Young Annabelle Series: Young Annabelle, The Truth About James, What My Heart Wants

by Sarah Tork

  Food!

  I salivated in front of a row of chips as my sweaty body basked in the air-conditioned bliss of a 7-eleven.

  An hour at Jenna’s hadn’t helped nearly as much as she’d hoped.

  One, I was starving and I hadn’t eaten anything there.

  Two, and most importantly, I was a zombie that refused to indulge in feelings that were safely locked away and hidden – I’d open that safe later, in the privacy of my room, hoping my tears wouldn’t ruin what was left of my psyche.

  But, for now, I was a zombie on a mission. While stupid James and his slut-slave Donna danced away at Peter’s party tonight, I would indulge in the most massive junk food binge of my life.

  Operation junk food: Commence!

  I had grabbed a basket from the front before trailing towards the junk food aisle of the store. I planned to fill it up. My hands automatically answered the call of junk food and grabbed a few bags of chips along with some candy bars. The next stop, possibly the most important, was the sliding fridge. I grabbed four cans of regular pop and neatly lined them in the basket so that they wouldn’t trample the candy bars and chips.

  The calorie-count in all of this was going to be in the thousands – I didn’t care. I was eating all of it. Tonight. I wanted there to be smudges of chocolate all over my mouth as I slept. I wanted to sleep on smashed pieces of chips that failed to make it into my mouth. I wanted to wake up tomorrow morning with a toothache so painful it’d make me forget about today.

  I could only hope.

  I made my way to the counter to pay, and along the way my hand grabbed a small bag of kettle popcorn that was on sale and a small bag of Cracker Jacks.

  I decided I needed those too.

  I brought my overflowing basket to the cashier and handed over some money. I placed everything into my backpack with care, placing the heavier items on the bottom. Since the first day back this year had fallen on a Friday, there was no homework so my bag was practically empty except for my doodle notebook.

  The automatic sliding doors opened as new customers walked in. I hoisted my backpack onto my shoulders, preparing to make the trip home a quick one because it was especially hot today and I needed to get home before my chocolates melted and my drinks got warm. I hated warm pop. I couldn’t drink them at that temperature and, if that happened, it would be very bad.

  With how things had been going so far, one more disappointment would be the tipping point in my psychological meltdown. I made a safe bet when I placed all my happiness cards in the instant satisfaction of cheap junk food.

  The sliding doors opened for me and I speed walked home, careful not to shake my bag too much so the cans of pop wouldn’t explode when I opened them. I wanted to drink it, not bathe in it.

  I quietly opened the front door as I slid out my key from the lock, careful not to make noise. I wanted one thing and that was to make it to my room as fast as possible.

  “Annabelle? Is that you?” Mom called from the basement.

  I let out a sigh at my failure and closed the door behind me. The floorboards rumbled as I kicked off my shoes. I tightened my hold on the straps of my backpack. My treasure was safe in there as long as I kept it close to my body; as long as my bag was on my back, she couldn’t unzip it and explore.

  That would be rude.

  “Annabelle? Why didn’t you answer?” Mom asked from the hallway.

  I looked up as she entered the foyer. “I’m just tired,” I responded exhaustedly.

  “How was your first day? Senior year!”

  “It was fine. Nothing special.” I shrugged and turned to the stairs, “I’m going to my room.”

  “Wait! Annabelle, darling, about the shirt.” Mom narrowed her eyes and shook her head. “It’s a lovely color but the way it’s fallen over your sweaty frame…it looks like it’s been painted on. Darling…no.”

  “No problem, Mom. Next time I’ll wear something not as tight.”

  “Thank you dear.”

  Without another word I jogged up the stairs to my room. I shut my door and collapsed against it with a sigh of relief.

  I dumped my bag on my bed. Tonight was the night to wallow in despair over the terrible mistakes I’d made this past month. I planned to inhale every ounce of food in that backpack and enjoy the sweet and salty goodness because tomorrow and Sunday I had to snap back and figure out a way to save face.

  I unzipped my bag and took out my first candy bar. Holding it like the treasure it was, I delicately unwrapped it and took my first bite of chocolate.

  My safe haven.

  CHAPTER 14

  Friday September 7th 2012

  Present time…..

  James’ tongue tasted like chocolate as he pressed his lips farther into mine.

  Yum, chocolate… I deepened the kiss, kicking away my previous intentions of telling him to go screw himself. How could I tell him to go away when he tasted like chocolate?

  I don’t turn away chocolate, not ever!

  He lowered me back onto the ground and my shoes crunched against a texture that wasn’t there before. I pulled back slightly; the aroma of chocolate was too much for me to handle without biting him. As I stared into his beautiful green eyes my shoes made crunching noises.

  What am I standing on?

  I glanced down and blinked in shock. Potato chips covered every inch of the school’s front terrace. I glanced up in confusion.

  “What’s all of this?” I asked, incredibly confused.

  All of a sudden, James’ mouth was covered in smudges of melted chocolate as he gazed at me lovingly. “Baby, I did it for you!” he exclaimed like he was lovesick.

  I gazed at the yellow texture covering the entire terrace then back up to him. “You did this for me?”

  He nodded sweetly. “I know you love chips, my love. I did it to prove my devotion to you!”

  “I do love chips!” I replied bewildered.

  “And chocolate!” He purred seductively.

  “I love chocolate too!” I gushed, about to swoon.

  “Baby, I know!” He growled sexily and grabbed my waist, bending into me to press his chocolate-covered mouth onto mine passionately – letting me taste chocolate like I’d never tasted chocolate before.

  Beep! Beep!

  The noise rang loudly from the sky. James pulled back and stared deep in my eyes. I blinked a few times; his entire face was covered in chocolate.

  “You like what you see, Fireball?” he purred.

  My eyes jerked open.

  Beep! Beep!

  What?

  I blinked a few times, taking several moments to realize where I was. I glanced up at my ceiling.

  I’m still in bed!

  I had dreamt the entire weekend went by in a flash and I met up with James on the terrace before school started.

  How could I not know it was a dream?

  Idiot!

  I took a deep breath and wiped chip crumbs off my shirt. My hands shuffled around my bed until they felt my phone resting beside my pillow. I wiped any grease left on my hands on my sweaty green shirt then tapped on the message.

  New message from: Jenna!

  Jenna: So I’ve been thinking……

  I read the short, vague message again before I texted back:

  Annabelle: What do u mean you’ve been thinking? That’s usually not a good thing…

  I grabbed my nearly finished pop from my side table, it was slightly warm but I downed it anyways. The chocolate and potato chip combination had made me thirsty. I tucked the empty can behind my dresser as I waited for Jenna to explain her cryptic message.

  My phone beeped.

  Jenna: What! Between u and I, I’m obviously the brains! Anyways…..I got me an idea!

  As I read the message, the doorbell rang.

  Who could that be?

  In the middle of typing a response to her, three knocks on my door caught me off guard. I flew off my bed, grabbing the half-eaten bag of chips.

  “Just a mi
nute!” I yelled frantically as I tucked the bag underneath my bed. Thank goodness the rest of my supply was safe in my bag, which I had stored in the closet. I had no worries about my drinks going warm or my chocolate melting, the air conditioning was always on high – the energy bill must be ridiculous.

  Before opening the door, I wiped the edges of my mouth, hoping to eliminate any remnants of evidence. I wasn’t in the mood for an interrogation.

  Just make sure to stand at least two meters away if it’s Mom, otherwise she’ll smell it on your breath! I reminded myself before twisting the knob and opening the door.

  I blinked in surprise.

  Jenna?

  “What are you doing here?” I muttered, confused at the sight of my best friend leaning against the wall with her arms crossed.

  She pushed off the wall and strode into my room.

  “What are you doing here?” I asked her bewilderedly as she crossed the doorway.

  “Like I said, I’ve been thinking,” she exclaimed stopping in front of my bed, examining it for a second before looking back up at me.

  “Thinking about what?” I asked hesitantly.

  A smile slowly broke across her face as her eyes narrowed in on me.

  “Feel like going to a party?”

  CHAPTER 15

  THE TRUTH ABOUT JAMES

  “Going to a party?” I repeated slowly, narrowing my eyes at Jenna.

  She must have been ill, because there was no way she just asked me to go to Peter’s party with her tonight. I went to her and rested my palm against her forehead.

  “I’m not sick Annabelle!” Her eyes widened underneath the edge of my hand.

  I dropped my hand from her forehead. “You don’t feel warm.” I said in mock-concern, striding over to the window. I rested my chin on my fist, in a thinking stance as I peered out the window at the sun setting.

  The conundrum.

  “Are you serious?” Jenna asked in disbelief. “I’m not sick. I’m serious. Dead serious!”

  I gazed back at her, tilting my head to the side.

  “Are you speaking English right now?” I asked her slowly.

  Her chin jerked forward. “You know very well what I’m saying. So stop pretending you don’t understand me. We are going to that party!”

  “Okay, whatever you say.” I quickly told her, turning and crawling back on top of my bed.

  Ohhh chips! I reached for the half eaten chip bag. At least there was one good thing happening in this moment.

  Yay for chips.

  Before touching the bag, it was cruelly snatched away, causing the inwards to spill all across my floor.

  “Hey!”

  “These will not help you!” Jenna held up the now empty bag as I crawled off the bed in haste.

  “There’s nothing in there anymore, it’s all over my floor! You’re cleaning that up!” I snapped at her.

  She raised an eyebrow and flicked the empty chip bag into the air. It floated down, landing on top of my pillow.

  My jaw dropped.

  “That’s what I thought bitch!” Jenna exclaimed, flipping her long black hair to the side.

  Did she just flick her hair at me?

  She did not just flick her hair at me!

  “Do you wanna go right now? Because we can totally go, right now!” I threatened, crossing my arms over my chest.

  “Darling you couldn’t take me on your best day and if I seem to recall, today ain’t one of those kinds of days for you. Don’t push me.” Jenna stated, holding out her hand.

  Talk to her hand?

  Oh no, bitch did not just give me the hand!

  “Who do you_”

  “Don’t push me!” Jenna yelled over me.

  “Push you _”

  “Don’t push me Annabelle, I swear to God! I will beat your dramatic ass!” Jenna warned, pulling her hand back down.

  She’d better lower that hand!

  Taking a deep breath, I unfolded my arms. “I’m not going.”

  “You’re going.” Jenna stated quietly.

  “I’m not going.” I repeated, my jaw clenching in frustration.

  “You. Are. Going!” Jenna stated slowly, then turned and headed toward my closet. “Now let’s see what you’ve got that’ll be good for the party?”

  “Don’t you dare open my closet!” My feet remained still. “You do not have permission to open my closet, I forbid you!”

  Jenna halted in front of my closed closet and flipped her hair over her shoulder, again.

  Oh no she didn’t!

  “That’s right, I did it again and I’ll do whatever I God damn well please, try and stop me, I dare you!” Jenna’s hands paused on top of the door knob. “Besides, I still owe you a beating for keeping a certain douchebag a secret for over a month, so in all actuality I’ll win both ways. Either, I open this closet or you come here and stop me and then I beat your ass for being a stupid idiot, and for keeping James a secret. You choose!”

  I clenched my teeth tightly. Damn her!

  I flipped on to my bed, hiding my head into my pillow. “Do whatever you want, I don’t care anymore!”

  “First smart decision you’ve made in a while Annabelle, I’m proud of you!” I heard the closet doors snap open. “Now let’s see what you’ve got good enough to grace Peter’s party to with.”

  “You’re going to be disappointed then. I’ve got nothing good enough for a party, so in all actuality, we should just snap the book closed on going to this party. I’ve got no party clothes, absolutely nothing!” I muttered loudly.

  “Found something!” Jenna announced. My head snapped up in confused shocked.

  “What!” I twisted my head to see what she’d found. Jenna pulled out a hanger from the end of the rack, a hip level shimmery black tank top. I didn’t know how she found that. I struggled to remember how it got into my closet in the first place.

  “It still has a tag on it.” Jenna held up the tag in confusion. I thought back, sorting through memories of anything that held a shimmery black tank top.

  Mom.

  Last June, before the weight loss spectacle, adventure, quest, Mom came home from the mall with bags of clothing for the entire family. Among the purchases, she was considerate enough to buy her slightly overweight daughter something she could wear outside, like to a party.

  “I know it’s only a medium, but the sales lady said the material stretches and after you lose weight this summer, I’m sure it’s just going to look fabulous on you!” Mom gushed, last June.

  I remembered her eyes got all dreamy as she gazed at the shimmery top. She popped open my closet without asking me and took out a hanger, hung the tank top on top of it and slid it on the rack in the back.

  “Think of it as something to work towards Annabelle!” She gushed some more, then exited the room.

  I didn’t think I’d said a word or moved one inch during her ‘positive’ reinforcement. I didn’t think I’d moved or said anything for a good five minutes even after she’d left - I was still thawing from the shock of what had just happened.

  “Snap out of your flashback Annabelle!” Jenna snapped her fingers across my face. “I’m ripping off this tag!”

  “What?” I muttered, slowly coming out of my fog - but it was too late, the tag was ripped off and thrown into the tiny brown garbage bin underneath my desk. “I’m not wearing that!”

  “You’re so wearing it!” Jenna said back, holding the tank up into the air to examine it more thoroughly. “This is nice, you’ll look great in it!”

  “I’m not wearing it, it’s too small anyways!” I snapped at her. “And I’m not going to that party, no way, no how!”

  Jenna’s arms dropped with the party top in hand. “When is this going to stop Anna?”

  I blinked a few times as my mouth all of a sudden felt dry. I didn’t understand what she was asking me, but strangely it stumped me anyways.

  “When is what going to stop?” I answered confused. Jenna sighed loudly and plopped
down on my bed, crossing her legs while she carefully placed the top flat across my bed.

  “When are you going to look at yourself as a contender?” Jenna said as she looked up from the bed.

  I looked away, all of a sudden uncomfortable with the line questioning. It had gotten really deep, and I wasn’t known to excel in expressing my feelings.

  “A contender – what?” I pretended not to understand her, hoping she’d forget about wanting to know the answer and move on to other menial lines of questioning, like the stupid party.

  Which I still was not going to go to. Why the hell would I want to go? Obviously I didn’t want to go and watch James canoodle with slut bag Donna while I stalked privately in the corner like a loser.

  Jenna let out a breath and tilted her head to the side. “In life Anna, let me tell you something, there are things that you’re going to want, really want and when we want such things bad enough, we do things that are out of our comforts. Like lets say for instance, you – you want the L.U.V thing.”

  I let out a disgusted hiss, in disbelief that she went there. “Stop – just stop – you’re speaking in code, it’s annoying and it’s not L.U.V it’s L.O.V.E”

  Jenna shook her head slowly. She thought I didn’t understand her logic. “Well since you so politely mentioned it – yes, I think it’s time I went all philosophical on your dumbass.”

  “Dude! I will totally hit you if you start, so don’t even_” I began to say but Jenna sat down abruptly beside me and grabbed my shoulders, pushing them so that I’d face her completely.

  “Life – is a long – long road, that shiny gold star that marks growth and acceptance is patiently waiting along the way – you just need to find your way to it.” Jenna finished the gibberish with a look of contentment.

  I needed to tell her that whatever she just said made…..absolutely no sense. For the good of mankind and the entire world, maybe even the galaxy, I thought I should tell her to never – ever speak that shit again.

  Ever.

  “Jesus Christ!” I hissed, looking away immediately.

  “Do you have it, Anna?” Jenna got off the bed and stood in front of me with her arms folded across her chest. “Do you?”