Complete Works of L. Frank Baum

by L. Frank Baum

  The King shuddered as he said “eggs,” and Kaliko also shuddered, and so did the Long-Eared Hearer; for eggs are the only things that the nomes greatly dread. The reason for this is that eggs belong on the earth’s surface, where birds and fowl of all sorts live, and there is something about a hen’s egg, especially, that fills a nome with horror. If by chance the inside of an egg touches one of these underground people, he withers up and blows away and that is the end of him — unless he manages quickly to speak a magical word which only a few of the nomes know. Therefore Ruggedo and his followers had very good cause to shudder at the mere mention of eggs.

  “But Dorothy,” said the King, “is not with this band of invaders; nor is the Yellow Hen. As for Tititi-Hoochoo, he has no means of knowing that we are afraid of eggs.”

  “You mustn’t be too sure of that,” Kaliko warned him. “Tititi-Hoochoo knows a great many things, being a fairy, and his powers are far superior to any we can boast.”

  Ruggedo shrugged impatiently and turned to the Hearer.

  “Listen,” said he, “and tell me if you hear any eggs coming through the Tube.”

  The Long-Eared one listened and then shook his head. But Kaliko laughed at the King.

  “No one can hear an egg, Your Majesty,” said he. “The only way to discover the truth is to look through the Magic Spyglass.”

  “That’s it!” cried the King. “Why didn’t I think of it before? Look at once, Kaliko!”

  So Kaliko went to the Spyglass and by uttering a mumbled charm he caused the other end of it to twist around, so that it pointed down the opening of the Tube. Then he put his eye to the glass and was able to gaze along all the turns and windings of the Magic Spyglass and then deep into the Tube, to where our friends were at that time falling.

  “Dear me!” he exclaimed. “Here comes a dragon.”

  “A big one?” asked Ruggedo.

  “A monster. He has an electric light on the end of his tail, so I can see him very plainly. And the other people are all riding upon his back.”

  “How about the eggs?” inquired the King.

  Kaliko looked again.

  “I can see no eggs at all,” said he; “but I imagine that the dragon is as dangerous as eggs. Probably Tititi-Hoochoo has sent him here to punish you for dropping those strangers into the Forbidden Tube. I warned you not to do it, Your Majesty.”

  This news made the Nome King anxious. For a few minutes he paced up and down, stroking his long beard and thinking with all his might. After this he turned to Kaliko and said:

  “All the harm a dragon can do is to scratch with his claws and bite with his teeth.”

  “That is not all, but it’s quite enough,” returned Kaliko earnestly. “On the other hand, no one can hurt a dragon, because he’s the toughest creature alive. One flop of his huge tail could smash a hundred nomes to pancakes, and with teeth and claws he could tear even you or me into small bits, so that it would be almost impossible to put us together again. Once, a few hundred years ago, while wandering through some deserted caverns, I came upon a small piece of a nome lying on the rocky floor. I asked the piece of nome what had happened to it. Fortunately the mouth was a part of this piece — the mouth and the left eye — so it was able to tell me that a fierce dragon was the cause. It had attacked the poor nome and scattered him in every direction, and as there was no friend near to collect his pieces and put him together, they had been separated for a great many years. So you see, Your Majesty, it is not in good taste to sneer at a dragon.”

  The King had listened attentively to Kaliko. Said he:

  “It will only be necessary to chain this dragon which Tititi-Hoochoo has sent here, in order to prevent his reaching us with his claws and teeth.”

  “He also breathes flames,” Kaliko reminded him.

  “My nomes are not afraid of fire, nor am I,” said Ruggedo.

  “Well, how about the Army of Oogaboo?”

  “Sixteen cowardly officers and Tik-Tok! Why, I could defeat them single-handed; but I won’t try to. I’ll summon my army of nomes to drive the invaders out of my territory, and if we catch any of them I intend to stick needles into them until they hop with pain.”

  “I hope you won’t hurt any of the girls,” said Kaliko.

  “I’ll hurt ‘em all!” roared the angry Metal Monarch. “And that braying Mule I’ll make into hoof-soup, and feed it to my nomes, that it may add to their strength.”

  “Why not be good to the strangers and release your prisoner, the Shaggy Man’s brother?” suggested Kaliko.

  “Never!”

  “It may save you a lot of annoyance. And you don’t want the Ugly One.”

  “I don’t want him; that’s true. But I won’t allow anybody to order me around. I’m King of the Nomes and I’m the Metal Monarch, and I shall do as I please and what I please and when I please!”

  With this speech Ruggedo threw his sceptre at Kaliko’s head, aiming it so well that the Royal Chamberlain had to fall flat upon the floor in order to escape it. But the Hearer did not see the sceptre coming and it swept past his head so closely that it broke off the tip of one of his long ears. He gave a dreadful yell that quite startled Ruggedo, and the King was sorry for the accident because those long ears of the Hearer were really valuable to him.

  So the Nome King forgot to be angry with Kaliko and ordered his Chamberlain to summon General Guph and the army of nomes and have them properly armed. They were then to march to the mouth of the Tube, where they could seize the travelers as soon as they appeared.

  Chapter Fifteen

  The Dragon Defies Danger

  Although the journey through the Tube was longer, this time, than before, it was so much more comfortable that none of our friends minded it at all. They talked together most of the time and as they found the dragon good-natured and fond of the sound of his own voice they soon became well acquainted with him and accepted him as a companion.

  “You see,” said Shaggy, in his frank way, “Quox is on our side, and therefore the dragon is a good fellow. If he happened to be an enemy, instead of a friend, I am sure I should dislike him very much, for his breath smells of brimstone, he is very conceited and he is so strong and fierce that he would prove a dangerous foe.”

  “Yes, indeed,” returned Quox, who had listened to this speech with pleasure; “I suppose I am about as terrible as any living thing. I am glad you find me conceited, for that proves I know my good qualities. As for my breath smelling of brimstone, I really can’t help it, and I once met a man whose breath smelled of onions, which I consider far worse.”

  “I don’t,” said Betsy; “I love onions.

  “And I love brimstone,” declared the dragon, “so don’t let us quarrel over one another’s peculiarities.”

  Saying this, he breathed a long breath and shot a flame fifty feet from his mouth. The brimstone made Betsy cough, but she remembered about the onions and said nothing.

  They had no idea how far they had gone through the center of the earth, nor when to expect the trip to end. At one time the little girl remarked:

  “I wonder when we’ll reach the bottom of this hole. And isn’t it funny, Shaggy Man, that what is the bottom to us now, was the top when we fell the other way?”

  “What puzzles me,” said Files, “is that we are able to fall both ways.”

  “That,” announced Tik-Tok, “is be-cause the world is round.”

  “Exactly,” responded Shaggy. “The machinery in your head is in fine working order, Tik-Tok. You know, Betsy, that there is such a thing as the Attraction of Gravitation, which draws everything toward the center of the earth. That is why we fall out of bed, and why everything clings to the surface of the earth.”

  “Then why doesn’t everyone go on down to the center of the earth?” inquired the little girl.

  “I was afraid you were going to ask me that,” replied Shaggy in a sad tone. “The reason, my dear, is that the earth is so solid that other solid things can’t get through it. But wh
en there’s a hole, as there is in this case, we drop right down to the center of the world.”

  “Why don’t we stop there?” asked Betsy.

  “Because we go so fast that we acquire speed enough to carry us right up to the other end.”

  “I don’t understand that, and it makes my head ache to try to figure it out,” she said after some thought. “One thing draws us to the center and another thing pushes us away from it. But — ”

  “Don’t ask me why, please,” interrupted the Shaggy Man. “If you can’t understand it, let it go at that.”

  “Do you understand it?” she inquired.

  “All the magic isn’t in fairyland,” he said gravely. “There’s lots of magic in all Nature, and you may see it as well in the United States, where you and I once lived, as you can here.”

  “I never did,” she replied.

  “Because you were so used to it all that you didn’t realize it was magic. Is anything more wonderful than to see a flower grow and blossom, or to get light out of the electricity in the air? The cows that manufacture milk for us must have machinery fully as remarkable as that in Tik-Tok’s copper body, and perhaps you’ve noticed that — ”

  And then, before Shaggy could finish his speech, the strong light of day suddenly broke upon them, grew brighter, and completely enveloped them. The dragon’s claws no longer scraped against the metal Tube, for he shot into the open air a hundred feet or more and sailed so far away from the slanting hole that when he landed it was on the peak of a mountain and just over the entrance to the many underground caverns of the Nome King.

  Some of the officers tumbled off their seats when Quox struck the ground, but most of the dragon’s passengers only felt a slight jar. All were glad to be on solid earth again and they at once dismounted and began to look about them. Queerly enough, as soon as they had left the dragon, the seats that were strapped to the monster’s back disappeared, and this probably happened because there was no further use for them and because Quox looked far more dignified in just his silver scales. Of course he still wore the forty yards of ribbon around his neck, as well as the great locket, but these only made him look “dressed up,” as Betsy remarked.

  Now the army of nomes had gathered thickly around the mouth of the Tube, in order to be ready to capture the band of invaders as soon as they popped out. There were, indeed, hundreds of nomes assembled, and they were led by Guph, their most famous General. But they did not expect the dragon to fly so high, and he shot out of the Tube so suddenly that it took them by surprise. When the nomes had rubbed the astonishment out of their eyes and regained their wits, they discovered the dragon quietly seated on the mountainside far above their heads, while the other strangers were standing in a group and calmly looking down upon them.

  General Guph was very angry at the escape, which was no one’s fault but his own.

  “Come down here and be captured!” he shouted, waving his sword at them.

  “Come up here and capture us — if you dare!” replied Queen Ann, who was winding up the clockwork of her Private Soldier, so he could fight more briskly.

  Guph’s first answer was a roar of rage at the defiance; then he turned and issued a command to his nomes. These were all armed with sharp spears and with one accord they raised these spears and threw them straight at their foes, so that they rushed through the air in a perfect cloud of flying weapons.

  Some damage might have been done had not the dragon quickly crawled before the others, his body being so big that it shielded every one of them, including Hank. The spears rattled against the silver scales of Quox and then fell harmlessly to the ground. They were magic spears, of course, and all straightway bounded back into the hands of those who had thrown them, but even Guph could see that it was useless to repeat the attack.

  It was now Queen Ann’s turn to attack, so the Generals yelled “For — ward march!” and the Colonels and Majors and Captains repeated the command and the valiant Army of Oogaboo, which seemed to be composed mainly of Tik-Tok, marched forward in single column toward the nomes, while Betsy and Polychrome cheered and Hank gave a loud “Hee-haw!” and Shaggy shouted “Hooray!” and Queen Ann screamed: “At ‘em, Tik-Tok — at ‘em!”

  The nomes did not await the Clockwork Man’s attack but in a twinkling disappeared into the underground caverns. They made a great mistake in being so hasty, for Tik-Tok had not taken a dozen steps before he stubbed his copper toe on a rock and fell flat to the ground, where he cried: “Pick me up! Pick me up! Pick me up!” until Shaggy and Files ran forward and raised him to his feet again.

  The dragon chuckled softly to himself as he scratched his left ear with his hind claw, but no one was paying much attention to Quox just then.

  It was evident to Ann and her officers that there could be no fighting unless the enemy was present, and in order to find the enemy they must boldly enter the underground Kingdom of the nomes. So bold a step demanded a council of war.

  “Don’t you think I’d better drop in on Ruggedo and obey the orders of the Jinjin?” asked Quox.

  “By no means!” returned Queen Ann. “We have already put the army of nomes to flight and all that yet remains is to force our way into those caverns, and conquer the Nome King and all his people.”

  “That seems to me something of a job,” said the dragon, closing his eyes sleepily. “But go ahead, if you like, and I’ll wait here for you. Don’t be in any hurry on my account. To one who lives thousands of years the delay of a few days means nothing at all, and I shall probably sleep until the time comes for me to act.”

  Ann was provoked at this speech.

  “You may as well go back to Tititi-Hoochoo now,” she said, “for the Nome King is as good as conquered already.”

  But Quox shook his head. “No,” said he; “I’ll wait.”

  Chapter Sixteen

  The Naughty Nome

  Shaggy Man had said nothing during the conversation between Queen Ann and Quox, for the simple reason that he did not consider the matter worth an argument. Safe within his pocket reposed the Love Magnet, which had never failed to win every heart. The nomes, he knew, were not like the heartless Roses and therefore could be won to his side as soon as he exhibited the magic talisman.

  Shaggy’s chief anxiety had been to reach Ruggedo’s Kingdom and now that the entrance lay before him he was confident he would be able to rescue his lost brother. Let Ann and the dragon quarrel as to who should conquer the nomes, if they liked; Shaggy would let them try, and if they failed he had the means of conquest in his own pocket.

  But Ann was positive she could not fail, for she thought her Army could do anything. So she called the officers together and told them how to act, and she also instructed Tik-Tok what to do and what to say.

  “Please do not shoot your gun except as a last resort,” she added, “for I do not wish to be cruel or to shed any blood — unless it is absolutely necessary.”

  “All right,” replied Tik-Tok; “but I do not think Rug-ge-do would bleed if I filled him full of holes and put him in a ci-der press.”

  Then the officers fell in line, the four Generals abreast and then the four Colonels and the four Majors and the four Captains. They drew their glittering swords and commanded Tik-Tok to march, which he did. Twice he fell down, being tripped by the rough rocks, but when he struck the smooth path he got along better. Into the gloomy mouth of the cavern entrance he stepped without hesitation, and after him proudly pranced the officers and Queen Ann. The others held back a little, waiting to see what would happen.

  Of course the Nome King knew they were coming and was prepared to receive them. Just within the rocky passage that led to the jeweled throne-room was a deep pit, which was usually covered. Ruggedo had ordered the cover removed and it now stood open, scarcely visible in the gloom.

  The pit was so large around that it nearly filled the passage and there was barely room for one to walk around it by pressing close to the rock walls. This Tik-Tok did, for his copper eyes saw t
he pit clearly and he avoided it; but the officers marched straight into the hole and tumbled in a heap on the bottom. An instant later Queen Ann also walked into the pit, for she had her chin in the air and was careless where she placed her feet. Then one of the nomes pulled a lever which replaced the cover on the pit and made the officers of Oogaboo and their Queen fast prisoners.

  As for Tik-Tok, he kept straight on to the cavern where Ruggedo sat in his throne and there he faced the Nome King and said:

  “I here-by con-quer you in the name of Queen Ann So-forth of Oo-ga-boo, whose Ar-my I am, and I de-clare that you are her pris-on-er!”

  Ruggedo laughed at him.

  “Where is this famous Queen?” he asked.

  “She’ll be here in a min-ute,” said Tik-Tok. “Per-haps she stopped to tie her shoe-string.”

  “Now, see here, Tik-Tok,” began the Nome King, in a stern voice, “I’ve had enough of this nonsense. Your Queen and her officers are all prisoners, having fallen into my power, so perhaps you’ll tell me what you mean to do.”

  “My or-ders were to con-quer you,” replied Tik-Tok, “and my ma-chin-er-y has done the best it knows how to car-ry out those or-ders.”

  Ruggedo pounded on his gong and Kaliko appeared, followed closely by General Guph.

  “Take this copper man into the shops and set him to work hammering gold,” commanded the King. “Being run by machinery he ought to be a steady worker. He ought never to have been made, but since he exists I shall hereafter put him to good use.”

  “If you try to cap-ture me,” said Tik-Tok, “I shall fight.”

  “Don’t do that!” exclaimed General Guph, earnestly, “for it will be useless to resist and you might hurt some one.”

  But Tik-Tok raised his gun and took aim and not knowing what damage the gun might do the nomes were afraid to face it.

  While he was thus defying the Nome King and his high officials, Betsy Bobbin rode calmly into the royal cavern, seated upon the back of Hank the mule. The little girl had grown tired of waiting for “something to happen” and so had come to see if Ruggedo had been conquered.