by Max Hudson
Jake didn’t respond, pushing past him and heading to the front door. He had to get Dave out of the house before he broke and gave this man more than he could handle.
“Pretty words, Dave. But they sound like a ‘you’ problem. I’m not interested.”
He had to be cruel to be kind. There was no other way.
“Look me in the eye when you lie. Maybe I’ll believe you then.”
The words forced an unexpected chuckle from Jake’s throat as he recalled that these were the very words he had thrown at Dave just before he had kissed him the first time. Brave. As. Fuck!
“You can’t handle me,” he said instead of dragging Dave’s lips to his, the way he wanted to. “And I don’t have time to teach you how.” Because it would take forever, and I know you’re only in this for the one-stop thrill.
“Never thought a tough soldier like you could be such a pussy.”
Jake snapped. “Fuck you, asshole!” he growled, dragging Dave up against his body, kissing him hungrily, all the passion and furious need he had been holding at bay washing over him, making his skin pop with sweat as his body heated.
Giving Dave no time to change his mind, Jake kissed him again, owning his tongue, searching out the secret places that would make the man in his arms go up in flames. Dave’s moans as he suckled him and licked his lips and trailed his tongue over his cheekbones to his ears matched his own need. Jake backed him out of the hallway into the living room, and lowered him to the floor before the fireplace. Then he possessed his mouth again before reaching down to palm his cock through his slacks.
“You wanna play chicken with me? You just crashed, buddy.”
Dave’s smile tore Jake apart. It was full of acceptance and want.
“Do your worst, big guy.”
Neither man was prepared for the savagery of Jake’s lovemaking. Between ravenous kisses, he managed to strip Dave and plant kisses everywhere his lips could reach. His body screamed at him to just take what they both wanted, no finesse, no softness, but some deeply hidden desire for more had Jake holding back, leaving hickeys, sucking Dave off until he screamed in orgasmic bliss and collapsed beneath Jake’s expert touch.
Breathing rapidly, his body hard as stone, Jake slid his mouth next to Dave’s ears and whispered, “You ain’t seen nothin’ yet.”
And then he rolled Dave over onto his belly and raised his hips, dragging a cushion off the sofa and propping it beneath him. Knowing he needed to show Dave what was possible between them, but aware that he couldn’t go all the way, Jake did the next best thing.
“Don’t move!”
He surged to his feet, rushing to find something to ease his way into the man waiting for him on his living room floor. Before Dave could miss him, Jake was back and dripping baby oil in his crack over his hole, spreading it with badly shaking fingers. He hadn’t touched another man in a very long while, and the anticipation was killing him. Dave hissed when he caressed him, and when he pushed the tip of a finger against it, Dave’s whole body tensed.
“Now who’s a pussy?” Jake growled, and pressed against it again. “Relax. I won’t hurt you.”
A few more soft caresses and Jake pushed his finger in, feeling Dave’s muscles fluttering in resistance. He waited as patiently as he could for Dave to relax, and he pushed in a bit more. The sounds emanating from the man beneath his hand made him pause to catch a breath, and palm his cock, stroking it to ease the need surging through him.
“Ready for more?”
Dave nodded and raised his hips. Fuck! This guy was gonna kill him for sure. He pushed in, feeling how tight Dave’s walls were around his finger as he searched slowly and patiently for the spot that he knew would make Dave forget to be afraid. He knew when he found it. Dave cried out in anguished pleasure.
“Like that, huh?”
Satisfaction slammed into Jake at Dave’s whispered assent, and he withdrew so he could try two fingers. The way was easier this time, and when he stroked Dave’s prostate, he moaned. Impatient for more, Jake flipped him again, and reached for Dave’s cock with one hand while he sent his fingers back inside to push him higher.
“Oh fuck! Shit!” Dave was almost incoherent as Jake pleasured him.
Releasing his cock, Jake settled his hand over Dave’s balls, barking out a command. “Touch yourself!”
He watched greedily as Dave pumped his cock, thrusting his hips up to push it into his fist. Jake matched Dave’s rhythm as he stroked in and out of him, and before long, Dave was coming again, howling out his completion. Jake slid down and took Dave’s still pulsing cock into his mouth, sucking down his jizz thirstily. He unzipped his pants and released his own rod, thrusting it wildly into his fist. His orgasm slammed into him, tipping him hard over the edge as he spurted onto Dave’s belly.
Only after he lay back, his arm across his eyes, did Jake realize that he was still fully dressed. His body still trembled from the force of his orgasm, his mind was still noisy with need and dread, and the man at his side was now quiet after his second orgasm. What the hell had just happened? Jake had told him to leave. Why had they ended up on his floor, sweaty and breathless, and now awkwardly silent? Fuck! This was just what he hadn’t wanted. He closed his eyes, wishing he could recall everything he had just done, not because he hadn’t liked it, but because he had liked it way too much. And it had obviously been too much for Dave. He snapped them back open, sitting up at the rustling sound near him.
Dave had stood up, his ass muscled and lush, his cock impressive even deflated, and was gathering his clothes. Jake couldn’t tear his eyes away from him. Dave didn’t look at Jake as he dressed, and only when he had all his clothes on again did he speak into the heavy silence.
“I have to go.”
Jake had no words to offer in response. He was still reeling from his first sexual encounter with another human being in more than two years. And it had been more satisfying than he had imagined. He wanted to do it again, and more. But it had left a gaping abyss yawning between him and the man now finally facing him. He stood up, needing to be on even footing with the man who was about to crush him.
“I shouldn’t have come here.”
No shit, Sherlock.
“That…shouldn’t have happened.”
You’re telling me.
“Maybe I need to find a different artist to work with as well. We don’t seem to be good for each other.”
Speak for yourself, buddy.
Dave huffed out a breath, but Jake forestalled him. This time, Dave had to go.
“Yeah…maybe you do.”
He walked back to his front door, zipping himself up as he went, and opened it. Making sure to keep his expression blank, he waited until Dave walked through. Then he closed it, not wanting to see where Dave went, or what he did. He himself was on the verge of collapse, and he slid down to the floor, his legs suddenly unable to support him. So much for making new friends. He had fucked up and been stupid enough to think he might have found someone he could make a real connection with. Not only had he blown any chance he might have had with Dave, but chances were, he had also lost a client. And now the crushing anger and guilt that he had been carrying around for two years were joined by overwhelming despair.
Chapter Six
Lightning flashed and thunder rumbled as Dave stepped out of the cab. A quick dash into the building meant he didn’t need to open his umbrella, but it didn’t stop him from getting wet enough to be uncomfortable. Brushing water from his hair and clothes, he walked into the elevator and emerged on the fifth floor, smiling at the receptionist on his way to Emma’s office. The proofs for the novel were ready for his review, and he had needed to get away from his apartment and out of his head, so he happily agreed to come in and work from the office for a while. He’d do the rest at home, but there was little time to dawdle, and he and the freelance proofreader they hired for his novel could work seamlessly together anywhere. He was confident that there was very little left to do before printing, bu
t it always paid to be careful.
The door to Emma’s office swung open and Dave froze. Jake stepped out, followed closely by Emma, his hand outstretched. He was smiling, and Dave shuddered at the sight of the upward curve of his lips, the flash of his pearly whites, the tattoo that he could glimpse peeking out from beneath the sleeve of his shirt. Jake’s jeans fit him like a glove, making Dave’s mouth water as he imagined what it might have looked like had he managed not to panic and run away from Jake and any possibility of a relationship of any sort with him two days ago.
He stepped into a cubicle to his right, glad it was empty, and waited for the sound of Jake’s footsteps to disappear. Then he waited some more until the ding of the elevator told him Jake was gone before he emerged and walked the rest of the way to Emma’s office, feeling like the biggest idiot, and hoping no one had seen that ridiculous byplay.
“Would you like to work in here?” Emma asked after greeting him.
“If it would be okay with you, yes.”
She put the manuscript on the work table in front of him as it would appear in final printing and he set to work. He could almost recite the words by heart, a testament to how often he had gone over it in recent weeks. He hoped the work would distract him from the bitter recriminations that had plagued him for the last two days. But seeing Jake had made that difficult at best, and eventually he gave it up, faking a forgotten appointment as his reason for leaving. Technically, he didn’t need to be there to review the proofs, anyway.
What the hell was he going to do about the man who had completely taken over his thoughts by day and his dreams at night? He’d never been so thoroughly loved before in his life. The things Jake Pratt knew how to do to a body…and Dave knew they hadn’t done everything they could have done to each other. The thought of all he had missed out on with Jake made his throat ache. He wished he had someone he could ask about what he was feeling, and what it meant to be so wound up by the mere thought of a man he hadn’t met in the flesh but three times.
More memories assailed him as rushed into the Uber that pulled up at the curb for him. The scene played out on rewind in his head as the cab crawled through traffic. Jake kissing him, sucking on his neck, nipping his nipples. Jake sending a probing finger up his ass to that spot Dave hadn’t known existed as a pleasure point till Jake made him scream and cum shot out of his dick. Jake sucking down his cum greedily, all the while staring into his eyes.
He adjusted himself and turned his eyes out to the wet day, watching as people trudged through the downpour and vehicles splashed heedlessly through large puddles made by the pouring rain. Nothing could keep his mind from Jake. The water that the wipers of the windshield fought tirelessly to clear reminded him of the jets of semen that Jake had pumped onto his belly, coating his skin in warm, wet passion. He wished he had let himself touch it, feel the silk of it before he wiped it away with his underwear. Driving home commando had been an exercise in supreme sexual torture, and by the time he had walked into his apartment, he had been hard as stone again and ready for Jake.
Jake…he had to forget him, unless he was going to pursue him. And how would he do that when he had never even felt the urge to look twice at a hot guy before? If this was what it meant to be gay, he was in a world of trouble, because he had no roadmap for how to seduce a man. And what would he tell his mother? She wanted grandkids, and a daughter-in-law, not another son. What would his dad have thought about him wanting to fuck Jake Pratt into next week, to be with him until he could figure out whether it was just sex or whether something more could come of it?
No answers came to him as the cab pulled up outside his apartment building. He paid mindlessly and rushed into the building, narrowly missing his neighbor, who leered at him, his eyes roaming boldly up and down Dave’s body. The look made Dave shiver, but not in the same way that Jake’s gaze did, and he glared at the man, who only smirked at him as he walked by with his dog. In his apartment, he could see why the guy was staring lustfully. His clothes stuck to his skin, his slacks making no secret of his aroused state, his erection straining the zipper. He stripped hastily, shivering in the cold air of the apartment, and dumped the clothes in the washer. Dressed in dry shorts and a muscle vest, he made himself coffee and sat with the hot brew at his kitchen table looking out at the storm-tossed grounds.
He almost didn’t hear his cell phone ring.
“Yeah.”
“Is that any way to answer your phone, Dave?”
Cindy sounded amused rather than annoyed, and Dave forced a laugh. “Sorry. Was just preoccupied. What’s up, Sis?”
“We need a babysitter for this weekend. Can you help us out? It’s our wedding anniversary this Saturday, and Dan managed to exchange weekends with another nurse on his floor. We haven’t had a holiday together since the kids were small. I know this is presumptuous of me, Dave, and you know I wouldn’t…”
Dave cut her off. What did he care if his life was just writing and babysitting his sister’s kids? It wasn’t like he had a man of his own…the unbidden thought startled him out of his stupor, and he hastened to agree.
“It’s okay, Cindy. You know I don’t mind. I can work anywhere. Are you gonna bring them here, or do I come to you?”
“Can we bring them there? You have a pool and a basketball court. They’ll be occupied between all that and their birthday gifts. And there’s always your big-screen TV.”
Dave chuckled, genuinely amused. “Okay, Sis. When should I expect them?”
“Friday morning okay? Dan had Friday off originally, so this gives us three days and two nights together.”
“Friday morning’s fine. I’ll make sure to stock up on food.”
“I’ll make dinner for one night. You can spoil them with pizza the other night.”
“Sounds like a plan.”
“Thanks, Dave. I owe you one.”
“You owe me nothing but love, Sis.”
He was unaware that he had sighed until Cindy asked, “Why the heavy sigh? Problems in your love life?”
Another sigh. Love life? If only. “I wish,” he said. “Nothing…just feeling gray, like the afternoon.”
“You do know you’re a hot guy, don’t you, Dave? And you could have anyone you choose?”
Dave sputtered. “My sister is the last person I expect to be telling me I’m hot!” he protested. “Does Dan even know you’re looking at other men?”
Better to distract her before he said something he shouldn’t, like he knew a hot guy who put him in the shade.
“You’re not other men. You’re my brother; you don’t count. I’m allowed to look all I want. Someone has to get you out of your head, and it may as well be me, seeing as I don’t care how hot you are.”
“Thanks for worrying about me, even though I don’t count as a man,” he said sarcastically, “but I’m fine. Now I gotta run. Work calls.”
Yeah, run away, Davey boy. Cindy won’t get any secrets from you today.
“You’re hiding something,” she announced, and Dave’s self-congratulation stuttered to a halt in his head.
He tried to laugh it off. “What could I possibly be hiding?”
“You’ve met someone.”
“I’ve met a lot of people. Just the other day I met a cool artist. I told you about him, remember? Next thing you know, you’ll be telling me I’ve got a thing for him.”
What the fuck? Shut up! Shut the hell up, Dave!
“So? What if he were the one you had a crush on? Do you think I’d care? D’you think anyone in the family would care? We just want you to be happy, Dave, and we know you’re not, despite all the money you’re making.”
Dave tried desperately to find his voice, to say something into the silence stretching over the wires. He couldn’t believe he was having this conversation with his sister. How the hell had this happened? He tried to respond, and failed. He swallowed and tried again.
“Don’t be an idiot, Cindy! Have you ever seen me with a guy?”
“
No. But again, so what? You could be bi, and just not know it.” She paused, and Dave waited like a condemned man for anything else she might add. “Would it bother you to find out you like guys, too?”
It only bothers me that the one I like probably thinks I’m an asshole. “No…I dunno, maybe.” He dragged a hand through his damp hair. “Look, why are we even talking about this? Nothing’s happening. There is no one, male or female, okay?”
By the end of the lie, he was almost shouting. A dead giveaway. He should have known better than to start this whole conversation.
“Dave, you’re an intelligent guy. You’re a writer, for crying out loud! How can you be so narrow-minded? What if the person who would make you happy is some guy? Would you really shut him down because you’re scared to come out as bi? Are you that shallow?”
His sister’s questions battered him, like sharp rocks slung against his soul. He probably had been this way his whole life, and now, when it mattered, he was chickening out. Fuck, he was so screwed!
“Look, I’m sorry, Dave. I didn’t mean to upset you. But will you please think about what I’ve said? Please? Don’t shut down if it’s a guy, okay? And when you’re ready to talk to me, I’m here. I promise I won’t say anything to anyone. If it’s a guy, just don’t fuck it up. Give it a chance. Promise me!”
He and Cindy had always been the closest, given that they were only fifteen months apart. She could read him like a book. He knew there was no use denying any of the things she had said, and he knew she wouldn’t let it go until she was satisfied that he would do the right thing. But what was the right thing now, with Jake? He wished he knew.
“I promise.”
After the call, he willed himself to forget about Jake until the review of his novel was complete. It seemed easier to do, and he wondered, when he stopped to wolf down pizza and beer, whether his conversation with Cindy was the reason. She always had a way of helping him see things more clearly, and he always functioned better when things were clear.