Letting go for me.
He twitched when my nails slid over his ass. He groaned when I swirled my tongue over his head. He squeezed his fingers when I sucked on him.
And he shouted my name as he came hard in my throat.
I took all of him. When he stopped pulsing between my lips, I moved away and swallowed, loving the salty taste of him on my tongue. He tugged me up by my shoulders, drawing me into his arms and burying his face in my neck.
“You didn’t have to do that,” he whispered.
I shrugged. “I wanted to. Did you not like it?” I asked, knowing he loved it.
“Hell no. It was amazing. I was supposed to ravish you. You’ve got me feeling like I’m not gonna survive the night.”
I laughed. “Well, you are a few years older than me. Maybe you just can’t keep up.”
“Ouch.” He wobbled backward until he hit the edge of the bed and fell onto it. “I’m only 32.”
I shrugged. “Four years can be a big difference. If you’re worn out from one blow job then maybe I should go.”
I turned toward the door and bent to pick up my bra, making sure I gave him a good view of my ass. As expected, he was behind me, pressed against me, in seconds.
“You’re not going anywhere. Just you wait. You’ll never date a younger guy again. Us ‘old guys’ know how to make a woman beg for more. How to make you whimper. How to make you come so hard you forget your name. And then how to fuck you just right so you don’t ever want to leave our beds. I’m not interested in just getting you into bed, Tara. I want you to be too tired to get out of bed. That’s what you get with an ‘old guy.’”
His words did the trick. My heart pulsed between my thighs. My breasts were heavy with need. That deep raspy voice would make me come if he kept talking. I couldn’t wait to find out what he was going to do with the rest of himself.
He ran a finger down my spine, trailing over my ass. He dipped between my legs, from behind, and entered me with just the tip of his finger.
“You’re so wet, Tara. Either you enjoyed my blow job as much as I did, or you know I’m a man of my word.”
“Both,” I confessed.
He withdrew his finger and trailed it up my hip and down my front and back between my legs. He pressed himself against my back. He was still hard, something that surprised me as much as it turned me on.
“I thought that might be the case,” he rasped in my ear. “Do you want to come like this, Tara? With just my finger on you. Standing like you just had me. I want to feel your whole body tremble against mine, like it’s doing now. I want to feel you buck against my hand and know that all I have to do is draw my finger over you and you’ll let go for me. Do you want that, Tara?”
“Yes,” I moaned, feeling wetness seep from me and run down my legs.
Noah circled me with his finger. He brushed my hair off my neck with his free hand, then kissed my bare shoulder. “I wish I had a mirror in here. I want to watch you come apart. I want to see my finger between your legs. But like you told me, we have all night.”
I reached for him, needing to have something to ground me. His arm clamped around my waist, supporting me as much as my legs were. I spread my legs wider, unconsciously, needing to feel his movements. Needing to feel him.
“Noah,” I whimpered. “Please.”
He was teasing me. So close to where I needed him, but not going there. Knowing he was torturing me and that he was going to make me beg. I wasn’t above it. I had no problem.
Just like I had no problem pushing his hand out of the way and doing it myself.
“Are you close, Tara? Do you need to come? Should I bring in a young stud to finish you off?”
“I can do it,” I growled, an empty threat if I ever heard one. I could, and would, but I wanted his hands on me. I wanted him to be the one who gave me the orgasm that was building quickly. The one that felt like it was going to tear me in two.
Noah stopped. He withdrew his finger, slowly. And eased the arm around my waist.
“What are you doing?” I whined.
“You said you were going to do it,” he said in a challenging tone. “If you don’t want me to-”
“No!” I yelled grabbing his arm before it fell from me. “Please, Noah.”
“Please what?”
“Please make me come, Noah.”
His finger was back before I took my next breath. Faster. Harder. Closer.
“Oh, yes,” I moaned. My hips bucked against his hand and all the desire and need inside me built right under his finger. His hand held me up, supporting the majority of my weight as I lost myself in his touch.
“Come for me, Tara. You’re trembling. I can feel your whole body tightening, waiting. Don’t hold it back. Let me see it. Hear it. Feel it. Come, Tara. Come now.”
He did something in that moment. Pinch me, maybe. I didn’t care. Whatever he did, he sent me over the edge. I screamed his name, my weight dropping and carrying us both to the floor. Noah kept his arm around me, cradling me to his chest as I moaned and screamed and praised him.
When my body stopped convulsing, Noah carried me to his bed. I heard him open a drawer and rip the foil cover. When he crawled up between my legs, I was more than ready for him.
“I have to have you, Tara. Are you up to it?”
“Hell yeah,” I said softly, my throat raw from yelling his name.
I spread my legs and welcomed him in. He thrust into me in one smooth motion, making us both groan. He stilled deep inside me, watching me. I reached up and cupped his jaw. He turned his head and kissed my palm, a gesture so simple and so sweet that I felt my heart squeeze. Noah was a good man. The best I’d ever known. I really would be a fool to let him go.
He started to move, his eyes locked on mine. Each stroke of his body inside mine sent desire dancing through me. He started out with slow, deep strokes. Deep enough to hit that elusive spot inside me that Patrick never seemed to be able to find. Noah, though, Noah was plenty big enough to reach deep into me. Past my walls. Past my fears. Into a part of me that made my head spin and my heart want things I had no business wanting.
“You feel so good,” he groaned, his strokes coming faster.
“So do you,” I said, running my hands down his back. “I think I might come again.”
The grin that split his face was one of pure male pride. This was a man who knew his way around a woman’s body. Who knew what a woman liked and needed. He was a man who knew how hard it was for women, most women, to orgasm during sex.
And a man who knew he was one of the few, for me the only, to achieve that momentous task.
He hitched one of my legs over his shoulder and slipped in deeper.
“Oh, God.”
“Just like that, Tara. Don’t hold back on me.”
He glanced down, watching where our bodies met. I wanted to see what he saw. I wanted to watch him disappear into me. My round belly was too big for me to get that view, but I needed to know.
“Tell me, Noah.”
He looked up at me, a question in his eyes. “Tell you what?”
“Tell me what it looks like. Tell me what you see.”
He looked back down. “It’s beautiful, Tara. Watching my cock disappear into you. To see your body welcoming me in. You’re wet, your skin glistening. Every time I thrust into you, like this.” He thrust hard. “I can see your clit. Your body opens to me. I want to put my mouth right there. To suck it between my lips. To touch you. To have your legs spread wide and bury myself between them.”
“Touch me, Noah. Please.”
“Anything for you.”
His thumb brushed over me, his eyes still glued there. My body tightened, squeezing around him. He rubbed his thumb harder against me. I was ready, right there waiting for him. With every swipe, I leapt closer.
And so did he.
His breathing became erratic. His thrusts deeper and harder. His thumb moved faster, a desperate feeling coming over both of us. Wanting it to end an
d wanting it to last forever at the same time.
“Noah,” I whimpered.
His eyes snapped up to mine. His eyebrows were pulled together in concentration. He chest heaving with his breath. His skin glistened with sweat, the muscles beneath pulsing.
He was beautiful.
He leaned down and captured my lips. When our bodies met, I went soaring. I loved the feel of his chest hair against my sensitive nipples, his finger still on me, his cock deep inside.
He broke our kiss seconds later and thrust hard twice before he grunted and came hard. I could feel the burst, even with the condom between us, and knew he was definitely as lost as I was.
With any luck, we could find each other.
Chapter 10
By the time I left Noah’s house the next day, I was deliciously sore and seriously thinking about a future in Winterville.
It was insane though. I barely knew him. I’d known him a week. We were having fun. Not getting involved. But there was something about Noah that made me want to stick around.
I would not stay for a guy though. It made absolutely no sense to change my entire life plan because Noah was settled in Winterville. There had to be something more to hold me in a town I’d gone running from.
I didn’t grow up in Winterville, but the small town we lived in when I was growing up was just like Winterville. It was close, but far enough that I hadn’t gone to high school here. My parents decided to move into town when I graduated since Coming Up Daisies was already in Winterville. They downsized, and I went to college.
In Winterville.
Olivia and I had planned to go to University of Winterville together. When we had our falling out, it was too late to change my mind and go somewhere else. I ended up loving it there, but I knew the college and the town were two very different things and left as soon as I graduated.
As I walked down Winter Way toward Clara’s Cafe, where I was meeting Abby for lunch, I couldn’t help but wonder what would have happened if I hadn’t ever left.
The only thing I’d ever wanted to do was act. In high school, I tried out for every single play we had. It took until my senior year before I got a leading role, but I loved it. Even being a part of the chorus was the best thing in the world for me. I felt like I knew who I was when I was on stage.
I studied theater in college because there wasn’t a track for people who wanted to go into movies. What I learned in college was invaluable when I went to California. I could read a script and memorize enough lines to do an audition in thirty minutes. I knew how to let my emotion show on my face. I knew how to get through a scene in one take.
I still wished there had been people who had helped me with the other parts of it. The challenge of giving all your attention to a camera lens. The lights. The camera adding ten pounds. The competition.
I always knew I wanted to act, but theater people are definitely different from Hollywood people. I learned quickly to keep my true aspiration from my professors and classmates.
A For Lease sign caught my attention just before I reached Clara’s Cafe. I couldn’t explain why, but I stopped and peeked through the windows. It looked like an old photography studio. Large open space. Massive lights hanging from the ceiling in certain areas of the room. What appeared to be backdrops were piled into the far corner.
I wanted to go inside, but I had no reason to. Before I could think any more about it, my phone rang. I dug it out and saw Abby’s face.
“Hey.”
“Hey! Are you almost here?”
I stepped away from the window. “Yeah. I’m just outside. I’ll be in in a minute.”
“Great! I ordered you a water.”
“Thanks,” I said absently, trying to shake off the feeling that the studio was someplace I needed to be.
A few seconds later, I stepped into Clara’s Cafe. The warmth of the place surrounded me and made me happy. Maybe that was why the studio attracted me. It was so close to Clara’s that it drew me in.
I worked my way through the tables and hugged Abby before I sat across from her.
“I was starting to get worried about you,” she teased.
“Sorry. I’ve been running late all day.”
“That’s not like you.”
I nodded and sipped my water. “I know. I told myself I was going to get up at eight this morning, but I slept until nine. And then… well, I was at Noah’s.”
“What? Way to bury the lead! I didn’t know you were going to see him again. You said you didn’t even know his last name.”
I laughed. “Yeah, I didn’t. He came to Daisies the other day to order flowers for his mom’s birthday. Coincidence, I guess, but it worked out. He asked me out.”
“And you slept with him?”
I shrugged. “I already had so it wasn’t a big leap to do it again. I really like him, Abby.”
Abby eyed me closely. “Like him, like you’re thinking about sleeping with him again or like him you want to have a future with him.”
“I’m not entirely ready for the future part, but I’ve definitely never felt the way I do when I’m with him.”
“That could be just hormones. Those fuckers are powerful. They’ll make you say and do things your brain would veto otherwise.”
I narrowed my eyes at her and focused on my friend. Her cheeks were pink but her eyes were a little red. She was fidgeting with her napkin. And chewing on her lip. “Why do I get the feeling we’re no longer talking about me and Noah?”
Abby sighed and dropped the napkin. She looked up at me and I saw the tears filling her eyes. “I agreed to move in with Graham.”
She squeezed her eyes shut and one tear rolled slowly down her cheek.
“If you don’t want to move in with him, tell him. Why are you getting upset about it?”
Abby took a deep breath and met my eyes. “When he first asked, it was… you know?”
“During sex?” I supplied.
“Yes. So I didn’t take him seriously. It was in the moment, you know. Well, he said something about it a few days later. When we talked last week I didn’t know what to do. We talked about it a little and he said he wants to see me as much as possible and that the nights I’m home he can’t sleep.”
“So what’s the problem?” I asked, cutting to the chase.
“We were,” she dropped her voice and leaned in, “having sex this weekend. He said something about how it would be like that all the time if I moved in with him. I agreed.”
“And now you’re second guessing it?”
The waitress came over and took our order, interrupting our conversation. When she left, Abby sighed heavily.
“I love him. So much. I just feel like I’m going to lose myself again. Like everything is going to change when we live together.”
“When is your lease up?”
“End of the year.”
“So like six weeks?”
She nodded.
“Try it. Move in with him from now until then. Pack some bags and go. See how it goes. You’ve said you don’t really love Max’s place anyway. You can always move out if it doesn’t go well with Graham.”
“Can I? If living together doesn’t end up how I want it to, can I just move out and everything will be okay?”
I shook my head sadly. “No, Abs. It won’t be okay. I’m sorry. If you try to move in and it doesn’t work, it’s not going to end well. But you love him. He’s a good guy.”
“Why are you suddenly in his corner?” She pouted.
I laughed and shook my head. “I’m not in his corner. I’m in your corner. I think you’re more afraid of losing yourself than you are of living with him. When Patrick and I were together, I felt like we had our own little bubble when we were home. When he was at work though, especially if he had to be somewhere else, I knew he was cheating on me. I was too afraid to leave him though. I thought I loved him, but it was never right between us.”
“You’ve always been so strong, so kick ass. Why would you put up w
ith that?”
I shrugged. “It was part of the process. No one out there was faithful. It was one of the many reasons I never felt like I fit in. But I tried. And I lost myself. I became exactly who you’re afraid of being. Trust me when I tell you Graham isn’t going to steal you. He comes to girls’ night. He hangs out with Max. He’s there for you. He’s not Brett, or Patrick. If you lose yourself, it’s going to be because of you.”
“What if I’m not strong enough to hold on to who I am?”
I smirked at her. “Then I’ll have to knock some sense into you.”
She laughed. “Thanks, Tara.” I nodded. “So you don’t think less of me for moving in with him?”
“Less of you?” I asked, baffled. “Why would I think less of you?”
She shrugged. “You were pretty set that it wasn’t right if I wasn’t excited about it.”
Yep, I was a shitty friend. “I’m sorry. I think you should be excited about moving in with him, but I also think you need to take a leap once in a while. You weren’t this happy with Brett when things were new. I’ve been gone a long time, but I really think Graham is that guy you were looking for when we met. The one who would be there for you.”
“Really?”
I nodded. “Yeah. He helped you set up SkinnyCakes. He’s supported you this whole time. Didn’t you tell me you’ve gotten a lot of new customers because of him?”
She grinned. “Yeah.”
“He’s not trying to steal your dream. He’s trying to grow it. He’s a good guy.”
“Thank you. I needed to hear that.”
I smiled. “You already knew all that. Graham is amazing. We can’t lump the good ones with the bad.”
“Speaking of the bad,” she said, bringing the conversation to the reason we were there. “What are we going to do about Patrick? I still think we should get you guys on a talk show together.”
“I just don’t know how. I have no pull.”
“Olivia does.”
“I don’t want to exploit Olivia.”
“I’m sure she wouldn’t mind,” Abby said absently. “She’s really sweet. I know girls’ nights get crazy, but I think you guys would really get along well if you talked more. Becca already adores you.”
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