Life, Love, and Second Chances

by Anderson, Amanda

  “Shhh, there’s nothing to worry about. There’s no fire Adele.” He crooned softly.

  She slapped him with all her might. “Listen to me!”

  Bradley shook Adele with a teeth shattering shake. “Wake up! Damn, you or I will slap you back!”

  Adele shook her head and looked around the room. The fear still clung to her mind as well as the desire that had been kindled in her body. Before she thought of herself she pulled Bradley to her and kissed him with all the desire she had burning inside of her. At first he didn’t respond at all, but in a flash he was pulling her to him in a bruising grip. His mouth devoured hers and she moaned as she tasted his tongue.

  No one had ever kissed her like that.

  Bradley’s hands roamed her back and his rain soaked shirt wet her dress. The coolness on her breasts brought her to herself. She pushed at his chest and tried to stop the kiss, but he was lost in her now. She shoved with all her strength and finally broke her mouth from his.

  “Stop! Bradley, you have to stop! This is wrong. I’m sorry. I was dreaming and… Just stop.” She said as she gave his chest another shove.

  He broke away from her and looked down at her. “Damn you. I don’t want you! I should have left you in here, but you sounded so wretched I felt sorry for you. How dare you do this to me! You kissed me and now you are pushing me away as if I did something wrong? Fine.” He stood and stalked to the door.

  Adele remembered her evening of worry and flew to her feet. “Where is Peter? Is everything alright? Did you get the cattle?”

  “Pa is fine. We lost a few head, but not enough to worry over.” His eyes narrowed and then they roamed over her body. “Pa is in his room if you want to see for yourself or I will be in mine if you want to finish what you started.”

  Adele’s cheeks flushed and she backed away shaking her head. “No. That was wrong. I will go to Peter and make sure he is alright.”

  “Fine by me.” Bradley gave her a cold look and stalked from the room.

  Adel didn’t allow herself to wonder over his reaction. He was the moodiest man she had ever met and she could spend hours trying to puzzle him out, but it was a waste of time and she wouldn’t fool herself into thinking she would be any closer to figuring him out.

  She walked to Peter’s room and knocked on his door. He called his permission to enter and Adele slowly opened the door to find him propped in bed. She flushed at the intimacy of the situation, but walked inside. There was a chair beside his bed and she pulled it closer and sat.

  “Is something the matter Adele?” Peter asked with a puckered brow.

  “No. I was just worried and wanted to see that you were alright.”

  “I am.” She saw his eyes drop to her breasts and she was shocked. Peter had never done anything of the sort before. His words eliminated her fears however.

  “Adele, your dress is wet. How in the world did you manage that?”

  The color drained from her face so fast she felt faint. She had promised never to lie to Peter and she didn’t want to break her vow, but how could she tell him such a thing? She didn’t think there was a way to word it delicately, so she just blurted it out.

  “I kissed him. I kissed Bradley. Peter I am so sorry!” She covered her face and sobbed into her hands.

  “Calm down now and tell me what happened. You were sleeping when we came in. I wanted to let you sleep, but Bradley insisted that you would not sleep well. I came in here to change clothes and he said he wouldn’t leave you to sleep in the parlor where any of the men could happen in and see you. Honestly, I was too exhausted to put up much of a fuss when he said he would wake you. Just calm down and tell me what happened.”

  “I was having a dream.” She met his eyes. “One where I was in a fire…

  She described what had happened as best she could. She did leave out a little of what the man in her dreams had done to her, but she thought Peter knew if the raised brows and the mischief twinkling in his light blue eyes told her anything. She told him that she had been disoriented and that she had pulled Bradley to her.

  “I am so sorry Peter. I didn’t mean to. I would never do something like that if I were aware of myself.”

  Peter took a deep breath. “Adele, I wouldn’t have blamed you if you had done much more than kiss him. You are a desirable young woman and you are married to a man who cannot fulfill the desires of youth. I am not angry with you. I am sorry that the dreams still plague you and I wish I could take them from you, but don’t feel guilty for being young. Never feel guilty for feeling desire. It is a natural part of life.”

  Tears still streamed down her face, but Peter’s reassuring smile helped her calm down.

  “Go to bed Adele. You are exhausted. You will feel better in the morning.”

  15

  Things were not better in the morning. Peter had taken a chill from being in the rain and he was running a fever. Adele sent for the doctor and he came as soon as he could. Peter made her leave the room while the doctor spoke with him and she found herself pacing the hall in front of the door.

  The doctor came out looking grim, but tried to mask it when he saw Adele.

  “How is he?” She rushed to the doctor and looked at him with imploring eyes.

  “He will recover from this little fever. It is just the weather getting to him. Give him a few days. Keep him warm and make sure he eats and drinks.” The doctor smiled down at her. He was the same man she had seen the morning after her arrival. “You are good for him Ms. Adele. I was not so sure at first, but I can see the strength he had gained since you came to him. Your care will be strength to him.”

  Adele nodded. “He is all I have in the world. I love him with all I am. Thank you for coming out here. I wouldn’t survive losing him, not now when I’ve just found him. I need years with him.”

  The doctor suddenly couldn’t meet her eyes. “I will pray that you get them.” He cleared his throat. “I must be going. Take care of him and if he isn’t well in a few days send for me.”

  “I will and thank you again.”

  Adele stood and watched the doctor move into the parlor where she knew Bradley waited for him. She opened Peter’s door and walked to the chair by the bed.

  Peter was pale and looked thinner than he had the night before. He smiled at her, but it was weak.

  “The doctor said you would be alright.” She took his hand where it lay on the bed. I think I will sit here a while. Would you like for me to read to you?”

  “That would be lovely, my dear Adele. Your voice is more beautiful than the song birds in the trees.”

  “You must be feeling better, you are already lying to me.” She quipped as she reached for one of the many books he kept beside his bed.

  He laughed, but the sound was raspy. “You are a sassy little thing when given the opportunity. I do so love you.”

  She beamed. “And I love you.”

  She read for an hour and Peter fell into a restless sleep. She couldn’t stand to leave him like that so she stayed, constantly bathing his brow and trying to comfort him by singing quietly.

  Mrs. Finnagan came and delivered a tray and Adele fed Peter and then ate her own meal. Bradley came to see his father and Adele took the opportunity to run to the outhouse. She sat on the floor in the hall until Bradley left and then she went back to sit with Peter. Bradley did not acknowledge her in any way and she was thankful. She couldn’t deal with him right now. She had to make sure Peter got well.

  The next morning Adele changed the beds and washed the clothes while Peter slept. When he was awake she sat with him. When he slept again she dusted and scrubbed the floors. Then she went back to him.

  This became her routine. She would work while Peter slept and then she would sit and talk with him. At night she sat in the chair beside his bed and worried over him.

  After three days he began to recover, but Adele still worried over him. She felt a need to hold on to him as if he might float away on the breeze if she were not there to stop
him. She soon grew tired and her eyes bore dark circles under them. She could barely eat and she slept only fitfully in the chair beside Peter. He had commented on her exhaustion, but Adele had laughed off his worry. She had little choice. He needed her and they all needed clean things to wear. The chores had to be done regardless, so she pressed on.

  It was well over a week before Peter was able to resume his regular schedule. Adele was tired beyond anything she had ever felt. She sat alone in the kitchen and drank a cup of milk. Everyone was asleep, but she couldn’t close her eyes. The dreams were worse now. They were filled with visions of Peter and Bradley and she was forced to choose only one to save. She had waked to find Bradley staring down at her the last time she slept and she was afraid she had called his name. He hadn’t spoken to her; he’d just turned and left the room as soon as she had opened her eyes.

  Now she feared sleep as if it was the enemy of all things good in her life. She just sat there at the scarred pine table and stared into the darkness until it began to lighten. Then she stood and started the preparations for breakfast. She couldn’t cook it, she knew, but anything she could do to help was something.

  By the time Mrs. Finnagan entered the kitchen through the back door everything was ready for her. Adele had even placed the wood inside the oven and got it ready to be lit. Mrs. Finagan eyed her carefully before she spoke.

  “Did you sleep at all?”

  The woman had to be a mind reader. Adele couldn’t hide a thing from her. “No.”

  The older woman gentled her voice. “You have to take care of yourself, child. You need to sleep.”

  “I can’t. It’s too cold in that room and… Oh I don’t know, I just can’t sleep.”

  “I could stay with you at night for a while if you think that would help.” She offered and Adele was grateful, but she knew it wouldn’t help.

  “No. I will be alright. I just need to stay busy.” Adele smiled a tired smile. “I think I will go up and get cleaned up and changed. I will be back down after he leaves.”

  Mrs. Finnagan knew she meant Bradley. Adele had been doing this for the last several days now. “You could try to rest a little Adele. It is light out and maybe that would help.”

  Adele thought she might take a little rest. Mrs. Finnagan was right, the light of day might force the dreams away. She turned and made her way up the stairs, but she paused halfway up. She heard heavy footfalls coming her way. She couldn’t meet Bradley on the stairs. She turned to run back down the stairs thinking she could take the front stairs and escape, but a wave of dizziness hit her and she slipped. She reached for the wall to steady herself, but her world went black and she tumbled to the bottom. She heard Mrs. Finnagan scream and a deep, masculine curse and then nothing.

  16

  Adele fought. She was trapped in an endless night and struggled to free herself, but the more she fought the heavier the darkness pressed down on her. At times she thought she heard voices, but she was never sure. At times she heard the crackle of a fire and smelled the sharp scent of wood smoke. She tried to look around her, but everything was so dark. Sometimes she would feel the cool flow of water on her tongue, but it was never enough. It was torture having only a trickle when her thirst was so maddening. She must be in Hell.

  She tried to scream, but no sound escaped her mouth. Her body ached and her head hurt as if something heavy pressed on it. She felt trapped by the darkness and she felt she would go mad if she didn’t escape it soon.

  Adele felt the brush of something cool against her face and saw light behind her eyes, but she couldn’t force her heavy lids to open. She groaned, but this time she heard the sound. Then she heard a voice. It was Peter.

  “Peter?” She croaked through cracked lips.

  “Thank God. Adele, it is me. Are you awake, my dear?”

  “No.”

  “Oh well then never mind. I was going to tell you something very exciting, but if you insist on sleeping all day I won’t tell you.”

  Adele forced her heavy lids to lift a little and she looked at her husband. He looked old all of the sudden and it made her sad. He was worried and tired and it was her fault. “I’m sorry, Peter.”

  “None sense. What do you have to be sorry for?” He smiled a relieved smile.

  “I slipped. I should have been more careful.”

  “You fainted from exhaustion Adele. You are trying to do too much. This house is too big for you to take care of on your own. Add to that all the time you sat with me and I can clearly see why your body insisted on rest.” He sighed and closed his eyes. “What would I do if I lost you? You have become a vital part of my life Adele, you must take better care of yourself.”

  “I will try.”

  Mrs. Finnagan bustled in and set a bowl of steaming broth beside the bed. She beamed when she saw Adele’s eyes were open.

  “It is about time you woke up. When I told you to rest I did not mean for you to sleep for three days!”

  “What? I slept for three days? Why didn’t anyone wake me?” Adele was appalled and embarrassed that she would lay in bed so long.

  “Dear child, we tried. You hit your head when you tumbled down the stairs. We were worried half out of our minds. It is good to see those lovely eyes open.” Mrs. Finnagan sat on the edge of the bed and helped Adele to sit up a little so she could spoon the soup into her.

  “I think I will leave you now. I need to get cleaned up and then I will be in my study. I have neglected my work for the last few days.” He leaned down and kissed Adele’s forehead. “Eat up and rest. I will see you later.”

  “Ok.” Adele was still mortified by what had happened to her. She ate obediently and when Mrs. Finnagan left her to rest she did lie down, but she tried to keep her eyes from closing, she couldn’t.

  The next time her eyes opened she was greeted by the flickering dance of flames as they danced in the fireplace in her sitting room. Her bedroom door was open so those dark fingerlike shadows crept in her room and she felt as if they were reaching for her.

  She screamed and tried to scramble from her bed, but her limbs were too weak from her three day slumber. She fell to the floor and crawled to the window, she couldn’t reach it to open it. Fear slithered down her spine and coiled around her gut. She began to gasp for breath as she clawed at the window.

  Warm hands pulled her around and pressed her hard against a solid chest. Adele fought to free herself, but she was held firm.

  “The fire…” She gasped.

  “The fire is in the fireplace Adele. You needed to be warm. You are safe. I won’t ever leave you alone again if it will help. Let me in. Let me help you.” Bradley said as he caressed her back and kissed her hair.

  She shook her head. “No. You hate me. I can’t tell you.”

  “How can you think that? How can you truly believe that?”

  “You hurt me every time you look at me.” She was sobbing now and beating his chest with her fists. “Why? What have I done to make you hate me so?”

  “Stop it! Adele, stop it. I don’t hate you.” His lips found hers and he devoured her as if he were a starving man and she was the last morsel of food left in the state. “Are you such an innocent that you don’t know how I feel?”

  Her breath was coming fast and she was bewildered by his actions. “I guess so. How do you feel?”

  Before he could answer Peter rushed into the room taking in the scene that played out before him. He bowed his head and let out a breath. “Well, I can see that I am not needed here tonight. I will see you both in the morning.”

  Peter turned to leave and Adele felt panic well inside her.

  “Peter, no, please. This isn’t what it seems.” She pleaded.

  “I know. I heard you scream. I told you before Adele, I would not blame you for what your body feels naturally.”

  “No, nothing. There is nothing between Bradley and me. I told you that.”

  “You did, but I think you are too naive to see the truth. You are very young Adele, and the
re are parts of life that are still mysterious to you. I understand that.” He left her standing there supported by Bradley’s strong arms.

  Adele felt a terrible pain rip through her. She had seen the sadness on Peter’s face. He may have spoken words that would alleviate her blame, but his eyes showed his real feelings and he was hurt.

  “You bastard.” She spat at Bradley. “How could you do that to your own father? How could you hurt him in such a way?” She shoved away from him. The room spun for a moment, but she locked her knees and slapped Bradley’s hand away when he reached for her again. “Leave me alone!”

  “You don’t mean that. I will stay with you. I will keep you safe. Just say its ok and I’ll hold you all night. Pa understands.”

  “No. I want you to get out of here. I don’t want you. I am married to your father and I will not betray him.” She choked on the lump that had formed in her throat the moment Peter had entered the room. “I love him too much to betray him.”

  Bradley closed his eyes. “I will be next door if you change your mind Adele. I will welcome you with open arms if you come to me.”

  “I won’t. I just can’t.”

  Adele watched Bradley leave her room and she heard the door close quietly behind him, but the fire still crackled in the grate. She ran to the pitcher sitting on the stand near her bed and fueled by fear she ran to the sitting room and doused the flames. They sputtered and smoked, but the flames were gone and the room was suddenly plunged into total darkness. Only then did she let herself think of what had happened and her knees turned to water.

  17

  Bright light streamed into the room when Adele woke. She heard raised voices and tried to sit up, but found her body too weak to allow it. She lay on the cold floor and listened.

  “If you think I am going to leave her lying on that floor then you are sadly mistaken! I tried to wake her, but she won’t come around. Now I know something went on up here last night and I thought it would be best to have Dan help me with her.”