Yours Book 1: Losing My Innocence

by Blue Saffire

  “Hello,” Nick says into the phone. He stops in front of me and starts to dry me off dropping a kiss on my lips. “No Mrs. Emilsson, it’s Nick. …” he laughs into the phone at her response.

  “Yes, ma’am, sorry, I will call you Faraz. …No you didn’t dial me by accident, this is Sephora’s phone. … I’m great and yourself? …” he throws his head back and laughs again.

  “I told Luke to tell you my door is always open to you. … Sure, we can do lunch this week, I’ll do my best to help with whatever it is. … Yes, ma’am, well now you have me curious. …Wednesday would be great. I’ll have my assistant take care of the reservations and give you a call to tell you where.”

  Nick bundles me in the towel, kisses my forehead, then covers the phone with his hand. “I put some things out for you?”

  I nod and mouth, thank you. He gives me a wink and follows me out of the bathroom as I go back into my room. I can feel his eyes on me and something naughty in me wants to see if I can hold his attention. I drop the towel to the floor and do my best to put a sway to my hips. I walk to the bed where I see a red lace bra and lace and silk boy shorts. I make a mental note of what he likes.

  “Faraz, I’m so sorry, but I have an important call coming in on my phone…. No Sephora is actually not available at the moment, but I will tell her to call you back.” He tries to rush my mom along as I bend over to step into my panties and wiggle my hips as I pull them up.

  “I’ll let her explain because I really need to take this call. See you Wednesday,” Nick says ending the call. He tosses my phone next to the white t-shirt and jeans he set out for me.

  “Nick,” I squeal when he scoops me into his arms and growls at me.

  He tosses me on the bed and covers me with his body. Wrapping my arms around him I pull him down to kiss my lips. I start to squirm beneath him when he cups my breasts.

  “Do you like teasing me,” he asks with an amused smile.

  “Serves you right for answering my phone. Do you know the third degree my mother is going to give me once I call her back?”

  “Answering her shouldn’t be hard at all. You’ll just tell her that I am your man and you were in the bathroom when she called and were indisposed.” Nick frowns and searches my face. “You haven’t told anyone, have you?”

  “Yes, I have. I told Kimmie,” I say sheepishly.

  All playfulness disappears and Nick rolls up and steps off the bed. I sit up to watch him. He tugs on his dress shirt and starts to button it with his lips pressed. I chew on my lip nervously and reach for my bra to pull it on.

  I dress quickly as I watch him move around tensely. When he sits on the bed to put his shoes on I crawl over to him and put my arms around him. “Nick, did I do something wrong?”

  “I want everyone to know you are mine. It kills me to be in the same building with you all day and not be able to openly show you how I feel, but you’re building your career and I want to respect that.

  “But when it comes to your family and friends, they should know. I understand why you may be reluctant with Luke, but it killed me last night when Ettie tried to push Craig’s little friend on me.

  “Why doesn’t your sister know we are together? You say that you and Mark are best friends, but he doesn’t know either. Are you ashamed to be with me?” He shifts to look at me and my mouth drops open.

  He looks hurt and offended. He can’t seriously think that I would be embarrassed by him. I search his eyes, trying to understand.

  “Nick, today makes what… day four of our relationship. Most of which I have spent being confused and unsure. Not to mention that I am so afraid that I am going to wake up any time now to find that I am just dreaming. I’ve never had a boyfriend before. I’m just letting it all sink in. I didn’t tell Ettie because every time we speak it is about her wedding or her wanting to know if I am keeping up with my makeover.

  “I didn’t tell Mark because…” I shrug. “We talk about video games and web coding, not dating. I don’t even know what kind of girls he likes. I only realized that last night at the club when I thought the waitress was interested in him.”

  Nick snorts. “Did that bother you,” his tone is clipped and his eyes are narrowed.

  “What, that she was interested in him? No, I wanted to know if she was his type so maybe I could have helped him hook up with her or something.” I shrug again and crawl into his lap. “I’ll call my sister after you feed me and then I will call my brother and talk to him. Ugh, but you have to give me time with my mother, please.”

  His body relaxes a little as a boyish smile pulls up the corner of his lips. He brushes my damp hair back and kisses my lips. “Pack a bag to stay at my place tonight. We can ride to work together in the morning. I’ll still make sure a car comes for Kimmie and Mark if he stays another night.”

  “Aren’t you the sweetest boyfriend ever,” I tease. “Give me forty minutes to do something with my hair and pack a bag.”

  “Take your time. I’ll go let Kimmie know about the car in the morning,” his smile grows as he stands, pulling me up with him and kisses me quickly before leaving the room.

  Chapter Thirteen

  The House

  Twenty minutes later with my hair towel dried as best as I can get it, dressed in my jeans, t-shirt, and red stilettoes Nick set out for me, I step out of my room with my overnight bag. Nick is sitting on the couch with his ankle crossed over his knee as Kimmie talks to him animatedly.

  Nick’s presence is larger than life, but here he is sitting and listening to Kimmie like she is an old friend, not in the least bothered by her babbling. I adore him for it. Somehow he manages to look like he fits while still consuming the room. However, I don’t miss that Mark is sitting with his laptop and headphone on, scowling at his screen.

  “Hey you,” Kimmie chirps.

  “Hey,” I beam.

  “Oh, so you do still have a voice because last night I was sure you’d be hoarse this morning,” Kimmie says with a mischievous grin.

  I blush right down to my toes. I look at Nick, who is trying not to laugh, then Mark, who is now scowling directly at me and I feel my face heat even more. I blush so hard don’t think all the brown skin in the world could hide it. Last night Kimmie and Mark had not come back in before I fell asleep the first time. I never even thought about it when Nick woke me up again.

  Oh my gosh, if he was concerned about Mark not knowing about us I am sure he knows now. I must have sounded like a total slut. I look down at my shoes and my brows draw together.

  “Oh, stop it Sophi, we are all adults, there is nothing to be embarrassed about. It was actually kind of hot,” Kimmie giggles. “I was so turned on, Mark had to lock the guestroom door so I didn’t jump his bones.”

  “You are so gross,” I laugh. “I’m sorry guys. Next time I’ll think first.”

  “Sophi, trust me. You are only still my roommate because I’m having a dry spell. When I fall off the wagon you will be banging my door down to shut me up,” Kimmie wiggles her eyebrows and gives me a saucy wink.

  Nick laughs this time. He gets up taking my bag and wrapping his arm around my waist. I am still too embarrassed to look up at him. I peek up at Mark and give him an apologetic smile that I am sure comes out more like a grimace.

  “I’m just a guest, boss,” Mark says bitterly.

  His words sting a little. Something went so wrong last night and I have to fix it. I just don’t know what happened or what to do. I start to ask him if we could talk, but my stomach growls in impatience and Nick’s arm tightens around me.

  “Brunch is calling,” Nick says and kisses the top of my head. “I need to feed my girl. You guys understand that we are not ready to announce our relationship at the office for now?”

  “Sure thing, Mr. Lincoln. Your secret is safe with me,” Kimmie says while waving her hand in the air and taking a bow.

  “I get paid to hack and program, not talk about things I don’t understand or happen to be the last one to figure ou
t,” Mark says dryly.

  “I should have told you Mark. It’s just…,” I didn’t know how to finish.

  “It doesn’t matter. Look, I sent you some specs for the game and loaded the changes to the cloud if you care,” Mark says and pops his headphones back in place effectively ending the conversation.

  Kimmie gives me a sad smile and a small shrug. My stomach speaks up again and Nick starts to nudge me toward the door. My mind is full of unfinished and un-had conversations. This is not like me. I have never had a fight with Mark.

  Nick leads me out of the apartment and onto the elevator and pulls me into his arms as I am lost in my thoughts. He kisses the top of my head and inhales deeply. I bury my face in his hard warm chest. It feels so safe and comforting.

  “Don’t get so worked up about him,” Nick sighs. “I would be devastated too if the girl I have been in love with for the last three years started dating our boss.”

  “Mark is not in love with me,” I snort and roll my eyes. I look up into his piercing green eyes to frown at his implication.

  “You really don’t get how beautiful you are, do you? You have no idea the effect you have on men at all. I could see it in his face at the graduation party that you were more than a friend to him,” Nick sighs dryly. “And last night in the club if I didn’t think it would have upset you so much I would have broken his face for the way he touched and looked at you.”

  “That can’t be it. I mean we were study buddies for three years. I would have noticed some….,” Nick cuts my words off with a raised brow and a smirk playing at the corner of his lips.

  Okay, I’ll admit I would have totally missed something like that. The elevator chimes our arrival before I can give another reply. We make our exit, but Nick grabs my hand to stop me when I start for the parking grounds. I turn to look at him and he smiles, nodding in the opposite direction. “We can walk to my place from here.”

  I look at him confused, but follow his lead. We are heading toward the back of the complex with the ocean views. I know my brother paid top dollar for my apartment, but the houses in the back of the complex are out of my league. I would have never asked Luke for something like that though he wouldn’t have blinked to provide it if I had.

  Where my building is a multi-unit building the properties that line the view are vast single units from what Luke told me. I am in awe just from the outside of the unit Nick lead us to. Beautiful roses in vast colors gracefully decorate the courtyard and make it so inviting as you walk to the front door.

  Nick opens the door and I expect to walk into a lobby as he motions for me to enter ahead of him. I stop in my tracks. Nick runs into my back and nudges me forward gently when he notices my hesitation.

  We are not in the lobby like I thought we would be. We are in another courtyard and across from us is an all glass entryway to the foyer of his home. We walk over and he opens the doors to a grand foyer decked out with a stunning chandelier and all. My mouth drops open as I take the grandeur in. It’s not like I’ve never seen a place as beautiful as this. I just was not expecting this in the complex I live in. I mean my apartment is amazing and not too shy of being impressive, but this rivals my mother’s home and our old home in New York.

  There is a grand double staircase that leads to the second floor. The floors are a combination of rich polished marble and rich mahogany hardwood. It feels like the screen of a movie is staring back at me. From where I am standing I can see through to a large living room with floor to ceiling windows that have an amazing ocean view.

  Nick drops my bag to the floor, reminding me that I am just standing here gaping. I spin around and look up at him. I narrow my eyes at him.

  “This is your home? You live in my complex? Why am I not surprised,” I nearly hiss.

  Nick throws his head back and laughs as he wraps his arms around my waist. I wish I found the humor in all of this. I wriggle in his hold wanting my space and to be free in more than just the literal sense. When was anyone going to trust me to be an adult.

  “This is not funny. You and Luke can’t just take over my life and…and treat me like some child you have to keep on a leash,” I growl while pushing at his strong chest.

  He tightens his hold on my waist drawing me against his hard body. “Did anything about last night suggest to you that I see you as a child,” he says bitterly. “Yes, I suggested Luke get you an apartment in this complex, but only after he refused to give in on you living on your own at all. I knew he would see the reasoning in having you in this complex and as a benefit I knew you would be closer to me.

  “Fortunately, you were being so relentless about wanting your own place. Luke didn’t see his error until after securing your apartment,” Nick says with a wolfish grin.

  “And what error was that,” I snap.

  “I’d bought this place, but I hadn’t moved in right away. As far as Luke was concerned, I just owned the complex. Once I knew you would be here I had this place redone to my liking and moved right in,” he shrugs.

  “Stalker,” I soak.

  “When it comes to you,” he shrugs again. “That is quite possible. Baby, I don’t want to make you feel like you have no choice in what we do. You always have a choice, that is a part of the trust we have to have to make this work.”

  I let his words sink in as I look up into his eyes. Winding my arms around his waist I sigh. I really don’t want to fight. It seems like that’s all we seem to do. I don’t want to seem immature.

  “Okay,” I relent as I start to chew on my bottom lip. “But what exactly is this? I mean I know I’m your girlfriend, but that’s not all you want, I’m sure, if I’m understanding this right.”

  My face heats and I drop my eyes. It’s not like I am in a rush for him to spank me as he has threatened to do so many times already. I just want to know what it all means and how far I’m willing to go. I know I am falling for him already, but I’m afraid that Luke may be right. I won’t be able to handle this as well as I hoped I can.

  A part of me is terrified that I won’t be able to handle any of it. Will he change his mind about being with me? I feel the panic rising from the unknown. Could I lose him because I don’t want or understand what he is offering?

  “Don’t over think this Sephora. I told you that I will take my time with you and I mean it. You will always feel safe and I will always bring you pleasure. Trust me and you won’t have to worry about anything. I will always insure your safety in my decisions, but I will force nothing on you. By giving in to me, you always have the upper hand.”

  I just nod my assent, still not sure of what I signed up for, but I do trust him. I push up on my toes and plant a chaise kiss to his lips, but he is having none of that. Pushing his long fingers into my hair, he holds me to him and deepens the kiss. When he pulls away, I am breathless and aching for more.

  Kissing me on the forehead, he says, “make yourself at home,” he swats me on the behind. “I’m going to change and then I’m going to make my beautiful girl some breakfast.”

  I couldn’t help blushing when he calls me beautiful. It is so surreal that I am here with this beautiful man. I watch as he bends to pick up my bag, then walks away up the stairs. I stand there feeling like if I look away he will disappear and this would all be a dream. I will be Sophi with the unibrow, hiding in a mass of hair, thick glasses and ugly oversized sweats.

  When he disappears up the steps I shake my head at my thoughts. He said make myself at home so I start a little tour of the first floor. To my right I find a home office inside a set of heavy wooden doors. Everything in this room is so masculine. It smells of Nick, musky, fresh mountain rain and spice. I can just imagine him sitting behind the large mahogany desk commanding his world.

  From what I read Nick took over his family business when he was twenty-three and took it from millions to billions. They call him a genius, ruthless, and stern when it comes to business. Nick helped Lucian as much as he would allow after Daddy died. Between the two of them, Luke
has gotten the family business moving in the right direction faster than anyone expected.

  I look around his office hoping to find some pictures. I want to see the real Nicholas Lincoln not the one that they portray in the papers and on the internet. I would love to see his handsome face as a boy. After meeting him the first time I paid more attention to the pictures Luke had of him from college. Memorizing that smile and those eyes. It was nothing like the real thing, but I made do.

  I am a little crestfallen to find that there are no pictures in the office at all. Beautiful paintings, but no pictures to personalize the space at all. I leave the office and my heels click across the floor as I make my way to the next room. I peek into the large space and am surprised to find a large library slash entertainment room.

  The walls are lined with books and soft looking benches are built at the base of the shelves. I could imagine seating on them being so close to the books and loving the smell of old pages and binding. Just the smell alone would invoke so much comfort for me.

  There’s a large sofa placed in front of the large flat screen and fire place. Large comfy chairs flank the sofa giving the room a soft and relaxing feel. There is a bar in the far right hand corner. My guess is that this room is more for having friends over than for Nick’s taste. When thinking of Nick, I would expect the library, but I would not have pictured the TV.

  I step out of that room and make my way to the large sitting room with the windows and the view. There is a large fireplace in this room as well and it is lit with beautiful glass rocks, but that is not what gets my attention in this room. Sitting before the fireplace with accent chairs and a more formal looking sofa is a violin. Not just any violin, it is breathtaking and electric. It is fuchsia and black and curved in the shape of an S.

  I blink a few times as I look at the violin. I used to play. It is one of the things only my family knows. I used to play for my father in the study after dinner. It was our special time. That was until I felt betrayed by him and all his lies. I couldn’t touch my violin after that. It was something I loved, but also something we shared.