Complete Works of L. Frank Baum

by L. Frank Baum

  “If you insist on conquering anyone,” said Shaggy, “you may march with me to the underground Kingdom of Ruggedo. To conquer the world, as you have set out to do, you must conquer everyone under its surface as well as those upon its surface, and no one in all the world needs conquering so much as Ruggedo.”

  “Who is he?” asked Ann.

  “The Metal Monarch, King of the Nomes.”

  “Is he rich?” inquired Major Stockings in an anxious voice.

  “Of course,” answered Shaggy. “He owns all the metal that lies underground — gold, silver, copper, brass and tin. He has an idea he also owns all the metals above ground, for he says all metal was once a part of his kingdom. So, by conquering the Metal Monarch, you will win all the riches in the world.”

  “Ah!” exclaimed General Apple, heaving a deep sigh, “that would be plunder worth our while. Let’s conquer him, Your Majesty.”

  The Queen looked reproachfully at Files, who was sitting next to the lovely Princess and whispering in her ear.

  “Alas,” said Ann, “I have no longer an Army. I have plenty of brave officers, indeed, but no private soldier for them to command. Therefore I cannot conquer Ruggedo and win all his wealth.”

  “Why don’t you make one of your officers the Private?” asked Shaggy; but at once every officer began to protest and the Queen of Oogaboo shook her head as she replied:

  “That is impossible. A private soldier must be a terrible fighter, and my officers are unable to fight. They are exceptionally brave in commanding others to fight, but could not themselves meet the enemy and conquer.”

  “Very true, Your Majesty,” said Colonel Plum, eagerly. “There are many kinds of bravery and one cannot be expected to possess them all. I myself am brave as a lion in all ways until it comes to fighting, but then my nature revolts. Fighting is unkind and liable to be injurious to others; so, being a gentleman, I never fight.”

  “Nor I!” shouted each of the other officers.

  “You see,” said Ann, “how helpless I am. Had not Private Files proved himself a traitor and a deserter, I would gladly have conquered this Ruggedo; but an Army without a private soldier is like a bee without a stinger.”

  “I am not a traitor, Your Majesty,” protested Files. “I resigned in a proper manner, not liking the job. But there are plenty of people to take my place. Why not make Shaggy Man the private soldier?”

  “He might be killed,” said Ann, looking tenderly at Shaggy, “for he is mortal, and able to die. If anything happened to him, it would break my heart.”

  “It would hurt me worse than that,” declared Shaggy. “You must admit, Your Majesty, that I am commander of this expedition, for it is my brother we are seeking, rather than plunder. But I and my companions would like the assistance of your Army, and if you help us to conquer Ruggedo and to rescue my brother from captivity we will allow you to keep all the gold and jewels and other plunder you may find.”

  This prospect was so tempting that the officers began whispering together and presently Colonel Cheese said: “Your Majesty, by combining our brains we have just evolved a most brilliant idea. We will make the Clockwork Man the private soldier!”

  “Who? Me?” asked Tik-Tok. “Not for a sin-gle sec-ond! I can-not fight, and you must not for-get that it was Rug-ge-do who threw me in the well.”

  “At that time you had no gun,” said Polychrome. “But if you join the Army of Oogaboo you will carry the gun that Mr. Files used.”

  “A sol-dier must be a-ble to run as well as to fight,” protested Tik-Tok, “and if my works run down, as they of-ten do, I could nei-ther run nor fight.”

  “I’ll keep you wound up, Tik-Tok,” promised Betsy.

  “Why, it isn’t a bad idea,” said Shaggy. “Tik-Tok will make an ideal soldier, for nothing can injure him except a sledge hammer. And, since a private soldier seems to be necessary to this Army, Tik-Tok is the only one of our party fitted to undertake the job.”

  “What must I do?” asked Tik-Tok.

  “Obey orders,” replied Ann. “When the officers command you to do anything, you must do it; that is all.”

  “And that’s enough, too,” said Files.

  “Do I get a salary?” inquired Tik-Tok.

  “You get your share of the plunder,” answered the Queen.

  “Yes,” remarked Files, “one-half of the plunder goes to Queen Ann, the other half is divided among the officers, and the Private gets the rest.”

  “That will be sat-is-fac-tor-y,” said Tik-Tok, picking up the gun and examining it wonderingly, for he had never before seen such a weapon.

  Then Ann strapped the knapsack to Tik-Tok’s copper back and said: “Now we are ready to march to Ruggedo’s Kingdom and conquer it. Officers, give the command to march.”

  “Fall — in!” yelled the Generals, drawing their swords.

  “Fall — in!” cried the Colonels, drawing their swords.

  “Fall — in!” shouted the Majors, drawing their swords.

  “Fall — in!” bawled the Captains, drawing their swords.

  Tik-Tok looked at them and then around him in surprise.

  “Fall in what? The well?” he asked.

  “No,” said Queen Ann, “you must fall in marching order.”

  “Can-not I march without fall-ing in-to it?” asked the Clockwork Man.

  “Shoulder your gun and stand ready to march,” advised Files; so Tik-Tok held the gun straight and stood still.

  “What next?” he asked.

  The Queen turned to Shaggy.

  “Which road leads to the Metal Monarch’s cavern?”

  “We don’t know, Your Majesty,” was the reply.

  “But this is absurd!” said Ann with a frown. “If we can’t get to Ruggedo, it is certain that we can’t conquer him.”

  “You are right,” admitted Shaggy; “but I did not say we could not get to him. We have only to discover the way, and that was the matter we were considering when you and your magnificent Army arrived here.”

  “Well, then, get busy and discover it,” snapped the Queen.

  That was no easy task. They all stood looking from one road to another in perplexity. The paths radiated from the little clearing like the rays of the midday sun, and each path seemed like all the others.

  Files and the Rose Princess, who had by this time become good friends, advanced a little way along one of the roads and found that it was bordered by pretty wild flowers.

  “Why don’t you ask the flowers to tell you the way?” he said to his companion.

  “The flowers?” returned the Princess, surprised at the question.

  “Of course,” said Files. “The field-flowers must be second-cousins to a Rose Princess, and I believe if you ask them they will tell you.”

  She looked more closely at the flowers. There were hundreds of white daisies, golden buttercups, bluebells and daffodils growing by the roadside, and each flower-head was firmly set upon its slender but stout stem. There were even a few wild roses scattered here and there and perhaps it was the sight of these that gave the Princess courage to ask the important question.

  She dropped to her knees, facing the flowers, and extended both her arms pleadingly toward them.

  “Tell me, pretty cousins,” she said in her sweet, gentle voice, “which way will lead us to the Kingdom of Ruggedo, the Nome King?”

  At once all the stems bent gracefully to the right and the flower heads nodded once — twice — thrice in that direction.

  “That’s it!” cried Files joyfully. “Now we know the way.”

  Ozga rose to her feet and looked wonderingly at the field-flowers, which had now resumed their upright position.

  “Was it the wind, do you think?” she asked in a low whisper.

  “No, indeed,” replied Files. “There is not a breath of wind stirring. But these lovely blossoms are indeed your cousins and answered your question at once, as I knew they would.”

  Chapter Nine

  Ruggedo’s Rage i
s Rash and Reckless

  The way taken by the adventurers led up hill and down dale and wound here and there in a fashion that seemed aimless. But always it drew nearer to a range of low mountains and Files said more than once that he was certain the entrance to Ruggedo’s cavern would be found among these rugged hills.

  In this he was quite correct. Far underneath the nearest mountain was a gorgeous chamber hollowed from the solid rock, the walls and roof of which glittered with thousands of magnificent jewels. Here, on a throne of virgin gold, sat the famous Nome King, dressed in splendid robes and wearing a superb crown cut from a single blood-red ruby.

  Ruggedo, the Monarch of all the Metals and Precious Stones of the Underground World, was a round little man with a flowing white beard, a red face, bright eyes and a scowl that covered all his forehead. One would think, to look at him, that he ought to be jolly; one might think, considering his enormous wealth, that he ought to be happy; but this was not the case. The Metal Monarch was surly and cross because mortals had dug so much treasure out of the earth and kept it above ground, where all the power of Ruggedo and his nomes was unable to recover it. He hated not only the mortals but also the fairies who live upon the earth or above it, and instead of being content with the riches he still possessed he was unhappy because he did not own all the gold and jewels in the world.

  Ruggedo had been nodding, half asleep, in his chair when suddenly he sat upright, uttered a roar of rage and began pounding upon a huge gong that stood beside him.

  The sound filled the vast cavern and penetrated to many caverns beyond, where countless thousands of nomes were working at their unending tasks, hammering out gold and silver and other metals, or melting ores in great furnaces, or polishing glittering gems. The nomes trembled at the sound of the King’s gong and whispered fearfully to one another that something unpleasant was sure to happen; but none dared pause in his task.

  The heavy curtains of cloth-of-gold were pushed aside and Kaliko, the King’s High Chamberlain, entered the royal presence.

  “What’s up, Your Majesty?” he asked, with a wide yawn, for he had just wakened.

  “Up?” roared Ruggedo, stamping his foot viciously. “Those foolish mortals are up, that’s what! And they want to come down.”

  “Down here?” inquired Kaliko.

  “Yes!”

  “How do you know?” continued the Chamberlain, yawning again.

  “I feel it in my bones,” said Ruggedo. “I can always feel it when those hateful earth-crawlers draw near to my Kingdom. I am positive, Kaliko, that mortals are this very minute on their way here to annoy me — and I hate mortals more than I do catnip tea!”

  “Well, what’s to be done?” demanded the nome.

  “Look through your spyglass, and see where the invaders are,” commanded the King.

  So Kaliko went to a tube in the wall of rock and put his eye to it. The tube ran from the cavern up to the side of the mountain and turned several curves and corners, but as it was a magic spyglass Kaliko was able to see through it just as easily as if it had been straight.

  “Ho — hum,” said he. “I see ‘em, Your Majesty.”

  “What do they look like?” inquired the Monarch.

  “That’s a hard question to answer, for a queerer assortment of creatures I never yet beheld,” replied the nome. “However, such a collection of curiosities may prove dangerous. There’s a copper man, worked by machinery — ”

  “Bah! that’s only Tik-Tok,” said Ruggedo. “I’m not afraid of him. Why, only the other day I met the fellow and threw him down a well.”

  “Then some one must have pulled him out again,” said Kaliko. “And there’s a little girl — ”

  “Dorothy?” asked Ruggedo, jumping up in fear.

  “No; some other girl. In fact, there are several girls, of various sizes; but Dorothy is not with them, nor is Ozma.”

  “That’s good!” exclaimed the King, sighing in relief.

  Kaliko still had his eye to the spyglass.

  “I see,” said he, “an army of men from Oogaboo. They are all officers and carry swords. And there is a Shaggy Man — who seems very harmless — and a little donkey with big ears.”

  “Pooh!” cried Ruggedo, snapping his fingers in scorn. “I’ve no fear of such a mob as that. A dozen of my nomes can destroy them all in a jiffy.”

  “I’m not so sure of that,” said Kaliko. “The people of Oogaboo are hard to destroy, and I believe the Rose Princess is a fairy. As for Polychrome, you know very well that the Rainbow’s Daughter cannot be injured by a nome.”

  “Polychrome! Is she among them?” asked the King.

  “Yes; I have just recognized her.”

  “Then these people are coming here on no peaceful errand,” declared Ruggedo, scowling fiercely. “In fact, no one ever comes here on a peaceful errand. I hate everybody, and everybody hates me!”

  “Very true,” said Kaliko.

  “I must in some way prevent these people from reaching my dominions. Where are they now?”

  “Just now they are crossing the Rubber Country, Your Majesty.”

  “Good! Are your magnetic rubber wires in working order?”

  “I think so,” replied Kaliko. “Is it your Royal Will that we have some fun with these invaders?”

  “It is,” answered Ruggedo. “I want to teach them a lesson they will never forget.”

  Now, Shaggy had no idea that he was in a Rubber Country, nor had any of his companions. They noticed that everything around them was of a dull gray color and that the path upon which they walked was soft and springy, yet they had no suspicion that the rocks and trees were rubber and even the path they trod was made of rubber.

  Presently they came to a brook where sparkling water dashed through a deep channel and rushed away between high rocks far down the mountain-side. Across the brook were stepping-stones, so placed that travelers might easily leap from one to another and in that manner cross the water to the farther bank.

  Tik-Tok was marching ahead, followed by his officers and Queen Ann. After them came Betsy Bobbin and Hank, Polychrome and Shaggy, and last of all the Rose Princess with Files. The Clockwork Man saw the stream and the stepping stones and, without making a pause, placed his foot upon the first stone.

  The result was astonishing. First he sank down in the soft rubber, which then rebounded and sent Tik-Tok soaring high in the air, where he turned a succession of flip-flops and alighted upon a rubber rock far in the rear of the party.

  General Apple did not see Tik-Tok bound, so quickly had he disappeared; therefore he also stepped upon the stone (which you will guess was connected with Kaliko’s magnetic rubber wire) and instantly shot upward like an arrow. General Cone came next and met with a like fate, but the others now noticed that something was wrong and with one accord they halted the column and looked back along the path.

  There was Tik-Tok, still bounding from one rubber rock to another, each time rising a less distance from the ground. And there was General Apple, bounding away in another direction, his three-cornered hat jammed over his eyes and his long sword thumping him upon the arms and head as it swung this way and that. And there, also, appeared General Cone, who had struck a rubber rock headforemost and was so crumpled up that his round body looked more like a bouncing-ball than the form of a man.

  Betsy laughed merrily at the strange sight and Polychrome echoed her laughter. But Ozga was grave and wondering, while Queen Ann became angry at seeing the chief officers of the Army of Oogaboo bounding around in so undignified a manner. She shouted to them to stop, but they were unable to obey, even though they would have been glad to do so. Finally, however, they all ceased bounding and managed to get upon their feet and rejoin the Army.

  “Why did you do that?” demanded Ann, who seemed greatly provoked.

  “Don’t ask them why,” said Shaggy earnestly. “I knew you would ask them why, but you ought not to do it. The reason is plain. Those stones are rubber; therefore they are not stones. Thos
e rocks around us are rubber, and therefore they are not rocks. Even this path is not a path; it’s rubber. Unless we are very careful, your Majesty, we are all likely to get the bounce, just as your poor officers and Tik-Tok did.”

  “Then let’s be careful,” remarked Files, who was full of wisdom; but Polychrome wanted to test the quality of the rubber, so she began dancing. Every step sent her higher and higher into the air, so that she resembled a big butterfly fluttering lightly. Presently she made a great bound and bounded way across the stream, landing lightly and steadily on the other side.

  “There is no rubber over here,” she called to them. “Suppose you all try to bound over the stream, without touching the stepping-stones.”

  Ann and her officers were reluctant to undertake such a risky adventure, but Betsy at once grasped the value of the suggestion and began jumping up and down until she found herself bounding almost as high as Polychrome had done. Then she suddenly leaned forward and the next bound took her easily across the brook, where she alighted by the side of the Rainbow’s Daughter.

  “Come on, Hank!” called the girl, and the donkey tried to obey. He managed to bound pretty high but when he tried to bound across the stream he misjudged the distance and fell with a splash into the middle of the water.

  “Hee-haw!” he wailed, struggling toward the far bank. Betsy rushed forward to help him out, but when the mule stood safely beside her she was amazed to find he was not wet at all.

  “It’s dry water,” said Polychrome, dipping her hand into the stream and showing how the water fell from it and left it perfectly dry.

  “In that case,” returned Betsy, “they can all walk through the water.”

  She called to Ozga and Shaggy to wade across, assuring them the water was shallow and would not wet them. At once they followed her advice, avoiding the rubber stepping stones, and made the crossing with ease. This encouraged the entire party to wade through the dry water, and in a few minutes all had assembled on the bank and renewed their journey along the path that led to the Nome King’s dominions.