I smiled thinking of Olivia’s little girl. She was definitely a reason to talk to Olivia, but I wasn’t sure there was a good enough reason anywhere. Especially if I had to ask her a favor.
“I can’t ask Olivia to get me on a talk show just because her daughter is sweet. Besides, who do you think Olivia knows?”
Abby gave me a duh look and said, “She works for the mayor. Who doesn’t she know?”
“In local politics, maybe, but what does that have to do with the media?”
“She’s been setting up some of the media with passes to different things. They’re filming part of the movie in Town Hall. Because of that, she’s been working with a lot of the media to get them access and to set up different places they can use to film tv segments for the week.”
“Seriously?”
Abby shrugged. “That’s what she said.”
Our lunch arrived and gave me a few minutes to think. I wasn’t really sure I wanted to talk to Olivia about anything, but it was hard to deny that she did have more contacts than I did.
“What would I say though? If I managed to get someone who was willing to talk to both of us, assuming he’d actually agree to it, what would I say?”
Abby chewed and swallowed, then sipped her water. Finally, she said, “I thought you were going to destroy him.”
“Well, yeah, but how? I’ve got pictures of him from the same day, but releasing them now will only bring a legal war and make me look like a jealous, petty bitch. I have to have more than just a few pictures to destroy him. Plus, no tv show would ever let that air.”
“True. What about stories? Do you have any dirt on him?”
I laughed mirthlessly. “I have tons of dirt, but does any of it matter?”
Abby arched an eyebrow. “I guess that depends on how badly you’d like to destroy him. If you have anything on him, we should talk about it.”
We spent the next hour dissecting everything Patrick had ever told me about studios. He always gave me advice on who to audition with and who to avoid. He called the big names in the business talentless hacks who wouldn’t know a good director if he slapped them in the face.
By the time we walked out, I was feeling better about what we’d uncovered. Abby agreed to talk to Olivia with me and we were going to pitch tv producers a show about the challenges of breaking into the industry with both a failed actress and a successful producer. I knew if Patrick saw it as a chance to show everyone he was better than me that he would jump at the chance.
I just had to bide my time. If any shows took the bait, I would be prepared.
I said goodbye to Abby and walked back down the street, pausing once more in front of the old studio. I couldn’t describe the knot in my stomach as I stood in front of that space. Like my insides were waging war.
Only I wasn’t sure what the war was over.
Chapter 11
I was nervous walking into Bite Me! Tuesday night. Abby promised to talk to Olivia with me, but I still hated to do it. It felt like high school, except Olivia and I weren’t friends.
I grabbed my plate off the counter and headed to the tables. Becca ran up and wrapped her arms around my neck. “Hi Tara!”
“Hey Bex. What’s shakin’?”
Becca let go of my legs and shimmied her little butt. “I’m shakin’! See! Mommy signed me up for dance classes at the Y. It’s so much fun!”
I laughed and set my plate down, crouching in front of her to be eye level. “Do you have a recital at the end?”
She nodded.
“You need to invite me so I can watch you shake it, okay?”
“Yay!” she yelled, right in my ear. She ran off to talk to Olivia and I went to get a cup of coffee.
“You’re really good with her. With all the kids,” Riley said. “Have you always liked kids?”
I shook my head. “When I was one, I hated it. But as I grew up, yeah. Bex and I bonded when we met though. She’s special.”
“You seem to have a knack for talking to them. You always know what to say or how to handle them.”
I shrugged, wondering why Riley was asking about the kids. “I guess it’s just something I got used to. They’re just people, but smaller than adults. If you treat them with respect, they’ll be thrilled. It’s one of those things most people don’t think about. Kids don’t want to be treated like kids all the time. Especially with adults.”
“What about babies though? You can’t talk to babies like that.”
“Sure you can. You read all the time. You know all this. What’s going on?”
She took a heavy breath and glanced around. “I’m pregnant.”
“Really! That’s great news!” I gave her a hug.
“It is. It’s also touchy. Carrie is the only other one who knows, but I’m worried about Addi. Connor and I have been trying for a little while, but not as long as Addi and Joey. Whenever someone else ends up pregnant she seems so depressed. Not that I blame her.”
I glanced at Addi. “It’s got to be hard on them, especially her. Does anyone know what’s going on?”
Riley shook her head. “I don’t, and we’re kind of close. I don’t know if Sam, Mandy, or Claire know anything.”
“Are you going to tell everyone about the baby?”
Riley nodded. “I was planning to tell everyone tonight. We’ve known for a while and heard the baby’s heartbeat yesterday. The doctor said once we hear the heartbeat we can start telling friends and family.”
“What did your parents say?”
“They’re thrilled,” she said with a dreamy grin. “My mom is already making predictions. And my sister is filling her living room with stuff to give me that her kids have outgrown.”
“It’ll be so nice for the baby to have other family. How old are your sister’s kids?”
“One, three, and five. They’ll be good cousins to have. And of course the kids here.”
“Your baby will definitely not be lonely.”
Riley laughed. “Definitely.” She sobered slightly. “I’m just not sure how good of a mom I’m going to be. I loved my sister’s kids, but I always had the chance to give them back. None of the sleepless nights Sam talks about, or the day care issues Mandy has, or the discomfort Carrie has. I just don’t know how I’m going to do with it.”
I shrugged. “You have plenty of people who will help. Plus, I think a lot of it ends up coming naturally. Your baby is a very lucky little person.”
“Thanks,” Riley said, tears filling her eyes. “Sorry. I’ve been an emotional wreck lately. This kid is destroying my hormones.”
I laughed. “From what I’ve heard, it’s only going to get worse.”
Riley groaned. “I know. But then it’ll be pretty awesome.”
I smiled. “See. Already a great mom.” I looped my arm through hers. “Let’s go share your news.”
As we approached the group, Connor noticed Riley and stood to go to her side. He was always so kind and amazing to everyone. He made sure we all felt comfortable, something I gave him a lot of credit for. He kissed my cheek and whispered, “She told you?”
I nodded. “Congratulations. You guys are going to make amazing parents.”
He stepped back and wrapped his arm around Riley. “Thanks. I have my doubts about my abilities, but she’ll be dynamite.”
“You both will be. We’ve got a lot of lucky kids in this group.”
They shared a loving look and I ducked away, giving them the ‘stage’ to make their announcement.
“We have some news we’d like to share with everyone,” Connor said, his voice booming above the noise our group made.
Xander and Brady tried to quiet the kids, and Olivia pulled Becca onto her lap.
“We’re having a baby!” they exclaimed together.
I kept my eyes on Addi when Riley and Connor made their announcement. Even though she and I hadn’t gotten overly close, I still considered her a friend. I wanted to be there for her, or even help her out some, but I had no idea
how.
When she heard Riley and Connor’s news, Addi’s chin dipped. Her shoulders moved with the deep breath she took as everyone around us asked excited questions about when Riley was due and how she was feeling.
Before I could go to Addi, Joey was crouching beside her. I couldn’t hear their words, but she shook her head in answer to whatever he asked. Her smile was forced when she met his eyes, but I could see how much they loved each other and how hurt they were by the news.
Not that Riley was pregnant, but just that they didn’t have their own news to share.
I’d felt the same way over the years. Not that it compared, but as my friends moved on to bigger roles, I was constantly left behind. Always fighting for whatever scrap I could come up with in Hollywood. My friends landed roles of a lifetime, many of them claiming they found love with their costars and their careers launching as they enjoyed the spotlight for a few months or years as the new ‘it’ couple.
I hadn’t kept up with many of them, but the relationships always ended. The careers eventually petered out. And while they were left to pick up the pieces of something great, I was left scrounging and hoping for a chance at something okay.
I told myself time and again that I shouldn’t compare my career, or my life, to other’s, but it was impossible not to do so. And I knew Addi was doing the same in that moment. It wasn’t a matter of wishing the other person didn’t get what they got, but it was wishing you had it, too.
Riley and Connor finally sat, both returning to their tables. Sam leaned over to Addi and said something that made her laugh, but I could still see the sadness in her eyes. It was inevitable that our conversation would revolve around kids for the rest of the night.
“I don’t know how you kept it a secret for so long,” Mandy said. “I think you guys knew within hours of me peeing on the stick.”
Riley laughed. “Well, we wanted to be extra safe. Just in case.”
Riley glanced at Carrie and they shared a sad smile. I knew Carrie had lost her first baby and it put the whole group on edge. Even though I didn’t know any of them then, I still felt the tension whenever someone found out they were pregnant. It was like an unspoken rule among them that they would follow doctor’s orders and wait until they heard the heartbeat before telling the others.
“I didn’t even know you were trying,” Sam said.
Riley nodded. “We have been for a while. We weren’t sure how long it would take, but we’d been trying for about six months.”
“We’ve been trying for almost two years. You guys are lucky,” Addi said with a watery smile.
“Addi, I’m sorry. I didn’t want to hurt you,” Riley said. “I wish it were you. I really do.”
Addi shook her head. “Don’t say that, Riles. Your baby is lucky to have you and Connor as parents. Joey and I will have our chance. We have to believe that. We’re thrilled for you, for all of you who’ve had babies, or are having them.”
“Thanks, Addi.”
“It’s hard to not be able to tell you guys we’re pregnant, too. I wish we could say that one of these months. We’re getting to the point where we don’t know what to do. Trying is fun, but it’s starting to feel like a job, and that’s not fun.”
Before anyone else could interject, Vicki leaned forward. “Um, maybe this is a little weird, but my sister is a fertility specialist. I could get you in to see her if you, um, if you have any interest in it.”
We all looked at Addi, waiting for her answer. Her eyes filled with tears and she pulled her lip between her teeth. When she nodded, we all grinned and my eyes stung with my own tears.
“Are you sure?” Addi asked.
Vicki nodded. “Of course. I mean, I don’t know what you’ve been through or tried. My sister said sometimes people aren’t interested in talking to a fertility specialist because they have to get to a certain point. Without knowing anything about what you’ve been through or what she really does, I can’t tell you anything will work, but I’m happy to at least connect you guys.”
“I really appreciate it, Vicki. Thank you.”
“I’ll call her tonight. I don’t know her schedule, but she’ll call you and get you in whenever it works for you.”
“Thank you. So much.”
“It’s what friends do, right?”
“We’re some lucky women,” Sam said, giving Addi a hug. “I don’t know what I would have done without you ladies over the years.”
“We are a pretty awesome group,” Mandy agreed. “I don’t know how we’ve found such amazing women. I always felt kind of alone growing up. Besides Claire, I didn’t have any close friends.”
“Trust me,” Claire said, “being popular was not all it’s cracked up to be. So many of the people I thought were my friends turned their backs on me so fast my head spun. I thought I had a lot of friends, but you were my only true one.”
“I know what you mean,” I added. “Hollywood is the same way. Any time I thought I’d made a new friend, she was only hanging out with me because she either wanted someone to commiserate with or someone she could believe she was better than. By the time I left, I knew I’d never go back.”
“What are you going to do?” Carrie asked.
“I’m trying to talk her into staying here,” Abby said with a grin.
“Yes, stay!”
“Don’t leave.”
“You have to stay here.”
“We’re awesome, don’t leave us!”
I laughed at their pleas and shook my head. “I haven’t decided what I’m going to do. I love acting, but it’s not easy to get into. Even if I ever made it in, I’m not sure I want to deal with all the shit that goes along with it. I like who I am. I enjoy food. And I never liked the idea of getting surgery or starving myself in order to fit into some Hollywood mold. Plus, the things you have to do to get a shot is horrifying in some cases. I’m not proud of some of the things I’ve done.”
“Have you considered theater?” Claire asked.
I shook my head and saw Olivia tense out of the corner of my eye. “I won’t do theater. I was in plays in high school and it ended up a pretty horrible experience. I don’t think I could get up in front of a live audience like that again.”
“What happened?”
I shrugged and tried to play it off, but even I heard my voice shake when I said, “I told my best friend how nervous I was because I beat out one of the popular girls for the lead. She was pissed and my supposed friend told her everything I was worried about and the girl made my fears come true.”
“That’s horrible,” Riley said. “I don’t understand why people have to be so mean.”
“Neither do I. I was really hurt. The girl got all her friends to hold up signs saying mean things about me were just nasty, but it was my friend who really hurt me. I never thought she would betray my trust like that. But she became one of them after. I guess it was her initiation or something.”
“Wow. Did you two ever speak again?” Mandy asked.
I laughed mirthlessly. “Actually, I ran into her a few months ago. We have a mutual friend so I’ve seen her a lot lately.”
“Has she apologized?”
I shook my head. “Not once.”
“You’re stronger than I am,” Abby said. “I don’t think I could have handled that. Losing my best friend, especially in high school, would be so hard.”
I nodded. “It was pretty horrible. Thankfully it was my senior year and when I went to college I made a new best friend.” I grinned at Abby.
“Well, I give you a lot of credit for not losing your shit with this other woman. It sucks that her being in town would push you out though. We’d all love to have you stay,” Sam said.
“I’m starting to consider it.”
“Especially since she’s now seeing Noah,” Abby teased.
“What?”
“Why didn’t you tell us?”
“When?”
“Tell me more.”
I laughed again. “He c
ame into Coming Up Daisies last week to order flowers for his mom.”
“Wait a minute. Are you sure they were for his mom?” Sam asked skeptically.
I nodded. “Same last name. We have records from when he ordered her flowers last year for her birthday.”
“As long as he’s not pulling double duty,” Sam said.
I laughed and shook my head. “If he is, he’s not sending her flowers from Daisies.”
“So what happened that he’s got you thinking of staying?”
“We went out this weekend. I like him. A lot. He makes me want to do more with my life. To be a better person. Plus, he’s really sweet and funny and-”
“Good in bed?” Sam asked.
I smirked at her. “Yeah, that too.”
“Did you ever find out his last name?”
I nodded and laughed. “Yeah, I did. And a whole lot more about him.”
“I miss falling in love,” Carrie whined. “It sucked at the time, but it was all so much fun. So sexy.”
“You’ll get that again after the baby,” Mandy said. “When they start sleeping through the night it’s like you have to learn each other all over again. But it’s better because you already know what he likes and he knows what you like.”
“When do they start sleeping through the night?” Sam groaned. “If I have many more months like this, I’m going to need to hire someone to work for me so I can sleep during the day.”
Mandy laughed. “She’ll start sleeping through the night any time now. It’ll get rough again around six months when teeth start coming in, but that only lasted a few nights.”
“Any tips?”
Mandy shook her head. “Unfortunately, no. Elise was always a sleeper.”
Sam groaned. “Maybe I’ll sleep again one day.”
“How’s Brady handling it?” Addi asked quietly.
Sam grinned. “He’s awesome. He just adores her. He gets up and changes her and dances with her when she cries at night. If I wasn’t nursing I think he’d feed her and sleep in her room with her.”
Round & Ravishing Page 9