I frowned at him and climbed inside the vehicle. “I felt too good after drinking that woman’s blood to let the nastier emotions take over.” It was the truth. I still felt good, like I could run a marathon around the city and not even break a sweat.
Roman closed my door and circled the SUV, stopping to deposit his rifle in back. Then he stripped out of his tactical vest before climbing into the driver’s seat. Several agents were scattered down the street at various alley openings. Their black ops uniforms blended into the shadows, and I was sure they could make themselves near invisible if Vanessa ordered them to.
“I don’t understand why she thinks I blew this,” I said, folding my arms as I slumped in my seat.
Roman sighed. “Don’t take it personally. She’s more disappointed with me than you. I recommended you for the job, after all.”
“Oh, that makes me feel so much better.” I snorted and glanced out my window, trying to see down the alley we’d just exited.
“I called your name four times while you were in that booth,” he said, a sliver of annoyance entering his voice. “The radio interference didn’t become a problem until you went into the furniture warehouse.”
“I heard you,” I insisted. Heat filled my face again.
“Really?” Roman turned in his seat and gave me a dry smile. “Then you should remember the description of the suspect I gave you while you were in there.” When I didn’t respond, he started the engine and pulled out of the lot.
The angst and anxiety bubbling in my chest only grew worse as I stewed in a toxic blend of emotions. Shame and hopelessness pushed to the forefront as the spell of Lydia’s blood tapered off. I bit my tongue, desperate to fix this mess I’d landed myself in, but not quite able to summon a solution in the wake of my epic failure.
“I’m sorry,” I said after we’d traveled a few miles in silence.
Roman gripped the steering wheel and cleared his throat. “It’s not your fault. It’s mine. You’re too fresh. I should have known better.”
“I want another chance.” I ignored the skeptical glance he shot at me.
“You’re not ready,” he said, following it up with a heavy sigh. “You can’t even feed without losing your senses entirely. You should master that first.”
The memory of the woman in the club made my heart burn like charcoal. “You told me to feed on the job. You said it would help with my cover.”
“Yes, but you have to be able to do so while staying sharp and perceptive of your surroundings.” When he noticed my dismay, he added, “Most vamplings struggle with that. It’s the reason so few sires vouch for them until they’ve had at least half a century of practice. It doesn’t help that you haven’t been feeding properly to begin with.” I flinched at the accusation before thinking better of it, and he gave me a humorless grin. “You won’t stand a chance on Blood Vice if you continue to starve yourself. Not only will you be distracted and vulnerable, but you’ll also be a liability to the core mission of the force.”
“Which would be what, exactly?” I scoffed. “To make sure sleazy vampires get away with crimes for the sake of maintaining secrecy?”
Roman lifted an eyebrow and gave me a sideways glance. “If that’s what you think we do, then why are you so desperate to be a part of it?”
I folded my arms and turned to look out the passenger window. He had me there. The truth was too embarrassing to give voice to. If I wanted any semblance of my human career—the career I’d strived to excel at and honor my mother with for the past decade—Blood Vice was my only option.
“Step away from your ego for a moment,” Roman said as he turned the SUV down my street. “And really think about what would happen if humans were suddenly, as a whole, made aware of vampires and the like. Walk through that scenario, and tell me what the final outcome looks like to you.”
I snorted and refused to look at him. I could do without his patronizing tone, but I had to admit, the hypothetical situation chilled my blood.
It would be mass hysteria. Widespread panic at best. There would be riots—probably on both sides of the fence. The human police and government would attempt to dismantle the vampire hierarchy, at least until they crossed the wrong vampire, and then it would be outright war. It wouldn’t be over until the humans were reduced to nothing more than cattle. Or until every last vampire was set out to fry in the sun.
Roman caught my worried reflection in the windshield as we pulled into my driveway. “It will never happen,” he said, sounding more reassuring than he probably intended to. “Blood Vice will make sure of it.”
“Then that’s a just enough cause for me to want in.” I turned in my seat, giving him my full attention. “I want another chance. I’ll do whatever it takes. I’ll feed the right way, even if it means going back to that club every night.”
Roman’s shoulders tensed. “You won’t be allowed back in that club. Your picture has likely been added to their black list already. Besides, do you really want to feed in a club where so many vamplings are going missing?”
“Then I’ll find another club,” I said, waving my hand. “This is St. Louis. You said there were thousands of vampires in this city. There have to be more clubs like that one.”
“Don’t you know any humans you can trust?” Roman asked. His crystal blue eyes turned up to me, filling with pity that grated on my shriveled pride. “That mutt would be ideal—”
“Mandy,” I said through gritted teeth. “She’s just a girl, and she’s already made it perfectly clear that she’s unwilling. Also, I am not feeding on children.”
Roman’s jaw flexed. “And your morgue doctor? What about him?”
I sucked in a tight breath, and my eyes dropped down to the console between us. Any time I considered drinking from Vin, I thought back to the night Roman had dragged my broken body across the front seat of his SUV and cradled me in his arms before pressing his wrist to my mouth.
My heart hammered, and my cheeks filled with fire at the memory. I sensed Roman’s sudden discomfort, too. When I glanced up, I could see the same memory playing out behind his eyes.
“I’m afraid of hurting him,” I confessed.
“You’ll have to get past that.” Roman’s voice had gone soft again. “You can’t be afraid to live, Jenna.”
“That’s easier said than done, especially since I’m already dead.” I smirked, trying to lighten the tense mood. Roman’s serious eyes didn’t stray from mine.
“Surviving as a vampire is quite an involved process, and joining Blood Vice entails a lot more than simple survival.”
“Whatever it takes,” I repeated, meaning it wholeheartedly.
Roman sighed and glanced out his window as one of my neighbor's cars grumbled to life. My wristwatch buzzed next, signaling the coming day. A purple haze lit the eastern horizon. It wouldn’t be long now.
I waited, not wanting to give up for any reason, least of all for something as predictable and beyond my control as the sunrise. I felt like Roman was waiting for it, too. Waiting to let it dismiss me so he wouldn’t have to.
“There’s a house party,” he said, squeezing the steering wheel with both hands. “Thursday night. It’s being hosted by one of the duke’s emissaries. Vanessa is a close, personal friend of his, so she and her harem—including me—have been invited. I don’t normally attend these social functions, but Vanessa has asked that I go in her stead to offer an extra measure of security.”
“You think Buffy will make a showing there?” I asked.
“Buffy?” Roman frowned at me. “We’re not in the habit of giving serial killers pet names in Blood Vice.”
I shrugged. “Sorry.”
“But, yes, there is a slight possibility that the killer will target a party of this size.” He inhaled a slow breath and pressed his lips together as he looked at me. “I’m allowed to bring a guest—”
“Yes,” I answered before he could muster the nerve to ask. “I’ll be your plus one. Pick me up at ten?” I asked a
s I opened my door. If I waited much longer, I wouldn’t have the strength to make it inside the house.
“Jenna.” Roman gaped after me. “This could be nothing. I’m only offering so you have a chance to mingle with some of your own kind.”
I nodded. “Sure, and I appreciate it.”
“Good—”
“But if the killer happens to show, and I happen to help take her down, then that would earn me an interview for Blood Vice, don’t you think?”
“Jenna.” Roman sighed and ran a hand through his short hair.
“Is there a dress code?” I asked before he could launch into one of his broody lectures.
“Vanessa said cocktail casual, whatever that means.” He grimaced. “And I’ll pick you up at eleven.”
“Eleven. Check.” I gave him a small salute and closed the door, grateful that I still had the energy to manage the feat. My limbs felt like they were solidifying into blocks of ice, despite the muggy August air. I pressed a hand to the hood of the SUV as I walked around it and headed up the sidewalk toward the porch.
Roman rolled down his window. “Jenna?”
“Yeah?” I paused and glanced over my shoulder.
“Eat a proper dinner before the party.”
The air rushed out of my lungs. I didn’t know what to say, and even if I had, there was no time. I nodded and turned away from him, making my way to the porch as fast as my stiff legs would carry me.
Laura met me at the door. “Cutting it a little close, aren’t we?” Her scowl disappeared when I fell into her arms.
“Help me to my room,” I rasped. My eyelids were heavy, and I could barely keep them open. Laura grunted as I lost feeling in my legs, and she bore my full weight.
“Mandy!” she shouted.
If the girl were home, the two of them wouldn’t have too much trouble wrestling me into bed. At least, that’s what I was counting on. I wasn’t going to be any help. The sun was up, and so was my time.
Chapter Thirteen
I dreamed of the woman from the club. Lydia. It was the most vivid dream I’d experienced as a vampire, besides the ones that featured Roman.
Even though I knew right away that it was a dream—we were in the barn stall where I’d found Mandy after Scarlett’s thugs had taken her—I felt enthralled by the call of Lydia’s blood. She lay nude on the straw floor, beckoning me to join her with the crook of a finger.
I did, and I fed from her, but the taste of her blood was a shadow of what it had been in real life. Still, I drew from her as if she were a bottomless well, my hunger never quite dissipating. Desperation and panic filled me as much as her blood did. What if I couldn’t stop? What if I was never truly sated again? What if I couldn’t survive this horrifying new lifestyle without a sire?
I expected to wake covered in sweat and gasping for air, but as usual, my eyes simply blinked open, and I was some version of alive again, my senses and limbs slowly waking with the departure of the sun. Voices erupted in chaos around my bedroom, and I realized the lights were on.
Mandy’s razor-sharp tongue was the first I recognized. “If you touch those fucking curtains, I will break your fingers. I’m not even playing. Try me.”
“I have to call this in, Laura,” Collins’ strained voice was a surprise.
“Just five more minutes,” Laura pleaded with him. “She’ll be up any second now, I swear.”
“This is lunacy.” He sounded as if he’d been crying.
“You have no idea.” I winced at his shriek and propped myself up on my elbows. Collins stumbled away from the bed.
“What the hell is wrong with you people?” He pointed a finger at me. “Do you think this is funny? Making me believe you were dead?”
“I am dead. Though I don’t see how that’s any business of yours.”
Laura leaned against the doorframe, nervously stroking Duncan as he whimpered in her arms. “I tried to stop him, but he forced his way inside,” she said. I was suddenly grateful that she’d never had to do any real work while filling in for me on the job.
“Trespassing, Collins?” I lifted an eyebrow. “What would the captain say?”
His finger stabbed the air again. “He wouldn’t say jack shit because he fired me. Thanks to you.”
From the brown pants, I’d assumed he had just gotten off work, though he’d already stripped down to the white tee shirt he wore under his uniform, and all the standard gear was missing from his belt, including his gun holster.
“I’ve been here, dead asleep, all day,” I said. “How am I responsible for you getting fired?”
“I stuck up for you, like always, and I paid the piper for it today.” Collins’ face twisted with embarrassed outrage, his eyebrows lifting as they drew together. “I think I deserve better than a death prank.”
My dry laughter only seemed to anger him further.
“I wish this were a prank,” I said. “I really do.”
“Jenna—” He clenched his teeth and closed his eyes before taking a shaky breath. “So help me, if you don’t quit this nonsense, our friendship—whatever’s left of it—is over. For good.”
“You’d be safer that way.” It pained me to say it, but it was the truth. If I really cared about Collins, I should’ve let him think I was a terrible person who pulled death pranks on the few friends gullible enough to stick their necks out for her.
Collins shook his head in disbelief. When he opened his eyes to look at me again, they were red-rimmed and glossy with unshed tears. “What have I ever done to you to deserve being treated this way?”
I sighed and glanced across the room at Mandy. She glowered at me.
“I am not a show dog you can command to perform tricks whenever it suits you.” She folded her arms.
“I’m not commanding.” I clasped my hands together. “I’m asking. I’m begging,” I added when her eyes narrowed.
Collins’ eyes darted between us, confusion layering on top of the anger and sadness plaguing his expression. “Who is this kid? Child Services doesn’t have a record of her placement with you. I checked.”
“You checked?” I wanted to be offended at his snooping, but considering that his suspicions were well-founded, I didn’t really have a leg to stand on.
Collins lifted an eyebrow at me as if to say well?
“You know her better as Star,” I said, pushing the covers back and throwing my legs over the edge of the mattress. Lying down while everyone stood around looking somber and uneasy made me feel like I was on my deathbed. Which, technically, I was, but if I were going to take a chewing from Collins, I was at least going to do it at eye level.
He glared at me as I stood. “First, a death prank, and now you think you’re going to convince me your illegitimate foster kid is a dog?”
“Wolf,” Mandy corrected him. “Werewolf, if we’re laying it all out now.” She gave me another loathing glare.
Collins snorted. “And what about you, Laura? Are you secretly a unicorn?”
Laura’s hand froze on Duncan’s head, and she glanced at Mandy. “Do those exist?”
The girl shrugged one shoulder. “I’ve heard stories, but I’ve never seen one myself.”
“You people kill me.” Collins shook his head and turned for the door. His lip curled up in a silent snarl when Laura didn’t move out of his way.
“Glitter Sparkle Pants!” Mandy said suddenly, drawing a surprised breath from Collins.
“Excuse me?”
“That’s what you called your husband on the phone,” she said. “I overheard last week when you caught me peeing behind the station.”
Collins’ face flushed, and he swallowed as he shot me a hateful look. “Why would you share that?”
“Hey.” I held my hands up. “I didn’t share anything.”
Mandy groaned at Collins’ resistance and tried again. “You still chew nicotine gum, even though you hide it from everyone.”
Collins teeth clenched, and his eyes bulged. He was becoming unnerved. I c
ould see it in the square of his shoulders.
“You press the chewed globs to the underside of your desk. It’s disgusting.” Mandy stuck her tongue out. “I saw every time Jenna walked me through the station. It’s a whole different, repulsive world when viewed from two feet off the ground.”
“Are you part of the cleaning crew?” Collins squinted at her. “Is that where I’ve seen you before?”
Mandy’s shoulders sagged, and she growled softly. Then she stepped in closer to Collins and took a deep breath. “You ate fried chicken and had a cream soda for dinner, and—” a sharp grin sliced across her face “—and you had relations today.”
Collins blanched. “Are you following me? What the hell is this?” He looked back to me for an answer. “Why do you have this girl tailing me?”
I sighed and crossed the room toward him, opening my mouth wide. As expected, he leaned away from me and made a face. Before he could ask what I was doing, I pointed both index fingers up at my exposed eye teeth. Then I forced them out of my gums the way I practiced when I brushed them.
“The fuck!” Collins stumbled backward and into Mandy.
“Watch it,” she snapped. She gave him a shove and moved to stand in front of my open closet door.
Collins made to exit the bedroom again, and this time, Laura let him. I trailed behind as he fled down the hallway.
“Do you believe me now?” I called after him. “I didn’t mean for any of this to happen, Collins. I swear!”
He didn’t slow down as he rushed for the front door, tripping over the area rug behind the couch. He didn’t reply either. It was as if a switch had flipped, triggering his fight or flight response. At least he wasn’t trying to fight me. It was a small relief.
“You can’t tell anyone,” I said, reaching for his arm. He yipped and jerked away from me. His eyes were dilated, and he gasped each breath as if he thought it might be his last. “It could put you and Lazlo in danger. Please, don’t tell anyone,” I begged.
Blood and Thunder Page 11