Life, Love, and Second Chances

by Anderson, Amanda

  She washed her hands in the pan of water on the table outside the door and winced at the pain that burned her flesh. It was so severe that she shivered and pulled her hands from the water.

  “Is it hot?” Bradley asked as he stepped beside her to wash his hands. He scowled when he saw the pink tinge to the water. “What happened?”

  “Nothing.” Adele tried to turn from him, but he caught her shoulders and held firm.

  “Let me see your hands.” He looked at her as if he would not accept a refusal.

  “No.” She pulled them tighter against her chest and winced again.

  Bradley pulled her hands away from her body and fury crossed his face as he saw the abraded and broken skin on her palms and fingers. “What the hell have you been doing with your hands?”

  “What I do is none of your concern!” She snapped.

  “It is when it leaves you bleeding. You live on this ranch and that makes you my responsibility. Now you will explain yourself.” His rage was like a living thing and Adele could almost see it writhing under his skin. She trembled. She had never been mistreated and she didn’t know how to deal with a man’s anger. Bradley shook her hard. “Answer me damn you!”

  “Rope. You wouldn’t let Dan help me so I had to do it on my own. The gloves were too big and I couldn’t tie the knots.” She was crying softly and she knew her words were a jumble, but she could barely think.

  Bradley’s brow puckered and then it cleared. Adele saw remorse in his face. “Why didn’t you ask me or even Pa?”

  “I didn’t want to be a bother.” She sniffed. “I know you think I’m in the way here.”

  Bradley pulled her to his chest. “You think we would rather you injure yourself? That I would?”

  Adele hiccupped. “I’m sorry. I can’t seem to do anything right out here. Someone is always angry with me. I don’t know what to do.”

  Bradley patted her back and Adele allowed herself to enjoy the feel of his warm arms around her. She allowed him to comfort her with his soothing words and the feel of his hand on her back.

  “Come on in and let’s see to those hands. I have some cream that should take the sting out and help with healing too.” He smiled reassuringly. “Won’t you tell me what is going on with the rope?”

  Adele was seized with apprehension. She suddenly didn’t want to talk about it. She shook her head, but followed when Bradley led her into the kitchen. Mrs. Finnagan looked up when they entered and her round smiling face crumpled when she saw Adele’s hands.

  “Honey what in the world? Child, what happened to your hands?” Mrs. Finnagan shot Bradley a cold look. “Did you have something to do with this Mr. Brad?”

  He smiled. “No ma’am. I just found her on the porch like this. Maybe it was Pa.”

  Adele looked from one to the other not knowing what was going on, but feeling more and more foolish.

  “Bah! That Mr. Davidson wouldn’t allow this little thing to turn a hand to anything. He dotes on her something fierce! Oh, never mind, just sit down here now honey and let me take a look at those little hands.” She looked to Bradley. “You go on and fetch my salve. You should know where it is by now.”

  “Yes, ma’am.” Bradley turned to leave, but not before he sent another worried look at Adele’s hands.

  Adele sat on the chair Mrs. Finnagan pulled out for her. She liked the woman and had spent several hours in the kitchen enjoying her conversation. Mrs. Finnagan had been with the Davidsons for over thirty- five years, although she didn’t look old enough to have worked that long. Peter had hired her when his wife had been carrying Bradley. He had wanted to help lighten the household load. She had stayed on after Mrs. Davidson’s death, trying to bring Peter’s daughter into the world, to help with Bradley and then moved to Texas with them eighteen years ago, from Virginia. Her husband had died and she said she had no reason to stay in Virginia. The Davidsons had been the only people she was close to and she considered them family. She wouldn’t speak of the first few years in Texas and Adele thought there must have been some harsh memories made during those years, but she had mentioned that the house wasn’t even ten years old.

  Adele thought back to the comment Peter had made when she first arrived. How were her rooms built with his wife in mind when she had died several years before the move?

  Adele’s mind emptied when Mrs. Finnagan spread a cooling cream over her burning palm. Adele let out a little scream at the sting of cream and tried to stand. She felt warm hands grip her shoulders and press her firmly into her seat. Bradley’s hands were warm and large where they rested. She felt a little thrill as he caressed her back with his thumbs. She doubted he even realized he was doing it. It was a completely soothing gesture and she chastised herself for feeling a thrill from it.

  Mrs. Finnagan took advantage of Adele’s stupor and wrapped both of her hands in thick linen to protect the tender skin.

  “Now leave that on there and I will look at those again before you go up to bed. Don’t you worry none, that salve will heal you up in no time at all.”

  The woman stood and went back to her preparations for dinner. Adele didn’t know what to say. Bradley spoke up.

  “We were hoping for something warm to eat. It has gotten chilly out there and I am afraid Adele has caught a chill.”

  Adele felt a shiver trip down her spine at the sound of her name spoken in his deep voice. He still didn’t remove his hands and he continued to stroke her spine with his thumbs so he felt her reaction and gasped under his breath.

  “Oh good heavens! I did notice the weather had cooled. I sent Marty to fetch some wood for the fires. I think we might be needing one tonight…”

  Mrs. Finnagan rattled on as she flitted around the kitchen scooping out two bowls of steaming stew and slicing warm bread. She didn’t notice the young woman in the room who had gone rigid and pale, but Bradley noticed. He looked down at Adele and saw the abject fear on her face. He knelt in front of her and cradled her poor abused hands in his much larger ones. Adele felt the fine trimmers began to shake her body and was thankful when Bradley spoke in a gentle tone.

  “Adele, look at me now.”

  She did, but her eyes were wide with fear.

  “What is the matter Adele? Why are you so frightened?”

  Adele shook her head. She couldn’t tell him.

  “I need to know so I can fix it. You can trust me. I will fix it if I can.”

  She still shook her head and now she clamped her teeth on her lip as well.

  “Can you tell Pa? You know he would not want you to be afraid of anything. Pa will make sure you are taken care of.” He patted her hands and stood. “Will you talk to pa after we eat? I think he is in his study today.”

  Peter knew. He would understand. Maybe he would figure out a way to go without a fire. “I will talk with Peter after we eat.”

  Bradley looked like he had been slapped, but he didn’t comment. He only sat across from her at the scarred pine table in the kitchen and accepted the steamy stew from Mrs. Finnagan.

  Adele struggled with her spoon, but managed to eat a good bit of her stew before she excused herself and went to Peter’s study.

  11

  Adele shivered in her bed. It had been a week since Peter assured her that he would not allow a fire to be built in her rooms. The fire in the parlor kept her floor warm enough and she could handle knowing it was just under her if she didn’t think about it too much. She could sit in front of her fireplace and feel the heat as it radiated off the stones from Bradley’s fire on the other side. She knew she would need to get over her fear. It wasn’t even the end of September and the nights were growing cool. Texas didn’t get as cold as Atlanta, but winter would prove very uncomfortable if she refused a fire and people in the house would start to talk. She didn’t know why she felt she had to guard her fear from others, but it was becoming an obsession. Only Peter knew and understood the entirety of her fear. Dan knew enough that he was sympathetic, but only Peter knew the depths
of her fears and the effects they had on her.

  She and Peter had grown very close since her arrival and she found herself seeking him out just to feel safe. He always welcomed her with a warm smile and friendly conversation when he wasn’t too busy and when he was she still got the smile and the comfort of his nearness. She had grown to love him in her short time as his wife, even if her love wasn’t as a wife to her husband it was still precious to Adele. She hungered for the connection and Peter seemed delighted to provide it for her.

  Her eyes drifted off staring at the inky sky and the millions of stars dancing in the darkness.

  The dream assaulted her with a force that threatened to stop her heart.

  She ran to her window but found it much too high for her to reach. She searched for something to stand on and tugged a wooden stool over for her to stand on, but the minute she put her weight on it and reached for the window the stool splintered and she tumbled to the floor. Panic seized her and she screamed in terror. She clawed at her dress that had tangled around her feet and screamed again when the flames began to kindle on her hem. She scrambled to the window again and tried to claw her way to it, but it was utterly out of reach. She felt the smoke filling her lungs and she began to choke. Her body was shaking from fear…

  Adele opened her eyes, panic still whipping at her mind, only to find herself lying on the floor of her room. Bradley was kneeling beside her with his hands clasping her shoulders.

  “Fire. I can’t breathe. The fire…” Adele had to make him understand. She had to escape. She saw the look of confusion cross his face and then anger.

  “What game are you playing? Who told you about the fire?”

  Bradley’s grip became bruising, but Adele couldn’t feel it. Her panic was beginning to fade and her body began to quiver as it always did after a dream like this. Bradley shook her hard.

  “Why are you doing this to me?” He demanded in a tone that was more a shout than anything.

  Adele began coming to herself and realized there were tears streaking Bradley’s face. She wanted to say something, but Peter rushed into her room wearing a thick dressing gown.

  “Unhand her!” Peter got unsteadily to the ground and gathered Adele into his arms in a paternal, comforting embrace. “Adele, listen to me now. You are safe. Look around you.”

  She did as he said and felt some of her fear begin to melt away.

  “Tell me, my dear. It will help to get it out.” He said in a gentle voice.

  “T-t-the window.” Her eyes flew to the window beside her bed and she frowned seeing how low it was. “I couldn’t reach it. It was too high. The fire… Just like Mama and Papa… I was trapped.” Her breathing escalated again and she began to panic.

  Peter never took his eyes from hers. “Bradley will you open the window please? Adele needs some fresh air.” He then redirected himself and spoke to Adele again. “Not too high from the ground this time?”

  Adele shook her head.

  “Perhaps the rope ladder took care of that. Perhaps we should get you something to stand on? Do you think if you had a sturdy stool that it might alleviate this fear?”

  Adele was puzzled. “But the window isn’t really too high. That would be foolish.”

  “No. I think it might help. Deep in your mind you still fear being trapped. I want to make sure that fear leaves you. I will do anything to make you feel safe.” As he spoke he gently wiped away her tears and pushed her hair away from her face. “I want you to be as happy as I am.” He kissed her forehead and held her tighter for a moment before he stood and helped her to stand with him.

  The cool breeze from her window made her shiver, but the air smelled fresh and clean. She took deep breaths and tried to calm herself. She opened her eyes to find Bradley staring at her with a stony face. It was as if she had just arrived. He was back to disapproving of her. It made sad. They had come a long way. He tolerated her and maybe sometimes even enjoyed her company a little, but now he was a stranger. His eyes were turbulent and Adele had to look away. She found Peter studying them and she flushed.

  “I am sorry to have waken the house. I will be alright now. You can go back to your beds.” She hated that her voice sounded so small, but she couldn’t help it. The dreams always made her feel so helpless and even hopeless.

  Peter spoke into the silence that filled the darkened room. “Will you be able to sleep, my dear?”

  Adele’s eyes flew to Peter’s. she knew she wouldn’t and she didn’t want to lie to him, but she didn’t want to worry him either. “I will try to in a little while. I think I may sit by the window for a while. The air will help to clear my head.”

  “Very well. Do try to rest though.” He squeezed her hand and went back down to his room.

  Adele was surprised when a quilt was wrapped around her and she was turned from staring out the window. She looked up to find Bradley watching her in the darkness. He didn’t speak at all as he studied her for several long moments. When he did speak his voice came out gruff.

  “I want to know what the hell happened to you. Why are you so afraid?”

  Adele shook her head. She didn’t want him to know how weak she was. He already thought her useless. She couldn’t have him ridicule her for her fear.

  “Why? Why won’t you tell me? Pa knows, why not me?”

  “He’s my husband and I trust him.”

  At her words Bradley lowered his head. He acted like she had hurt him in some way.

  “You don’t trust me do you?” He looked up then and Adele found her eyes trapped in his gaze. “Why?”

  “You’re mean to me. You would laugh at me and I couldn’t stand it. You think I am weak and worthless…” Her voice wobbled and she stopped.

  Bradley pulled Adele into his warm and very naked chest. She hadn’t realized until that moment that he wore only his britches.

  “I do not think you are worthless and you have more strength than most women, you just show it in a different way. It took me some time to see that. I am sorry. I will try to treat you better. I would like for us to be friends, since we live in the same house. I am tired of seeing your face drop when you see me. I don’t dislike you. I just… My past haunts me and you seem to stir it up. There are times when it hurts to look at you, but that isn’t your fault.”

  Adele shivered.

  “You are cold. Please let me make a fire in here to warm you.”

  Adele pulled away, her eyes wide with fear. “No! I am fine. I don’t need a fire.”

  “Damn it, you can’t freeze. I will build one in the sitting room then.” She started to protest but he cut her off. “I will stay with you until the room is warm and then I will put out the fire. I won’t leave you alone with it, but I can’t leave you here cold.”

  Adele just stood there. She couldn’t answer him without explaining her fear. She thought it might help for him to stay, but she didn’t want to depend on him. He must have taken her silence for approval because he dashed from her room and when he came back he was wearing a shirt and carrying a small bundle of wood.

  Adele sat in the chair farthest from the fire and tried to pretend it wasn’t burning. She felt Bradley’s eyes on her and she pulled the quilt tighter around her body. She knew he was curious, but she couldn’t trust him.

  “Will you talk to me at least so I don’t fall asleep? I doubt Mrs. McCrery would approve of me sleeping in your sitting room.”

  Adele closed her eyes and tried to give him the smile he expected, but it fell short. “What shall we talk about? Not the dream.” She hurried to amend.

  “Ok. Not the dream. Tell me about your home. Where did you grow up?”

  “Well, I lived in Atlanta, Georgia. My father was a craftsman. He made all kinds of things out of wood. He could build a house or carve a fine piece of furniture. His family had been wealthy before the war, but after he was poor like everyone else. He and my mother struggled to build their tiny house and he built enough things for people that we were able to eat. My mother was
a beautiful woman who loved to sing while she baked. Apple torts were her favorite and she taught me how to make them. I remember sitting at the table and listening to her sing and thinking the angels must have envied her.”

  Adele wiped away the tears that trickled down her cheek and hoped Bradley had missed the gesture in the darkness. She took a deep breath before she continued. “We lived in a small white house with a whitewashed fence.” She shrugged.

  “Adele is a lovely name. I don’t think I’ve heard it before. Where did your mother come by it?”

  “When she was growing up she had a friend named Adel. She was from a fine French family who had moved here. When the war broke out, the girl and her family moves back to France. My mother missed her so much that when I was born she gave me the name.” She smiled wistfully. “What about you?”

  Bradley cleared his throat. Adele thought she saw emotions swirling in his eyes but she wasn’t sure if it was real or a play of the shadows dancing in the room from the fire.

  “I was born in Virginia. We had a grand house there, but after Ma and my little sister died and Pa went off to war, he couldn’t stand living in the house with all those memories anymore. He bought this place and moved us out here about six years later. We’ve been here ever since.”

  “Why did you never marry?” Adele asked and then blushed. “I am so sorry. It is not my business. I didn’t mean to pry.” She met his eyes and she saw the misery there and felt worse.

  “Who said I didn’t?” His words were simple, but they ripped at something deep inside Adele. “I think that discussion should be put on a shelf with the one about your dreams.”

  He wouldn’t meet Adele’s eyes and it hurt. “Oh. You don’t trust me either.” Her voice was quiet, but it rang in the stillness of the night as if she had shouted those words. The sorrow of their thoughts made the air seem heavy and Adele wanted to escape it. She stood and turned to her bedroom door.

  “I’m sorry, I just can’t.” His words sounded raspy and filled with hurt.