Ruin

by Rachel Van Dyken

  I shrugged. “Well, it’s in the description now. My new job description is making you laugh and chasing away the bad dreams.”

  “I wish that was true.”

  “Sleep.” I kissed her forehead. “And if you do any more crazy shit, can I be a part of it?”

  “Sure, why?” Her eyelids fluttered closed.

  Oh, you know, because I would murder anyone who touches you. “No reason, I just don’t like to think of you being all crazy without your partner in crime.”

  “‘Kay.”

  “Night.

  “Night,” she whispered.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Maybe I didn’t dream because for once in my life I was living it.

  Kiersten

  “Morning, sunshine,” a gravelly male voice said next to my ear.

  I jolted awake and almost knocked my forehead against his. It was a close call. Wes jerked back and laughed, putting his hands behind his head as he stared up at the ceiling. “So, no nightmares.”

  “No nightmares.” He seriously couldn’t possibly know how life-altering it was to go through a full night without waking myself up screaming. Maybe it wasn’t a side effect of the drugs. Maybe it was just me. Maybe I was defective.

  “Class?” He yawned again.

  I looked at the clock next to the bed. “In two hours. I should go.”

  “It takes you two hours to get ready? I had you more for a twenty-minute girl.”

  I slapped him across his hard stomach. “If you must know, I take thirty, but I want to get back before Lisa sends out a search party.”

  He was quiet for a moment and then asked, “Are you going to tell her where you were?”

  “Maybe.”

  “I’ll keep it a secret,” he said. “Friends have secrets, right?”

  “Right.” I pushed away from the mattress and stood. It was the best night’s sleep I’d had in two years. Part of me longed to return to the bed, to his warmth. Instead, I marched into the bathroom, changed back into my clothes from the day before, and grabbed my keys and phone.

  “Same time tonight?” He winked, and dang the man was sexy all stretched out on his bed. How the hell had I slept through that? With his body so close to mine? I must have been completely exhausted. Either that or I wasn’t attracted to guys or something.

  “Uh, I have homework.”

  “On day two of classes?” His eyebrows lifted and then his face fell. “Oh, I see, you’re going to do the whole avoiding thing. Well, let me shoot you straight. We didn’t have sex, so you’re not doing the walk of shame, things aren’t awkward, and if you avoid me like the plague I’ll just stalk you.”

  “That’s not creepy.”

  He shrugged.

  I managed an eye roll and a smile as I unlocked the door and snuck out.

  I made it all the way to the stairwell without anyone seeing me. Trying not to be loud, I padded down to my room and crossed the hall, just as Gabe came from the opposite direction. The grin on his face growing by the minute.

  “Naughty girl, were you out all night?”

  “Uh…” I looked away from him and tucked my hair behind my ears. “I fell asleep at the library.”

  He sighed. “I tried that excuse once. Apparently they close at three a.m. and have security dogs check under the tables every night.”

  “Damn.”

  “Whoa, and a curse.” He wrapped his arm around me and walked me down the hall to my room. “Someone walking on the wild side?”

  This time I rolled my eyes without any effort.

  He paused, releasing his hold on my arm, and then his nose was in my hair, on my neck, everywhere.

  Too much in shock to do anything, I froze.

  Gabe pulled back. A smug grin plastered all over his chiseled face. “Sex. I smell sex on you.”

  Guilt slapped me across the face. I tried to hide it, but Gabe saw it. He nodded once and then tapped his finger against his mouth. “My money’s on Michels.”

  And heat just exploded across my face.

  “In his room?”

  I started fidgeting with my keys so I could unlock the door. Gabe grabbed my hand and held it captive. “A word of warning.” His eyes lost all hint of teasing. “He’s probably not the type of guy to get involved with for your first—”

  Now Gabe was blushing right along with me.

  “My first?” I straightened tried my best to look ignorant.

  “Just your first.” He swore and put the key in the lock. “He’s rich. Women want him. Hell, my grandma wants him. Just — just be careful. Guys like that, they don’t do commitment. They do one night stands.”

  “Funny,” I said with a snort. “That’s exactly what Lisa said about you.”

  “Hey!” He twisted the key and pushed the door open for me to go through. “I don’t pretend to be innocent, okay? I screw girls, they say thank you, and I let them go on their merry way. Both parties satisfied, end of story. I’m up front about what I am and who I am…”

  “And he isn’t?”

  “He’s secretive.” Gabe swore. “And I know he didn’t rape that girl. I’m just saying, to be careful, that’s all.”

  “Careful?” Lisa’s sleepy voice came through the bedroom door, and then she appeared in short white shorts and a tank top. “Who has to be careful?”

  I shot Gabe a pleading look. He sighed guiltily. “I do. I totally got drunk and almost bagged your roommate last night.”

  Lisa screamed.

  Gabe smiled. “At least you’re awake now.”

  “Don’t scare me like that!” She swatted him on the arm. “She’s too pure for your blood.”

  “Don’t I know it,” he murmured and sent me a wink while I mouthed a thank you.

  “Breakfast.” I pressed my hand to my forehead and ran my fingers through the front part of my hair. “Why don’t I make everyone breakfast?”

  “Sure.” Lisa yawned and stretched. “I’m gonna go shower real quick.”

  After she left, Gabe tilted his head in my direction. “So is this a breakfast or a guiltfest?”

  “Hilarious.”

  He grinned and lifted his hands into the air. He looked like a buffer version of Adam Levine with his ripped white shirt, tattoos and skinny jeans.

  “What?” his eyes narrowed.

  “Nothing.” I felt my cheeks blush. Well, I was officially a hussy. “You just look nice.”

  “Nice?” he repeated.

  I nodded.

  “Nice?” He leaned against the counter and crossed his arms. “Hmm, never been called nice before. You sure Michels didn’t addle your brain after your crazy night of—”

  “—talking and sleeping,” I interrupted.

  Gabe snorted. “Really? That’s all that went down? Hmm, didn’t know he was gay.”

  “He’s not.” I smirked, and then realized I was caught.

  “Oh?” Gabe nudged me with his elbow. “And how do we know that?”

  “Er, because, he has a reputation.”

  The room was silent for a bit while I mixed some of the pancake batter together and then turned on the stove.

  “Good kisser?” Gabe asked.

  The skillet fell out of my hands, clattering against the stove. Gabe’s chuckle made me want to stab him with a fork.

  He held up his hands in mock innocence. “Just a question.”

  “Yes.” I licked my lips. “He is. But it was more like a dare to myself. He didn’t start it. I did.”

  “Nice.” Gabe took the batter from my hands and continued mixing while I went to the fridge and pulled out some OJ. “You telling me that underneath that sweater and frigid interior is a sex kitten just pawing her way out?”

  I chose not to answer, instead busying myself with pouring juice into the three glasses and making sure the pan was sprayed for the pancakes.

  “Want to make funny shapes and freak Lisa out?” Gabe asked. Clearly we were done
talking about me. I couldn’t be more thankful.

  “She’s scared of pancakes?”

  “Mickey Mouse ones.” His eyes twinkled with humor. “Tragic experience at Disneyland when she was four.”

  “Wait.” I laughed. “She’s scared of Mickey?”

  “He sneezed in her face. Her princess hat fell off. She cried. It was a whole…” he waved in the air, “…episode.”

  “Sure.” I grabbed the spoon. “I used to make these all the time for—” My voice trailed off.

  “For?” he said.

  “For my family.”

  “Cool.” He dropped it and went to get plates while I dropped the batter onto the hot skillet.

  Lisa finished showering just as we made the last pancake. Gabe chuckled and rubbed his hands together. “It’s the little things in life that thrill me.”

  “Good to know.” I put a pancake on Lisa’s plate and handed it to him.

  “Cousin?” Gabe called. “We made you something extra special.”

  “Mm.” She took a deep appreciative sniff. “It smells like pancakes, yeah?” She placed the dish on the table and pulled out her chair. Then her eyes fell on her plate. With a scream she stepped back and tripped over her chair, sailed to the ground, and landed with a thud.

  “Classic.” Gabe held out his fist. I bumped it.

  “Damn, mouse,” Lisa said from the floor.

  Gabe went to help her up. She swatted his hand away. “Lisa, don’t mope.”

  “I’m not moping.” She crossed her arms. “I’m just… on pancake strike.”

  He sighed and knelt down. “Want me to break up your pancake so it doesn’t look mousey anymore?”

  “I don’t care, do what you want,” she snapped.

  Gabe reached for her plate and destroyed the mouse shape then handed it back. “See? All better.”

  Lisa kissed his cheek and allowed him to help her up. “Thanks, Gabe.”

  “It was a mouse.” I was still processing the fact that she’d been that freaked out over a pancake.

  “Don’t even go there.” Lisa thrust her finger in my face. “You have night terrors and scare your roommate crapless. I hate Mickey. We all have our hang ups.” She had me there.

  “Night terrors?” Gabe tilted his head in my direction. “Don’t only little kids have night terrors?”

  “And me.” I plopped down onto my seat. “Apparently.” Though I hadn’t had one last night. I left that part out. It was a rarity.

  Once we finished eating I sent Uncle Jo a quick text.

  I kissed a guy and ate way too many pancakes this morning. How’s that for crazy?

  He replied back right away.

  That’s my girl.

  Chapter Fifteen

  Whoever invented trial drugs should be shot — or maybe just me. Yeah, forget him, shoot me.

  Weston

  “When did the nausea start?” David felt my forehead and grimaced. “A few hours ago? Days?”

  I pushed his hand away and cursed. “I think the better question would be, when haven’t I felt nauseous? Seriously, I’m all better now, see?” I gave him a wide smile and stood. I had to brace myself against the desk for a few brief moments before I felt like I was solid enough to walk in a straight line.

  David stood right along with me. “We have to record these things, Wes. You know that.”

  I groaned and made my way to the door. “I know that. It’s been the same for the past six months, and I hate to break it to you but I’m not getting better.”

  “That’s a bad attitude and you know it. The doctor said—”

  “Screw the doctors!” I hit my fist against the door as my voice wavered with frustration.

  I felt David’s heavy sigh. I was used to those. The last year had been filled with them. First my dad’s sigh at learning that the drugs were our last option, my coach’s sigh when I told him I might not be able to finish out the year, and finally the doctor’s sigh, when he said my chances were at fifty percent.

  “Look.” My lips felt so damn dry. A side effect from the meds, I licked them and sighed. “I’m sorry, it’s just been a rough day. Make the damn note. I feel nauseated, my vision is blurred a bit, and I puked this morning.”

  Silence, and then I heard scribbling. “Anything else?” David asked.

  “Yeah.” I grabbed my keys from the desk. “I’m going out, don’t wait up—”

  “But—”

  “Please,” I pleaded. “I need normal right now.”

  “Fine.” David swore under his breath. “Just keep your cell on and if you feel funny at all you come straight back to the dorm, alright?”

  “Yup.” I waltzed out.

  I really was a joke of an RA. I’d been in my room all but thirty minutes the second day of classes. I’d wanted the job though. Scratch that, I needed it. Just like I needed a normal minute. The dean about shit himself when my dad went into his office, guns blazing. I’d never been more proud.

  Most people probably assumed the worst, that I’d been demoted to an RA position to make up for the previous year.

  Truth? I begged for it.

  Coach had been pissed, but at least my dad understood. I told him I wanted to help the new kids, show them the ropes, but really it was about my brother. He’d died his freshman year of college, and I wasn’t about to leave this world allowing that to happen to someone else.

  Which is why I stopped on Kiersten’s floor.

  I wasn’t sure if she’d be back from class yet, but it was worth a shot. I knocked twice on her door and waited.

  After some arguing and shuffling, the door opened.

  It was Gabe, the cousin, maybe my competition. I wasn’t sure. He gawked at me for a minute and then a grin spread across his features. “Sleep well last night?”

  “Better than you.” I smiled.

  He nodded. “I believe it.”

  “Kiersten?”

  “Homework.”

  “On the second day?” I pushed past him and let myself in.

  Gabe raised his hands. “All I know is she said she had homework and she’s in her room. She only had two classes today, both morning ones.”

  “Good to know I’m not the only one stalking her,” I grumbled.

  At Gabe’s smug grin I clenched my hand into a fist and went to knock on her door. “Kiersten?”

  Sniffling. I heard sniffling, and then something dropped. To hell with that. I burst in.

  Wow, I really should have waited for her to open the door.

  She was naked.

  Well, not entirely naked, but it sure as hell looked like it. She was wearing yoga pants and a sports bra. And I was sporting a grin so wide I’m sure I looked possessed.

  “Hey!” Gabe called from the hallway. I slammed the door in his face and locked it.

  “Oh, I feel safe now,” Kiersten mumbled, rising from the yoga mat. “Seriously, you can’t just barge in on people.”

  “I’m so glad I did.” I moved to the bed, scooted back, and leaned against the wall. “Continue.”

  She burst out laughing. “No. Not with an audience. I was working out, you pervert.”

  “I thought I heard you yelling my name. My mistake.” I shrugged.

  “Wow, all the way from the sixth floor huh?”

  “What can I say? It’s a gift.”

  “Combine super hearing with stalking and you’re a regular psycho.”

  My grin grew.

  Kiersten jutted out her hip and put her hand on it. “I’m not working out in front of you.”

  “Then let’s do it together.”

  Her eyes widened in horror.

  That was a self-esteem booster if I’d ever seen one. “Not like that. I mean, let’s go running.”

  “You run?”

  I shook my head and spoke slowly. “I’m a quarterback. Of course I run.”

  She blushed and put her hands on her face. “No, I mean, you r
un other than at practice.”

  “You never played sports, did you?”

  She bared her teeth and shook her head no.

  “We don’t just work out in practice. I work out two hours a day on top of practice. Keeps me in shape. You know, gotta keep that eight pack alive somehow.”

  “Will I ever live that down?” She sat on the floor and sighed.

  “Lamb…” I teased. “Never.”

  “Fine… Let’s run.”

  “Cool—”

  “On one condition.”

  “Boo.” I gave her a thumbs down.

  “Hey!” She stood abruptly. “You haven’t even heard my condition!”

  “Okay, fine. You have five seconds.”

  “Patient, aren’t you?”

  “One…”

  “Fine!” Kiersten grabbed a piece of paper from the desk and thrust it in my face.

  I was just about to say two when the paper landed on my lap. With a sigh I picked it up and started to read.

  Ways to live, I read.

  My heart clenched in my chest. Did she know about me?

  1. Kiss a hot guy. 2. Go skinny dipping. 3. Finish one fruity drink with the little umbrella. 4. Read Pride and Prejudice all the way through. 5. Learn how to swim. I paused. “You don’t know how to swim?”

  Kiersten’s eyes flickered to the ground so I kept reading.

  6. Make two real friends. 7. Get off my antidepressants. So I’d been right about one thing. She was depressed, but why? What girl, as perfect as Kiersten, would be depressed?

  8. Go bungee jumping. 9. Eat cranberry sauce at Thanksgiving and try to eat a beet. 10. Fall in love. 11. Get heart broken. 12. Fall in love anyway. I could help her! Oh, not with all of them. I mean, she couldn’t fall in love with me. I wouldn’t let her. It wouldn’t be fair to either of us, and she was eighteen. I sighed and folded the paper back in half.

  “So?” She twisted that glorious red hair around her fingers. “What do you think?”

  “Let’s do it.”

  Her face lit up like a Christmas tree. Before I knew what was happening, she’d charged toward me and wrapped her arms around my neck. Um, if that was the response I was going to get for helping her with a silly list, I was going to freaking buy her her own island before I… The thought died in my head. Ironic.