Complete Works of L. Frank Baum
Page 874
The author and illustrator of “Father Goose” have had no intent to imitate or parody the famous verse and pictures of “Mother Goose.” They own to having followed, in modern fashion, the plan of the book that pleased children ages ago--and still pleases them. These are newer jingles and pictures for children of to-day, and intended solely to supplement the nursery rhymes of our ancestors.
Father Goose
Old Mother Goose became quite new,
And joined a Woman’s Club;
She left poor Father Goose at home
To care for Sis and Bub.
They called for stories by the score,
And laughed and cried to hear
All of the queer and merry songs
That in this book appear.
When Mother Goose at last returned
For her there was no use;
The goslings much preferred to hear
The tales of FATHER GOOSE.
Why?
Why does the doggy bark, papa,
Why does the doggy bark?
The reason why,
if you must know,
Is that the little
dog can’t crow,
And so he has to bark.
Why does the rooster crow, papa?
Why does the rooster crow?
The reason why
I’ll tell to you;
Because the rooster
cannot mew,
And so he has to crow.
Why does the kitten mew, papa,
Why does the kitten mew?
The reason why
I’m forced to say
Is that the kitten
Can not bray,
And so she has to mew.
Why does the donkey bray, papa,
Why does the donkey bray?
The reason for
the donkey’s bray
Is that the beast
was born that way,
And so, he has to bray.
Did You Ever See a Rabbit?
Did you ever see a rabbit climb a tree?
Did you ever see a lobster ride a flea?
Did you ever?
No, you never!
For they simply couldn’t do it, don’t you see!
Did you ever see a fire burn with snow?
Did you ever climb a ladder down below?
Did you ever?
No, you never!
For these things cannot happen, don’t you know?
Did you ever see a ship sail on the land?
Did you ever hold a mountain in your hand?
Did you ever?
No, you never!
For it really can’t be done, you understand.
To Walk Jim Jones
To walk Jim Jones was not contented,
And so an air-ship he invented;
He sailed away
One Summer day
And people say
He won’t return very soon,
For Jim Jones sailed up to the moon.
Clockwork Man
Now, once I owned a funny man,
A clockwork was inside him;
You’d be surprised how fast he ran
When I was there beside him.
He was the pride of all the boys
Who lived within our town;
But when this man ran up a hill
He always would run down!
Tick Tock
“Tick-Tock!
Tick-Tock!”
Don’t you hear our friend
the clock?
With his pendulum so swinging
All the day he’s softly singing
“Tick-Tock!”
Tick-Tock!”
Can’t you hear our friend
the clock?
This Bold Boy
This bold boy had done no wrong;
His hair had simply grown too long.
So Auntie placed the bowl just so
To see how far the shears could go.
Now the boy is full of glee;
His hair is nicely cut, you see;
And Auntie gives her head a bob,
To see how well she did the job.
There Was a Goose
There was a Goose in Syracuse
And full of fun was he;
He met a Clown and bought his gown
And thought a clown he’d be.
But for his jokes the little folks
Had very little use:
And when the Clown
danced up and down
They thought he was a Goose!
Mister Jinks
Have you seen Mister Jinks, Mister Jinks, Mister Jinks,
Have you seen him when he’s walking down the street?
He nods and then he winks
And most everybody thinks
That is smile is really beautiful and sweet.
Have you seen Mister Jinks, Mister Jinks, Mister Jinks,
Have you seen him when he’s walking down the lane?
He’s full of fun and folly,
He’s round and fat and jolly,
And we’re always glad to see his face again.
Little Barelegs Runs
Little Barelegs runs
and races all the day;
Birds and butterflies
she chases far away.
In the brook she wades, and wishes
She could hook the little fishes
Just to cook them in her dishes while at play.
Who’s Afraid?
Who’s afraid?
Ev’ry Goblin, known of old,
Perished years ago, I’m told.
Ev’ry Witch, on broomstick riding,
Has been burned or is in hiding.
Burglars dare not venture near
When they know that papa’s here.
Lions you now only see
Caged in the menagerie.
And the Grizzly Bear can’t hug
When he’s made into a rug--
Who’s afraid?
The Cats They Sit
The cats they sit upon the fence
At night,
And show they hav’n’t any sense
Of right,
By making such a noise
They wake the girls and boys
And caterwaul till they commence
To fight.
A Sailor from China
There once came a sailor from China,
And he fell in love with Aunt Dinah.
And he laughed till he cried
And he cried till he sighed:
“Oh , why wont you have me, Aunt Dinah?”
Then you should have heard old Aunt Dinah
Reply to this sailor from China,
Saying “Sir don’t you see
I could never agree
With a sailor that once
lived in China.”
If Johnny Had No Eye
If our Johnny had no eye
Not a single thing he’d spy;
If our Johnny had no nose
He could never smell the rose;
If our Johnny had no ear
Not a thing could Johnny hear;
And his mouth is made to talk,
And his feet are made to walk
‘Tis no wonder that I say
Johnny’s made a funny way!
Sally Dance
Have you seen little Sally
Dance the Ostrich Dance?
The dainty way she does it
Will surely you entrance.
With the left foot here,
And the right foot there,
And the ostrich feathers waving
In her golden hair:
She’s Surely very charming--
You’ll see it at a glance--
When little Sally dances
In the Ostrich dance.
Old Mister Micklejohn
Old Mister Micklejohn
Had a leg of hickory on;
He went hippity,
He went hopp
ity,
Hip,
hip,
hop,
To the baker’s shop.
Bought a loaf and ate it up,
Bought some tea and drank a cup.
Then went hippity,
Hip,
hip,
hoppity,
Home again from the
baker’s shop.
Baby Found a Feather
Baby found a feather in the hall;
Baby saw the masks upon the wall;
She tickled first a chin
Till it began to grin,
And wondered why the other one did bawl.
Jack Lantern
A pumpkin in pies
We all of us prize;
And surely
no pumpkin
a boy would
affright.
But a jack-lantern light
Is a terrible sight
And scares all the children
that walk out at night.
A Bumble Bee
A Bumble-Bee was buzzing
On a yellow holly-hock
When came along a turtle
Who at the be did mock.
Saying, “prithee, Mr. Bumble,”
Why make that horrid noise?
It’s really distracting,
And every one annoys.”
“I’m sorry,” said, quite humble,
The buzzing, droning Bee,
“The noise is just my bumble,
And natural, you see.
And if I didn’t buzz so,
I’m sure that you’ll agree
I’d only be a big fly,
And not a Bumble-Bee.”
Grandpa’s Head
Grandpa’s head is rather bald,
Bald the baby’s too;
Grandpa has n’t many teeth,
Baby has a few.
Grandpa sits within his chair
All the live-long day,
Watching baby sitting there
Busy at his play.
Uncle Dick Gave Me a Dolly
Uncle Dick gave me a dolly,
Funny doll, as you can see;
‘Twas an Injun, so he called my
Dolly “Ab-or-rig-i-ne.”
Dolly’s made of rags and
patches,
Can’t be broke by girls
like me;
So I think he’ll last
Forever--
Funny “Ab-o-rig-i-ne.”
Captain Bing
Captain Bing was a Pirate King,
And sailed the broad seas o’er;
On many a lark he sailed his bark
Where none had sailed before,
And filled his hold so full of gold
That it would hold no more.
The sea was smooth, and so, forsooth,
They took a bit of leisure,
And all the crew. good men and true
A hornpipe dance for pleasure
And had their fling, while Captain Bing
Kept watch above the treasure.
The wind it blew, and all the crew
Were sorry that it blew so;
If they were wrecked they might expect
To share the fate of Crusoe,
And ride the spars like jolly tars--
All shipwrecked men must do so.
The gale it roared, and all on board
Began to say their prayers,
And Captain Bing commenced to sing,
To drown his many cares
But when he found that he had drowned,
It took him unawares.
I Had a Dog
I had a dog
whose head was red.
He always slept
upon his bed.
He always ate
what he was fed
And barked when-e’er
a word was said.
Little Tommy Toddlekin
Little Tommy Toddlekin,
He fell Down and bumped his shin;
Hurt him sadly.
Cried quite badly,
Now his shin is well again.
Organ Grinder
Have you seen the
Organ Grinder
With a monkey
on a string?
He stands upon the sidewalk
And makes the music ring.
And all the little children
Around him dance and play
And have a merry time
Before he goes away.
The monkey climbs the houses
To windows everywhere,
And gathers all the pennies
The children have to spare.
Master Bunny
Master Bunny
looks so funny
When he’s sitting at his ease.
Little Dick
declares the trick
Any audience will please.
Mr. Green
Oh, have you seen Mr. Green?
He is neither fat nor lean,
Laughs and cries
Smiles and sighs
Eats and drinks
Reads and thinks.
Coughs and sneezes
When he pleases
Walks and ambles,
Skips and gambols,
Slumbers deep
When asleep,
Tears his clothes
Where ‘ere he goes,
Always found where he is seen--
Funny man is Mr. Green!
Elephant
An elephant to a city went--
Poor old elephant!
And lived his life beneath a tent,
Eating, drinking, thinking, blinking,
With his trunk chain a-clinking,
Dreaming of the jungle cool,
Juicy leaves and rippling pool--
Poor old elephant!
Kitty Klymer
Kitty Klymer had a dress.
Gingham dress, all white and blue;
Tried to pick a water-cress,
Tore her dress an inch or two!
Home she ran, and in distress
Took a thread and needle, too,
Neatly mended her torn dress--
Now it is as good as new.
Lee-Hi-Lung-Whan
Lee-Hi-Lung-Whan
Was a little Chinaman.
Wooden shoes with pointed toes,
Almond eyes and tiny nose.
Pig-tail long and slick and black,
Clothes the same both front and back.
Funny little Chinaman,
Le*-Hi-Lung-Whan.
*Corrected in the sixth edition, but remains in The Songs of Father Goose.
Little Nigger Boy
There was a little nigger boy
Hadn’t any shoes;
He heard his mammy shoo the hens
And saved the shoos to use.
There was a little nigger boy
Hadn’t any hat;
He wore instead a cabbage leaf,
It was so big and flat.
There was a little nigger boy
Hadn’t any collar;
And when the copper collared him
Nigger boy did holler.
There was a little nigger boy
Hadn’t any hose;
He bought a pear, but couldn’t wear
It as you may suppose.*
There was a little nigger boy
Hadn’t any coat;
So he tried to borrow one
From a nanny goat.
*This stanza replaces the original third in the sixth edition.
John Harrison Hoy
John Harrison Hoy
Was a cute Yankee boy,
With a face that was freckled and red;
“Each American boy
Is a King,” said young Hoy,
“For a crown always grows on his head.”
Polly Wants a Cracker
“Polly wants a cracker!”
The parrot loud did shout.
“Here’s a
cracker, Polly,”
Said little Dickey Stout.
Poll took the cracker quickly,
Not knowing it was loaded,
But while she held it tightly
It suddenly exploded.
Polly gave an awful cry
Of mingled pain and rage.
She flew away from Dickey
And hid within her cage.
Baby Pulled the Pussy’s Tail
Baby pulled the pussy’s tail--
Naughty boy!
Pussy gave a painful wail
Struggle hard without avail;
Still the baby pulled her tail--
Naughty boy!
Pussy raised her little paw--
Angry cat!
Gave the baby’s face a claw!
Scratched his cheek till it was raw--
Awf’lest scratch you ever saw--
Think of that!
Patsy Bedad
Patsy Bedad
Was a bright Irish lad
Who loved to work hard at his ease;
“When I grow up,” said he,
“I’ll a gentleman be,
For then I shall join the Police.”
Caterpillar
I knew a Caterpillar
Which crawled to see a miller,
To ask if he would deign
To sell a load of grain.
But when he came to buy
He became a Butterfly,
So he couldn’t use the grain
And he flew away again.
Ding a Ling
Ding-a-ling-a-ling-ling!
Can’t you hear the bell ring?
First the man who sells the milk,
Then a lady dressed in silk,
Next a beggar asking bread,
Glad to work when he is fed;
Ting-a-ling-a-ling-ling!
Can’t you hear the bell ring?
Now the gas man after money,
Then a peddlar peddling honey;
Then a plumber, then a drummer,
Selling books to read in summer,
Ting-a-ling-a-ling-ling!
Can’t you hear the bell ring?