The weather is tropical and humid before the afternoon rain, but I shiver from nerves, worried she’s right.
Chapter Thirty-One
Mara
I have such a good time with Nadia…like old times, except I don’t drink until I can’t stand up and I don’t go home with a stranger. So much, much better. Alex joins us for dinner and I’m happy that it’s not tense between us either.
Neither of them wants me to leave, but I’m exhausted and have more things to check off my list before I go back to Niaps.
“Stay here. Where did you say you were staying again? I’ve never even heard of the place,” Alex says.
I show him on a map from my phone and he shakes his head. “That’s not a good area. I’ll take you back.”
“Not necessary.” I hold up my hand and he steps closer so my hand rests on his chest. I smile and bite the side of my cheek. “Alex…”
“I’ll be on my best behavior, promise,” he whispers.
I look at Nadia and shake my head. “There’s no need.”
“Let him take you back. We’ll both feel better,” she says.
I hug her goodbye with a promise to try to stop by before I leave.
Alex is mostly quiet on the way to the inn. He pulls into the parking lot and parks, turning to face me. “It was brave, what you did today. Not smart at all, but brave.”
I laugh and I think it surprises him more than anything. He laughs after a few moments and takes my hand.
“It’s nice to have you in Yuman again. I’ve missed you, Mara.”
I sigh and lean my head back on my seat.
“I’m not going to start…I just had to say that.”
I nod. “Thank you.
He pats my hand then gets out of the car, walking around to open my door. When he walks me inside, he puts his arm around my waist and holds me close.
“I don’t like leaving you here,” he growls when we pass two men who openly stare at me.
“I’ll be fine.” I shiver when I say it, but he doesn’t call me out on it.
We reach my room and he walks inside, checking everything out.
“When I leave, lock everything, and if anything happens, you call me.”
“Alex, relax. You act like I’m gonna get kidnapped or something.”
“There’s a reason we travel with guards.”
“You don’t.”
“I don’t look like you.”
I sniff and take off my shoes, turning around to put my hand on his arm. “Thank you. Now go, I’m sleepy.”
He gives me a quick hug and then listens as I lock the door behind him.
* * *
My sleep is fitful and I dream of Elias…dreams I can’t remember anything about except the look on his face. Devastation. I wake up and look at the clock a couple dozen times throughout the night.
When I wake up the next morning, they’re showing recaps of my interview with Constrid on the morning shows and one reporter shows a picture of me with Alex from the night before. He has his arm around me and it looks like it was taken in the lobby of this hotel. I groan.
I check my account and the money is already there from the interview. I’m tempted to act now but decide to wait until I get home. Best to do it all in one fell swoop than in small increments.
Zsa calls after I get out of the shower.
“I’ve been thinking of nothing else since I saw you yesterday. Can you meet for lunch?” he says.
I laugh. “I’d love to. Where should we meet?”
“You know The Riveting? Let’s go there. It’s the perfect weather to go sit on the patio and get day-drunk while we plan.”
“I’m there. I’ll let you get day-drunk though. I need to get home tomorrow in one piece and with no more incriminating pictures for the tabloids.”
“Fine. We’ll be good…this time. Noon. I’ll send a car for you.”
We hang up and I feel better already. I think this trip is exactly what I needed.
As soon as I sit across from Zsa, he starts in. “I think you should move to Yuman. I saw that little interview yesterday. Girl, you are gonna be in deep shit with your parents.” He shakes his head and snaps in front of my face like he’s both ashamed and oh so proud. “You have got balls bigger than mine…I cannot tell you how excited I am that we are working together. But if you go home, I’m afraid I won’t see you again.” His eyes widen and he leans in. “You better stay here with me for a while.”
He motions for me to pick up the glass of sparkly and we toast.
“To a new business, a new home…” He winks. We clink glasses. “Seriously though, consider it. There’s a new building across from my studio—the condos are amazing.”
I think about not being able to see Elias all the time…or his relationship with Brienne, especially with me out of the way. It’s really tempting to escape.
“I’ll think about it. It might not be a bad idea for a while.”
“Word is Alex is still hot for you too. That man is like sin on long legs. Tell me he’s as good as he looks.”
I smile and Zsa whoops so loudly the table next to us glances over and raises their glasses.
The image of Elias leaning over me as he drove into me, leaving me senseless, rushes through my mind and Zsa mistakes it for lust over Alex.
“See? This little move…meant to be.”
I change the subject to clothes and the colors and fabrics I’ve been thinking about. He jumps on the topic and I’m able to get a breather from thoughts of Elias.
We stay there for hours, planning under a large umbrella. It’s the best day I’ve had in ages.
Before we leave, I hug Zsa. “You know what? I think I might move here. You’re right—I think it’d be good for me.”
He squeezes me tighter and then raises his fist in triumph.
* * *
The next day, I have breakfast with Nadia. We’re just getting started when I spill the news.
“I’m thinking about living in Yuman for a while…maybe I’ll get a condo and stay.”
She sets her fork down and leans in. “Seriously? I’ve been telling you to do that for years!” She puts her hand on my arm. “I’m really happy you reached out. It’ll be great having you here. Does Alex know yet?”
“No, I haven’t told my family either.”
She nods. “You’re welcome to stay at our place—you know there’s plenty of room!”
“Thank you. That’s really sweet. I think it’ll be good to get my own place though. I’ve never lived alone, never had to…do everything myself.” We grin at each other. Neither of us have had to lift a finger to do anything we didn’t want to do.
She shrugs and lifts an eyebrow. “Personally, I think it’s overrated, having to do everything yourself. I quite enjoy the lap of luxury.”
I laugh and she does too. “I think I’ll love being on my own, but I might not last more than a day. If so, I’ll come knocking on your door.”
She takes a sip of her drink and lifts it. “You know where to find me.”
* * *
I call the inn and tell Marjorie I’ll be arriving in a few hours.
“We will look forward to your return. Tea hasn’t been the same without you.”
Hearing a kind voice from back home makes me homesick, but I push through it. My home isn’t the same anymore, not without the hope of Elias. I need to make a new life for myself, somewhere where I’m not constantly faced with my mistakes.
I make a few phone calls and set an appointment to see the condos across from Zsa’s studio. I’d prefer someplace a little more private, so while I have a little extra time, I look online at houses.
With the plans I have, I can’t afford to buy a house at the moment, but the possibilities are hopeful. If my line with Zsa goes well, money shouldn’t be a problem for a long time.
Alex calls on my way to the airport, while I’m staring at kitchens and living rooms online.
“What’s this I hear about you moving her
e?”
“I am. I was going to tell you myself once I let Luka know.”
“I like the thought of having you here.”
I feel the beginning of another awkward conversation with Alex that I don’t want to have and try to ignore the loneliness in my chest.
It’s what always gets me in trouble.
Chapter Thirty-Two
Elias
I shouldn’t have answered the door.
“Mr. Elias Lancaster, you will need to be off of the premises by midnight. You’ve failed to meet our requirements and this home is now the property of Niaps Bank & Trust.”
“I can pay a portion of the payment today.”
“Unless you can pay it in full, I’m afraid there’s nothing I can do.”
I nod, too tired to fight. I’ve known this was coming and I’ve been hiding behind the drinking and late nights at the casino. I made enough last night to pay a little more off, but nowhere near what is owed.
I close the door on the man and throw the decanter across the room. It crashes and whiskey sloshes against the wall and floor. Winthrop rushes in and gives me a stern look.
“Certainly the time for fits has passed,” he says wryly. “What’s going on, Elias? Are you ready to fill me in yet? These moods have got to stop.”
“I’ve lost everything.”
“Everything?” His brow crinkles and he looks like an alien with his oblong bald head and wrinkled skin, too large eyes and nose and ears.
I move to him, putting my hand on his shoulder. “We have to be out of here by tonight. I’m sorry. I’ve done everything I could to keep this place.”
“Why didn’t you tell me the house was in trouble? I would’ve helped.” He shakes his head, putting his hand on his heart. “And you haven’t lost everything, son. You have your health…if you’ll stop trying to drink it away and grinding it into the ground with these fights. You’ll get back on your feet. Your father left you with a mighty cross to bear. This could be the best thing to happen to you, getting out of this house.”
He pats my back and walks down the hall, whistling.
I stare at him, shocked that he’s so nonchalant about the whole thing. Not even nonchalant, but happy. This has been his home too. Where will we go?
He comes back into the room a few minutes later, carrying a box. “Are you going to just stand there or are you going to get to work? We can’t take everything, but I’ll start with the valuables.”
“The valuables?”
“Your mother’s jewelry, the silver…”
“I sold my mother’s jewelry a long time ago.”
He gives me a sharp look. “Even her secret stash?”
“Her secret stash? What do you mean? I think I’d know if there were a secret stash.”
He motions for me to follow him and we go up the stairs and he pulls down the ladder to the attic. The attic has always given me the creeps and I haven’t been up there in years. The only time I ever liked being in the attic was with Mara. She made it feel like an adventure.
I follow him up anyway and he stops at a picture hanging on the wall.
“I thought your mother told you about this when she got out of the hospital that last time.”
“She said a lot of things that day…none of it made much sense to me.”
“Pity. Could’ve saved you from a lot of grief.”
He takes the picture off of the hook and there’s a safe. He taps the numbers and I wonder how he managed to know this secret when I’ve lived here my whole life and had no idea.
The safe opens up and inside are three things: a long envelope, a small leather bag, and a flat velvet box. I open the envelope first.
Dear Elias,
If you are reading this letter, it means I am gone. You always were a good boy, regardless of what I said to you in my times of darkness. I’m sorry for those times.
Your father can’t know about the contents in this safe or he’ll find a way to squander it. I hope you will do a better job at life than either your father or I have done. Promise me you’ll do better.
I do love you, despite my ill attempts to show you. I think in another life I could’ve been a much better mother. I wish I could try again. That is just one of many regrets. Promise me you won’t live a life full of regrets.
Winthrop is the only one besides you who knows about the safe. I trust you’ll take care of him when the time comes.
Love,
Mother
My mother never wanted me to play in the attic. I got in trouble when Mara and I were caught up here. But when she got out of the hospital the last time, she was in a confused state. She was in and out of consciousness and a nurse was with her most of the time. I’d come into the room and she’d try to talk and get agitated, so I’d encourage her not to talk.
I don’t remember her ever saying anything about a safe. She’d clutched my hand and said “blue bird” over and over again. She also whispered numbers frantically and I left the room every time, tormented by her madness. I turn the painting over and study the girl standing in a room. Behind her, a blue bird is perched in a birdcage.
“Blue bird,” I whisper.
I look at Winthrop. “Do you know what’s in the bag?” I hold up the leather bag and hear the rustling jingle of something that sounds like stones.
“I do.” His eyes are brighter than they’ve been in a while, looking more excited than he usually allows himself to show. I can’t help but smile at him and he pushes the bag toward my chest. “Open.”
I grin wider and pull apart the tassels to the rope clinching the bag together. The bag is full of precious stones, the shimmer from them catching the light in every direction. I shake my head, not believing what I’m seeing.
“Where did she get these?”
“Your grandfather started her collection when she was sixteen and he’d ask me to procure a gem for her now and then. It became a challenge to see what I could find and it brought her joy, so I kept doing it long after her father passed.”
“This is a fortune right here in this little bag. I can’t believe it’s been sitting here all this time.”
Winthrop gives me a shrewd look. “Seems you have a choice to make.”
“Yeah? What’s that?” Running my hands through the stones is mesmerizing, but his next words stop me cold.
“Are you going to carry your father’s curse and live a life of debt, always looking over your shoulder? Or your mother’s, where you’ll never believe you’re good enough and blame everyone else for your mistakes?” He leans in and I find myself leaning in too. “Or are you going to become a man of honor, of integrity, of what I know is deep inside of you, and break free from who you’ve thought you were, to become who you really should be?”
I stare at him, letting what he’s saying settle into my bones. He doesn’t normally speak quite this freely, so I am listening with every nerve standing at attention.
“God, Winthrop…why don’t you say how you really feel?” I finally say, choking out a laugh so I don’t crawl into a ball in the corner.
He chuckles. “It’s time I say my piece. God knows I wish I’d done it with your mother—if I could do it over again, I’d tell her to not marry your father…lot of good that would’ve done. She probably wouldn’t have taken me to her new household, if I had, but…” He waves his hand dismissively, his words dying off. But then he narrows his eyes at me. “You’re twenty-five and you’ve lost your way. You belong with Mara and you deserve a life of happiness, both of you. Quit squandering it with meaningless chases after wealth and something better…you are exceptional. You have more than enough, and if the two of you are together, what more could you need?”
I swallow the growing lump in my throat and nod. “I don’t want anyone or anything but her. Have you seen her though? She needs the whole world. She deserves the finest of everything…at the very least, to not have to worry about collectors coming to take her home in the middle of the night.”
“So do
n’t give her any reason to have collectors coming in the middle of the night. And I think she’s had the finest of everything, but it all means nothing without you.”
I rub my eyes with my fingers. “Damn it, Winthrop. Where have you been?”
“I’ve been right here, hoping you’d wake up and get your shit together.”
I look at him in surprise.
“That’s right. Get your shit together. Before you lose her for good.” He picks up the velvet box. “Open this and then make your decision. If you choose wrong, I’m not sure I can stick around to see you spiral further.”
I stare at the box for a moment and open it slowly. Inside is a necklace with malaslite, the rarest stone in the world.
“Wh-how did she…I can’t believe this.”
“This was the last gift from your grandfather to your mother. He gave it to her after you were born and by then, I think she knew of your father’s proclivities toward spending what he didn’t have. She didn’t want him to ever know about this, and to my knowledge, he didn’t.”
“It would be long gone if he had.”
He nods and puts his hand on my shoulder. “I’ll start packing and let you think about things. I can get buyers for the stones in no time. I still meet with a fellow who would snatch them up if I merely say the word.”
The need to sit at the table and see what I can make of this new wealth is blinding. The fact that it’s my first thought—how can I go make more?—when I’ve done so poorly with what I’ve had, is an astounding blow.
Fuck. I have a problem.
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