Complete Works of L. Frank Baum

by L. Frank Baum

  This greatly pleased the lady, and she said quite cheerfully:

  “Well, I won’t hurt you, so don’t be scared any more. I just wanted to see what the human eye was good for.”

  “The human eye is a fearful weapon,” remarked the Lion, scratching his nose softly with his paw to hide a smile. “Had I not known you were Dorothy’s friends I might have torn you both into shreds in order to escape your terrible gaze.”

  Aunt Em shuddered at hearing this, and Uncle Henry said hastily:

  “I’m glad you knew us. Good morning, Mr. Lion; we’ll hope to see you again--by and by--some time in the future.”

  “Good morning,” replied the Lion, squatting down upon the lawn again. “You are likely to see a good deal of me, if you live in the Land of Oz.”

  8. How the Grand Gallipoot Joined The Nomes

  After leaving the Whimsies, Guph continued on his journey and penetrated far into the Northwest. He wanted to get to the Country of the Growleywogs, and in order to do that he must cross the Ripple Land, which was a hard thing to do. For the Ripple Land was a succession of hills and valleys, all very steep and rocky, and they changed places constantly by rippling. While Guph was climbing a hill it sank down under him and became a valley, and while he was descending into a valley it rose up and carried him to the top of a hill. This was very perplexing to the traveler, and a stranger might have thought he could never cross the Ripple Land at all. But Guph knew that if he kept steadily on he would get to the end at last; so he paid no attention to the changing hills and valleys and plodded along as calmly as if walking upon the level ground.

  The result of this wise persistence was that the General finally reached firmer soil and, after penetrating a dense forest, came to the Dominion of the Growleywogs.

  No sooner had he crossed the border of this domain when two guards seized him and carried him before the Grand Gallipoot of the Growleywogs, who scowled upon him ferociously and asked him why he dared intrude upon his territory.

  “I’m the Lord High General of the Invincible Army of the Nomes, and my name is Guph,” was the reply. “All the world trembles when that name is mentioned.”

  The Growleywogs gave a shout of jeering laughter at this, and one of them caught the Nome in his strong arms and tossed him high into the air. Guph was considerably shaken when he fell upon the hard ground, but he appeared to take no notice of the impertinence and composed himself to speak again to the Grand Gallipoot.

  “My master, King Roquat the Red, has sent me here to confer with you. He wishes your assistance to conquer the Land of Oz.”

  Here the General paused, and the Grand Gallipoot scowled upon him more terribly than ever and said:

  “Go on!”

  The voice of the Grand Gallipoot was partly a roar and partly a growl. He mumbled his words badly and Guph had to listen carefully in order to understand him.

  These Growleywogs were certainly remarkable creatures. They were of gigantic size, yet were all bone and skin and muscle, there being no meat or fat upon their bodies at all. Their powerful muscles lay just underneath their skins, like bunches of tough rope, and the weakest Growleywog was so strong that he could pick up an elephant and toss it seven miles away.

  It seems unfortunate that strong people are usually so disagreeable and overbearing that no one cares for them. In fact, to be different from your fellow creatures is always a misfortune. The Growleywogs knew that they were disliked and avoided by every one, so they had become surly and unsociable even among themselves. Guph knew that they hated all people, including the Nomes; but he hoped to win them over, nevertheless, and knew that if he succeeded they would afford him very powerful assistance.

  “The Land of Oz is ruled by a namby-pamby girl who is disgustingly kind and good,” he continued. “Her people are all happy and contented and have no care or worries whatever.”

  “Go on!” growled the Grand Gallipoot.

  “Once the Nome King enslaved the Royal Family of Ev--another goody-goody lot that we detest,” said the General. “But Ozma interfered, although it was none of her business, and marched her army against us. With her was a Kansas girl named Dorothy, and a Yellow Hen, and they marched directly into the Nome King’s cavern. There they liberated our slaves from Ev and stole King Roquat’s Magic Belt, which they carried away with them. So now our King is making a tunnel under the deadly desert, so we can march through it to the Emerald City. When we get there we mean to conquer and destroy all the land and recapture the Magic Belt.”

  Again he paused, and again the Grand Gallipoot growled:

  “Go on!”

  Guph tried to think what to say next, and a happy thought soon occurred to him.

  “We want you to help us in this conquest,” he announced, “for we need the mighty aid of the Growleywogs in order to make sure that we shall not be defeated. You are the strongest people in all the world, and you hate good and happy creatures as much as we Nomes do. I am sure it will be a real pleasure to you to tear down the beautiful Emerald City, and in return for your valuable assistance we will allow you to bring back to your country ten thousand people of Oz, to be your slaves.”

  “Twenty thousand!” growled the Grand Gallipoot.

  “All right, we promise you twenty thousand,” agreed the General.

  The Gallipoot made a signal and at once his attendants picked up General Guph and carried him away to a prison, where the jailer amused himself by sticking pins in the round fat body of the old Nome, to see him jump and hear him yell.

  But while this was going on the Grand Gallipoot was talking with his counselors, who were the most important officials of the Growleywogs. When he had stated to them the proposition of the Nome King, he said:

  “My advice is to offer to help them. Then, when we have conquered the Land of Oz, we will take not only our twenty thousand prisoners but all the gold and jewels we want.”

  “Let us take the Magic Belt, too,” suggested one counselor.

  “And rob the Nome King and make him our slave,” said another.

  “That is a good idea,” declared the Grand Gallipoot. “I’d like King Roquat for my own slave. He could black my boots and bring me my porridge every morning while I am in bed.”

  “There is a famous Scarecrow in Oz. I’ll take him for my slave,” said a counselor.

  “I’ll take Tiktok, the machine man,” said another.

  “Give me the Tin Woodman,” said a third.

  They went on for some time, dividing up the people and the treasure of Oz in advance of the conquest. For they had no doubt at all that they would be able to destroy Ozma’s domain. Were they not the strongest people in all the world?

  “The deadly desert has kept us out of Oz before,” remarked the Grand Gallipoot, “but now that the Nome King is building a tunnel we shall get into the Emerald City very easily. So let us send the little fat General back to his King with our promise to assist him. We will not say that we intend to conquer the Nomes after we have conquered Oz, but we will do so, just the same.”

  This plan being agreed upon, they all went home to dinner, leaving General Guph still in prison. The Nome had no idea that he had succeeded in his mission, for finding himself in prison he feared the Growleywogs intended to put him to death.

  By this time the jailer had tired of sticking pins in the General, and was amusing himself by carefully pulling the Nome’s whiskers out by the roots, one at a time. This enjoyment was interrupted by the Grand Gallipoot sending for the prisoner.

  “Wait a few hours,” begged the jailer. “I haven’t pulled out a quarter of his whiskers yet.”

  “If you keep the Grand Gallipoot waiting, he’ll break your back,” declared the messenger.

  “Perhaps you’re right,” sighed the jailer. “Take the prisoner away, if you will, but I advise you to kick him at every step he takes. It will be good fun, for he is as soft as a ripe peach.”

  So Guph was led away to the royal castle, where the Grand Gallipoot told him tha
t the Growleywogs had decided to assist the Nomes in conquering the Land of Oz.

  “Whenever you are ready,” he added, “send me word and I will march with eighteen thousand of my most powerful warriors to your aid.”

  Guph was so delighted that he forgot all the smarting caused by the pins and the pulling of whiskers. He did not even complain of the treatment he had received, but thanked the Grand Gallipoot and hurried away upon his journey.

  He had now secured the assistance of the Whimsies and the Growleywogs; but his success made him long for still more allies. His own life depended upon his conquering Oz, and he said to himself:

  “I’ll take no chances. I’ll be certain of success. Then, when Oz is destroyed, perhaps I shall be a greater man than old Roquat, and I can throw him away and be King of the Nomes myself. Why not? The Whimsies are stronger than the Nomes, and they also are my friends. There are some people still stronger than the Growleywogs, and if I can but induce them to aid me I shall have nothing more to fear.”

  9. How the Wogglebug Taught Athletics

  It did not take Dorothy long to establish herself in her new home, for she knew the people and the manners and customs of the Emerald City just as well as she knew the old Kansas farm.

  But Uncle Henry and Aunt Em had some trouble in getting used to the finery and pomp and ceremony of Ozma’s palace, and felt uneasy because they were obliged to be “dressed up” all the time. Yet every one was very courteous and kind to them and endeavored to make them happy. Ozma, especially, made much of Dorothy’s relatives, for her little friend’s sake, and she well knew that the awkwardness and strangeness of their new mode of life would all wear off in time.

  The old people were chiefly troubled by the fact that there was no work for them to do.

  “Ev’ry day is like Sunday, now,” declared Aunt Em, solemnly, “and I can’t say I like it. If they’d only let me do up the dishes after meals, or even sweep an’ dust my own rooms, I’d be a deal happier. Henry don’t know what to do with himself either, and once when he stole out an’ fed the chickens Billina scolded him for letting ‘em eat between meals. I never knew before what a hardship it is to be rich and have everything you want.”

  These complaints began to worry Dorothy; so she had a long talk with Ozma upon the subject.

  “I see I must find them something to do,” said the girlish Ruler of Oz, seriously. “I have been watching your uncle and aunt, and I believe they will be more contented if occupied with some light tasks. While I am considering this matter, Dorothy, you might make a trip with them through the Land of Oz, visiting some of the odd corners and introducing your relatives to some of our curious people.”

  “Oh, that would be fine!” exclaimed Dorothy, eagerly.

  “I will give you an escort befitting your rank as a Princess,” continued Ozma; “and you may go to some of the places you have not yet visited yourself, as well as some others that you know. I will mark out a plan of the trip for you and have everything in readiness for you to start to-morrow morning. Take your time, dear, and be gone as long as you wish. By the time you return I shall have found some occupation for Uncle Henry and Aunt Em that will keep them from being restless and dissatisfied.”

  Dorothy thanked her good friend and kissed the lovely Ruler gratefully. Then she ran to tell the joyful news to her uncle and aunt.

  Next morning, after breakfast, everything was found ready for their departure.

  The escort included Omby Amby, the Captain General of Ozma’s army, which consisted merely of twenty-seven officers besides the Captain General. Once Omby Amby had been a private soldier--the only private in the army--but as there was never any fighting to do Ozma saw no need of a private, so she made Omby Amby the highest officer of them all. He was very tall and slim and wore a gay uniform and a fierce mustache. Yet the mustache was the only fierce thing about Omby Amby, whose nature was as gentle as that of a child.

  The wonderful Wizard had asked to join the party, and with him came his friend the Shaggy Man, who was shaggy but not ragged, being dressed in fine silks with satin shags and bobtails. The Shaggy Man had shaggy whiskers and hair, but a sweet disposition and a soft, pleasant voice.

  There was an open wagon, with three seats for the passengers, and the wagon was drawn by the famous wooden Sawhorse which had once been brought to life by Ozma by means of a magic powder. The Sawhorse wore wooden shoes to keep his wooden legs from wearing away, and he was strong and swift. As this curious creature was Ozma’s own favorite steed, and very popular with all the people of the Emerald City, Dorothy knew that she had been highly favored by being permitted to use the Sawhorse on her journey.

  In the front seat of the wagon sat Dorothy and the Wizard. Uncle Henry and Aunt Em sat in the next seat and the Shaggy Man and Omby Amby in the third seat. Of course Toto was with the party, curled up at Dorothy’s feet, and just as they were about to start, Billina came fluttering along the path and begged to be taken with them. Dorothy readily agreed, so the Yellow Hen flew up and perched herself upon the dashboard. She wore her pearl necklace and three bracelets upon each leg, in honor of the occasion.

  Dorothy kissed Ozma good-bye, and all the people standing around waved their handkerchiefs, and the band in an upper balcony struck up a military march. Then the Wizard clucked to the Sawhorse and said: “Gid-dap!” and the wooden animal pranced away and drew behind him the big red wagon and all the passengers, without any effort at all. A servant threw open a gate of the palace enclosure, that they might pass out; and so, with music and shouts following them, the journey was begun.

  “It’s almost like a circus,” said Aunt Em, proudly. “I can’t help feelin’ high an’ mighty in this kind of a turn-out.”

  Indeed, as they passed down the street, all the people cheered them lustily, and the Shaggy Man and the Wizard and the Captain General all took off their hats and bowed politely in acknowledgment.

  When they came to the great wall of the Emerald City, the gates were opened by the Guardian who always tended them. Over the gateway hung a dull-colored metal magnet shaped like a horse-shoe, placed against a shield of polished gold.

  “That,” said the Shaggy Man, impressively, “is the wonderful Love Magnet. I brought it to the Emerald City myself, and all who pass beneath this gateway are both loving and beloved.”

  “It’s a fine thing,” declared Aunt Em, admiringly. “If we’d had it in Kansas I guess the man who held a mortgage on the farm wouldn’t have turned us out.”

  “Then I’m glad we didn’t have it,” returned Uncle Henry. “I like Oz better than Kansas, even; an’ this little wood Sawhorse beats all the critters I ever saw. He don’t have to be curried, or fed, or watered, an’ he’s strong as an ox. Can he talk, Dorothy?”

  “Yes, Uncle,” replied the child. “But the Sawhorse never says much. He told me once that he can’t talk and think at the same time, so he prefers to think.”

  “Which is very sensible,” declared the Wizard, nodding approvingly. “Which way do we go, Dorothy?”

  “Straight ahead into the Quadling Country,” she answered. “I’ve got a letter of interduction to Miss Cuttenclip.”

  “Oh!” exclaimed the Wizard, much interested. “Are we going there? Then I’m glad I came, for I’ve always wanted to meet the Cuttenclips.”

  “Who are they?” inquired Aunt Em.

  “Wait till we get there,” replied Dorothy, with a laugh; “then you’ll see for yourself. I’ve never seen the Cuttenclips, you know, so I can’t ‘zactly ‘splain ‘em to you.”

  Once free of the Emerald City the Sawhorse dashed away at tremendous speed. Indeed, he went so fast that Aunt Em had hard work to catch her breath, and Uncle Henry held fast to the seat of the red wagon.

  “Gently--gently, my boy!” called the Wizard, and at this the Sawhorse slackened his speed.

  “What’s wrong?” asked the animal, slightly turning his wooden head to look at the party with one eye, which was a knot of wood.

  “Why,
we wish to admire the scenery, that’s all,” answered the Wizard.

  “Some of your passengers,” added the Shaggy Man, “have never been out of the Emerald City before, and the country is all new to them.”

  “If you go too fast you’ll spoil all the fun,” said Dorothy. “There’s no hurry.”

  “Very well; it is all the same to me,” observed the Sawhorse; and after that he went at a more moderate pace.

  Uncle Henry was astonished.

  “How can a wooden thing be so intelligent?” he asked.

  “Why, I gave him some sawdust brains the last time I fitted his head with new ears,” explained the Wizard. “The sawdust was made from hard knots, and now the Sawhorse is able to think out any knotty problem he meets with.”

  “I see,” said Uncle Henry.

  “I don’t,” remarked Aunt Em; but no one paid any attention to this statement.

  Before long they came to a stately building that stood upon a green plain with handsome shade trees grouped here and there.

  “What is that?” asked Uncle Henry.

  “That,” replied the Wizard, “is the Royal Athletic College of Oz, which is directed by Professor H. M. Wogglebug, T.E.”

  “Let’s stop and make a call,” suggested Dorothy.

  So the Sawhorse drew up in front of the great building and they were met at the door by the learned Wogglebug himself. He seemed fully as tall as the Wizard, and was dressed in a red and white checked vest and a blue swallow-tailed coat, and had yellow knee breeches and purple silk stockings upon his slender legs. A tall hat was jauntily set upon his head and he wore spectacles over his big bright eyes.

  “Welcome, Dorothy,” said the Wogglebug; “and welcome to all your friends. We are indeed pleased to receive you at this great Temple of Learning.”

  “I thought it was an Athletic College,” said the Shaggy Man.

  “It is, my dear sir,” answered the Wogglebug, proudly. “Here it is that we teach the youth of our great land scientific College Athletics--in all their purity.”