Role Play (Silhouette Studios)

by Katana Collins

  I stopped walking, and it took him two steps before he realized he left me behind. He spun, facing me, his eyes panicked and wide. Like he thought for hot second that I could leave him as he poured his soul for me. “So tell me,” I begged. “I want to know her. I want to know this amazing woman who captured your heart first.”

  He blinked, a rapid firing of eyelashes to cheeks. “Isn’t it too little too late?” There was a strange tone to his question. Almost like if I answered yes, it would give permission for him to walk away and not open up. This was about more than me and Ash coming together. This was his personal growth. I knew from the short amount of time we had had together, that him talking about Brie to anybody was a huge step. And I sure as hell wasn’t going to stop him. I cared too much about him. So was it too little too late? Maybe. I couldn’t lie to him. But I sure as hell wasn’t going to let him get off that easily.

  “I don’t believe in too little too late. I can’t tell you that by the end of this we’re going to drive off into the sunset together. But I can one hundred percent guarantee that by not telling me, you’re not even giving us that chance.”

  The lines around his eyes tightened, and after deep breath he said, “Well then, here goes nothing.”

  Thirty minutes later, and I’d heard so much about Brie. Ash and I sat on the park bench, side-by-side, my hand clutching his trembling fingers. I laughed when he told me about the time they egged her boss’s car together after he had fired her for not pretending to be his girlfriend at an event. It was one of those funny, not funny situations. My eyes misted as he told me about his proposal to her, on a hike up Runyon Canyon. How he packed a picnic of wine, cheese, and fruit that mimicked one of their early dates. How he had gotten down on one knee in the middle of the red dirt patch, and had asked her to be his wife. The engagement ring tucked into a small wooden box he had carved himself.

  Lifting my free hand, I touched my thumb to his damp, stubbled cheek. “Thank you for sharing this.”

  He lifted my hand, pressing his lips to my knuckles. “Brie was… sick. For years. Before I ever met her. She was obsessed with her weight. She suffered from eating disorders for as long as I knew her. Off and on, since she was fifteen.” He swallowed and I could hear how dry his mouth was. “A year or so into our marriage, Brie got pregnant. We were both so, so happy. It was sickening how happy we were together. But… the pregnancy weight triggered something in her. And I was so busy with work, I-I wasn’t paying attention. I didn’t mean to be so absent—I was just trying to work as hard as I could before the baby came so that I could be present and take time off after the birth.”

  His hand came down on the iron armrest of the bench, his grip so tensed, I could see his knuckles going white.

  Still clutching his hand, I gave him a reassuring squeeze. “If this is too hard, you don’t have to tell me. At least, not right now.”

  He shook his head, the sharp, staccato movement shaking the bench with it. “I don’t want to stop. I don’t want these words, this story, to control my life anymore.” And with another deep breath, he continued. “She was almost at the six-month mark, when her bulimia caused the miscarriage. We lost our little girl. And Brie sank into her depression. It was bad enough miscarrying. But add on top of that, postpartum depression and the fact that she blamed herself—hell, if I’m being honest, I blamed her a little bit, too. Which I will never forgive myself for. Maybe if I hadn’t added to her guilt, she never would have committed suicide.” The last sentence was said on a sob, and his fingers released my hand. Reflexively, he reached out to his pinky, looking to touch that ring. Her ring. But it wasn’t there.

  The muscles in my stomach twisted, like wringing laundry. I didn’t know what I expected, but that wasn’t it. I felt sick for Brie. For her pain. For Ash. For their unborn child.

  “Ash,” I said, gripping his knee. “Where is Brie’s ring?”

  With the heels of his hands, he wiped his face clean of any remaining tears. “I buried it in the spot where I proposed.” He looked over his shoulder, up toward Runyon Canyon.

  My throat dropped my stomach. Shock and guilt gnawed at my insides. “You what? Ash… why? Why would you do that?”

  Even though his tears had stopped, his eyes were raw and pained. “Because I have to move on. And I want to move on with you.”

  It was my turn to sob. It felt like a hand had just reached into my chest, cracked open my ribcage, and squeezed my heart. “I want to move on with you too,” I said. “But not like this. Moving on doesn’t mean stripping Brie from your life. It doesn’t mean not honoring the love you had.” I jumped to my feet, spinning to face him. My heart pounded, my blood racing through my veins. “All I wanted was for you to talk to me. To tell me what happened. Because if we are going to make this work, Brie will always be a part of this relationship.”

  Slowly, Ash raised his gaze to mine. His blue eyes, still wet and shiny. “It doesn’t make you mad? Jealous? That my love for her will always be a part of me? Because I can’t not love her. It doesn’t mean I love you any less, but—she will always be a part of my story. A part of my heart.”

  I dropped to my knees between Ash’s spread legs, and wrapped my hands around his. “I don’t want you to not love her. All I wanted was to get to know her… so that I can love her too.” The tears were streaming down my face now, but I made no moves to wipe them away.

  He cupped my face, drawing my lips to his. We met in a kiss so wild and passionate, that I couldn’t even say how long it lasted. I blinked my eyes open as it ended, seeing Ash through my moisture-ridden gaze. “I love you, Lucy Rodriguez,” Ash said, smiling for the first time since I’d run into him in the coffee shop.

  “I love you, too.” I laced my fingers into his, and tugged him toward the entrance of Runyon Canyon.

  “Where the hell are we going?” Ash asked, laughing as we made our way up the winding, dirt path. But there was a knowingness in his voice. Joggers sped by us because I’m apparently the slowest walker ever.

  “You’re taking me to your spot, and we’re getting Brie’s ring back before some douchebag with a metal detector finds it and pawns it away.”

  Ash’s grip on my hand tightened. “Oh, fuck. I didn’t even think about that.” Still holding on to my hand, Ash took the lead, speeding forward.

  Even though hiking was so not my thing, when we reached Ash and Brie’s picnic spot, it was breathtaking. I was worried it would feel like I was intruding on something. Like I was forcing my way into their story somehow.

  I dropped to my knees over the fresh mound of dirt that still had their initials carved into it, and with my hands I started digging. Ash was across from me, also digging. It only took us a few minutes before the tips of my fingers hit warm, gritty metal and I pulled out Brie’s ring, holding it up in the setting sun.

  Ash let loose a heavy sigh, his head falling back, eyes closed, nose pointed to the sky. I took his hand in mine, and slipped the ring back on his pinky.

  His lips curved, and he tilted his head, looking at me. “Thank you,” he said.

  I brushed my lips against his in a brief kiss. “I’m going to give you some time up here,” I said. “But when you’re done, meet me at my apartment?” I took a step back, prepared to hike back down the way I came. But Ash’s grip on my hand didn’t release. In fact, he held tighter, tugging me into his side.

  “Stay,” he said. “I still have half a bottle of wine, and almost the entire cheese plate. Stay and toast Brie with me.”

  “Are you sure?” I wanted to stay with him. More than anything. But I didn’t want to intrude.

  “More sure than anything.”

  I nodded. “Of course I’ll stay.”

  We sat, settling in on a small patch of dried grass, and Ash pulled out the various snacks and wine, pouring us each a glass. His movements stilled for second, and I followed his gaze to where it had locked on a small envelope peeking out of his backpack.

  He handed me one of the plastic cups fi
lled with wine and said, “Come back to work at Silhouette. Please. You belong in that costume department And I’m pretty sure Andrea and Kelly will kill me if you don’t.”

  I didn’t know how I felt about that. About going back to work with Ash. For Ash. “I-I want to. But, I’m worried. We broke up once and it was a disaster. I can’t do that again.”

  Ash sighed. “Think about it, at least? You belong on this film. If we get Oscar nods, you deserve to be there, receiving those awards, too.”

  “We need some ground rules then. And I need to make sure Erik has a replacement for me first. I have next week off, so maybe I’ll get lucky and he’ll find my replacement quickly.”

  “Good,” Ash said on an exhale. “Because I have a proposition for you. Come to Georgia next week on location, and after we’re done filming, I want to take you to Florida to the Crystal River…”

  The Crystal River? I recognized that name. It was one of the most famous places to…

  “… to swim with the manatees,” Ash finished. “I want to give you everything, Lucy. I want to help make all your dreams come true.”

  I laughed, popping to my knees, and threw my arms around Ash’s neck, not caring that some of the red wine sloshed over the side of the glass. “Well how can I say no to that?”

  He kissed the tip of my nose, and I sat back on my haunches. “That’s what I was hoping for.” Then he held out his wineglass to me and ,smiling, said, “Here’s to Scarlett the Manatee.”

  I shook my head, pulling my glass back before he could tap the edge to it. “No,” I said. “Here’s to Brie Livingston, your first love.”

  He blinked, not able to hide his surprise, then he nodded. “To my first love.” And after a moment’s pause, he added, “And also to you… my last love.” He tapped his glass to mine and we each took a sip.

  We sat back and I nestled into Ash’s chest, watching the sunset on the Los Angeles horizon. Somewhere in the back of my mind, a woman’s voice whispered, Take good care of him.

  I swallowed tightly, tears pricking my eyes. I will, Brie, I thought. I will.

  Epilogue

  Ash

  One year later…

  I tugged at the sleeves of the monkey suit I wore, cracked my neck to each side, hating how the stupid bowtie was just a tad too tight around my neck. A tray of champagne floated past me. I tucked the wrapped jewelry box beneath my arm and grabbed a flute, downing it one gulp as sweat pushed from my pores, then placing it quickly back on the tray before making my way up to the women’s dressing room.

  I paused in front of the door marked Bridal Suite and took a deep breath before lightly knocking on the door with the backs of my knuckles.

  From inside, I heard giggling, the clinking of glasses, and heels clicking across the floor. When the door cracked open, two big brown eyes peered at me from behind rectangle frames. “Ash?” Lucy asked through the crack in the door. “What are you doing here?”

  I grinned and held up the wrapped box that contained a diamond necklace. “Special delivery for the bride.”

  Lucy arched a brow and checked over her shoulder. “Everyone decent?”

  A choir of ‘yes’s’ chimed in from behind her and she opened the door wider. “Marly,” she said. “There’s a delivery for you.”

  I stepped slowly into the room, closing the door behind me and my eyes slowly descended Lucy’s body. The sleek gray evening gown hugged her curves in the most deliciously perfect way and I found myself wishing I wasn’t in a room full of Marly’s friends, but alone with my girl.

  Movement caught my eye as she licked her lips, ending with a nibble on that bottom lip of hers. “Ash,” she whispered, her blush creeping across her cheeks. She tucked a non-existent stray hair behind her ear. “Stop staring.”

  “I can’t,” I whispered in return and bent, taking her lips in a heated kiss that I felt in every inch of my body.

  She ended the kiss with a playful smack against my shoulder. “You’re not here to see me. You’re here for Marly.”

  I grinned and released my hold from around her waist, pausing momentarily to drag my fingers across the simple gold and platinum twisted chain she wore around her neck. Simple. Understated. Lightweight. The perfect piece of jewelry for a girl who hates jewelry.

  Lucy’s collar.

  She followed my touch, placing her delicate hand at her sternum and touching the necklace, too.

  I wasn’t sure I’d ever get over how gorgeous she was. It wasn’t that she was perfect—hell, neither of us was perfect. But she didn’t need to be perfect; because she was mine. Faults and all, she was all mine and I loved everything about her.

  Fisted in her hand, I saw her eyeglass case and I felt my brows drop, falling heavily between my eyes. “Are you wearing your contacts tonight?”

  Something pinched in my chest. I loved Lucy in her glasses. She was just as beautiful wearing them as she was wearing her contacts—but it was her choice. Always her choice how she wanted to dress up and present herself.

  “No,” she said, opening the case and pulling out a pair of tortoise shell glasses I’d never seen before. She switched her lenses, blinking from behind the cat-eye shaped frames. “These are new and I was debating wearing them instead.”

  Holy shit, she was sexy in those. Like a hot librarian from the 1950s. My eyes widened and I nodded. “Definitely wear those,” I said, my voice thicker, raspier than moments before.

  Her grin widened, her eyebrows twitching. “Yes, Sir.” Then her gaze slid to where Marly was standing in front of a floor-length mirror in her gown. Her best friend, Omar towered over her, helping set her veil in place. “Go,” Lucy said. “You’ve got best man duties to attend to and I have bridesmaid tasks at hand, too.”

  She blew me a quick kiss, then went back to helping Andrea button the back of her gown as well. It was amazing to me that all these women from our little film became such good friends—Marly, Andrea, Lucy, and even Kelly.

  I made my way across the room, and smiled at Marly, bending to kiss her cheek. “You look gorgeous.”

  “You clean up well, too, Ash,” she said in return, and smoothed her palm over the bodice of her dress.

  From behind her, Omar cleared his throat and I looked up, clasping his hand in a handshake. “You look good, too, Omar,” I said with a grin.

  Jokingly, he threw up his hand. “Well it wouldn’t hurt you to say it now and then.”

  Marly’s eyes dropped to the box I held in my hand and her eyebrows wiggled in a knowingly giddy way. “That for me?”

  “Maybe,” I said. “But, when I give this to you, all your bridesmaids are going to flock around you to see you open it, right?” I dropped my voice to a whisper.

  “Very plausible,” she said.

  “Then in that case, before that happens… is everything ready for the bouquet toss?”

  Her eyes flicked to Andrea across the room briefly before coming back to me. “It’s all set up,” she said.

  “But how can you be sure? It’s a toss, literally you’ll have no control if it goes to Lucy or not—”

  “Ash,” she whispered. “We’ve got this. All the girls are in on it and they’re going to put Lucy front and center, then step out of the way as the bouquet is tossed. She’ll be the only one in its path.”

  I breathed a sigh of relief. “Okay, good. Good.”

  “When are you popping the question?” Omar asked.

  I put my finger to my lips, shushing him. Even though he was whispering, his voice carried. “Back in our room after the reception.”

  Marly tilted her head to her shoulder. “Are you sure you don’t want to do it here at the party? That way we can all celebrate with you—”

  I cut her off, chuckling. “No way. I’m not hijacking yours and Jude’s big day.” Not to mention, a big spectacle like that? It just wasn’t Lucy. She wouldn’t want a big fancy speech into a microphone with a crowd of people she didn’t know around us watching as I proposed. I knew my girl. “I just need
her to catch the bouquet so that I can use it as the catalyst when we’re walking to our room.”

  “Lemme guess,” Omar said. “Champagne will be waiting. And chocolate covered strawberries? Maybe some rose petals strewn around the room?”

  “Trade the chocolate covered strawberries for a pizza that will be delivered hot and ready to our room just before we arrive, and the champagne for vodka Diet Coke and you’re spot on.” She always joked about wedding food being too dainty for her.

  Marly’s grin widened. “She’s going to love it.”

  I know. There was quite literally not a more perfect way to propose to Luciana Rodriguez. “Here,” I said, handing Marly the velvet wrapped jewelry box. “From Jude, with love.” Then, grabbing a card from the inside pocket of my tux, I handed that to her as well. “He had a whole sappy speech he wanted me to say, but I made him write it down.”

  She handed me a wrapped present as well. “Take this back to him.”

  I nodded and got out of the way as all the bridesmaids flocked around Marly. Lucy hung back, pushing on her toes and kissed me on the cheek. “I’ll see you out there?” I nodded and her smile lit up her face. “I can’t wait to walk down the aisle with you.”

  I bit the inside of my cheek to stifle my laughter. I knew what she meant. I was walking her down the aisle here—tonight. I bent, kissing her softly. “Me too, Shorty.”

  She joined the bridesmaids, surrounding Marly as she opened the diamond necklace from Jude. I slowly backed toward the door, dipping my hand into my pocket where the small velvet ring box was safe at the bottom. “Me too.”

  To read a FREE bonus scene where Lucy and Ash swim with the manatees, click here!

  Coming in 2020…

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