Watched (The Watched Series)

by Cindy M. Hogan

  I wondered what my family had been doing. Had they thought about me at all? What would they think if they knew what had happened to me these last few days? Not much probably. They thought I could handle anything and wouldn’t worry.

  I’d been in D.C. a week now. I couldn’t remember what we had planned for today, our last real day of sightseeing. What could we do on a Sunday? Maybe we would relax a bit before the real work of the trip began tomorrow. I kind of wished we’d worked the first week of the trip and played the second. It was odd to do it the other way around. Don’t all moms tell kids to work first, then play? If only we had done that, we wouldn’t have run into the trouble in the ballroom. I really didn’t have an interest in politics and it would have been nice just to continue to explore D.C. and not have to worry about “our” political careers.

  I heard some noise behind me as Marybeth climbed out onto the balcony with me.

  “Hey,” she said.

  “Hey,” I said.

  “What ya doing?”

  “Couldn’t sleep and it’s just so nice out here.”

  “It really is.”

  “Marybeth, I’m sorry you didn’t know about the scholarship.”

  “That’s okay. I probably wouldn’t have qualified anyway. My parents make too much.”

  “Why did you want to go on this particular trip?” I asked. “Why not choose a cheaper one. I saw a lot of cheaper ones advertised on the internet.”

  “This trip is the best one. The fifty kids in this particular group get special treatment. The ones in all the other groups that combine with us at the last debate, the day before we leave, don’t get half of what we do. Look at where we are staying, for instance. All the other groups are in dive hotels, eat crappy food and only get to go see the things that every other sight-seer who comes to D.C. gets to see. Even our bus is cush. This particular group was developed to give political hopefuls the chance to see first-hand, the inner workings of politics in D.C. without getting their hands dirty. This is for the elite. This is partly how they protect their inner-circles of power and keep that power within the same few hands. We get to spend the day with a page, shadow a lobbyist and Congressman’s aide or a Senator’s aide. We get to be with Mrs. J., who is infamous for setting up future politicians. The people you see eating with us every day, will be the ones leading this country in the years to come. It’s all about power and connections. I’m surprised you didn’t know all this.”

  I wanted to tell her that I wasn’t interested in politics at all, and I was only here to create a new me, but I figured it would be too big of a pill to swallow, considering the scholarship and all. “It’s not like they spelled it out like that on the internet. I just picked the one that had a scholarship.”

  My stomach growled so loud that I thought it would wake everyone in D.C. We laughed and climbed back into our room. Marybeth told me to go down to breakfast before my stomach disappeared, and she would meet me there as soon as she got ready. I didn’t argue. I grabbed my things and took off for the elevator.

  Being the only one from our group in the breakfast room felt odd, but I was too hungry to worry about it. Like always, the buffet had everything possible on it; a perk of this tour, I guess. Would our future leaders really come from this group of fifty kids? I loaded my plate high, sat down and dug in. Next thing I knew, Rick sat next to me.

  “Wow,” he said, looking at my overflowing plate. He rocked into me, his shoulder touching mine, and then his entire arm snuggled up next to mine. I looked up at his grinning face, only inches from me.

  “Very funny,” I said.

  “You beat me, ya know. I’ve been the first one down here every day until today.”

  “Slept in, did ya?” I said, turning back to my food. His arm still pressed against mine.

  “No. You just got here early. I guess you feel better now, huh? I mean you’re eating and everything.”

  “Yeah,” I said. “I thought I was going to die yesterday. I must’ve eaten something bad.” I laughed, but what I really wanted to do was cry thinking about puking my guts out, not to mention having to re-live the worst moments of my life with the FBI agents.

  “When we checked on you last night you were sleeping like a baby,” he said.

  “You checked on me?” I clenched my hands together.

  “Yeah. We were all so worried, we checked on you as soon as we got back.”

  “We?” I hoped against hope that we did not include Alex.

  “Marybeth, Mrs. J. and I.”

  “Oh.” I was relieved that Alex hadn’t come, but at the same time, I wished he had. I looked at my plate and decided I wasn’t as hungry as I thought. When I reached for my glass of water, Rick was still touching me.

  I looked around him as casually as I could. Yep, no one there. I looked in the other direction, no one there either. There we were at this large table, elbow to elbow, while there was room enough for us to be ten feet apart.

  At that precise moment, Kira walked in. Our eyes met. Her eyes narrowed and the corners of her mouth dropped. She started stomping our way. I suddenly felt guilty.

  I hadn’t done anything wrong, though and didn’t need to feel guilty. Sure, Rick was sitting with me, touching me, but I hadn’t invited it.

  “Hey Kira,” I shot out, as the gap between us narrowed.

  “Hey, Kira,” Rick said casually. “I was just about to tell Christy about yesterday and everything we did.”

  “Really,” she said through clenched teeth.

  I finished my water with one big gulp.

  “I’ll be right back,” I said, as I stood up, waving my glass in the air to indicate I needed a refill. After filling my glass with ice, I pressed my cup to the water dispenser and got bumped from behind. Kira.

  “What the heck, Christy. I told you he was taken,” she said, her face red and her eyes extremely wide open.

  One thing’s for sure, Kira’s direct. She doesn’t beat around the bush.

  “What are you talking about?” I asked, playing dumb.

  “Hello!... Rick, the guy you were all over when I walked in,” she hissed.

  “All over? Really? Look, for the last time, I’m not interested in Rick and he’s not interested in me.” The thought of his arm touching mine danced through my mind and I had to look away from her.

  “What?” she asked. She stared at me intently.

  “I’m truly not interested in Rick, I said. “He’s yours, if he’ll have you. Have at it.” I looked her directly in the eye so that she couldn’t misunderstand me.

  She let out a breath, and her shoulders sunk a bit.

  “You mean it, don’t you?”

  “Of course,” I answered.

  She looked at me and then looked in Rick’s direction and then back at me again.

  “I told you this before,” I said. “Believe me, this time. I was all by myself before he joined me. Did you want him to sit way over there?” I pointed to the other end of the breakfast room.

  “Well, maybe. I mean, I don’t know.”

  The sad thing was that she really did.

  “Stop being so suspicious, Kira. He was just being a nice guy and didn’t want me to sit alone. Why in the world would you think he liked me?”

  “You looked so cozy together, laughing and talking. He’s so cute and nice. You do think he’s cute, don’t you?”

  “Sure, but I’m not interested. Can we drop this? If you get all jealous on me again, I’ll have to hurt you. Seriously.”

  “Fine. I’ll keep the claws in for now,” she said with a little growl. “But you better watch it.” She laughed half-heartedly and went to get some breakfast. What she really meant was that I better stay away. I noticed that the room was getting crowded.

  After I’d filled my glass, I headed back to the table. Almost everyone from our group sat around tables now. If my plate hadn’t been marking my spot, I would have had to sit that ten feet away from Rick that Kira wanted me to sit. I stopped in my tracks. Alex w
as sitting next to my empty seat. I was going to be sandwiched between Rick and Alex, and by the looks of it, I would never fit in the small space they’d left me. My heart skipped a beat, and I looked back at Kira and thought about offering the space to her. She hadn’t claimed a spot yet and would have to sit far away from Rick and all of us, for that matter, and she wouldn’t be happy about it.

  “Christy,” Rick called out. “What are you looking at? I saved your place. Come on.”

  I couldn’t breathe, thinking about sitting next to Alex. I really, really wanted him to like me, and it was scary. I didn’t want the inevitable pain of rejection that always came.

  “Uh, there’s not enough room for me,” I said, motioning with my glass at a different table. “I’ll go sit down there.”

  “Don’t be crazy,” he insisted. “There’s plenty of space.” He poked Alex and said something to him that made him look at me.

  “Sorry, Christy,” Alex said. “Scoot down guys!” he yelled to the left side of the table and everyone moved down.

  “There you go, Christy,” Alex said, patting the bench next to him.

  I tried to smile, but I had no clue if I had been successful. My heart raced and I seemed to have lost my mind. I couldn’t think.

  “Thanks,” I squeaked, more quietly than I’d intended, feeling my cheeks burn.

  “No problem,” he said, his hand still on the seat.

  I looked up to see Kira getting some orange juice. My mind kicked into gear. I wanted to gag at the thought. Think before you drink and only drink what you get yourself, I reminded myself.

  “Come on,” Alex said again, still patting the seat and looking at me.

  Those deep brown eyes got to me, and I hurried to sit down, leaving Kira to her own fate.

  CHAPTER TEN

  Being sandwiched between Rick and Alex created such a rush of emotions, that I stared at the table, afraid my eyes would betray me. My arm tingled where Alex’s arm touched mine, and I felt my temperature rise.

  “You must be feeling better,” Alex said.

  My heart stuttered when he spoke to me, and I almost couldn’t look. His stunning face captured me and my throat swelled so that I couldn’t speak.

  “You are feeling better aren’t you, Christy?” he asked again, pulling away a little, his eyebrows pushed together.

  Speak, you stupid girl, my mind screamed. “He thinks you’re going to puke all over him. Or worse yet, give him what you had.”

  Somehow, I gained power over my tongue, “Of course. Afraid I’m gonna puke on you?” It was like someone else had made me speak—and not my words. Horrified, I looked away.

  “No,” he said in a quiet whisper. “I just wanted to make sure you were all right. You were pretty sick.” He didn’t laugh. Him seeing me on the bathroom floor heaving flashed through my mind.

  I felt terrible as I met his gaze again. “I’m sorry. I seem to have lost control over my mouth.”

  He laughed. “Very funny. Like you ever lose control.”

  “Hey.” I couldn’t think of anything else to say, so I just stared at him. He stared back, smiling. My heart ran a relay race in my chest. Why was he talking to me? Hadn’t the game, I’ve never, sealed my fate as a total loser?

  “I was a bit worried you got sick because of all the stress. You know.”

  He worried about me? No way. “Nope. I’m okay. I mean, it has been stressful, but it must have just been something I ate or drank.”

  “Hmpf. Well, you didn’t miss much yesterday,” he volunteered. “We saw the embassies and mansion houses, but once you see one big, stuffy house, you’ve seen them all. Rock Creek Park was pretty cool, but we couldn’t wander, so where’s the fun in that? A mass of fifty people moving through a forest kinda defeats its purpose, if you ask me.” He touched my arm for emphasis, burning me with his fingertips.

  “Yeah,” I said.

  I would’ve liked to have seen the mansions, though. It wouldn’t have been an everyday thing for me. I grew up without luxury and seeing luxury often motivated me to work hard to escape my inadequate circumstances.

  Kira stood at the opposite side of the table glaring at me. After I looked at her, she turned abruptly and sat at another table.

  Alex was eating when I looked back at him, so I picked at my food. I could feel the smile on my face in my toes. Alex and I had a conversation.

  “Christy, I’ll fill you in on what we did yesterday.” Rick, taking advantage of the break in our conversation, started to give me the play by play account of what took place the day before.

  His version gave a much more detailed account than Alex’s. I was a little distracted, wishing it was Alex who talked to me. I did manage to answer Rick at mostly the right times and even asked a few questions. Since he sat only inches from me, I couldn’t ignore him or avoid him. I know it sounds mean, I wasn’t trying to be, but I just wanted a few moments to revel in the memory of talking to Alex—one I thought I might never have again.

  Rick didn’t get a chance to finish telling me about everything that had happened, though. Mrs. J. showed up and told us what we could expect for the rest of the day. She said something about a reflecting pool and churches, and while she yammered, I took one last look at Alex and drifted off into la la land. Next thing I knew, two hands, almost simultaneously, touched my shoulders, bringing me back to reality. I looked to my left, it was Alex. My body seemed to buzz.

  “Hey, time to go.”

  “’Kay,” I said, my stomach doing flip flops. His hand lifted off my shoulder, but I willed the pressure to stay there. I noticed he glanced over my head as Rick tapped my right shoulder again.

  “Let me take your plate,” he said—always the gentleman.

  “Okay,” I said, giving him a quick smile and then turning to look at Alex. He wasn’t there. I sighed, and looked down at the table. When I looked up again, I saw two pairs of eyes staring at me from across the room. The fun flip flops in my stomach turned to agonizing twisting and contracting in an instant. Jeremy and Nathan smiled at me two tables away, but I couldn’t smile back. The ballroom scene flashed across my mind.

  All of the earlier excitement drained out of me and I felt a weight press down on me. It was difficult to get out of my seat, but Rick was back, waiting, when I managed it. I glanced back at the two FBI agents. They still watched me. Jeremy’s grin was so inviting, but I could only return half a smile. Kira, a few feet away, glowered. I shook my head in disbelief. She needed to get a life. Couldn’t she see it was Alex that interested me?

  The reflecting pool, by the Lincoln Memorial, started our Sunday off right. I couldn’t remember a time that I had missed church two weeks in a row. I had missed the first, last Sunday flying to D.C., and then there was today. Come to think of it, I would be missing next Sunday flying back. Mrs. J. did say we would be touring churches, maybe that would take away the odd feeling I had.

  Even though church bored me sometimes, I loved the way it made me feel. It wasn’t a concrete feeling, in the sense of knowing something from a book, but a feeling that someone was there, from the great beyond, cheering for me. I stole away from the group and found a relatively open spot between two of the trees lining the walkway that flanked the memorial, to sit and think.

  Some of our group climbed into the water of the reflecting pool, splashing and playing around. When a guard came and shooed them away, I smiled. I sat on the ground and looked at the calm water.

  My mind drifted, and I thought rationally about things that only a week ago wouldn’t have crossed my mind.

  Why did things like what happened in the ballroom, happen? Why would God allow it? In the far reaches of my mind, I could hear my youth leaders saying, “We all have our agency, and God will never force good upon anyone. Just think if all your choices were taken from you. What kind of an existence would that be?”

  Do we have to experience the bad to understand the good? Sometimes it seemed it would all be easier if we didn’t have choices—or at le
ast to let someone make the hard ones for me. But, I guess that was someone else’s plan, and I certainly didn’t want anyone telling me what to do every second of my life, even if that meant making mistakes on the way.

  But, how could the robed men have been so cold-hearted, and how could Senator Randolph live with himself? What could be so important to these men that they could be so violent, so evil? Was this reality outside my box at home? We all came from the same heaven, so why don’t we all just want to be good? I guess it all comes down to who you choose to follow. Happiness follows God and misery follows the devil. While thought provoking, it scared me to think about good and evil in this way.

  I felt someone pass behind me, so close that I thought I felt his jeans brush my back, chilling me. I turned to see the legs of a young man walking away from me at a leisurely pace back to the long walkway. My heart drummed unevenly and I froze, every part of my body ice, looking after the young man. What a strange reaction.

  I watched him saunter past a bunch of people, take a quick look back and then disappear behind some trees on the other side of the walkway. Was that Iceman? I tried to look away, but couldn’t. The muscles in my neck began to ache from being stuck in one position and I wanted to scream out in pain. My neck finally spasmed, sending a chain reaction through my whole body that melted my frozen parts. I could move again.

  I jumped to my feet, grabbed the bag Marybeth had loaned me and looked for my group. Some had found their way back into the reflecting pool while others stood bunched in various groups talking. I searched for Rick, needing some comfort, wanting to feel safe. Instead, I found Alex. My heart did flip-flops.