Shadow on the Highway

by Deborah Swift

  Margery said, ‘They say young Lady Katherine’s gone stark mad anyway. Is it true? Henshaw, the servant who came from there, says Lady Katherine ripped all the paintings off the walls and the drapes from the windows and wanders about in only her shift.’

  Kate was so taken aback that she could not speak.

  I could not resist. ‘It’s all true, every word,’ I said. ‘There’s only three of us servants there now, and the stable boys will only come in the daylight hours because they’re frightened of what Lady Katherine might do at night –’

  My mistress had recovered; she looked at me archly. ‘Yes. We have to lock our doors, and sometimes after dark we can hear her growling and scrabbling to get in –’

  The young woman’s eyes had grown round and wide, ‘Really?’

  Lady Katherine realised she was on the edge of going too far. ‘Anyway, she wouldn’t notice if we were to meet in the barn. It’s far from the house. The only person to watch out for is my…the manservant Mr Grice. Nothing gets past him and his servants. But he can’t walk far because of his bad foot. And there are no other staff.’

  We ate then, and I worried about whether Ralph would agree to them meeting at Markyate Manor. I fidgeted, restless, my legs wanting to run away from the dilemma. If I told Ralph who Kate really was then she would certainly dismiss me and I would have lost the only job I ever had. If I didn’t tell him, then he’d want to meet at the Manor right under the noses of the gentry he was so set against.

  *

  When the men returned from Winstanley they were subdued.

  ‘Well?’ Margery waited for Ralph to speak.

  ‘He gave us his blessing,’ Jacob said, ‘but he won’t join us.’

  I could see Ralph’s disappointment in the set of his head and shoulders.

  ‘But good news, Ralph. Kate here has found us a place to meet.’ The young woman smiled at Kate. ‘We’ll not be giving up, will we? My Will didn’t lose his life fighting the King for nothing, did he?’

  ‘No, Susan, he did not.’ Ralph braced his shoulders and stuck out his chin. ‘We’ll not let it discourage us, we’ll go ahead all the same. Maybe Winstanley will change his mind when he sees how our community grows and thrives. And now Kate’s found us a meeting place.’ He gave her a dazzling smile. ‘It must be a good omen!’ He began to sing,

  ‘The poor long

  have suffered wrong,

  By the Gentry of this Nation…’

  I loved to watch singing, to see the words stretched into shapes like skins. Soon the rest of the party were joining in the song, swaying together, arms about each other’s shoulders, except Jacob who looked mighty uncomfortable. Like me, he probably couldn’t sing a note. Lady Katherine was looking at the ground uncertain what to do, but Ralph lay his arm across her shoulder and soon she and I were enfolded into the group as they sang;

  ‘…And then we shall see

  Brave Community,

  When Valleys lie level with Mountains.’

  When they’d done, there was a cheer of jubilation and shaking of fists. Ralph let go and Kate looked modestly down at her feet.

  I despaired. I did not know how to stop my brother, how to tell him that he and his friends the Diggers were playing right into Royalist hands.

  *

  I could not speak to Lady Katherine all the way back. When we arrived at the barn the sun was low in the sky.

  ‘We’d best be quick. Mr Grice might be back from inspecting the farms and he won’t like us being out after dusk.’ Kate was already down to her shift, and thrusting my skirts into a bag.

  After a moment I could stand it no more and asked, ‘Why? Why do you want the Diggers meeting on your land? What will you do to them?’

  ‘Do to them?’ She paused, puzzled, with her bodice in her hands.

  ‘Yes. I know you will wait until they are gathered and then send Mr Grice or your menfolk after them.’

  ‘No. You’re wrong. You don’t understand.’ She leaned towards me, serious. ‘I want them here. I know how it feels to be dispossessed. I know what it feels like to be beaten for no real reason.’

  ‘But what about your husband, and Mr Grice?’

  ‘I hate them all.’ Her eyes lit up with a dark intensity. ‘You don’t know how good it feels to pull the wool over their eyes. I love the idea that the very people they want to fight are plotting right here. They call it their land, but really it is mine – from my mother’s estate. And I shall have on it whom I choose. Besides, do you think I have no heart? I can see your brother is a fine man, and the Diggers are good people who only want to live in peace.’

  She turned for me to lace her up. When it was done I asked, ‘Will you tell them then, who you are?’ I was hopeful.

  ‘No.’ She shrugged her shoulders at me. ‘I like being Kate. I don’t want to go back to being Lady Katherine. They’ll hate me then. As long as you keep quiet, nobody need know.’

  ‘No. Please don’t ask me to. I can’t. I can’t lie to Ralph like that.’

  ‘You will do as I ask.’ The proud Lady Katherine was back.

  I bridled under her command, fear for my brother making me instantly mutinous. ‘I’m not taking orders. Not with you dressed in my kitchen coif.’

  Her hand flew to her head. I saw the annoyance flit over her face. She pulled off the cap and placed it deliberately on the hay bale between us. It was a challenge and I took it.

  ‘If you make me lie to Ralph, I’ll find another position,’ I said.

  She looked up at me with calculating green eyes. ‘Not without a reference, you won’t.’

  9. Gloves and Mud

  Since Sir Simon and Sir Thomas had gone, I was allowed back to sleep in my own room. That night I lay in my bed in the flickering candlelight, and tussled the dilemma in my mind. I could not believe I’d dared to talk back to my mistress the way I had. It was because of her being dressed as a servant. It had me all confused.

  But what if I left and got no recommendation from Lady Katherine? Then the chances of me working again were slim, even if I wasn’t deaf. Everyone set great store by their reference papers and to have none marked you out as a lazy or dishonest worker. I realised that a spat with Lady Katherine could affect my prospects for life – an uneasy thought. I would just have to buckle down and keep my place here, there was no other way.

  I turned over, but I still could not sleep. I stood and went to the window where a pale moon flitted between the clouds. I would have to do as my mistress said and go along with it – let the Diggers meet here at the Manor and say nothing about who Kate really was.

  A movement near the trees caught my attention. A glint of metal, a flash of something white. I peered out but the moon disappeared behind the clouds. I was just beginning to think I’d imagined it and was about to turn away when the moon sailed out from the clouds and I saw a man leading her ladyship’s horse past the house. I was sure it was her horse because of his white blaze. The man was cowled and had a dark hat pulled low on the forehead. I watched them pass, and something about the man’s furtive manner, the way he glanced to right and left, made me think he shouldn’t be there – perhaps it was one Grice’s men, or one of the stable-lads. What a cheek, riding out on her ladyship’s horse without her knowledge.

  The next day I asked her about it. ‘Beg your pardon, but I saw a man riding out on Blaze last night, very late. I thought I should tell you, Milady.’

  Her eyes opened very wide, before she said decisively, ‘No. You must be imagining it.’

  ‘I saw it, clear as anything. It was a bright moon and I –’

  ‘You’re mistaken. There’s an end of it.’

  But I knew what I had seen, and something about her reaction bothered me.

  It was not the first time I had noticed something and Lady Katherine had told me I was wrong. The first time was when I found my mistress’s glove lying on the grass by the stable as I went to fetch water from the well. I noticed it because I had definitely folded both her glove
s away in her trunk myself, only the night before. I picked it up, puzzled, and examined it. It was still early and Lady Katherine was slow to waken that morning, despite me bringing her a jug of cold water to wash with.

  ‘Look, I just found your glove,’ I said, holding it up before her face, ‘over by the stable. I wonder how it got there.’

  ‘I don’t know,’ she said, sleepily. ‘I must’ve dropped it yesterday.’

  ‘But I put it away last night. Have you got two pairs?’

  ‘No.’ Now she sat up, awake, watching me. ‘You must have forgotten, I don’t know how it got there.’

  I sensed something wary in her attitude, and the way she stared at my face. And she looked tired, there were dark circles under her eyes.

  A few days later I found the brooch lying under her mirror on her dressing table. It was the one Lady Ann had been wearing when she came to dinner. I’d noticed the brooch particularly because it was shaped like a thistle with a large purple stone set in it, and I remembered thinking the stone was so large it could not possibly be real.

  ‘Lady Ann has left her brooch,’ I said.

  ‘No. It’s mine,’ Lady Katherine said, plucking it up quickly from where it lay.

  ‘But Lady Ann had one just like it –’

  ‘You’re mistaken,’ she said.

  ‘Yes milady,’ I said, knowing I wasn’t. ‘Are you going to wear it?’

  ‘No.’ She was sharp, but then she said, ‘Not today.’ And she pushed it away to the bottom of the marquetry box where she kept her trinkets.

  I remember thinking it was strange. So that was the second thing.

  They say things run in threes, and I didn’t have to wait long for the third.

  When I woke the next day it was a beautiful day, but unseasonably hot and airless. There had been a welcome downpour in the night and now the sun was making the fields steam. I thought I would open the windows and doors to let a little air through, so I went into Thomas’s adjoining room to throw open the windows. As I walked across I saw that his lordship’s tallboy was open and I went over to shut it. His black wool cloak was dangling there from a hook, but the hem was damp and full of mud.

  I hesitated. It needed to dry out and be brushed. I pulled it out and lay it out on the chair, puzzling over it. As I did so, a pair of his breeches tumbled out and a shirt. All were damp. I put my nose to them, but they smelt fresh, not like a dampness that had been there for weeks. A faint scent tugged at my senses – cinnamon and rose, like the Lady Katherine, but it was so faint I did not know if it came from the cloak or my memory.

  As far as I knew, the men had not returned. So who had worn these? Pushed to the back of the shelf were a pair of Thomas’s boots, the mud still wet on the soles. I left them alone, but went downstairs to ask Mistress Binch if the men had been back.

  ‘No. I wish they would. It’s hardly worth cooking anything elaborate for just one. Lady Katherine and Mr Grice have to make do with servant fare when they are away, and it’s so dull making it.’

  I did not tell her why I asked.

  A few days later Lady Katherine asked me if I would clean his lordship’s riding clothes. ‘He will be home soon, and he must have forgotten to ask you to clean them. When they are done, you can put them away in his closet. And leave me the brushes, in case I should need to do my own shoes.’

  ‘But I’ll do them for you milady, you only need to ask –’

  ‘I would like to do them myself occasionally,’ she said. ‘It will amuse me, help me to feel more like a serving maid.’

  ‘Very good milady.’

  I was not taken in. My mistress certainly knew about the dirty riding clothes or she would not have asked me to clean them. Who took her horse at night? The stable boys? Was Lady Katherine allowing someone else to borrow her husband’s clothes?

  And now I had seen the evidence with my own eyes – someone was taking Blaze out at night, but it was someone Lady Katherine knew all about. Then why was I not to know? She made me feel stupid though I knew I wasn’t. I could not make sense of it, and in the end I ceased to try. My mother’s words came back to me – ‘a good servant must keep quiet and ask no questions’.

  And I had enough problems. Lady Katherine wanted to be Kate whenever a Digger’s meeting was called, and we had to get to the barn early and leave late so I could help her dress. It irked me every time, though I tried not to show it and to be a good servant. This was the fifth meeting they had had at the barn in as many weeks and every time my heart was in my mouth in case Mr Grice or his servants might catch us in the barn instead of strolling in the grounds, or in case any of the Diggers arrived early.

  The weather had turned warm and dry, so one of the double doors swung a little ajar to allow a breeze. Ralph had rallied support amongst his friends so the barn now held about fifteen people, mostly young men, but some women too, all animatedly discussing the plans for the new Digger community on Nomansland Common.

  ‘I hope we get more rain soon,’ Jacob Mallinson said, ‘or the planting will be hard. We’ll stand or fall by this first harvest.’

  ‘What do you think, Abi? Can you feel anything?’ Ralph mimed rain and raised his eyebrows questioningly. He always asked me because I was good at sensing changes in the air.

  ‘No rain yet. The air’s still as pondwater,’ I said.

  But despite this, I was restless, the straw bale I was sitting on prickled through my skirts. I was also spitting mad because Lady Katherine had made me sew a new coarse wool skirt and sleeves, and I had worked hard on them all week before realising they were for her, not for me. So there she sat in her new skirt and sleeves, drawing all the young men’s eyes and most especially the eyes of my brother.

  I looked at her now and the sight of her made me even more enraged. The fact she spoke little seemed to make her more alluring. Last week Ralph had said she was delightful – so shy and modest, just the way a maid should be. I felt like slapping him, and had to go away and howl my frustration by kicking at the stone gatepost. And wouldn’t you know, Jacob Mallinson saw me doing it, and he looked at me as though I had lost my reason.

  At the meeting there was talk of building four houses on the common, and everyone was assigned tasks or certain labours to do. I said I’d gather wood for the fires, and I was astonished when Kate volunteered to go with them to set up the kitchen by building a hearth and arranging a trestle for the pot. I simply could not imagine it, milady doing such work.

  ‘Your mistress seems very lax with her servants. That’s the third time in a month you have both had a half-day,’ Jacob said to me, and rubbed his neck, perplexed.

  ‘She is ill abed, and cares not what we do,’ Kate said, before I could answer.

  ‘But I heard she’s a hard taskmaster, isn’t that right, Abi? Abi had to scrub all the windows for hours last week until her hands were sore,’ Ralph said.

  A blush spread up Kate’s neck. ‘Our mistress does not mean to be so harsh, I’m sure.’

  ‘Never fear Kate, soon you’ll have no masters but the wind and weather,’ Ralph said.

  ‘Here’s to that day!’ Jacob slapped him on the back.

  I looked at Jacob in his neat breeches and white shirt. I could not imagine him living in a cob-built shelter. He had grown up in a fine brick house with his father, the elected constable of the village, and now he had a tithe cottage on the Fanshawe estate. He did not seem to fit into this rough labourer’s life. I couldn’t help but wonder if Jacob’s father knew of his son’s plans.

  It was agreed by all that we would go to the common at first light, and quietly, so that we would have order established before anyone at the village could prevent us.

  Dusk had fallen during our talking and I opened the door wider to catch some moonlight so as to see better what folk were saying. We were just finishing our business when I caught a wisp of movement near the door. Someone was listening. I jumped up and hurried to the door, and was just in time to see the white apron tails of Mistress Binch wh
isk around the side of the barn. I sprinted after her but she was quick as a hare and soon in behind the kitchen door.

  Fortunately we had all had our backs to her. What if she’d seen Lady Katherine? If she had, she might tell Sir Simon, and I’d be certain to be blamed for giving her my clothes. A knot of fear rolled in my stomach.

  I tugged at Kate’s sleeve, ‘Please milady –’

  Kate frowned, ‘Sssh!’ She was listening to a woman called Susan who was addressing the women.

  ‘Sorry. Mrs Binch was listening behind the door.’

  ‘What?’ Kate’s eyebrows shot up in alarm. ‘Did she see me?’

  ‘I don’t think so, but –’

  ‘What’s the matter?’ Ralph appeared.

  ‘The cook was spying on us,’ I said. ‘I don’t know how much she heard, but enough I‘d say, enough to guess your purpose.’

  He frowned. ‘Curses. Is she for us or against us?’

  ‘I don’t know, but she’ll likely tell Mr Grice, the overseer.’

  ‘What about Lady Katherine? Will she tell her?’

  ‘I doubt it,’ I said. ‘Mistress Binch hardly ever goes near her. She …well, she sends me to take messages if she needs to speak to her.’

  ‘It’s a blow. We hoped to keep it quiet until we had the houses up and smoke coming from the chimneys. They can’t stop us once the smoke’s rising, it’s an ancient bylaw. But it’s too late to do anything now. We’d better get away from here.’

  Ralph took Kate by the arm. They were in the shadow now, away from our lanterns. He whispered in her ear and they both laughed. Her expression was confiding, intimate. Then he lifted her hand to his lips and kissed it, before following the others who were hastening out of the door.

  I turned away, a cold feeling spreading across my chest. Kate watched him go, like a love-struck fool.

  When Jacob Mallinson caught me by the elbow I was distracted – angry with Kate and Ralph for shutting me out. Jacob said something, but it had got too dark to catch his words. Frustrated and bewildered by not being able to make out he was saying, I just shook my head.