There was a knock on the door before it swung open. “Have a good day?” Mom asked.
“Great,” I lied. “You?”
“Yes, thank you.” She eyed the clothes on my bed. “Do you have plans tonight?”
I nodded. “If it’s okay Kimber was invited to a party, and she asked me to come too.” I threw the ‘party’ word out there in hopes she would tell me I wasn’t allowed to go.
Her eyes narrowed. “Who’s party?”
I told her. She stared at me for long moments. I waited for a lecture – I was overdue. She hadn’t said a word about me missing Bible study again last night. She asked about Grandma, and I told her about school, and that was all. I came home late today, and now I was asking to go to a party. She wouldn’t let me get away with it.
“His mother is in my Bible study group. She’s very nice.”
I nodded.
“Be home by eleven.”
That was it? Just like that? “Really?”
“Yes. We’ll have breakfast in the morning, and you can tell me about it.”
“Okay.” She shut the door and left me standing there, empty. Now how was I going to get out of this?
I didn’t get out of it. At precisely the designated time, Kimber pulled into the driveway. I went slowly down the stairs toward the front door. Mom looked up from her book, her eyes running over me. Did she look slightly relieved?
I wasn’t wearing what Kimber wanted me to wear. I couldn’t bring myself to wear that top. So in concession I was wearing the jeans, but they didn’t look the way Kimber thought they would. They were too big; everything of mine was. Instead of hugging my curves, the jeans hung off of them, which was fine by me. I elected to wear a hoodie, but a nice one. It was made of a fine knit and it was a nice shade of blue. It wasn’t as baggy as all my other ones. In an attempt to dress it up further, I wore a silver cross pendant.
“You look nice. I haven’t seen that necklace in a while,” Mom said.
“Thanks. I’ll see you later.” I hoped that she would call me back and say she changed her mind.
I opened the front door and looked back.
She’d already returned to her book.
In the car Kimber demanded, “What happened to the outfit I picked out for you?”
“I’m wearing the jeans,” I answered defensively.
“Those are my jeans?” She sounded shocked. “How much weight have you lost anyway?”
I shrugged. I was thin Before, but she had always been thinner. I guess not anymore.
She muttered under her breath and backed out of the drive. I looked out my window and wondered how bad this night was going to be.
The party was bumping, and there were far more people than I expected. It seemed like half the student body of Windham High was there. “Kimber, I…” my voice cracked and fell away as I looked at the front door.
“Chill, Heven. Everything is going to be great!”
Before I could throw myself into the bushes, the front door opened and loud music vibrated out around us. “Ladies!” Some drunk dude from the senior class boomed. Kimber grabbed my hand and pulled me inside as I smiled thinking of what my mother would say now about her friend from Bible study.
We chatted (rather Kimber chatted) with everyone we knew, and she dragged me into the kitchen for a drink. She tried handing me a cup of red punch, and I lifted an eyebrow at her. “Seriously?” I yelled over the music.
Kimber rolled her eyes and reached into a cooler to pull out a Coke and handed it to me. I watched in horror as she took a long sip of the red ‘punch.’ “It’s definitely loaded,” she called to me, taking another sip. I held out my palm, and she rolled her eyes, but surrendered her keys without argument. “Let’s find Cole.” She grabbed my hand and towed me through yet another huge crowd out into the back yard.
The back yard was huge, and it had a kidney-shaped pool, a hot tub, and a gazebo. People were dancing and yelling to each other over the loud music, but at least it was fairly dark. The only illumination came from the few lights on the deck and the back of the house. Kimber pulled me off to the side of the deck and pointed. “There he is.”
Cole was on the other side of the pool, lounging against a large brick planter. He was surrounded by half the football team, and while he was smiling, his eyes scanned the crowd every few seconds. “He’s looking for you.”
“Yeah, and I’m going to give him something to look at.” With her declaration she released me and strutted away, her hips moving seductively and attracting the gaze of every guy she passed by. Except she wasn’t walking toward Cole. I felt the blood drain from my face when I looked past Kimber to whom she was strutting toward.
Sam was standing in a crowd of people who were all openly staring at him, yet he wasn’t really part of the group. He seemed separate somehow. He was wearing a black leather jacket, a snug navy shirt, and a pair of beat-up jeans. His dark blond hair was messy, falling over his ears and right eye, and when he saw Kimber heading toward him, he pushed it up onto his forehead. He didn’t smile as he watched her slinking toward him but watched her like a predator might watch his prey. It made gooseflesh rise along my arms. As he watched her his eyes flashed up over her shoulder – searching for something or someone – and not knowing why, I stepped back into the shadows so he wouldn’t see me. Kimber walked around the open fire pit that separated her from her target and reached out her manicured hand and placed it on his arm, drawing his eyes back to her. Her mouth moved, and the side of his mouth kicked up in a small smile. His lips barely moved, but I knew he’d spoken, and I wished I was closer to hear the deep, raspy tone of his voice. Kimber laughed and her hand went a little more firmly around his arm. It made my stomach hurt, and I looked over at Cole to see if he was watching the show.
He was seeing it all right. He was standing erect, watching with his fists balled at his sides and an angry expression on his face. Kimber laughed again, and I looked back in time to see Sam turn fully toward her and look down to smile. God, he was so beautiful. For a split second I imagined that he was looking down at me smiling that way, and my heart nearly stopped. From behind, someone bumped into me, and I stumbled forward.
“Sorry,” the guy mumbled, but I ignored him because as soon as I moved, Sam’s eyes flashed up to where I was standing, like he knew I was there. But I knew my imagination was working on overdrive because I was in the shadows, and I knew he couldn’t see me. As if to prove my point, his eyes went back to Kimber who brazenly leaned up and whispered something in his ear.
I glanced at Cole who was clearly having a hard time staying rooted to his spot. He was so angry that the guys with him were turning to see what he was staring at. In fact, it seemed Kimber and Sam were attracting quite an audience. Unfortunately for Kimber, one of her audience members stepped forward, making a beeline for the pair.
Jenna looked like a woman with a mission and by the evil glint in her eye, whatever that mission was would not be good for Kimber.
Somehow Jenna managed to wedge herself between Sam and a perturbed Kimber. She flicked her dark locks over her shoulder and placed a single finger on his chest and leaned into him. She really was a skank, and I wanted to gag at the thought of her touching Sam. He stared down at her with an unreadable expression on his face. She said something that made Kimber go red in the face and glare daggers at her back. With a sigh I headed over toward the unfolding drama. Cole was stepping through the crowd also, and I caught his eye and waved him back. He would only make things worse.
I stopped beside Kimber who gave me a ‘can you believe this?’ look before putting her hand on Jenna’s arm and yanking her around. “Why don’t you go torture someone else with your presence?” she snapped.
Jenna hissed and slapped her hand away. “Don’t touch me.”
“Chick fight!” someone behind us yelled, and a crowd began forming.
Kimber pressed in close to Jenna, and I put an arm between them. “This is so third grade,” I said, trying to so
und bored.
Jenna turned her icy stare to me. “Careful freak, might find yourself with some more unsightly scars.”
Some ‘oohing’ and ‘ahhing’ went through the crowd, but I barely registered it. Her words made my face flame with embarrassment. I knew that everyone was now staring at the girl with the disfigured face.
“You dirty bitch!” Kimber yelled, pulling back her fist. Unfortunately, my arm was still in the way, and Jenna used it as her shield, pulling my arm up so it would take the impact of the hit. It was solid and spun me backward toward the roaring fire pit. Jenna shrieked, trying to pull away from me, but like anyone who loses their balance, I groped for something to grab and right myself; it happened to be her. She didn’t pull me back up, rather, I pulled her down with me. I felt the back of my knees buckle at the impact of the edge of the stone border and felt the heat from the flames through my clothes and panic stole through me. As I fell, I wondered where my scars would be this time.
One minute I was falling toward a flaming death, and the next I was lying on the ground, away from the flames, unburned and unhurt. I heard Kimber asking me if I was all right, and I blinked, trying to clear my head, trying to decide if I was or wasn’t. But I couldn’t think because my heart was thundering in my chest, and Jenna was screeching at the top of her lungs.
I sat up and looked at Jenna who was lying on the ground clutching her arm. “It’s broken! She broke my arm!” As she screeched she rolled to the side and glared at me.
I drew back. I did not do that to her. Did I? What the heck happened? I thought for sure I was going into the flames.
Kimber stood, placing herself in front of me. “Heven isn’t responsible for your arm,” she spat. Then, dramatically, she flung herself to the side at someone. “Thank goodness you were here!”
Sam caught her easily and patted her shoulder as she wrapped her arms around his waist. Pain lanced through my chest, and I winced. Maybe I was hurt after all…
I looked up and my eyes fastened on Sam, who was watching me. Emotion flashed through his eyes, but it was gone so quickly I was unable to name it.
“Heven? Hey, you okay?” Cole leaned over me. He looked so sad I couldn’t be angry at him for blocking my view of Sam.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered.
“This isn’t your fault, Hev.”
“Help me up?”
He lifted me up and onto my feet with ease. When he pulled back I swayed a little, and he came back, anchoring his arm around me. “Are you sure you’re okay?”
My eyes went back to Kimber and Sam. I watched as he gently tried to detangle himself from her and then push her aside. The pain in my chest eased considerably when they were no longer touching. Sam seemed more interested in my conversation with Cole and was staring between us with that unreadable expression he did so well. I looked up at Cole. “I’m fine.”
“Need a ride home?” he whispered.
I nodded. “I want to go.” I was extremely sorry I came at all.
Kimber was beside me instantly. “You know I didn’t mean to push you.”
“I know.”
“I would have died if you’d gotten hurt! Thankfully, Sam has some bad ass reflexes and pulled you out of the way.”
Sam saved me from the fire? It happened so fast that I wasn’t sure what had happened.
I pulled Kimber’s keys out of my pocket and stepped out from beneath Cole’s arm. I held them out to her. “You’ll be okay to drive?”
She stared at me for a few seconds like she couldn’t believe I wanted to leave. I wasn’t sure what I would have done if she’d said no. But I knew I couldn’t stay here, but I would worry if I left and knew she wouldn’t be safe…
“I’ll make sure she gets home safe.” Sam’s husky voice made me shiver and then he touched me. It was a simple, insignificant brush of his hand as he took the keys from my palm, but I would remember that one second contact with him like it was my first kiss.
Every single nerve in my arm tingled, and my skin burned. Every coherent thought I might have had completely faded away. I stared at him, entranced by his hazel stare, caught by the golden highlights that sparked through his eyes. “Uh…”
His mouth opened and broke the spell. “You okay?”
I just knew that my face was glowing from embarrassment. Geez, he said two words, and I practically fell at his feet drooling. He must think I am pathetic. I let my head fall so my hair would curtain my face. “Thanks,” I mumbled, as my eyes focused on something…I gasped and grabbed Sam’s arm. “Are you all right?”
“It’s nothing,” he said, gently trying to pull his arm away.
I wouldn’t let him. I stared at his leather jacket, which was burned all the way through. I brushed my finger over the hole; the fabric was still hot. My fingers grazed the skin of his arm. I sucked in my breath and dared a glance up at him. He was watching me intently, and I forgot what I was going to say. “Y-y-your shirt is…the fire burned through your jacket and shirt.”
He grasped my fingers and removed them from his arm. “Forget it.”
Did he reach into the fire to get me? Would I be burned right now if he hadn’t put his arm in the way of the flames? “Are you all right? Are you burned?”
He cleared his throat and shot a nervous glance to the people gathered around. “I’m fine. No burns.” He held up his arm, pushing back his ruined sleeve. His skin was completely unmarked.
“Oh,” I mumbled, feeling embarrassed yet again. How many more times would I humiliate myself before I left? “Well, thank you–” I took a step back toward Cole. “–for pulling me out of the way.”
It seemed like he might say something, but Kimber spoke first. “It’s a shame Jenna wasn’t as lucky.”
I turned and watched Jenna being led away by her henchmen and dismissed her. She would be fine. Girls like her always were.
“Heven?” Cole asked, touching my shoulder. “Ready?”
He and Kimber completely ignored each other. “Yeah, just a second.” I turned back to where Sam was standing, hoping to hear whatever he might have said.
He was gone.
The interior of the truck was dark and cool. I didn’t mind either. It gave me an excuse to huddle into my jacket and not worry that my facial expressions would give away my sour mood. It bothered me that Sam and Kimber were together right now. I wondered what they were doing…
“Sometimes I wonder why I bother.” Cole said quietly.
I glanced over his way. The dashboard lights cast a glow over his strong features. His jaw was set, and his brow was creased but even so he was attractive. His dark hair was mussed, but not the kind of mussed that guys do now on purpose. His was like that because he didn’t care what it looked like. His brilliant blue eyes were staring out at the road, slightly squinting when he looked at a sign. I found that little detail endeared him to me. It kind of reminded me that we were all human and we all had flaws. The skin of his face was pulled taunt over strong cheekbones and a square jaw. His lips were pressed into a flat line.
“Bother with what?” I asked just as quietly as he had.
“With Kimber.”
“I’m sorry about the way she’s treating you, Cole.” I probably shouldn’t say that or anything else against my best friend, but then I got a vivid flash of Kimber pressing herself into Sam and him lowering his face towards her…I squeezed my eyes shut and blurted, “She really is acting like a bitch.”
As soon as the words left my mouth I regretted them. Talking trash behind Kimber’s back made me as bad as her. “I didn’t mean that.” I rushed out.
Cole glanced at me and laughed. He had a dimple in his cheek. “I won’t tell.” He winked at me before returning his eyes back to the road. “Besides right now I would have to agree.”
“You really hurt her.” I said, trying to make amends with my own guilty conscience for what I said.
“Do you think I like seeing her with that other guy?”
“I guess not,” I mumbled
. He turned onto my street and I felt a wave of relief.
“Sometimes I think it might be easier just to date someone who isn’t so…” his words trailed off.
“You’ll never find anyone like Kimber.” I said loyal to my friend even while I asked myself why I should since she was with Sam. Clearly her loyalty to me wasn’t as strong as I thought.
He pulled up to the curb at my house and shifted in his seat to look at me. “I’m not so sure about that.”
Something about the way he said it and the look on his face made me swallow hard. “I should get inside.”
He stared at me for another long moment before smiling and giving a nod. “Yeah.”
Before getting out I turned back. “You should try and make up with her. You two make a great couple.”
“I’ll see you on Monday.” Cole said softly.
“Thanks for the ride.” I said before hurrying away and into my house. I leaned against the front door as I listened to him drive away. On my way upstairs to my bedroom I wondered who it was that Cole thought would be so easy to date. I shied away from the obvious answer because that wasn’t something I was prepared to think about.
When Kimber put her mind to something, it got accomplished. It was an admirable trait to have – except in this instance. This time she set her sights on Sam, and things were definitely swinging in her favor. Since the night of the party, Sam and Kimber had been spotted together several times: in the halls at school, outside once classes were dismissed, at the local ice cream shop, and once Sam went to a game that Kimber was cheering at. I knew every detail about every encounter because I had to sit through the play-by-play at lunch. Every. Single. Day.
Ugh.
It made me ache from the inside out. I felt like a tire with a slow leak, except the leak was in my heart. Every single time she mentioned his name and every single time I saw his vibrant white teeth flash at her in a smile, a little bit of my heart deflated. I was hoping that soon there wouldn’t be anything left so it wouldn’t hurt anymore.
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