All in the Timing

by April Zyon

  “He always has carried the world on his shoulders.” Theresa shook her head and sighed. “I think that may be partially my fault, and the rest is all on his father’s shoulders. May he rest in peace,” she whispered, crossing herself.

  “You raised him very well. Don’t even try to take any of that on yourself. Frank is a wonderful man and I’m so happy that he’s mine.”

  Theresa eyed her up and down, like she was trying to figure Eli out. “I think you will do just fine for my first born.” Taking a sip of her coffee, she looked to her watch and her eyes went huge. “Well, shit. I’m going to be late for the book club. If I’m not there on time, those old biddies start drinking without me. I must go. What do I owe you for the coffee, sweetheart?”

  “Nothing at all.” Holy mother of the gods, had Theresa Carver just cussed? “Family always eats free.” She grinned. “And since I get to call you Mama, I would say that we were family, right?” She had passed the woman’s test? Eli felt a little weak in the knees at that thought. Thank the gods, she had!

  “That we are, Elizabeth, that we are. Anyway, I must run. Tell Frank to ensure you are out at the ranch by six so that you can have yourself a beverage before we eat. Nothing too fancy, of course, but I think you’ll quite enjoy it. Until later.” She gave a wave and practically jogged out of the diner.

  When Mrs. Carver walked out, Eli could have sworn she heard every single head in the place turn her way. She didn’t look out at them, though. She just took a deep breath and did what any grown woman would do. She walked toward her office and shut herself up in there so she could collect herself.

  Twenty minutes later, she was still there when someone knocked on the door. A moment later, the door swung open and Frank stuck his head around the edge. “Is it safe for me to come in, or should I be making sure my life insurance is up to date first?”

  “Oh my God, you didn’t tell me that she was going to throw a party for the whole town to celebrate our wedding. You told me that you talked to her, but not that she was planning a huge shin-dig. Come in.” She shook her head. “And she said that I would do for her first born. That’s good, right?”

  Shutting the door behind him, Frank leaned back against it and nodded. “Yes, that’s very good. Probably the highest rating so far out of all the other halves. I did tell you she was going to do a party, love. Since she couldn’t do the wedding, she was damn well determined she do the biggest party possible befitting the fact her eldest has finally decided to settle down.”

  “I’ve never really been big in the community. I know that my parents were, but I just sort of faded into the background because I’m actually a very shy person.”

  “If you want to put a stop to it or keep it smaller, we’ll tell her tonight at dinner. Baby, I don’t want you uncomfortable through any of this.” Pushing off the door, he walked around her desk and crouched down next to her chair. “This is for us, not for the gossip mongers of the town. We can do whatever you want, whatever makes you happy, and whatever you are comfortable with.”

  “As long as you are there and with me, I’m good. I can handle anything that’s thrown our way as long as you are right there at my side.” She was confident of that fact. “So, yeah. Whatever she wants to do. Just don’t leave me to her book club? Those women scare me.”

  “Hell no,” he said vehemently. Taking her hand, he pressed a kiss to her wrist. “They fucking scare me too. We will stay together, glued to one another at all times, and watch the other’s back. We’re in this together, Eli. Never doubt that. Now, come on. Let’s go do whatever you need to get done so we can get home, shower, and then head over to Mama’s.”

  “Sounds good.” She nodded and rose to her feet so she could approach him. “Together, we will be good.”

  Tugging her into his arms, he kissed her gently. “It’s all right,” he said against her cheek. Rubbing her back, he hugged her tight for a long moment.

  “I will have to endure the questions on if we are pregnant, and if we aren’t, why not, and when we plan on expanding the Carver family and so on and on.” She could already all but hear the women and their motivating speeches.

  “Thus why we’re sticking together,” he said. Giving her another quick kiss, Frank looped an arm around her shoulders and led her from the office. “Now, what do we need to get done before we head out?”

  “I’m pretty much done with everything.” She wrapped her arm around his middle and hugged him. His kiss did much to ease her frustration and fear, far more than he could possibly know. “Now, I think that getting out of here and spending time alone would be good, don’t you?”

  “For what little time we have before having to face Mama over the dinner table. Let your people know I’m kidnapping you, and I’ll let the guys know we’re heading home and then out to the ranch.”

  “Sounds like a plan to me. Let’s do this thing. Do you think that your mom needs anything additional for the meal tonight?”

  “Nothing at all. We’ll pick up a bottle of her favorite wine. Anything more and she’ll get insulted, and I’ll have to deal with the glowers from her side of the table all night long.”

  “That’s kind of what I thought. You should have seen the way people acted when she came into the diner. Everyone went silent. It was the craziest thing that I’ve ever seen in my life.”

  “Oh, I believe it,” he muttered. “Let your staff know we’re heading out,” he said with a squeeze. Letting her go, he headed toward one of the booths where she finally noticed one of the guys sitting and watching everything.

  She gave a nod, and then after giving her goodbyes to her staff, she walked out of the diner with Frank holding her hand. After they were in the car, she shifted so that she could look at him and smiled. “Now then, where were you hiding while your mom came and bum rushed me?”

  “I was with Brant when the one agent sent me a nine-one-one text to let me know Mama was there. I got there as quick as I could, fearing she’d interrogate you or something. Can’t believe she managed to get out of there before I even showed up.”

  “She didn’t interrogate me. I enjoyed talking to her and it made me feel so much better to know that she accepted me. She told me that I could call her Mama too. I liked that. It’s been so long since I’ve had a mom, so I am happy that she’s going to be in my life like that.”

  Coming to a stop at a light, Frank tugged her in close across the seat in the truck, one hand moving to cup her cheek. “She adores you, Eli. Telling you to call her Mama is just her way to show she’s happy you’re joining the insanity that is her family.”

  Eli leaned against his hand and sighed. “God, I love you.” She had told him that many times before, but she had to tell him again. “And I’m happy that she’s happy.”

  “I love you, too, Elizabeth.”

  “So do you think that your mom will have the whole clan there for dinner? At least the ones that are in the community that is?”

  “Nope, it’s only to be the three of us. She actually kicked Joshua and Ali out of the house with explicit instructions not to come back until at least ten. The same with Brant and Mercy. She was tempted to hijack Levi and Angel, but decided against it at the last minute when it looked like Brant would arm wrestle her for the kids.” He turned onto the main road once they were moving again, and headed for her house. “While Mama’s a wily bird and has certain skills, Brant has her outweighed by a couple pounds.”

  “Oh wow. Seriously? That surprises me.” Eli snickered and added, “I’m seriously surprised that she didn’t try, and I have to admit that I’m more than mildly panicked now that she’s cleared everyone out of the place for us to have dinner together. Just the three of us.”

  “She wants to get to know you better without the pressure of the rest of the family there. She does it with everyone that gets sucked into the Carver sexual vortex. By the way, she doesn’t know the kids refer to it that way, so try not to mention it.”

  “Oh God.” She was giggling, she coul
dn’t help it. The Carver Sexual Vortex? She was just stunned. “And when did you all come up with that term, by the way? Just curious is all.”

  “When Brant, Travis, and I were in college. We started to notice the unusual phenomenon in high school, but in college, it became rather clear something in the Carver genes were acting in our favor. We’ve always had an unusual effect on the female population, which means we have a rather dire effect on the male population. Pops used to say it stemmed from one of his relatives, a great-grandfather, I think, who made a pact with a fairy during a drunken binge out in some field in Scotland one winter.”

  Eli shook her head and grinned. “Right. Well at least now you are all taken, so that’s a good thing, right? No longer will the female population have to worry about this generation’s Carver boys.” Not when she had hers, and she knew that Mercy, Ali, and Cassidy would keep their Carvers as well. “Poor Levi is the first kid of the next generation of the Carver Vortex. Are you boys going to ensure he knows all about it?”

  “There’s still one Carver boy out there,” he said. At her look, he shrugged. “Martin’s still roaming around without the one to keep him warm at night. And the girls still are doing their thing, much to Mama’s dismay. She’d hoped Helena, at the very least, would settle. Brandy she understands will likely do her own thing for a little longer, but she worries about her oldest daughter. As to Levi, hells yeah we’ll be explaining the vortex to him. Damn thing can be deadly if misused.”

  “And it can come in handy if used right, is that what you are telling me?” Eli felt her lips twitching, but she contained her grin, barely. “That poor kid will have gaggles of women after him, won’t he?”

  “The kid has gaggles of women after him now. Who the hell are you kidding? It doesn’t wait to activate. It kicks in and that’s that. From now until his last day on earth, he will be a draw to the ladies. Course, the kid is damn cute. Which reminds me, when Mama pulls out the photo album, remember that when she went snap happy on me that first year I was an only child. I was also a baby. So anything where I might have been running around in the nude was my attempt to assert some form of independence. That’s my story, and I’m sticking to it.”

  “Oh God, you were a nudist?” she teased him happily. “That’s priceless. Utterly. I love it. I wanted to be a nudist, but you remember my mom and dad.”

  “Well, we also lived way the hell out of town,” he said. “Not like we had neighbors who possibly could have complained. Besides that, it’s damn hard to keep a kid dressed if he really doesn’t want to be. Where there is a will, there is a way. Pretty much the motto of every child out there.. If you feel the need to let out your inner nudist, don’t let me stop you.”

  “Right, I will keep that in mind.” She practically was a nudist when they were home. “I just don’t think that you will see me strolling around town in nothing but my birthday suit. You are the only one, aside from my doctor, that gets to see me naked.”

  “Eli, sweetheart, you go wandering around town naked I’m going to have to kill every male around these parts for daring to look at you. Keep your nudist tendencies at home, if you would please.”

  “Don’t worry, I will. You, I love to see me naked. No one else though.” Even when she was at the doctor’s office, she was covered as much as she could be with the gown or the blanket. She didn’t like showing her body off, except to Frank, who seemed to appreciate it a heck of a lot.

  “That would be the correct answer.” Sliding out of the truck, he came around to help her down. “Now, get your cute little ass inside and get naked. We only have a couple hours, and we cannot be late for dinner or we’ll both be in so much shit we might need to vacate the country.”

  “Right, that wouldn’t be good. I don’t want your mom to hate me after just approving of me.” Eli walked into the house in front of Frank, tossing her keys onto the little table at the entry, and starting to strip from there, leaving her clothes in her wake as she walked toward the living room and the plush couch.

  Chapter Five

  They made it to the Carver Ranch on time, barely. Hopping out of the truck, Eli grabbed Frank’s hand and dragged him to the front door. Which opened before her shoe even hit the top tread. “Right on time,” Theresa Carver said with a smile. “I do so love that you have that very lovely trait, my dear. My children too often get distracted.”

  Eli felt her cheeks turn pink and she grinned. “I wish that I could take credit, but that would be a lie.” Utter truth. She turned to Frank and said, “Actually, Frank is the only reason we are here on time. I have to admit to you, ma’am, that I got very distracted.” By her son, but she so wasn’t going to voice that part aloud.

  Clicking her tongue, Theresa waved them inside, taking the bottle from Frank and turning her cheek up for his kiss. “Yes, all my daughters-in-law have fallen under that spell the Carver men seem to cast out. What was it Frank Sr. used to call it?” She drummed her nails on the bottle of wine while leading the way to the kitchen. “Oh right! The Carver Sexual Vortex. Silly name, if you ask me,” she muttered.

  Eli snorted, she was very happy she hadn’t had a drink or she would have likely spat it out. She was grinning ear to ear when she asked, “So, you are saying that your husband knew about it as well? It wasn’t a fluke thing that your boys got?” Okay, so that sounded a bit more hopeful than she intended.

  “Hell yes, he knew about it. The boys may have named the damn thing, but it’s as real as you or me. Before I caught Frank’s eye, he usually had a gaggle of dreamy-eyed girls on his boot heels. Same with his brothers, and every man back to apparently his great-grandfather. I’m sure Frank’s told you about the rumor of how this malarky got started?”

  “No, he hasn’t. Not all of it at least.” Eli moved away from Frank and settled on one of the barstools near his mother. “I would love to hear about it, though, if you wouldn’t mind telling me.” The kitchen was homey and smelled amazing. Eli shot Frank a devious smile, one that begged for the whole story.

  Frank shot her a look. He had told her a tiny bit, but she knew his mother would have more dirt on the so-called roots of the Vortex.

  “Well,” Theresa said while opening the bottle of wine they’d brought her. “His great-grandfather Edmond was over in Scotland. Apparently, the girl of his dreams had been, for all intents and purposes, sold into marriage. Oh get that look off your faces. It was a different time back then.” Huffing out a breath, she collected glasses, poured them each one, and passed them over. “Edmond wasn’t what one could really call a ladies man. He’d done all right for himself, true enough, but he had a certain hesitancy about himself. According to the Carver family lore, Edmond was off to visit his girl at her posh London townhouse, and the butler told him she’d gone off to be married to some Scot. So Edmond rushed off in the hopes of catching up to the group prior to the nuptials. He ended up being a little too late. In fact, he busted in on the post wedding party, right as the couple were headed up the stairs. The groom had the bride over his shoulder, and well, things went downhill from there.”

  Theresa eased onto a stool and continued the story. “Grabbing a cup from one of the Scots, he downed the ale after toasting the happy couple. Then he collected a flagon of ale and departed the party. Now he wasn’t a drinker beyond a couple casual glasses of brandy here and there through the year, so it hit him pretty hard. He ended up wandering out into the countryside and flopping down next to one of the fairy hills. Apparently, he was bemoaning his situation when a fairy popped up. Personally, I think he was six sheets to the wind. The fairy asked him what was wrong, and he bared his soul to the wee thing. Now normally, fairies are spiteful, vicious, and generally a bunch of little assholes. But this one felt bad for Edmond and granted him a boon. The Carver Sexual Vortex, or a little extra sexual appeal as the rest of the universe knows it. Like all gifts from the wee folk, though, it was both a blessing and a curse. And that is the totally inane story of bullshit about this idiotic Vortex.”

 
“Mama, have you been drinking already?” Frank asked.

  “Had a small nip of whiskey earlier. Why do you ask, dear?”

  “Never mind, was just curious. Something smells good in here, I have to say.” He shot Eli a look and rolled his eyes. When Theresa got up to check on the various pots, he leaned in to put his lips to her ear. “She only really swears when she’s flustered or if she’s had a glass of something. Then the gloves are off, and the trucker mouth is out.”

  She turned to ask Theresa, “And what makes you think that this thing is real? That he hadn’t just been drinking when he dreamed all this up?”

  “Oh it’s a bunch of crap,” Theresa said. “Good genes and confidence in who they are explain away the entire phenomenon. While they do seem to have a rock star effect on the ladies, when a man’s confident and comfortable in his own skin, it’s the biggest draw there is. As long as he’s got good manners, and doesn’t expect a woman to be his slave. Which is why all my boys, and the girls, too, know how to cook, clean, and even some basic needlework for fixing their own clothing. While they might not end up as five-star chefs, they’re all still alive, so that’s a testament to the fact they can manage.”

  “I think that you are absolutely correct. I think that confidence is beyond sexy. It is beyond looks. It’s all about the swagger, so to speak.” She grinned. “I am very thankful that you are able to have kids that are able to take care of themselves. Personally, I prefer the cooking, but if Frank wants to slip me breakfast in bed from time to time, I won’t complain.”

  “Good for you,” Theresa said. Wiping her hands, she waved them to the table. “Grab a seat, and I’ll bring over the food.”

  Frank shook his head and stood up. Taking her wine glass, he led Eli to the table and held her chair for her. Once she was sitting down, he went back to help his mother despite the protests. Soon, everyone was at the table digging into the meal.