her eyes glistened as the sun hit them. I’d been right. They were hazel. I thought they were, but it was so long since I’d seen her, I sometimes questioned myself.
My heart skipped a beat when she spoke. “Julian.”
She stood paralyzed. Was she as nervous as I was?
“Hannah…” My voice sounded breathy. “Would you like to—”
My train of thought was interrupted when a head poked out from behind Hannah. A small boy was standing behind her. He looked at me uncertainly and gripped Hannah’s arm.
Hannah looked down at him and then back up at me. “Julian, this is Ben.”
She looked at me, nervously.
She hadn’t mentioned a kid on the phone.
I looked at Ben again. He had dark, almost black hair and copper eyes that were the same shade as my own.
I flicked my eyes back to Hannah’s. She swallowed.
Could he be?
And then it struck me.
Ben. It was the same as my middle name, Benjamin.
Hannah smiled down at the boy. “Ben, this is your daddy, baby.”
Chapter Thirty-Four
Lola
I’d been ignoring his calls and messages for too long. It wasn’t because I didn’t want to talk to him. In fact, that’s all I wanted to do. Talk to him, see him, kiss him. But I couldn’t shake the feeling that whatever he wanted to tell me was bad news.
Was he so desperate to contact me because he needed to assuage his conscience somehow? Before he could move on with Hannah. Did he feel the need to break things off with me? I didn’t even know if we were in a relationship… Was it possible to get broken up with when you’re not even together?
Eventually, I decided I needed to get it over and done with, and showed up unannounced at his door. When Julian answered, it seemed as if I was the last person he was expecting.
“Lola.” He looked behind him and then back at me with his eyebrows furrowed. “Um… Come in.”
I followed him inside. As I walked through the hallway, past the living room, I stopped. Sitting on his sofa was a beautiful brunette watching TV with a young boy who couldn’t have been more than nine or ten.
“Is that?” I looked at Julian.
He nodded. “Hannah... and Ben.”
Hannah, who was now alerted to my presence, narrowed her eyes at me. She seemed confused about who I was. Did she know? Maybe Julian had never mentioned me.
And who was Ben? Was he Hannah’s boy?
He looked so much like…
“Come. We need to talk,” Julian said impatiently. He was full of nervous energy.
He pulled me into his office and closed the door.
“Is that your—” I began to ask.
He didn’t let me finish the sentence. “Yes, he’s my son.”
He waited for my reaction, eying me skeptically. My lips parted, and I simply stared at him, unable to speak.
“I didn’t know about him,” he said. “She just showed up, and he was with her.”
I sat on the edge of his oak desk.
Hannah and Julian had a child together.
I shook my head in amazement. “Are you sure he’s yours?”
“We did a DNA test, I’m just waiting for the results. But I mean… Have you seen him? He looks just like me… He really might be my kid.”
I tried to put the pieces together in my mind, but it was all so confusing. “How did this happen? Where has she been all this time?”
“The first night she got here, we stayed up late talking about it.” Julian leaned back against the bookcase. “She was in love with me, but she was also in love with Cole. She had a tempestuous but passionate relationship with him the entire time we were together.” His voice cracked at the mention of Cole. “When Hannah realized she was pregnant, I was in jail, and I still had almost three years left. I couldn’t support her, or a child, and Cole would never raise a child that wasn’t his… she thought everything would unravel.”
“But how did she know he was yours and not Coles?”
Julian looked at me sideways. “Well… Not to go into too much detail, but we didn’t, you know, use extra protection. She was on the pill, but it failed. She always used condoms with Cole, because he was paranoid about getting someone pregnant. He didn’t want kids.”
I felt my blood run cold at his response. That wasn’t something I wanted to hear. Or imagine. Julian making love to Hannah…
He continued. “Anyway, there was this rich guy that she used to see as a client when she was an escort. He had always wanted to marry her, but she’d turned him down in the past. He came back into her life, and because of the situation, she took him up on his offer. She moved to Boston to be with him, knowing that she’d be comfortable for the rest of her life. She changed her name and identity, so she wouldn’t be found. She knew Cole was jealous and would never let her be happy with someone else. She didn’t have the heart to break it off with me, and I could never provide the life that she wanted… So thought it was better to let me think that she was dead.”
“Julian…” I wanted to hug him, I wanted to hold him tight and never let go. His pain was evident. But I still didn’t know where we stood.
“Wait — Cole had been calling her, though… He knew?” I asked.
“Yeah, a few weeks ago, Cole discovered her whereabouts and was trying to start things up with her again. He’s still hopelessly in love with her. She said that when I called her she was relieved, because she needed to get the truth off her chest. Her husband had recently divorced her, and her business is failing. Her and Ben are alone. They’re going to move here… “He looked at me with uncertainty.” She wants me to be in their life again. To be in my son’s life.”
This was all too much to take in. The situation was worse than I’d thought.
“Aren’t you mad?” I asked. “I mean, she hid all of this from you. She caused so much pain.”
He shoved his hand into his pocket. “I was, at first, I was furious. But when she arrived with the boy, I just couldn’t… I can’t be mad at him, and I can’t be mad at her in front of him. I don’t want him to be scared or think that I don’t want him.” He swallowed hard. “Because I do. I never planned on having kids, but it’s not because I never wanted to. I just didn’t think it would happen for me. You know, my dad, he left when I was young, I’m not going to let him go through what I did. He’s already had so long without knowing his dad. We have a hell of a lot of catching up to do.”
His words tugged at my heart. We both knew what it was like not to have a father, and I could see how desperate he was to rectify the situation. Julian had a lot of soul-searching to do, and it was clear to me that he needed time to figure things out. Who was I to deny him that?
“Well… Thank you for telling me.” I got off the desk and walked over to him, placing a tender kiss on his cheek. “You’re a good man. Ben is very lucky to have you in his life now.” I sighed. “I think it’s best if you and I spend a little time apart. Things are already so complicated in your life with Hannah and Ben in the picture, you don’t need anything more on your plate right now.”
Julian studied my eyes. For a second, I thought he was going to lean down and kiss me. But then he closed his eyelids, and when he opened them again, he simply nodded. “You’re right.”
I smiled to try to make it easier for him. To not show how much I was hurting.
He walked me quietly to the front door, bu
t before he let me out, he stopped me. “I forgot to ask you, how did your dress go at the showcase? I remember you said that you would get the results this week.”
It was sweet that he remembered, especially after what he’d been going through. Only I wished I could have given him better news.
“It didn’t do as well as it should have. They loved the design, they just said that the execution was rushed. The hand applique that was on the original would have been perfect, but after it was damaged, I had to rush the job with the machine, and apparently, they could tell.” I opened the door and began to walk out. “The good news is that I at least got an offer for an internship after I graduate. It’s unpaid, and the design house wasn’t exactly on the top of my list, but it’s better than nothing.”
Julian frowned. “I’m sorry.” He must’ve taken pity on me because then he offered me a smile. “Keep your chin up. Once they see how talented you are, I’m sure they’ll give you a paid position.”
I wasn’t nearly as hopeful about my prospects, but I was grateful for his belief in me nonetheless.
After that, we said goodbye, and I got myself out of there as quickly as possible.
I walked down his front steps and didn’t look back. I didn’t want him to see the tears as they streaked down my face.
Whether Hannah had betrayed him or not, he had a ready-made family now. She was the love of his life, and they had a child together.
Even though stepping back from him was the right thing to do, to give him a chance at his ultimate happiness… the happiness he’d thought he’d lost so long ago… it didn’t do anything to deaden the pain that I felt at having to walk away.
Chapter Thirty-Five
Lola
“So, have you heard from Julian?” Minty asked as we walked through the park on our way to Anzai Aki’s studio.
She was accompanying me there after I received a call from Anzai asking me to come to his office. Apparently, he had something of mine that I needed to collect. I couldn’t think of what he meant, but before I could ask, he rushed me off the phone. The only thing I could think of was that I’d left something there the night that I’d worked on my dress.
Obsession: Seven Vices Series Page 17