Stronger

by Blue Ashcroft

  “What did I do to make you hate me?” I ask, exasperated.

  Her mouth slackens in surprise, and her eyes soften. Beautiful, velvet brown eyes when she’s not spitting fire at me. I like when they’re fiery too, though.

  “I don’t…hate you. Exactly.”

  “Yeah, but?”

  “I just don’t like you.”

  Oof. “Why? Seems like you’ve hated me since I started.”

  Her eyes flash. “Seems like you’ve been annoying to me since you started.”

  “That’s how I am with cute girls.”

  “Oh,” she says flatly. “I’m flattered.”

  “Yeah well, it usually works. You’re a weird one.”

  She frowns. “Again, flattered.” She tries to move me out of the way of her door, but I weigh two of her and it’s not happening. “This has been charming, Geoff, but I need to go. I have plans tonight.”

  “One of your fancy parties?”

  “Well. Yeah.”

  “Invite me.”

  “What?”

  “Invite me for once. Then I don’t have to crash it.”

  “I don’t think it’s your scene.”

  “What, think I’ll stink up the place?”

  Her eyes crinkle a little, and I think she might be amused, a bit. “No, not that. You’d just be bored.”

  “Let me spice it up then.”

  She blinks a few times, showing me a little of the nice, soft Amy that everyone else sees. “I guess I have been mean to you Geoff. Of course you’re invited. Do you know where I live?”

  I shrug. “Naw, let me drive you.” I jerk my head towards my bike.

  She raises one eyebrow in a subtle sneer. “No thanks. I’d rather not have—”

  “The open road? Wind in your hair?”

  “Flies in my teeth,” she finishes.

  Oh.

  “Meet you there then?”

  “Geoff, why do you want to?”

  I step out from in front of her door. Good question. “To spend time with you.”

  “I mean, why do you want to spend time with me?”

  Another good question. I’ll tell her half of the truth. “I like you.”

  “Is it really that simple for you? You just like someone, you just go after them?”

  “Uh, yeah.”

  She looks off in the distance, and wind picks up her hair and blows it around her face. I want to touch it, pull it back. I follow it down her shoulders, to her chest. Damn, don’t look at the boobs. Stop looking at the boobs. Now. She’s going to catch you.

  Luckily, I pull my gaze up before she turns back.

  “Sorry, what were we talking about?” she asks softly.

  Man, I want to hear more of that soft voice. I want to hear it whisper my name in the dark, her arms around my back. “Directions,” I choke out.

  She opens the door to her car. Rejected. She’s just gonna drive off and leave me in the parking lot with an awkward semi-erection and a pile of rejection.

  Instead, she pulls out a piece of paper, small and white and hands it to me. “Here, business card. Has my address.”

  Business card? “Fancy.”

  She laughs, a sweet, sweet noise I want to make happen again and again. “I suppose. It’s for my makeup business.”

  “You put that paint shit on people for a living?”

  “No, just for fun, mostly. I’m not going into it or anything.”

  “Why not? You like it?”

  She shrugs, a small blush coming to her cheeks. “I guess that doesn’t really matter. “In my family, you have to do something good for the world, not just something you like.”

  I frown. “I think you could do both.”

  “Well, you have the address. I guess I’ll see you tonight at ten.”

  “That’s a late party.”

  “It’s when my moms go to bed.”

  “Oh. Well don’t we have time to do dinner first?”

  “I need to prep.”

  “Shit, you’re a tough one, aren’t you?”

  She gives me a little smile that makes my knees weak. “If you say so.”

  “Well, lucky for you, I like a challenge.” I hold her door open so she can get in. “I’m coming for you, Amy.”

  She scowls and shuts the door, then rolls down her window and sticks her head out as she’s pulling out. “Neanderthal!”

  “You know,” I say, cupping my hands around my mouth, “That’s not even an insult. The Neanderthals were very manly specimens of manhood!”

  She wrinkles her nose and shakes her head and rolls the window up, and then pulls out of sight.

  I hop on my bike. Let the chase begin. The chase for the past, and the girl I’m interested in, at the same time.

  First I better go home and get into something sexy.

  Chapter 2

  I can’t believe I invited Geoff to one of my parties. It’s just not his scene, but he wouldn’t listen.

  I don’t know why he keeps trying, but it makes life a bit more interesting, so I can’t really complain. The party actually started a couple of hours ago, but I didn’t want Geoff here until my moms went to bed. I didn’t know what they’d think of him. I don’t know what I think of him.

  Annoying.

  It’s ten, so where is he? So damned persistent that you’d think he’d be here right at ten, banging my damned door down. But he’s late. Figures. Such a pig.

  Wine and dine me? Fat chance, when he can’t even show up to a party at ten o’clock at night.

  A knock sounds at the door. Finally. Not that I want him here, it’s just that I can’t stand the wait, the tension. As usual, people are dancing in the center of the floor and talking around the edges. Some are in the back yard goofing off. No one should be drinking, but it’s kind of a don’t ask don’t tell policy. My moms say if I drink they’d rather have me do it at home, but I’m not interested. I’m eighteen, too young for liver damage. I bet Geoff swills it like water.

  I’m not going to get the door. Let someone else open it for his late ass.

  “I’ll get it,” Sarah says. Sarah is short with blonde hair, and looks about fifteen even though she’s older than Knight. She just has young features, and a really small stature. She opens the door. “Geoff? What are you doing, I mean, hi!”

  Sarah looks back at me with super wide eyes, and I laugh and stand to join her at the door.

  Probably, Geoff has her speechless with some dumb comment or what he’s wearing. He’s a good looking guy, even if he ruins it most of the time when he opens his mouth.

  She moves out of the way and I can see she’s blushing at something Geoff said. That’s Geoff for you, offending womankind one woman at a time. But then I notice she’s smiling shyly. I frown.

  “Thanks Sarah, sorry to bother you,” he says. She nods and walks away, somewhat reluctantly. “I guess the host just couldn’t be bothered to open her own door?” He grins at me, grey eyes twinkling, and my heart stops.

  Just, full stop.

  So the dude can shower. Clean shaven, his face is breathtakingly handsome, his jaw clean and sharp. He’s wearing a nice, clean black tee, that’s tight on his biceps and chest and loosens up at his waist, where a nice, leather belt with an oversized buckle draws attention to tight hips. He slides his hands in his pockets, and I notice he’s wearing a chunky leather watch, which emphasizes the powerful muscles in his forearms. Nice jeans.

  Looks like a model from a motorcycle magazine. Edgy but hot.

  “Like what you see, Dollface?” His full lips turn up at the side, and one dark eyebrow bounces up and down at me. “Wanna go somewhere more private?”

  And there it is. The mouth. The douche. I sigh, as the image of Geoff the model gets pounded out of sight by Geoff the Neanderthal. “Oh no.”

  “Hey, just to get a closer look? I got pretty good abs under here,” he says, about to lift his shirt. Then he stops and rubs a hand over his stomach. “Ha ha, under here somewhere, probably a few burgers do
wn.”

  Looks pretty tight to me. Maybe not an eight pack, but not a gut. Maybe he’s self conscious because he doesn’t have the typical super toned swimmer body Knight and Ryan have.

  He rubs his stomach and pushes past me. “Speaking of which, there grub around here?”

  I sigh. “Of course. Go ahead. Why don’t you just bury that six pack a little deeper.”

  He frowns slightly, but then grins. “Okay, Dollface. Don’t mind if I do.” He disappears into the dancers and I feel a weird sense of guilt.

  Maybe I have never given the guy a fair chance. I should probably be nicer to him. I should probably not have taken my body issues out on him.

  I’m short and curvy and I’ll never be skinny, no matter how much I work out. I go to my room and look in the mirror. I lift up my shirt. No abs, just a small waist and a soft stomach that sticks out a bit all around no matter what. Huge breasts. Big butt. It’s not going to change. I won’t look fit like Rain or Ally. Why try?

  But I didn’t have to pick on Geoff for it. Besides, I should go down and make sure he’s welcome. He doesn’t know anyone here, and he’s probably sitting alone somewhere…

  Raucous laughter sounds from the living room, and I sigh and follow it.

  “CHUG. CHUG. CHUG. CHUG.” People are chanting. Five or six of them are in the room around Geoff, who seems to be trying to put down the rest of a liter of root beer, presumably for the dollars scattered on the ground around him.

  How was he here for ten minutes and managed to turn this into a frat party?

  He stops and pulls the bottle off, bends over, hand on his knee, and gasps, then grins at the guys next to him, and goes for the rest of it. Ew.

  He finishes and throws the bottle aside, and I growl and run to swipe it before anything can spill on the carpet.

  He puts his hand on his chest, burps, and looks down. “Whoops, sorry Dollface, didn’t see you there.”

  “Apparently.” I stand up and take the bottle to the kitchen while Geoff high fives his new cronies.

  I don’t want a guy who chugs. If I want a guy, I want him refined, someone who sips wine with me on the weekends, and visits vineyards.

  Another burp sounds behind me. Prince charming followed me into the kitchen. “Yo, you okay?”

  “Fine. Just fine.”

  “You don’t allow chugging contests?”

  “I think,” I say, opening the fridge to pull out another two liter, “that it takes more than one person to make it a contest. Otherwise, it’s just someone making a pig of themselves.”

  He thumps his chest and hiccups. “Well excuse me for being a man.”

  I shove the two liter into his chest and throw up my hands. “Exactly why I detest men.”

  “Seems like a sorry reason,” he says, following me. “Seems to me like you should have better reasons for hating a whole gender.”

  “Gender, that’s a big word for you isn’t it?”

  His eyebrows lower in anger. “Two syllables ain’t exactly tricky, even for a Neanderthal.”

  The door sounds again. Wasn’t expecting anyone else late. It couldn’t be…

  “Want me to get that? After I take this out, I mean?”

  I shake my head. “No, I got it.” Whenever I’m not expecting someone, I have to expect it might be that person. I can’t handle it right now. He’s been stalking me since last year, since I lost him his job, and I can’t deal with him and the Neanderthal at the same time.

  “You know who it is? You’re making a scary face.” He looks over at the door, a curious look on his handsome features. “Want me to bounce ‘em?”

  “No,” I say quickly. “I got it. I mean, I don’t know who it is. I’ll deal with it in a sec.”

  He studies me, his grey eyes making me slightly warm as he stares down at me. He’s just so large. I can’t help that I kind of like it. For a second, I think about telling him about Mike. But then I shake it off. Ridiculous idea.

  “Go serve drinks,” I say. “Make yourself useful.”

  He sends one more look at the door, and then nods and heads back into the living room. I take a deep breath and go to the front door. It’s been months since he tried to show up. Sometimes he goes away for months at a time, sometimes it’s weeks.

  Psycho.

  I look through the keyhole and my stomach sinks. As if he knows I’m there, he pops forward in front of the keyhole, one pale green eye coming far too close, startling me and forcing me back from the door.

  I can remember those green eyes staring down at me, when I was drunk, or roofied, and unable to push him off. Remember that if Rain hadn’t come…I shudder.

  I should have told my moms the first time he contacted me, but I didn’t know what to say. They’d want to know more about that night. They’d want to press charges. It was my fault. I was too flirtatious, I wasn’t watching my drink, I was basically inviting him all night. I don’t want any trouble from anyone.

  Sometimes I do wish I’d had a dad. I don’t want to be ungrateful. My parents are the kind any would wish for. But I don’t really understand men. I understand women, almost too well, but I don’t get guys, and I don’t really have anyone to ask about them.

  I guess I could tell Knight, but he’d tell Rain, and she’d want to tell my moms or go to the police. I sigh. I’ll handle it. Kill ‘em with kindness. That’s the answer. Maybe we can talk like adults. I open the door.

  He moves back from the pinhole. He looks the same as he always does. Thin, blonde hair. Green eyes. Nice clothes. How was I so duped? He glares up at me.

  “Amy. Didn’t invite me to your party.”

  I bite my lip. “Mike, you need to stop following me.”

  “Who said I was following you? Can’t I see my old coworkers? Or are you going to take that from me, too?”

  There are dark circles under his eyes. Seems like he may have been drinking. “It’s not my fault you were fired,” I say.

  “Yeah. Sure. I believe you.” He cracks the knuckles in one of his hands. “Just like you didn’t want it.”

  “I didn’t.”

  “Got a funny way of showing it. Slut.”

  I scowl and raise my hand to slap him, but he catches it and pulls me forward, too close to his face. His breath stinks. I try to pull away but he jerks on my hand again. “You gonna invite me in? Or you want me to embarrass you right here on this porch.”

  I shake my head and try to pull my hand back. “You can come in.” At least I won’t be alone with him there. And hopefully like other times, he’ll just disappear when he’s satisfied that he’s scared me enough. I can be such a spitfire with Geoff. I wish I could be the same with Mike, but he scares me. He’s scared me for a long time.

  He lets me go. “Okay.” He goes inside, strides straight into the front room, to the drink table. I follow at a distance, trying to survey the room and see who I still have here and how many. I’ll need to follow him closely, which is exactly what he wants. It’s a power play, and it’s working. My heart is pounding.

  “No beer?” he knocks over a cup, but before I can jump forward, it is caught by Geoff, who stares at Mike with a look I can’t read. They lock eyes for a moment, then Geoff smiles and chucks the cup in the nearby trash can.

  “Careful. Amy doesn’t like messes,” he says quietly, drawing up to full height to stare down at Mike.

  Mike’s eyes narrow in a sneer, but then his face changes. Wiped clean, like a chalkboard after an eraser is swiped across it. He scares me most like that.

  Geoff stares at me now, as Mike turns away to go to the couch behind me. He presses his lips together and gives me a questioning look. I shrug, because I don’t know what he’s asking.

  My hand is grabbed and I’m yanked backwards onto the couch. No, onto Mike. I quickly shuffle to the side of him and he locks an arm around me.

  Most of the people here are acquaintances. Ally and Rain couldn’t make it. I’m sure some of them have heard the rumors. I can see at least a couple leani
ng to whisper to each other. Damnit. Mike’s hand is like a snake made out of iron, coiling around my waist.

  Nothing about this is attractive at all. I hate men. Gross. I hate them, I hate them.

  I look up to see Geoff watching again, with that unreadable face. Another girl is talking to him, laughing as she says something, but his eyes lock on mine. I get the sense they are almost pleading with me for something. I don’t know what he wants. Why he’s watching so intently. Because Mike got here before he could? Because this is what he wanted to do as well? All men are the same.

  I shrug at him and he shakes his head angrily and grabs another cup and takes a seat next to another girl, who smiles and puts her hand on his knee. He doesn’t seem happy, but takes a deep breath and turns to her with a smile.

  Just how often are his smiles put on like that, fake?

  “Leading a guy on again, I see,” Mike says, tightening his hand around my waist.

  Everything in me tightens up. I’m a feminist. Everything in me is against this, so why don’t I throw him off?

  Maybe because deep down I know he’s bigger, and I can’t, and if I don’t aggravate him further, I have a better chance of him not using his strength against me.

  I don’t think women are weaker, and I’ve been taught we aren’t. Maybe if I was a girl like Ally, muscled and hard, I could hold my own.

  But instead I’ll have to use brains, and just try to placate him. Just for once, I wish I was big like Geoff. I could squash Mikes like bugs.

  Geoff. He’s now got an arm around the blonde next to him, who’s flirting back and getting close. I guess he can be charming, in his own Neanderthal way.

  “Hope he doesn’t lose his job too,” Mike says, glancing at Geoff.

  “If he doesn’t try to assault me, he won’t,” I say, more quietly than I want to. I want to scream it at the top of my lungs while jabbing my fingers right into his eyes. But I can’t. Too scared. And I’m ashamed of myself for being so.

  I try to stand, and he pulls me back. “I need to use the bathroom.”

  He narrows his eyes on me, green and snake-like. “Don’t pull anything.”

  “I’m not. I just need to go.”

  He lets me go, but whispers at my back. “Don’t fuck with me Amy. You won’t like it if you fuck with me again.”