Yours Book 1: Losing My Innocence

by Blue Saffire

  “Come here,” he says firmly. I walk over to where he is seated and he stands to pull out the chair at the top of the table. “This is your team. You will lead them from here. Sit.”

  “Thank you,” I murmur.

  I take the seat he offers, placing my tablet on the table and smoothing my sweaty palms on my slacks. Nick takes his seat once again and returns his attention to his tablet. I still have ten minutes to spare. I open my notes and look over the points I wanted to touch upon.

  Nick leans in toward me and crook his finger for me to bend my head to his. “You will be fine, Sephora. I would not have given you this position if I didn’t think you could do it. Just relax. Don’t let them see your nerves,” he says softly while giving me a reassuring smile.

  “Okay,” I sigh and nod my head.

  “Breathe, Baby,” his eyes drop to my lips and his smile broadens.

  Nick continues to murmur to me about the project list and his expectations as the room starts to fill. I find myself much more relaxed as we start to talk about the programs and the ideas I have after looking over the files and projections for my department.

  Nick is really easy to talk to as a boss. I am not sure if that is because he is trying to relax me or if it is because he is my boyfriend. As more people come in he starts to greet others with the same easy manner which makes me relax further.

  I smile as Kimmie, Lily, and my new assistant Regina enters the room. They all make their way over to sit lined up to my left. Mark walks in not too long after they take a seat further down the table. Once the top of the hour arrives, I look at Nick for guidance and he gives me a slight nod to go ahead and start.

  “I want to thank everyone for coming to this meeting. I know you all have a lot on your plates and I won’t take more of your time than I need,” I start. “I am Sephora Emilsson and I am your new team manager. I want to get to know you all by name and face since we will be working closely together to insure we are meeting Mr. Lincoln’s expectations. If we can just go around the table, give your name and what you do here at FLI, that will help me become familiar with everyone.”

  I am proud of myself, I do not sound half as scared as I feel. From the smile I can see on Nick’s face from the corner of my eyes, I figure he is pleased as well. Regina starts with the introductions being the closest to me on my left and the group goes around the table from there until coming to Nick.

  “Nicholas Lincoln, your boss,” Nick says more to me than to the group and I don’t miss the smug grin nor the loaded meaning in his words. Laughter rings out around the room.

  I clench my thighs and clear my throat as I pull myself together. Oh holy crap, is he trying to turn my brain into mush. I look down at my notes on my tablet to remember my thoughts.

  It takes me a moment, but I find my thoughts and my voice and move on. We discuss the projects and workload and things are going smoothly. I am so pleased with my first meeting.

  “Any questions,” I ask once I have finished with all my points.

  “Sephora, I just wanted to remind some of the newer members of the team to make sure they are cc-ing myself and my team in their daily reports. I seem to be missing some from earlier in the week,” Lily chimes in politely.

  “Excuse me,” a handsome guy says from down on the other end of the table. He has brown wavy hair and looks to be around Ettie’s age, with blue eyes and laugh lines. He is giving me a cocky grin as he addresses me. I think he said his name is Norman. “Sephora, can we have your company email address to cc you on our reports.”

  “Miss. Emilsson,” Nick growls from beside me.

  “Yes,” I turn to him and reply. Surprised by his outburst. He hasn’t spoken much during the meeting.

  His eyes are trained on Norman. “Mr. Berkman, you will address her as Miss. Emilsson,” Nick hisses with narrowed eyes.

  Norman drops the cocky grin and pales as he shrinks back into his seat. Nick’s grip on the pen in his hand is so tight his knuckles are white. The tension in the room cracks like a whip. I am losing control of my first meeting.

  “Sephora is fine, Mr. Lincoln,” I say softly.

  Nick’s head whips toward me as he fixes his narrowed glare at me. “Miss. Emilsson will forward an email to you and the rest of the team after this meeting from her company email, Mr. Berkman and I will remind you the company emails can and will be reviewed,” Nick says tightly, putting emphases on my last name.

  I sit in shock for a moment. I look over at Kimmie and I can tell she is fighting a fit of laughter. I am so embarrassed. I quickly adjourn the meeting before I start to blush and squirm from mortification.

  I stand to make my way out of the boardroom and back to the safety of my office. “Sephora,” Nick’s voice cracks through the air. I turn to acknowledge him. “I would like you to stay behind please.”

  I nod in response and on shaky legs walk back to my seat. He waits for everyone to empty out of the room and close the door behind them. He gracefully and swiftly closes the distance between us. Placing his fingers under my chin to lift my face so that I look him in the eyes.

  “You are mine; it will be best if you did not give your subordinates the idea that you are available. Norman has quite a reputation around the office with the ladies. I will not have him addressing you so informally. Do you understand?” He says gently.

  I nod while doing my best not to cry. Nick kisses the corner of my mouth and places his forehead to mine. “You did very well, Baby. I’m proud of you,” he says while stroking my cheek. After placing one more kiss to the other corner of my mouth, he turns retrieves his tablet and strolls from the room.

  I bury my face in hands. There will definitely be office gossip following this meeting.

  Chapter Seven

  The Lie

  I am so relieved to be done with the day. Winston is waiting for us outside the office when Kimmie, Mark, and I exit the building. Mark wanted to tag along to hang out at the apartment. I didn’t mention my plans with Nick for tonight. I’m not even sure I still plan to go.

  Mark and Kimmie already have plans to watch a movie and Kimmie is going to cook. Mark’s scowl is becoming more and more familiar lately. It appeared the moment Kimmie and I climbed into the SUV. I am so lost in my thoughts of the day that I almost missed it, until I feel his hot glare on me.

  “Is this one of the benefits of your contract,” Mark asks in a low accusatory tone.

  Kimmie laughs, “Oh, that is rich and so close to the truth it is scary.”

  “What is that supposed to mean?” I grumble.

  “Not my place. But I am considering looking into a for dummies book for you,” Kimmie teases.

  “What are you two babbling about,” Mark murmurs with an irritable frown.

  “Nothing,” I sigh. “No, it is not a benefit of my contract.”

  Mark’s shoulders sag and he turns to look out of the window. I turn to do the same becoming lost in my thoughts again. Kimmie sits between us shaking her head before sinking back into her seat. I just want to take a shower and wash the day away. I am happy that my friends understand me enough to leave me to myself.

  The remainder of the ride is quiet and once inside the apartment I go straight to my room to decide what I will do about dinner with Nick tonight. I won’t stand him up like last night. I will just text him or call him and let him know I need some time to myself for tonight.

  I growl at my closet while staring at my new wardrobe. Ettie seriously didn’t have to get rid of all my sweats. I just want something familiar and comfortable after a day of confusion and frustration. After stumbling around my closet and fishing through my drawers, the closest I come to sweats are a pair of black cotton pajama pants and a pink tank top.

  I wiggle my bare pink painted toes and laugh at how much my life has changed in such a short time. Kimmie and Ettie had dragged me to the spa yet again for a mani-pedi, droning on and on about beauty maintenance. My shoulders slump and I sigh. Even the smallest things in my life seem to
be whatever everyone else wants.

  Well I still have some control and I plan to exercise it right now. I grab my phone from my dresser and start a text to Nick. With a sigh of relief, I send it.

  Me: Sorry, I need to cancel tonight.

  Nick: Why?

  Me: Not feeling well.

  Okay, so I’m a coward. I’ve never done this before. I have a feeling telling Nick that I don’t want to go on a date with him because he totally embarrassed me in front of my team and made me cry seems immature. I am also sure it would not work for him. Several minutes pass before he sends a reply. At first I didn’t think he was going to.

  Nick: Okay.

  His single word reply seems so weighted. I’m not sure if I am relieved or offended. I shrug it off and head out to hang with my friends. I need something normal right now, something I know. As soon as I hear Mark’s laugh rumble through the apartment, I feel my body relax.

  We spend the next hour sitting around the kitchen island while Kimmie cooks. I help to cut the vegetables while Mark jokes about us taking too long with his dinner. Saying that with two women in his life he should be getting better service. We are all laughing when the doorbell rings.

  “You guys expecting someone?” Mark asks as he stands up, stretching and heads for the door.

  I look at Kimmie to see if she is and she shrugs, “No.”

  Moments later laughter is heading our way and both Kimmie and I groan. I look over at her and roll my eyes. Can’t I just have one night, just one. I gave Kimmie an apologetic smile and still myself for what is to come.

  “Hey Lilla du,” my brother croons as he kisses my forehead, then claims a seat at the island.

  “Luke,” I sigh.

  “Is that anyway to greet your brother?” Luke chuckles and tilts his head at me.

  “No Sir, you are so right. What can I do for you, Sir?” I bite out.

  Luke’s face turns bright red and Kimmie starts choking behind me. I didn’t mean to betray her, but I am so fed up with not having control that I need to let some of this frustration out somewhere. Kimmie grabs my arm and squeezes it.

  “Can I talk to you,” she hisses.

  “Hell, we’re all family. Why don’t we all talk,” Luke growls.

  “Dude, this is not what it seems, Luke and I think you should think before you say anything else,” Kimmie says through tight lips.

  “Did you think before you spoke,” Luke looks so pissed. He is now standing and looking more imposing than I have ever seen. My brother is over six feet tall and very fit, but until this very moment I never calculated how broad his shoulders are or how he could dwarf a room.

  I hear the moment Kimmie draws in a breath of air. She drops my arm and takes a step back, dropping her head and shaking it in a soundless response to Luke. My eyes flicker between the two of them in confusion and surprise. I have never seen Kimmie back down from anyone. It is one of the things I admire about her.

  “Then maybe it is you and I that need to finally have a conversation,” Luke commands.

  “Why don’t you guys go talk. Luke, you and I can talk later,” I just want to be left alone and Kimmie is obviously keeping more from me.

  “Oh, you can bet we are going to talk, Lilla du,” Luke says sharply.

  Kimmie walks over to Luke with her head down and when she stops in front of him, he leans into her ear and whispers something. Kimmie looks up into his eyes like she is lost while her chest heaves. Oh my God, how did I not see this before. There is so much sexual tension between the two of them. Even someone as naive as me can see it. Without a word Kimmie’s head drops and they leave the room.

  I shake my head to clear my jumbled thoughts. Starting the task of finishing dinner, I wondering what Kimmie is not telling me. It’s clear that sometime over the last four years Kimmie’s crush became something more and not just on her behalf.

  “And I thought moving out of the dorms was going to make life dull,” Mark chuckles, reminding me that he has been sitting here this whole time.

  “I moved in with Kimmie, Mark. I will never have a dull life. I told you, you should consider moving in with us,” I sing, causing us both to laugh the tension out of the room.

  It’s has been at least an hour and Kimmie and Luke haven’t come out of her room. Mark and I flop in front of the TV with dinner and laugh at a comedy he ordered. It feels good, normal. It’s been so long since I have felt like this.

  Like nothing matters but spending time with someone I care about. After college, after my parents’ divorce, after everything turned on its head and life became a spiraling mess my only way of holding on was to throw myself into my computer and my books.

  It isn’t until this very moment that I realize how helpless I felt. Here I am in my very own apartment, I have my dream job, and I may even have my first boyfriend, all of which may sound awesome on the outside. To me it is an apartment my brother chose, a job I was bullied into and a relationship that I am starting to feel bullied into as well.

  But my friendship with Mark is my doing. I chose to be friends with him and it feels good, familiar. I finish my food and find myself snuggling into Mark’s side. He wraps his arm around my shoulders and I feel happy to have him in my life. I don’t remember when he became so important in my life, but he did and he is.

  “Mark, why hasn’t some lucky girl kept you from spending so much time with me and Kimmie,” I muse out loud.

  He barks out a laugh and tightens his arm around me. “I always want the ones that don’t know I exist,” he says sadly.

  “Well, I think you are a great catch and some girl is going to be very lucky when you give her your heart,” I look up into his eyes and see a pained look in them.

  Before I can ask about it Kimmie enters the room and flops down on my other side. She looks flustered and frustrated. I look to see if Luke is going to follow her in, but there is no sight of him.

  “What happened to my brother,” I ask.

  “He said he’ll talk to you later. Nina called whining about something,” she informs me. Her words are dripping with venom and I am not sure if it is for Luke or Nina.

  “Well, at least I got both my girls back.”

  “Oh Mark please, I’ve tried to ditch you tons of times and Sophi keeps letting you back in,” Kimmie teases.

  “Be nice,” I giggle.

  Mark tosses a pillow at Kimmie while she laughs. After a bit more teasing, we settle into watching another movie. This time Kimmie and I have Mark sandwiched in while we all share a bowl of popcorn. Kimmie groans when the doorbell rings again.

  “I’ll get it,” she huffs.

  “I guess Luke didn’t want to wait to talk to me,” I murmur. I place my head on Mark’s shoulder and tilt my head up to see his face. “This may get ugly.”

  “Your brother seriously only wants the best for you,” Mark looks down at me with a huge grin.

  “Yeah, well, I want to make my own decisions for once,” I pout.

  Mark laughs at me and tossed his arm around my shoulder locking me against his chest. “You always make decisions for yourself. Luke just steps in to make things happen.”

  “Whatever,” I sigh. “Hey, why don’t you crash here tonight. We don’t have to work; we can do some gaming or something tomorrow.”

  “Am I interrupting something,” a deep voice booms into the room. My heart starts to race and I can feel my face flush.

  I look over to see Kimmie biting her lip while Nick stands beside her. Nick’s face is a mask of steel as his eyes rake over me from head to toe, then he takes in Mark’s arm around me and his proximity to me. I quickly sat up and pull away from Mark.

  Mark has his new signature scowl in place. It feels like I am taking in the scene from outside of my body. Mark’s scowl and tense body language and Nick’s heated glare all come into view. As his mask of steel slips for just a moment I can see that he… One, is pissed off. Two, he instantly knows that there is nothing wrong with me and I have lied to him earlier.
Three, Mark may not have a job come Monday and if he doesn’t get out of this room soon, he might not have an arm either.

  “Um, Mark, can you come help me in my room with that shelf I was telling you about?” Kimmie chirps nervously.

  I shoot a glare her way. She is leaving me alone with a pissed of Nicholas Lincoln and she hadn’t thought to worn me that she let him in in the first place. She gives me an apologetic wince as she grabs Mark and drags him from the room.

  Nick remains standing where he is glaring at me. I feel like his green eyes are piercing through my skin. Heat blankets my skin and I can feel the sweat breaking out on my upper lip. Thoughts of the meeting this afternoon flood my mind and I cringe at what his plans are for my friend. Nick was on the verge of exploding when Norman spoke to me. When he walked in, Mark had his arm around me and we were pressed close to one another. This could be bad.

  His eyes narrow and I swear I can see him thinking. Ugh, what is he doing here anyway? He’s your boyfriend dummy, you told him you were sick. Oh crap, screw my life.

  Why didn’t I think he would stop by to check on me if I said I wasn’t feeling well? Maybe because I have no clue about being in a relationship and I know nothing about him other than what the papers and second hand stories from Luke have told me.

  I swallow the lump in my throat and try to sit up a little straighter. Patting the couch beside me, I offer him a seat. “Want to sit down?”

  “Your room, now,” his voice is husky and tight.

  I nod and stand from the couch to head toward my room. Suddenly images of Kimmie with Luke earlier pop into my head. I wonder if this is how she felt and what had he whispered to her?

  Nick snaps me out of my reverie as soon as we enter my room. He shuts the door behind us and spins me around pressing my back against it. The hot and raw animal energy rolling off of him is pliable. His jaw is set tight and his green eyes burn into mine. My breath hitches at the sight of this gorgeous man hovering over me with his body pressed tightly against mine. My breasts heave against his chest begging for something only this man can give me and my thighs tighten at the thought of the pleasure my brain knows he can guarantee.