Young Annabelle Series: Young Annabelle, The Truth About James, What My Heart Wants

by Sarah Tork

  She didn’t get it. I didn’t want the attention that came with being next to him. So with him not interacting with me at school, turned into more of a favor than an insult.

  Jenna still didn’t see it like that and as the days went by she became more and more upset at how my ‘boyfriend’ was treating me. Her compliance was short lived. But that didn’t shock me, I knew she’d crack sooner or later, that was just her nature when something annoyed her. She couldn’t keep it in for too long before erupting.

  “I saw him flirting with Donna!” Jenna slammed her locker shut and scowled at me, practically blowing fire out of her nose.

  She’s pissed!

  I shook my head as we made our way towards the cafeteria. “Donna would flirt with the phonebook if it got her the same attention as she would with James.”

  “Exactly!” Jenna screeched.

  “It’s nothing, they were just talking. You know they are in the same group, they’re friends.” I informed her, shaking my head. She was being annoying again.

  Jenna rolled her eyes and snorted. “Friends? Yeah okay!”

  “Stop!” I hissed. She was acting like a lunatic.

  “I don’t like this!” Jenna announced, loudly.

  “You don’t have to like this, I do!” I yelled back just as loudly. We both looked the other way, deadly steam exuding from the both us on our way to the cafeteria.

  We entered the cafeteria quietly, she broke away heading towards the restaurant. “I’m hungry. I’m going to buy a cheeseburger.”

  Whatever! I watched her walk away as I headed towards a table with some of her swim team mates. I wasn’t hungry anymore, something ruined my appetite. It’s not like I’d never thought about James and me at school and how we never talked. The last time I spoke with him on school property was in the parking lot a few weeks ago, when we were in his car hashing things out.

  I blushed at the memory. Since then we’d had many moments similar but it never stretched beyond making each other feel good.

  Really good.

  My body shivered as the memories excited my nerves. My line of sight as I sat down trailed across the cafeteria, stopping when it reached James’s table. The Baseball crew and Donna’s hot chick crew sat together, mixed. When I found James, my blood boiled in an instant when I saw Donna and her skanky arm draped over his shoulder tightly. Her other hand was holding out her iPhone. She pouted her lips a few inches away from his cheek, pretending to kiss him.

  Thank God it was just pretend.

  James laughed at his boys, who I could hear from all the way across the cafeteria jeering him on as Donna snapped her photos.

  “Yeah boy!” They laughed loudly. Donna put down the phone and dropped her pout, but her arm didn’t move from his shoulders.

  Move your arm!

  Why wasn’t she dropping her arm around his shoulder? She already took the damn picture. There was no need for her arm to be there anymore!

  My heart began beating faster as a sickening nervous feeling enveloped deep inside my stomach. I breathed in and out slowly, hoping it would help calm me down.

  But it didn’t. Her arm didn’t move, it stayed wrapped around his shoulder.

  What was going on…..?

  How come all of a sudden she was comfortable enough to put her arm around him? It wasn’t like this for the past few weeks. Yeah they laughed and joked around, but she was touching him now.

  Touching someone who she had not right to be touching. That’s because he belonged to me.

  Or so I thought….

  Oh God, I was going back to that girl, the needy annoying scared girl! I didn’t want to be her, always worrying, stressing that things we’re going to go wrong.

  “Well that’s just great!” Jenna hissed from behind me, sliding on to the bench beside me. “Don’t they look all nice and chummy, like a real boyfriend and girlfriend.”

  I didn’t answer her. I was stuck in a trance. Her arm wasn’t moving. Her long auburn hair styled in waves brushed his face as she jerked it around all of a sudden and he quickly slides it away from his face, tucking the strands behind her ear.

  I was going to faint.

  Maybe…

  “Well case proved.” Jenna said bitterly. “You can’t be that blind Annabelle!”

  “Shut up.” I murmured.

  “No!” Jenna snapped.

  “Stop talking to me.” I pleaded, forcing myself to look away from them, anywhere but at them. I stared at the floor between my legs. “Just don’t.”

  “I can’t believe you trusted that fool.” Jenna whispered, upset obvious in her voice. “You have to break it off with him.”

  “Jenna, I’m begging you please!” I pleaded.

  “No Anna, I’m begging you please!” Jenna pleaded, clearly exasperated.

  “I need to get out of here.” I got off the bench, grabbing my backpack off the ground. “I’m going for a walk.”

  “I’m coming with you.” Jenna announced.

  “No, I need to be alone now.” I told her sternly as she got off the bench, stopping a few inches away.

  “Yeah alone, until that douchebag decides he wants to actually talk to you at school and then it’s going to be make-out city. What’ll you think will happen this time Anna, a little action in parking lot again!” Jenna hissed loud enough so only I could hear.

  I wasn’t that girl.

  I just stared at her for a few seconds before turning away and walking out the cafeteria. She didn’t follow me. The silence of the hallway was welcoming and very much appreciated. I needed no noise right now. I entered a hallway knowing it was barely used during lunch time. I slid down a random locker, plopping my backpack beside me and resting my head on my knees as I took deep breaths trying to filter out all the negativity inside of me.

  Her arm was still around his shoulder, even as I left the cafeteria.

  What happened?

  I thought we were on the same path. We went out last Sunday. We went to the movies, we talked, kissed and touched. It was Wednesday and since that Sunday we’d been texting at night. He sent me sweet texts, telling me how much he missed me, wanting to be with me in those moments so that he could hold me, kiss me, feel me.

  Then today, he’s tucking Donna’s strands behind her ears delicately, intimately, as if he were her boyfriend. Wasn’t it a boyfriend’s duty to fix their girlfriends hair when it became loose? His Baseball cap fell a lot and I fixed his hair many times, especially after losing ourselves into one another inside his car.

  I didn’t get it.

  What was I doing wrong? I hadn’t been nagging him. I didn’t even bother him about not talking to me at school anymore. I had accepted it.

  Then why?

  A few stubborn tears escaped my shields, trickling down my cheeks. Thank God I was alone. But just to be on the safe side, I should go to my stall. The privacy of the bathroom during lunch was a better place to be right now.

  I wiped the tears away and headed towards the bathroom.

  *~*~*

  Later that night, I was on my bed listening to depressing love music on my iPod.

  How things changed so fast, it was amazing. Last week today, I was so happy. Content with how things were going between us, and now I was depressed. He hadn’t even texted me yet and it was almost ten o clock at night.

  I guess he’s busy.

  Busy with another girl or with his friends, more important people than me. Who the hell was I, a big freaking nobody who wasn’t important, not to James at least.

  My phone buzzed beside me, alerting me. I jumped in surprise, the vibrations catching me off guard.

  James!

  Well surprise, surprise, look who decided to communicate! I opened the text.

  Tiger: Hey! Can you sneak out?

  I couldn’t believe this guy. I’d been an emotional wreck since lunch time and I was only hearing from him now?

  Annabelle: No.

  My phone beeped again a few seconds later.

>   Tiger: Why not?

  Annabelle: Because I’m busy.

  Tiger: What’s your problem now!

  My problem?

  What an asshole!

  My problem!

  Annabelle: I don’t have a problem. I’m just not feeling this anymore!

  Tiger: What?

  Annabelle: read the text again.

  Tiger: What’s wrong with you?

  Annabelle: Nothing, something’s wrong with you, that’s why you were hugging Donna!

  Tiger: Get over it, we weren’t doing anything!

  Annabelle: Don’t care, you hurt me today!

  Tiger: What?

  Annabelle: You don’t care about me!

  Tiger: Can you stop acting like a lunatic!

  Annabelle: And can you stop acting like you’re single!

  Tiger: How many times do I have to prove to you that it’s only you!

  Annabelle: When you stop touching other girls right in front of me, that’s when!

  Tiger: You know what Forget this! You’re driving me crazy

  Annabelle: That’s cool, that’s just great. Have a nice life asshole!

  He didn’t text me back, which was fine by me.

  I didn’t want talk to him, ever!

  He disrespected me in front of my best friend today, proving her right, yet again. I didn’t need that kind of a person in my life anymore.

  No more!

  A few minutes later, tears trickled down my face. I curled my head into my hands and cried quietly to myself. It wasn’t supposed to be like this. He was supposed to prove to me that everything was going to be okay with us, even though we didn’t flaunt our relationship in front of everyone.

  But he didn’t do that today and now I think we’ve just broken up because of it.

  Damn it.

  CHAPTER 26

  The next day, I sat on my bed in my pajamas staring out my window watching the sun rise. I woke up early today, barely getting any sleep last night, not with the way James and I had left things last night.

  I didn’t know what we were at the moment.

  Were we together or was last night the final nail in our relationship coffin? That thought plagued my thoughts for hours last night.

  I wished he’d just been honest with me from the beginning.

  Did he want me or did he want Donna? Because he could have her, all he’d have to do was leave me alone and I’d be on my merry way moving on to cuter and better things. It’s not like this girl here was doing so badly in attracting cute members of the opposite sex.

  Dean anyone?

  James ruined any chance of that relationship. He’s so selfish. He could have at least let me go. I could have had a decent, trustworthy boyfriend by now. And I had let him ruin things again.

  Again!

  Inhaling a deep breath of clarity, a bitter laugh escaped my mouth.

  Back to square one, didn’t I learn anything from my past experiences with him?

  Shaking my head at myself, I bounced off my bed and headed towards my closet. Today was a new day. A day where the past didn’t matter, where old Annabelle, the one who would never let a boy, especially a cute one continuously disrespect her.

  At least I hoped that’s how the old Annabelle would have acted. James was my first ‘boyfriend’, but that shouldn’t have mattered. I had my integrity to keep intact.

  I snapped my sliding closet doors open. They collided with a bang to my left, showcasing a closet filled with clothing that for the last week had become too loose on me.

  I needed an outfit, one that would show James that I, Annabelle Simms, could care less.

  Loud knocking interrupted my quest for the perfect revenge outfit.

  “Annabelle?” Mom called from behind the door.

  “Yes?” I called back.

  “I’m coming in.” Mom announced.

  “Okay.” I said warily.

  Mom slowly opened the door. She was still wearing her pajamas, a basic aqua blue shirt and short set. She entered my room with a shopping bag in hand.

  “What’s that?” I stared at the bag, transfixed. She placed the bag on my bed, showing me the front which said ‘Marshalls’ in big letters.

  “You bought something from Marshalls?” I asked her as she stood grinning, practically jumping with excitement.

  She wiped the grin off her face, looking apprehensive now. “Now, don’t be mad, I know I’ve been giving you a hard time about your weight and dieting these last few months. I know, psycho mom.”

  That’s true!

  I tilted my head to the side, crossing my arms. “Okay.”

  “Okay, well I bought you brand new clothes, a few sizes smaller.” Mom explained timidly.

  “When?” I looked at the bag confused.

  Mom looked away, seeming guilty. “At the beginning of summer.” She answered slowly.

  “What!” My jaw dropped. “You bought me clothes before I started losing any weight. How would you know how much weight I’d lose and what size I’d be?”

  “Well I kind of hoped and guessed you’d be a certain weight by now. I mean I’ve been pushing you a lot.” Mom explained, wide eyed.

  “You have!” I snipped, rolling my eyes. I eyed the bag, wishing I’d felt more repulsed by her pre-weight loss shopping expedition.

  What if I hadn’t lost that much weight by now?

  What would she have done with all those clothes?

  Return them?

  Embarrassed that her failure daughter couldn’t squeeze her fat ass into them?

  I should be repulsed by every single piece of clothing in that bag. I really should. But I had no clothes that fit me right now, considering practically everything in my closet was extra-large, and I wasn’t an extra-large anymore.

  “What size did you buy?” I asked her slowly.

  She clapped her hands repeatedly, obviously excited that I’d given dress up time the go ahead. “I’m so happy! I bought you so many beautiful things. I know you’re just going to love them!”

  Mom emptied the bag, clothing spilled across my unmade bed. She quickly sorted everything into piles. She bought me a few pretty tops, in medium. A few jeans in a size (gulp) six and four pairs of shorts (gulp) also in a size six. Last out of the bag was a tight looking violet sundress that went to my knees and a fitted jean jacket.

  “Mom, I don’t know if I’m going to fit into these.” I pointed the explosion of clothing.

  “I know you have your worries, I did too at the start of the school year, but this last month I don’t know, you’ve switched into high gear and the weight loss is much more obvious!” Mom explained hyper-like.

  Gee, thanks!

  I stared at the clothing, not knowing what I should do. If I attempted to try them on and failed to squeeze into them, it would be horrible.

  “Well I kind of was hoping for a favor from you.” Mom asked, sounding apprehensive again.

  I sighed, feeling a little harassed. “And what would that be?” I asked warily.

  “Please – please, can I watch you go on the scale – pretty please! I want to be there for the momentous occasion!” Mom pleaded with her hands clasped flatly.

  That request would have angered and annoyed me a month ago. Now I didn’t really care anymore.

  “Whatever.” I mumbled, making my way out the bedroom and into the bathroom where my scale was.

  “Thank you – thank you – thank you!” Mom screeched, running behind me.

  I tapped the scale and it read zero. I got on and the numbers went up and down a few times before settling on the magic number.

  150 lbs?

  “Oh my God!” Mom screamed, grabbing me and pulling me into a tight hug. “I’m so happy.”

  Was she crying?

  “What’s all the screaming about?” Dad yelled from their bedroom.

  “Mom! What happened?” Charles and Katherine called from the hallway.

  “Nothing – nothing! Sorry, sorry, everyone go back to sleep.” Mom sniff
ed, releasing me from her tight cocoon.

  Ugh, finally, I could breathe again.

  Mom wiped her tears away and faced me. “How? You lost more weight these last two months than the entire summer?”

  I knew why. I’d been barely eating this past month. It’s kind of hard to worry about food when your mind was always busy elsewhere. Like James and whether or not he really wanted to be with me.

  “I’ve just been eating salads at school and I don’t drink as much pop. And I walk everywhere, so with that, it all came together finally and my body lost the weight.” I explained nonchalantly.

  “Do you know what that means?” Mom chirped.

  “What?” I walked out of the bathroom and into my room.

  Mom followed behind me, stopping beside my bed. “That means, you’re passed a size eight, you’re a size six! The clothes will fit you!”

  Yay?

  *~*~*

  For the first time, in a very long time, I wore shorts. They were a plum color that stopped a few inches before my knees, practically mid-thigh. They belonged to mom’s pre-weight loss shopping. They were a size six and just like she said, they’d fit.

  And surprisingly they weren’t snug around the waist either. I paired it with a simple black short sleeved t-shirt that went past my hips, covering part of the shorts. Mom wanted me to wear one of the new tops she bought, but I still had my own style and since my black t-shirts still looked cool on me, I decided to pair the shorts with them.

  Something old and something new.

  I liked short sleeved t-shirts that went past my hips. It’s my thing. Whether mom approved or not was not my problem. I may have lost the weight but I had not lost my own style and taste.

  “Anna!” Jenna screeched by our usual spot at the bottom of the stairs outside school. She quickly eyed my bare legs. “You’re wearing shorts!”