by Marie Savage
Chapter 13
Julie
I’m not even excited about my appointment this morning. I want to be, but I want to share it with him. I had all intentions of telling him about the babies Friday night until Renee interfered. I’m still torn, I’m still scared.
I’m exhausted, and at this point, maybe I should just move back to Clover, like Carl and Holly want me to. Carl called me last night and gave me an ultimatum, I have until tonight to tell Ben or he will be on his way in the morning.
Bo starts barking, alerting me that someone has pulled up. I get up to check through the window and see Ben heading to my door. This seriously can’t be happening right now. He can’t be here now, I’m not ready. How will I get rid of him so I can go to my appointment? I check myself in the mirror. Will he notice the baby bump that is becoming harder to hide now?
“Good morning.” He smiles as I open the door for him.
“Good morning. What are you doing here? Why aren’t you at work?”
“I didn’t have to go in after all, so I decided to work on that leak under your sink,” Ben says as he brushes past me and heads for the kitchen.
He stops and pets Bo for a few seconds before setting down his tools. This can’t be happening. I have to leave in twenty minutes for my appointment. I quickly walk into the kitchen to join him. My mind is racing to find an excuse so he will leave.
“How’s Dustin, is he better?” I ask.
“Yeah, he’s back to his old self. He’s at my sister’s right now.”
“Mary? How’s she doing?”
“She’s great. She told me to tell you hello,” he says as he works his way under the sink.
“Ben, I appreciate you coming over, but I was really hoping you could do this tonight. I have an appointment I have to leave for in a few minutes.”
“Ah, this won’t take me that long. Sit down and relax. Could I bother you for a cup of coffee?”
“Sure, but a quick one, okay? I really need to leave in a few minutes.”
“Where you going again?” he asks as he starts clanking on the pipes.
“Huh?” I ask.
“Your appointment? Where’s your appointment?” he yells out.
“In town,” I respond, setting his cup down on the counter.
“Do you need a ride? I’m not doing anything this morning. I’d be happy to drive you. Can you hand me that wrench that’s on the counter?”
I quickly hand him the wrench, hoping he is almost done.
“Thanks. So, what about that ride?”
“No, thank you. You’re busy, and I don’t want to bug you.”
“No trouble at all. We can go to your appointment and then have some lunch somewhere. I feel bad about the other night and would like to make it up to you.”
“That sounds lovely but you don’t have to. Maybe another time, though.”
“Okay, no problem, if you say so. I do have a question, though.”
“What’s that?” I ask him, watching the clock as time is ticking away fast.
“Do you think we are having a boy or a girl?” I hear him mumble from underneath the sink.
“What?” I say, hoping I didn’t hear him correctly.
He peeks out at me from under the sink, a huge smile on his face. “I said, do you think we are having a boy or a girl?” He gives me a jovial look. It’s not at all the expression of a man who is angry about a secret I’ve been keeping.
I stand frozen, staring at him and realizing that the time has finally come to face the situation. It’s like a boulder has been lifted off my shoulders that I didn’t even realize was weighing me down as much as it was.
“How did you …?” Are the only words I can manage to say.
“Well, there have been clues,” he says as he gets up and brushes himself off. “The fact that you stopped drinking coffee was one,” he says, taking the cup from the counter and taking a sip. “The fact that you wouldn’t have a drink Friday night was another. But I really found out when your doctor’s office called me this morning,” he says still smiling.
He’s not angry. He’s not shouting. Is it possible? Is he happy?
“I guess you have me as your emergency contact and as your husband.” He grins again, stepping near me. “I like that you did that.”
I’m not sure if I’m relieved, scared, happy, or sad, but I put my face down and cover it with my hands as I start crying. “Oh, Ben, I’m so sorry I didn’t tell you sooner,” I wail as he quickly pulls me to him, letting me hang on to him for support.
“Shh, babe, it’s okay.” Ben hugs me tighter and supports me as I collapse in his arms.
“I wanted to tell you sooner but I was afraid,” I sob.
“Shh, it’s going to be okay. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you. I was just teasing you,” he says as I lose myself in his arms. It feels just like before, when things were right between us and I would cry in his arms. He lifts me up and turns to sit down in a chair, with me on his lap. He holds me and lets me cry it out. I don’t hold back—months of frustration, sadness, and loneliness, all coming out at once.
I’m not sure how long we even sit there holding each other. I hold on to him, pulling from his strength and finally feel the relief that we no longer have this secret between us. I finally sit up and prepare to answer his questions.
“Better?” he asks as he hands me a tissue from the box on the table.
I nod as I take one and begin wiping my eyes and blowing my nose. “Are you mad at me?” I ask, even though I’m sure I know the answer. After all, why wouldn’t he be mad?
“No, baby, I’m not mad. I just don’t understand why you’ve kept this from me.”
“I was scared to tell you.”
“Why?” He looks at me, pleading for me to be honest.
“I was afraid you wouldn’t believe me. I was afraid you would think I was trying to trap you … like Renee did,” I add.
“Baby, I know things have been crazy between us since I left, but I know you wouldn’t lie to me about something this important. I know you wouldn’t try to trap me. Dammit, Julie, I love you and I’m tired of this wall between us.”
“Oh, Ben, I never stopped loving you. It’s always been you. I love only you,” I cry to him once more.
He takes my face in his hands, feverishly kissing away my tears, and soon our lips find each other and rejoice. This is our turning point as we hold each other tightly. No one is going to tear us apart ever again. We continue to kiss as if it was a lifetime ago since we said we loved each other.
I pull back long enough to plead to him. “Ben, make love to me. I need you so much. I need to feel you again.”
He starts kissing my neck, still holding me close. “Is it okay? Can we? I don’t want to hurt you,” he whispers.
“Yes, I need you. Please make love me.”
Ben lifts me up in his arms and heads for the bedroom—our bedroom.
Ben
This is not what I expected this morning when I woke up, and if I’m dreaming, I hope I don’t fucking wake up. I carry her to the bedroom—to our bed. She wants me to make love to her. It’s the easiest request I’ve ever had.
I don’t even remember removing our clothes, but here we are in bed, skin on skin as I worship her body. Her body has changed but I love all the changes. Her breasts are larger and her nipples are darker and harder, but her skin is so soft, and her smell … she’s my Julie. Mine.
I start kissing her, working my way down her body. I don’t want to leave any of her untouched by me. Call it animalistic, but I need to reclaim what’s mine. When I get to her growing belly, I kiss it, kissing the life that our love created. When I’m finally done getting reacquainted with her body, I slowly enter her, watching for any indication that I might be hurting her. There is none as she rears her body up to greet me. We start moving together, our bodies in sync as if they haven’t been apart for all these months.
Once more, I take her lips as we make love. I know this will be
quick, but it is also only the beginning. Now that I have her back in my arms, I’m never leaving her again. Both of us pick up momentum, racing for our climax, needing the release that has been building since the day I saw her at the hardware store. When we finally reach that point, we reach it together as we both sigh in satisfaction. I turn us to our sides to avoid crushing her as I take her lips once again. I remain inside her, not wanting to leave. I am happy, I’m in love, and I am home again.
Chapter 14
Julie
After we make incredible love, Ben lays his head on my naked stomach and gently stokes it. Every so often, he kisses it sweetly as I stroke his hair.
“Why did the doctor’s office call you?” I ask him. It dawns on me that I’ve now missed my appointment and will need to call them.
“To reschedule your appointment. It’s for tomorrow at nine o’clock.” He looks over at me and smiles. “They said they tried to call you.”
“Oh, I must have had my phone on silent.”
He looks at my stomach again, running his fingers gently over it.
“Stop, that tickles.” I laugh.
“Wow, we have a baby in there.”
“Oh, yeah about that …” I get serious as I realize that I have one more important thing to tell him.
Ben senses my serious tone and looks up at me concerned. “What? Is the baby okay? Are you okay?” He sits up, looking alarmed.
“They’re fine, at least the last time I was checked. Calm down, papa.”
“Oh, good.” He relaxes, making his way back down to me. He leans in to kiss me and stops. “Wait … what did you just say?” he asks, giving me a funny look.
I smile, realizing he did hear me.
“You … you said they, didn’t you?”
I nod my head.
“That means more than one. There’s more than one baby in here?” he says, touching my stomach again.
“Uh huh. Twins.”
“Twins? Like you?” He looks at me again.
“Not exactly. Jason and I were fraternal twins. The doctor said these are identical twins. I’m not sure yet if they are boys or girls, though. That is what today’s visit was for, if the ultrasound showed it. It might still be too early to tell. So, I guess might know tomorrow.”
Ben reaches down and once again places kisses on my stomach. It’s so sweet, the way he wants these babies. It makes me wonder why I ever feared telling him.
“Ben, I’m sorry I waited so long to tell you, but please know that no matter what, I always planned to tell you. Eventually.”
“Is that why you wanted to talk tonight?” he asks.
“Yes.”
“Julie, I want you to be honest with me. If I would have stayed and met with you that morning at Carl’s, after the wedding, you were going to tell me then, weren’t you?”
“Yes.”
Ben shakes his head. “I’m such a fucking jerk.”
“No, you’re not. I understand how badly I hurt you. I don’t blame you for leaving.”
Ben stays silent for a while as he lies next to me. I don’t want him putting this all on himself. I turn and lie on top of him, facing him. “I know what you’re doing. You’re going to blame yourself, but I don’t want you doing that.”
“We’ve wasted so much time. If only I would have just taken you with me on New Year’s. You begged me to and I didn’t listen.”
“Hindsight is always twenty-twenty. We have to both stop beating ourselves up. We’re human, we make mistakes.”
“When did you become so mature and wise, kitten?” He smiles, touching my cheek.
“I think pregnancy is bringing it out in me.” I smile, kissing his lips. “You know what else pregnancy does?” I ask him, slowly kissing his chest as I work my way down.
“I’m afraid to ask.” He laughs
“You know, I have lots to do to this house before the babies arrive,” Ben says as he helps himself to another bite of my Fruity Pebbles.
“What you need to do is go and get your own bowl of cereal and quit stealing mine.”
“I can’t help it, we worked up quite the appetite,” he says before trying to steal one more bite.
“Get your own. I’m eating for three, remember?” I tease before handing him over the spoon.
“Are you sure you’re okay? I didn’t hurt you earlier, did I?” Ben lies back next to me, his hand on my stomach. Even this early, I feel him wanting to protect us.
“I’m fine. I’m better than fine,” I try to reassure him.
“You think it’s safe for the babies? Us having sex, I mean.”
“The doctor didn’t say anything to me about not having sex. I’m sure it’s fine.”
“Well, just to be sure, maybe we should hold off having more until we talk to the doctor tomorrow.”
“Ben, I’m fine really. You’re not going to be one of those overprotective fathers-to-be, are you? One that won’t let me lift a finger to do anything?” I set the bowl of cereal down and lie back with him.
“Uh … yeah. You are carrying precious cargo there.” He hugs me closely to him.
“Confession time,” I say to him, laying soft kisses on his chest.
“What, we’re having triplets not twins?” he jokes.
“No, I have a job.” I look up at him.
“A job? Doing what?” he asks, looking surprised.
“Waitressing.”
“Where?”
“Magnolia Diner. It’s downtown.”
“I know the place. I was there the other day. I didn’t see you there. Wait, hold on. Is that why everyone was acting so weird? Where you there?”
“Yes, I was hiding in the back. I wasn’t ready to face you yet.”
“Wow,” is all he says for a while. “I don’t think you should be waitressing anymore. You’re on your feet all day. It’s not good for you and the babies.”
“Rose makes me take extra breaks and I’m never allowed to carry anything heavy.”
“Rose? She’s the owner, right? So, she knows you’re pregnant?” he asks.
“Yes.”
“You told your coworkers before me?” he says and I can see the hurt in his eyes.
“They guessed.” I don’t dare tell him that the reason they know is because I fainted. He would make me quit, I know it.
“Who else have you told, besides Mrs. Winston?”
“Mrs. Winston?”
“Yeah, the day of her husband’s funeral, she whispered in my ear that I needed to take care of you, that you needed me. I wasn’t sure what she was talking about at the time.”
“She was actually the one who figured it out first and begged me to take a test, on Holly’s wedding day, no less.”
“Do all the Winstons know?”
“No, she promised me she wouldn’t tell.”
“What about Holly and Mike and Carl?”
“I just told them the other day, the night before I saw you at the hardware store. They knew something was up. I couldn’t continue lying to them.”
“Is that everyone?”
“No.” I look at him, knowing the truth is going to hurt, but we need to get this over with. The way he is looking at me, I know he already guessed who I’m going to say. “Tyler found out accidently.”
Ben gets up from the bed and starts pacing. He’s angry but is trying desperately not to show his anger to me as he paces back and forth. That makes it ten times worse. “I can’t believe you told him before me,” is all he finally says.
“It wasn’t like that. He found out by accident. I couldn’t lie to him. He’s still my friend. Ben, I’m sorry.”
“I suppose if the doctor’s office hadn’t called me, I would still be in the dark?” he says, stopping finally to look at me.
“No, I was going to tell you tonight, no matter what.”
“You’ve been here for weeks, Julie. How come you didn’t come to me before? If we hadn’t bumped into each other at the hardware store, would you even be speaking to me n
ow?”
“I tried to when I first got here. I came to see you. I was going to tell you that day.”
“When?” He looks at me strangely.
“It was a several weeks ago. You weren’t home and Renee answered the door. That’s how I found out you two were living together.”
“What did she say to you?”
“Ben, it doesn’t matter anymore.”
“What did she say to you, Julie? I want to know.”
“She told me to leave and that the two of you were trying to work things out because Dustin deserved both his mother and father together. She called me a home-wrecker and told me to go back to Alabama. That’s why Dustin referred to me as the Avon lady. He saw me there that day. That’s who Renee told him I was.”
“Damn her. Why would you believe her?”
“I figured you were still angry about Tyler and me. I don’t know. Ben, I’m so sorry. I really wanted you to be the first to know. I just didn’t think you wanted me anymore.” I start tearing up again. I hate that I hurt him once again.
He comes back over to the bed and climbs next to me, once again wrapping his arms around me and holding me close. “I never stopped wanting you. I never will.”
“Ben, I’m so sorry.” I cry in his arms once again.
“Don’t apologize. It’s both of our faults, but it stops now. Look at me, Julie.”
I look up into his serious eyes. He’s still not happy with me, but I know he won’t leave me.
“No more secrets. Today is our clean slate. From this day forward, we tell each other everything. Promise me.”
“I promise.”
“I love you,” he says, giving me a small hint of smile.
“I love you too,” I say before snuggling with him again and drifting off to sleep.
Chapter 15
Ben
I leave quietly in the afternoon, after Julie falls asleep. She needs her rest, and as much as I would love sleeping peacefully next to her, I need to take care of business. That business being Renee. Now that Julie and I are reunited, I can begin concentrating on our future and that future starts with me moving in with my love.