7 Miles High

by Pike, Leslie

  Now for the first time I see a change in Natalie’s expression. Her set in stone mouth softens just a little. She’s listening at least.

  “Nia wasn’t in any shape to drive, but she wanted to. It would have been irresponsible of me to let that happen. She wasn’t going to wait for a Teamster to drive her, or wait for anyone really. I took the keys and made the decision. I’d do it again.”

  Natalie cocks her head as if to say, ‘I bet you would’. But I think my words are sinking in.

  “When we got to the hospital they were applying the paddles to revive her. She died within an hour.”

  The tears start falling on Natalie’s face, but her expression has remained stoic. I continue.

  “You had my phone. I don’t know your number! You know that’s true. Could you recite your friends’ numbers if you had to? I know I couldn’t. We’re so used to tapping on a name we no longer memorize even the most important ones.”

  “You could have called me in my room,” she says.

  “I did! But you had that privacy block on it. Remember? You did that when we were about to make love. The front desk wasn’t working with me about disregarding your instructions. But even that didn’t stop me. I finally asked to speak to the manager to see if he’d deliver a note. But by then you had checked out! You checked out within a few hours of us being together. Christ, Natalie. You didn’t even give me a chance to explain what happened before you made your move. Nia has no hold on me of any kind. And you chose not to believe that despite what you know about me. I’m not your fucking idiot of an ex-husband. I’m not.”

  I hear the anger in my voice rise. I can’t help myself. We look at each other wordlessly. Neither of us knowing how to proceed forward.

  “How can we go forward when your trust for me isn’t solid? That bothers the shit out of me.”

  I know I’ve said too much, but something came over me in the moment. All that I felt for the last few days and nights flew out of my mouth.

  It can’t just be about what Natalie feels. I’m in this relationship too, and there are some things that I can’t be without. A love without trust is no love at all. I had thought about her always looking out for my reactions to other women and how that would suck for her. But there’s another fly in the ointment. I don’t want to be walking on eggshells around her either.

  She stands silent. But I know everything I’ve just said is being processed. I hope she knows how much I love her, but it’s all or nothing. I’m going for the brass ring. If I can’t capture it, I’ll get off the ride.

  Chapter 24

  Natalie

  I stand frozen in place. Is this really happening? Everything Parker has said swirls in my mind, like the stiff wind whipping my hair. I’m not in control of my thoughts or reactions. An immediate response doesn’t come to me, because I need time to take it all in before coming to any decision.

  I’m not going to rush my words at the cost of weighing them carefully. When I don’t answer, his mood changes. The expression as well. It morphs from hopeful to questioning. Tilting his head and narrowing his eyes as if to say, ‘Why aren’t you answering?’

  “I need to think about this,” I say.

  “Okay. We can think this through.”

  When I don’t explain myself further he takes my hand. I let it happen, but don’t give any more of myself in return. It’s like a dead thing laying in his palm. He feels the disconnect and lets go.

  “Wow. Are things that bad?”

  “I don’t know.”

  “Well, you better figure it out. This isn’t good.”

  He stuffs his hands into the pockets of his jeans and starts to back off. The expression he wears is light years away from normal.

  “I’ve got to tell you, Natalie, this is pissing me off. I didn’t do anything wrong. I didn’t. But you are so wounded from your prior relationship that you’re making those old issues ours. I can understand your hesitation, and a need for an explanation. What I don’t understand is how what we had between us can be altered so easily.”

  “Maybe things are changed,” I say, tears starting a course from my eyes over my cheeks and off my chin.

  “You take all the time you need.” There’s no conviction backing up the words. “Just know that if you can’t believe what I’m saying, what I know is an innocent action, we’re fucked. No other way to look at it.”

  “Maybe you’re right.” I feign agreement.

  One of his hands go up stopping further discussion. “We better be careful before we say something we regret. Something that can’t be unsaid.”

  “If you say so.”

  That pisses him off more than anything I’ve said. The tone of his voice changes and there’s nothing left of the tenderness.

  “I’m seriously considering I misjudged your ability to love me. To even be in love. The mistake I made was thinking it was as strong as mine for you. And by the way,” he says pointing a finger in my direction, “I don’t like how your ex talks to you or the fact he still wants to be with you. But I don’t take it out on you. I don’t mistrust who you are because of his stupidity. All I want is to be afforded the same courtesy.”

  He turns and walks away before I can make a move or respond. An angry wave slams against the shore, punctuating his parting words.

  My legs feel weak. I sit in the sand and watch Parker’s departing figure. Oh God. I try to push down the doubt that’s beginning to edge its way in. But it’s impossible. It’s shown up and won’t be dismissed. Have I made a mistake? Is what he says about me true? Just the idea I’m considering his take on this makes me angry. I need an impartial judge to tell me if I’ve misread the entire thing.

  “Give me a sign, God. Show me the way. Have I been a fool?”

  I wait, but no sign from the heavens appears. Obviously I am that fool waiting for a sign from God. I’ll have to come to my own conclusions like every other human, whether I like it or not. Resting my head on my folded arms I close my eyes and try to center.

  Splat!

  The unmistakable sensation of having something land on your head brings me out of the fog. Reaching a hand up I touch the wet deposit of the large seagull that just landed a few feet in front. Eww! Bird shit!

  That’s was a pretty clear sign. Literal. What I’m doing to this good man is pure crap.

  As soon as I allow the thought to present itself, I know it’s true. All the negativity I threw at this evaporates in the face of truth. The evidence speaks louder than my own conclusions do. What have I been thinking? Parker is not Alex. There’s nothing remotely similar. And I do trust him. I never would have said, ‘I love you’, if I didn’t think he could be trusted.

  It seemed like when one thing changed, everything changed. I let that happen. And to what end? To reach this sad, empty place without the man I love?

  Oh God. What do I do now? Follow him, chase the man, tackle him if you have to. I rise and run back to the entry of the cove, where the beach towel sits crumpled on the sand. Uncovering my phone I try to call him. Shit! There’s no connection here!

  Okay. He just went over the rocks five minutes ago. Catching up shouldn’t be a problem. Hurriedly I wrap the towel around my neck and tuck the cell into my bikini top. Come on now girl, get your ass moving. All I want is to feel him in my arms again. What a fool I’ve been to have made a mountain out of a molehill.

  This wind is blowing harder now, and there’s white caps on the ocean. I make it to the first outcropping of rocks and climb over quicker than I knew I could. Okay. Keep it up! Think I can do this even faster. My high school track days are about to come in handy.

  I see a small figure of a man ahead. That’s Parker! This will be a breeze. As the last thought settles, I jump off the boulder and land on the shifting sand.

  “Ow!” My voice is swallowed by the sound of the sea. The pain in my ankle blocks out everything else. Shit!

  Landing in a pile in front of the boulders, I grab my foot and roll onto my back. Oh no! This hurts
like hell. The tears I’m starting to cry are now about the physical as well as the emotional. What a mess! If I had the time I’d scream and kick my legs like a child having a meltdown.

  Laying on the wet sand to the right my cell glistens in the sunlight. Balls! Oh no! It must have flown out when I fell. Okay, it’s within reach if I just roll over a few times. I push myself onto my stomach and try to elevate my foot as I roll.

  There! Grabbing the phone one second before the last wash of a wave reaches me. It doesn’t go over my body, but drenches my undercarriage and completely soaks the cell. Is it time to start screaming?

  But there’s no time for tantrums. Just do it!

  His figure is getting smaller by the moment. I tell myself to put on my big girl panties and keep going. Somehow I need to make this happen. If I can just get to those people up the beach, they could help. That’s right, aim for that group playing catch with the football.

  It’s too far away for me to yell at them and get their attention. Rolling back to the hard-packed sand, I test my foot without actually standing.

  “Ow!” The pain shoots up my leg. Shit. There’s no way I’ll be able to walk on this. I can’t even stand. What are my options? There’s only one I can see. I start crawling. The progress is excruciatingly slow and the further I go the funnier it gets. I must be crazy to find this humorous, but I do.

  Ten minutes ago I was standing defiant. I was sure my view was the clear one. Now I’m literally crawling my way back. The bikini clad woman with a wet cell phone in her bra making way like a character from a horror film. I may frighten someone if they don’t figure out my problem. Angling toward the group, I continue the metaphorical march for help.

  About a minute ago snot came out of my nose like a tap. Without thinking things through, I went to wipe it and got a face full of sand. Of course it stuck to the snot, went inside my nose and mouth, and now I think there’s a few grains in my right eye. I don’t even have the towel to wipe it off. I abandoned it a few feet back when it got too cumbersome.

  Am I being punked by a disgusted God? Did he look down on how I devalued this great love and make me pay for the insult? I hope not. I hope he sees I’m just a woman who is making her way. Learning what matters. Trying her best to experience real, lasting love.

  Maybe I’m close enough now. I yell for help in the general direction of the group.

  “Help! Somebody help me, please!”

  At first no one hears my pleas over the sound of the crashing waves. I keep it up and add a one armed wave, calling them over.

  “Help me!”

  The head of the youngest player turns toward where I lay. I guess teenage ears are proving to be superior to older friends. He waves his hand to stop the game and starts talking. The other faces look up the beach at the figure crawling in the sand. Yes! Oh good!

  The three men playing, and the boy, start toward me. Two women sitting on beach towels get up and join them. It takes only a minute or so for them to reach me. I waste no time.

  “Oh, thank you! See that man walking down the beach? That’s my boyfriend Parker. He’s wearing a red T-shirt and jeans. Can you get him and tell him I’ve sprained my ankle? He’ll come help.”

  The young kid looks at one of the men and he nods his permission. The boy runs off.

  “Let us help you.”

  There’s all kind of action as the plan is formed. A ten-minute meeting of the minds. I’m surrounded by the chatty group, each having something they want to contribute. Then a beach towel is brought to make me more comfortable. I’ll be pulled by two of the men. There’s a loud conversation as to what we will do when we reach the sea wall.

  “If you can get me over there, Parker will bring the car,” I add. “I don’t think it’ll be a big deal. It’s the getting me there that will be.

  “What did you get yourself into?”

  His beautiful voice cuts through all the others. My heart rate elevates as soon as I know he’s near. Like a scene in a movie, the crowd parts to let him come to me. I look up and see the smile and the sea blue eyes and most of all the forgiveness in them. I start crying.

  It surprises everyone but Parker. He kneels down and moves a sandy strand hanging in front of my eyes.

  “What’s this all about? You crying because you miss me?” As he says it he’s rubbing my arm. “Did you figure out you love me too much to waste any more time?”

  I nod my head and try to control my wobbling chin. There’s no way I can speak. I can barely control the tears that threaten to burst out of control into sobs.

  “Okay, babe. We’re going to get you to the wall and then I’ll take it from there.”

  “Think you can carry her?” The short guy with the seventies porn mustache adjusts his waistband and puffs his chest. “I can do it if you can’t.”

  Parker doesn’t call him out for trying to out macho him. He doesn’t have to.

  “I’ve got her.”

  I find my voice, shaky though it is. “Yes, you do.” I say it so only Parker hears.

  The stunning smile is all I need. There’s no intuition required for him to see how much it affects me. I’m the girl under the spell of her great love. I don’t care if I have to be on crutches, or a cast. All I care about is us being together. Unbreakable.

  He stands and reaches for the beach towel in one of the girl’s hands.

  “Can we use this?”

  “Sure. Here.”

  The towel is passed and Parker lays it right next to me. “Okay babe, can you turn over? I”ll do the rest.”

  I turn on my back, now half my body on half the towel. He comes around to my head and links his arms under my armpits. Lifting my upper half to the middle of the terrycloth. He comes to my feet.

  “I’ll be gentle, but this might hurt a little.”

  “Go for it.”

  “Oh my God, be careful!” the woman who’s been quiet up til now calls.

  With tenderness he lifts one leg and then the other, till I’m centered on my colorful chariot.

  “Good job.”

  “Okay let’s pull her slowly to the wall.” Then to mustache man. “Maybe you can take the other corner.”

  That makes the young guy happy and he weighs in. “Watch out for rocks and glass!”

  “Hold on, Natalie. I’m taking you home.”

  With great care I’m pulled across the sand. Yard by yard, Parker and his helper drag me to the cement wall.

  “Okay, climb over and I’ll pass her to you. We’re just going to sit you on the wall, Natalie. Then I’ll jump over and get you.”

  “I’m ready when you are,” I say sitting up, fists in the sand.

  “Just give me a second,” the guy says, straddling the wall and then stepping down onto the walkway on the other side. Before I have the chance to prepare myself, Parker slips his arms under me and lifts me into his strong arms.

  “Oh!”

  “You alright?”

  “I’m fine, baby,” I say, snuggling close.

  How he can so steadily walk the three steps required is beyond me. But he does. I’m set atop the wall.

  “This feels good to be upright! Thank you both.”

  “Welcome. You need me to help get her in the car?”

  “Yeah, man. I’ve got to go get it. It’ll take about fifteen minutes. Can you watch over my girl till I get back?”

  * * *

  We lay in my bed, tangled up in each other. Moonlight through the window reaches across the room and settles on Parker’s face.

  “I can’t believe you carried me up the steps here. Was I heavy?”

  “I may have a hernia,” he teases.

  A playful little punch connects with his chin.

  “Put it on the list of things I have to be forgiven for. Are you running out of ink?” I say.

  He kisses my neck.

  “Let go of whatever regrets you have in that pretty head of yours. There’s nothing to forgive.”

  “You’re the best man I’ve
ever known.”

  “I’m glad you finally came to the conclusion.”

  I look up into his eyes. “It took me a long time to get here. Longer than it took for you to believe in me.”

  “But we’re here now.”

  “I’ll never stop loving you, Parker.”

  He takes my hand and kisses it with tenderness born of love.

  “Our life is going to be a great adventure, Natalie. I know it. There’s nothing that can come between us. Not ever again.”

  Epilogue

  Natalie

  One Year Later

  How life has changed. A year ago it looked very different. Funny how when you look back the puzzle pieces of life seem to fit so effortlessly. Hindsight has a much clearer lens. What I didn’t know then is what’s meant to be finds a way. You can screw things up royally and still end up together. You can take a wrong turn and still right yourself. Fate has the final say.

  I remember thinking I’d never leave Santa Barbara. Not because I was tied to the city so tightly. It was because of my career. Actually, if it wasn’t for that, I would have relocated after the divorce. It was like a pall had settled on the streets and I just got accustomed to it. I didn’t see it clearly until Parker came into my life. That’s when I realized how much it meant to have contentment.

  I’d worked so hard to build my clientele, that I couldn’t have fathomed moving. But God works in strange ways. Sometimes he lets a seagull shit on you for dramatic affect and sometimes he brings people into your life that will take you to new heights.

  That’s what happened when Bliss and Nicki became my friends. Compared to mine, their business was in another stratosphere. So when they offered me a position, it was a no brainer to take advantage of it. It’s been a wonderful pairing of our strengths. They let me fly free. Once we worked together for a few months, it was obvious we all had made the right move.