Before (A Betwixt Novella #0.5) (Betwixt Series)

by Melissa Pearl

  I scoff and shake my head. So much for that theory.

  Like hell they didn't lie; I couldn't help wondering what else they've been lying to me about. I still couldn't believe they'd roped Rachel into the deal as well. I feel so betrayed right now I want to damage something. No, I want to call my sister and unleash verbal hell.

  I clamp my lips together as the school bell trills and I lope up the front steps. I'm kinda hoping I don't bump into Hugh or Jack. They'll only question me about why I split last night. I don't feel like talking about it, because I'm still trying to figure it out.

  I spot Luis down the corridor and make a quick left, weaving through the teenage traffic to get to my locker. By the time I go the long way around, the bell has rung and the hallways are practically empty.

  I fling my locker open. I'm in the process of searching for the English novel I was supposed to have finished when I hear a soft sniff. I peek behind me and notice Jasmine at her locker on the opposite wall. Her shoulders are slumped, her shiny dark hair hiding her face.

  I wait for another sniff to confirm she's crying before heading across to her.

  "Hey, Jazz," I figure starting softly is the best way to go. "You okay?"

  She nods, sniffing again and then quickly swiping at her face.

  "No you're not," I said smiling. Reaching for her shoulder, I give it a gentle squeeze. She's so small and petite. I think that's why I noticed her the first time. She's probably one of the shortest people at school. Everything about her is small and perfect. I noticed her my very first day and thought she was gorgeous. I smiled at her. She smiled at me...and then her boyfriend Dwight showed up, wrapped his arm around her and made it all too clear that she was unavailable.

  If she'd been free, I totally would have gone for it. She was too pretty and sweet to pass up. I don't know where I would have found the courage from. To be honest, the fact she was off limits made it easier to get to know her. We sat together in a couple of classes and always acknowledged each other in the hall. Yeah, I'd call us friends.

  "Do you want to talk about it?" I rub her arm.

  "No." Her head nods.

  I snicker. She looks up to reveal puffy eyes. For once in my life, I'm grateful that my mother continues to tuck a clean handkerchief into every pair of pants she washes. I used to pull it out in protest, but she's one stubborn woman. I hesitate for a second before pulling it from my pocket. I feel the heat rush to my face as I hold it out. She looks a little surprised by my grandpa move, but then her lips quiver with a smile. She takes the handkerchief with shaking fingers and delicately blows her nose. She mops up her tears and looks a little awkward as she hands it back to me.

  "Don't worry about it. I never use it anyway. My mom..." I trail off, burying it in my pocket and trying not to look as humiliated as I feel.

  "I won't tell." She grins. "I think it's sweet."

  I give her an awkward smile as I lean against her locker. I clear my throat and soften my expression. "So...what's up?"

  She sniffs and gives me a weak smile. "Dwight's being such a dick."

  "Oh bummer." Man, I so don't want to hear about her arrogant, jock boyfriend.

  "He's always with his friends, and never has time for me. I know I've been with him since last year, and it's stupid to think we'd ever last. I mean he's a senior. I still don't even know why he's into me!"

  "I do." I shrug with a blush.

  She grins before letting out a melancholy sigh.

  "When I tried to talk to him about it this morning, he just went on about how I suffocate him. I think he wants to break up with me."

  "Maybe there's something else to it." Why am I sounding so encouraging? She should totally ditch that loser. "Maybe you can try talking to him the next time it's just the two of you."

  "Yeah, you're probably right. I mean when we're alone, he's really sweet and attentive. I just can't seem to get him alone much anymore." Her lips wobble. "So I decided I should say my piece in front of everyone this morning, and it was so humiliating."

  I tuck her hair behind her ear and gently rub her fresh tears away with my thumb. "The guy would be a moron to dump you."

  She sniffs and gives me a sweet smile. "Thanks, Dale."

  Dabbing at her puffy face with her shirt sleeve, she lets out a breath and tries to straighten her shoulders. "I must look like such a mess."

  She did, but I'm not about to tell her that.

  "Want to get out of here?"

  A fleeting surprise rushes across her face, but it's followed by a relieved smile. "Yes."

  Before she can change her mind, I take her hand. Slamming my locker shut, I snatch up my bag, and we sneak out of school.

  We're giggling by the time we've raced out the back entrance and snuck through the teacher's car park. I'm not sure where to take her. I want it to be somewhere she can forget about her problems. We haven't talked much since breaching the school and walking down the road. We're still holding hands, and I love the feel of her skin against mine. I've wanted to hold her hand for a while now. I glance down at her and realize if I got the chance, I'd actually like to do a lot more than just hold her hand. She licks her lips and looks up at me.

  Her eyes light with cheeky mischief as she bites the corner of her mouth.

  "What?" I grin.

  "Is it true you crashed a car last night?"

  "No." I shake my head. "I didn't crash it. Jack did."

  She giggles. Squeezing my hand, she pulls me to a stop and points across the road. "I can't believe I'm about to say this, but do you feel like taking me for a drive...in that car."

  I glance across the street and spot the sleek, silver Camaro. Would I ever! As I always do in these moments, I feel my insides flush with warning, but I ignore my gut instinct, and pull her across the road.

  "Keep an eye out." She turns and scans the street while I reach into my bag for the tool Mason gifted me—a Slim Jim. A few moments later, I'm clicking the door open. "Get in."

  She jumps in and slumps down in her seat. I quickly hot wire the car. The engine revs to life and Jasmine squeals with excitement. "Go, go, go!" She laughs.

  The sound of her melodic delight, mixed with the rumbling engine is a heady rush. I ease out of the parking space and accelerate down the street.

  We head up the mountains, and I find a great little look out. Pulling the car to a stop, we gaze down over LA before looking at each other and smiling. Jasmine gets out and jumps onto the hood of the car. I quickly follow suit, leaning against the windshield. She notices this and leans back against me, lifting my arm, so she can snuggle against my shoulder. I brush her hair back with my chin and kiss the top of her head.

  "Feeling better?"

  "Yeah," she sighs, running her hand over my T-shirt.

  "I'm really sorry you're going through a crappy time. I know it must suck, and I know you probably don't care about my opinion, but you don't deserve to be treated like that."

  "I know," she sniffs. "But we've been together for a year and a half. I can't imagine being with someone else."

  "You're with me right now."

  She grins. "Yes, I am."

  "Jazz, you need a guy who's going to treat you like a queen. You're sweet and kind, and any guy would be lucky to have you."

  She looks up at me, and I kiss her nose. A perfect smile spreads across her face. "Thank you, Dale."

  I run my finger down her cheek and go to kiss her nose again, but she moves her head, and I find my lips touching hers. They feel soft and sweet, so different from Carly's. Jasmine's lips are pliable, not demanding and filled with hungry lust. I cup the back of Jasmine's head and deepen the kiss. Her mouth opens in response, and before I can stop myself, I pull her on top of me. She doesn't resist.

  Her little body pressing against mine makes me forget all my regrets from the night before. Man, I want this girl, and if she'd let me, I'd have her right here and now.

  I glide my hands up her tight thighs; her soft skin is driving me crazy. I wiggle
my fingers beneath her skirt, pushing it up her legs as I go.

  She pulls back with a little gasp, and I quickly retreat.

  "Sorry," I mumble. "You're just so beautiful." I touch the side of her face, running my fingers through her hair. I can sense her hesitation and am about to lift her off me, but then she smiles and leans towards me.

  "No, this is good. You're making me feel better."

  In other words, I'm a good distraction. I know this thought should sting, but I'm too amped to care right now. My body is demanding things my brain can't counter. I decide I'll analyze it later as I pull Jasmine's shirt over her head and quickly unclasp her bra.

  The cool breeze whistles against our skin. I can tell Jasmine must have done this before. She seems to know how it goes and isn't nervous. Her moans of pleasure tell me she's into it. I take my time, using some of the tricks Carly taught me. Jasmine is practically begging for it, by the time I finally satisfy her.

  As always, I feel the heady rush that comes with this moment, but this time it's amplified. We are out in the open, on a sunny day, doing it on the hood of a stolen car. I want to laugh with triumph. Not to mention the fact, I'm having sex with Jasmine, who I've liked for a long time now.

  Her sweet gasps of pleasure make me feel like a man as we finish. I lay my head back against the windshield as she slumps against my naked chest. Her hands glide up my torso, and we stay that way in blissful silence...and then I hear her sniff.

  I jerk up. "Are you okay?"

  "Yeah," she whispers.

  A few hot tears kiss my skin and I want to groan. What now?

  "I just...I mean I can't believe...I just cheated on Dwight."

  Way to kill the moment, Jazz.

  I gently lift her off me and turn away to get myself sorted. Man, I am such an asshole! Thankfully, I remembered to use protection this time, so that was one less thing to worry about, but it doesn't even matter. As I zip my jeans and throw on my shirt, I feel like total shit. I made one of the sweetest girls I know cheat on her boyfriend, not to mention the fact I cheated on Carly. Somehow that doesn't seem as important.

  Once again, I'd let sex rule the moment, and I hated myself for it.

  "Come on," I say quietly. "I'll take you back to school."

  She straightens her shirt and tucks her hair back, unable to look at me as she slides into the car.

  We drive back in silence. I want to apologize, but can't quite form the words. I mean, yeah, I really wanted her, but it's not like I forced her to do anything. I was ready to stop, but she kept things going. She was the one who put the condom on me! She was the one who pleaded with me to satisfy her. I only did what she asked me to do.

  I want to thump the wheel in disgust as I pull into the parking spot. I use my shirt to wipe down the steering wheel and handles. Hopefully, the person wouldn't even notice it was gone, but that's not the point.

  Jasmine and I creep away from the car and morosely walk back to school.

  The school is in sight when I finally mutter, "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have let things get that far."

  "It's okay. I'm sorry for crying. I didn't mean to make you feel bad. It was...Dwight and I have only done it a few times, and it hasn't gone that well. What we did today was like...amazing. I guess I just feel bad for having such an awesome time with you, when I should really be trying to make things work with my boyfriend."

  "Or you could just dump him." I grip the strap of my bag.

  She chuckles and shrugs. "I love him, Dale."

  I want to puke at her sweet words, but nod instead.

  Resting her hand against my chest, she lets out a breathy laugh. "At least what we did today was just sex. I mean it didn't mean anything, right?"

  My mouth is too dry to speak. Once again, I'm a little speck of dirt on the sole of someone's shoe. Just sex. Thanks a lot, Jasmine.

  I nod and use all my bravado to paste on a really big smile. "Just really good sex."

  She giggles.

  "If you ever do dump that loser, keep me in mind."

  Her face takes on a serious edge, her eyes glimmering with a soft smile. "Whatever happens with Dwight, what we did today will stay in my head forever. Our secret interlude that no one can touch."

  This makes me feel a little better. I rub her arm, grateful that she tried.

  "See you around, Dale."

  "Yep." I watch her walk away and wave back at her.

  At least I made her feel good. I hitch my bag higher onto my shoulder and slump into the school, wishing my little escape from my problems would actually make me feel better, but it only made things worse. All my problems from the night before consume me, weighing a ton and making me want to crumple to the floor.

  I can barely walk as I turn the corner and run straight into Principal Timmons.

  Chapter 8

  Well, my day officially sucked. Yes, even taking into account the awesome sex had on the hood of a Camaro. Principal Timmons dragged me into his office and read me the riot act. My grades were poor. I was skipping school. I constantly looked exhausted. He went on about his concerns with substance abuse. I tried to tell him I wasn't on anything, but I don't know whether he believed me or not.

  He then went one step further and on the spot, called my dad. I sat in huffing silence until twenty minutes later, my somber father slinked through the door.

  I was expecting some major anger vibes, but instead I got waves of sad disappointment, which are so much worse.

  After a brief discussion with the principal, I was sent back to class and told that I’d better be home straight after school. It was impossible to concentrate for the rest of the day. I spotted Jasmine last period, and she couldn't even look at me.

  I'm now walking up the path to my front door. The urge to turn and run is strong. I don't want to face my parents right now. I don't want another lecture, and I really don't want to be sent to live with my great-grandparents.

  I walk in to find Mom and Dad sitting at the dining table. Mom's been crying. Dad is holding her hand, his expression grave.

  "Sit down, son."

  I drop my bag to the floor and reluctantly head for the chair furthest from them. I go for my silent stare, which I know unnerves my mother. It works, and her gaze flutters to the table top.

  Dad presses his lips together then lets out a tired huff. "This isn't good enough, Dale. We raised you better than this."

  I roll my eyes and glare at the ceiling.

  "You look at me when I'm talking to you!" Dad's anger makes me grit my teeth. Here we go again. I take my time swallowing and very slowly drag my gaze towards him. The disappointment is not so strong. Now he just looks plain pissed...much easier to deal with. I smirk.

  Dad's eyebrows dip together, making his forehead crinkle out of shape.

  "What am I supposed to do with you? Do you know how people will be talking now? My own son is throwing his life away. How do you think that makes me look?"

  Really? That's what he's going with? How it looks!

  Anger sparks inside me as I sit up straight and clear my throat.

  "I don't give a shit about how it makes you look." My voice comes out thin and strained. Shaking my head, I can feel the bottle top starting to rattle. I usually take these lectures in morose silence, but not today. It's been so heinous I might as well finish it off by lumping steamy piles of dog turd over it as well. And after what I found out last night, they can screw their appearance. I'm not putting up with this shit anymore. "That's all you guys care about, isn't it? What people are going to say and think? To hell with them. It's not even about your damn church!"

  "Watch your mouth." Dad slams the table and I jump up, spinning on them in a rage.

  "You guys are full of it! Another lecture? Seriously? You're gonna slap me with that bullshit again?"

  Mom throws her hands in the air. "That's not what we're trying to do. We want to help you, Dale."

  "Really? Because all I usually hear is crap about how bad I am and how I need even m
ore rules dumped on me. You know what? It's not that helpful! And if you think grounding me and forcing me to go to church and hang out with those stupid youth group punks who think they're so holy because they talk to God everyday works? You're just as stupid as they are."

  I kick the chair leg with the toe of my Converse.

  "And then of course there's the icing on the cake." I slap my hands on the table like a drum roll and mimic my mother in the most mocking voice I can muster. "Oh Dale, we're so disappointed in your behavior. Why can't you be more like Rachel?"

  Mom's skin blanches and Dad's mouth drops open. "Dale—"

  "No, it's my turn. You don't get to talk today. You don't get to lecture, because you know what?" I press my finger into the table. "Like hell you are sending me to live with Mom's grandparents. She hates them. It's always been obvious. You guys don't have contact with hardly anyone from your past, and I now know why."

  Mom swallows, looking more than guilty. That is at least a little satisfying.

  "You've been lying to me this whole time. You don't have the right to tell me how to live when you guys were screwing in high school and not even smart enough to use protection."

  "That's enough, Dale." Dad points at me.

  "Yeah, whatever. You're such a hypocrite. Always talking as if you're holier than everybody else, but you're just as human as me. You don't care that I'm lost right now. You don't care that I can't figure out what I want or how I'm supposed to survive this life. All you care about is how it will look to your parishioners. What will they say about my kid? Will it tarnish my reputation? You know what, Dad? I don't give a shit about your reputation."

  Dad's lips pinch together, his skin mottling with angry hues of red.

  "I don't even care about your God. I don't want to know Him. Because all God means to me is rules. Rules and regulations. You talk about how you're praying for me, but what are you saying? Are you asking God to fix me so that I'll fall into line and be a good boy for a change? Because you should be asking God to help you love me, just as I am."