Collins turned to leave again, squealing when the doorbell rang. I put a finger over my mouth, trying to calm his panic, and peeked through the curtains.
“Shit,” I hissed and jerked the door open. “I am so sorry I didn’t call last night.”
Vin stood under the glow of the porch light with his hands shoved down into the pockets of his khaki shorts. The pitiful look he gave me sent a stab of guilt through my chest.
“It’s okay. Laura said you barely made it in before sunrise,” he said with a half-hearted shrug that did little to disguise his disappointment. “I wanted to make sure you were okay and had plenty of blood.”
“You know, too?” Collins had found his voice again. He stepped back to peer through the doorway at Vin. “Why am I the last to hear the news?”
“Probably because we all knew you’d freak out,” Laura answered as she and Mandy joined us in the living room.
My sister was dolled up tonight. I had a sneaking suspicion that meant she was waiting on a call from Hollywood. She caught my judging scowl and lifted her nose in the air. Now was not the time to bicker over her terrible taste in men, but we really needed to have that talk before she disappeared from my life a second time.
“I’m hungry,” Mandy said, rubbing her stomach. Food was always her go-to when she wanted to excuse herself from an awkward situation. She took Duncan from Laura and headed for the kitchen. “Let’s get us a snack.”
“A small snack,” Laura called after her. “He’s gained a whole freaking pound this summer.”
Collins made a strangled noise. “She’s really a…werewolf?” he whispered, staring after Mandy.
Laura nodded. “But she sheds like a Sasquatch.”
“I heard that,” Mandy yelled from the kitchen.
Collins sputtered out a disgruntled sound. “This isn’t normal. You can’t make it all go away with some lame joke. This is not okay.”
Vin stepped inside and closed the front door behind him. This wasn’t a conversation for the neighbors to overhear, and I appreciated his attentiveness to my privacy. Collins had put the brakes on his hasty exit, but he lingered near the door as if he might change his mind at any moment and bolt.
“Aren’t you supposed to be careful about sharing your secrets with too many of us mortals?” Vin asked. His smile was tighter than usual.
“Laura’s a lousy bodyguard,” I said, earning an eye roll from my sister. She threw her hands in the air and stalked off toward her and Mandy’s shared room.
“Bodyguards actually get paid,” she grumbled before disappearing around the corner.
“I guess that explains why she was running with Laz and me in your place.” Collins’ brow crinkled. “How did this happen? When did it happen?”
I thought of Will, and my heart dropped. It wasn’t a story I wanted to tell again. Ever again. It hurt too much, like poking at a festering wound that refused to heal.
“A few months ago.” I licked my lips and tried to summon a simple answer that would pacify him, but I just kept seeing Will’s vacant eyes, and the blood pooling around his ashen face.
Vin touched my arm. “I think that’s a tale for another time,” he said to Collins. Then he nodded toward the kitchen and ushered me that direction. “You look pale. You haven’t eaten yet, have you?”
“Oh, man.” Collins waved his hands in front of his chest. “I don’t think I’m ready for all that yet. This is gonna take some getting used to.”
Vin shrugged. “It’s just bagged blood.”
Collins took several deep breaths and then reached for the door behind him. “I need some time to think this through.”
“You can’t tell anyone,” I said, panic edging into my voice again. “It’s too dangerous. There are…people who take care of humans who try to out my kind.”
“Are you threatening me?” Collins lifted his chin. The fear bleeding through his eyes gave him away, no matter how hard he tried to hide it.
“It’s not a threat.” I shook my head. “At least, not from me. It’s a warning. I don’t want anything to happen to you.”
Fear finally won out, and he dropped his courageous façade before rubbing the back of his hand under his eye to wipe away a runaway tear. “Who would believe me anyway?” He pressed his trembling lips together and gave me a short nod. Then he left without another word.
A sinking sensation gripped my insides as I wondered if I’d ever see him again. Is this how Alicia and Serena would react if they found out? Or would it be worse? Would someone like Roman be sent to take them out—before taking me out, too?
That was how it worked, to the best of my understanding. Vampires were regarded as ruthless because they had to maintain such tight control over their human harems, or else House Lilith would mark them as a threat to the community and have them put down. It was that simple and that complicated. I hated it, but what could I do? I was nobody. I didn’t even have a living sire to explain all of this nonsense to me.
I stared at the closed front door, willing Collins to come back and forgive me for things I had no control over.
“Give him time.” Vin rubbed my shoulders and steered me toward the kitchen again. “We’re overdue for a long talk anyway.”
Not exactly the comforting words I’d hoped to hear, but he was right. There was a lot we needed to discuss. None of which I was looking forward to.
Chapter Fourteen
Vin was not tickled about me working with Roman. That much was obvious. There was a jealous streak there that I was afraid to touch. I could barely admit my attraction to Roman to myself. Admitting it to Vin was not happening. Not tonight, at least.
I sat at the breakfast bar beside my brooding doctor and sucked down a third bag of blood while he scrutinized me through his spectacles. He only wore his glasses when we were at odds. They were like his armor, a shiny token that made him feel more in charge. Kind of like my Glock.
“So you can feed off some trollop in a vampire bar, but not me?” Vin cleared his throat and folded his arms over the countertop. We were almost up to date. I hadn’t mentioned the party Thursday night yet, but it could wait.
“She was a stranger.” I licked the corner of the blood bag I’d just finished and hopped up to throw it away. “If I accidentally drained her, I wouldn’t have felt half as bad as I’d feel if I did that to you.”
Vin gave me a sheepish smile that conveyed his gratitude for my affection and his doubt all at the same time. “What about Roman? Were you not as afraid you’d drain him?”
I gave Vin my back as I turned toward the refrigerator again. Thinking about the incident with Roman did something to me I wasn’t ready to share with Vin.
“Roman’s experienced at giving blood,” I said. “He does it all the time. Plus, I didn’t have a choice. I was dying.” I’d given Vin the same reasons every time he brought it up. I was beginning to feel like a suspect in interrogation, the detective just waiting for me to slip up and incriminate myself.
“You’ve had three already,” Vin said softly as I fingered the waning supply in the door of the refrigerator. I hesitated and pulled my hand back.
“Roman says I have to put together a proper blood harem if I want to join Blood Vice.” I blurted the sentence out in a single breath. It was the confession I was most dreading, but our whole conversation had been building up to it.
“Harem.” Vin made a sour face and pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose. “That’s such an offensive word.”
“Like trollop?” I lifted an eyebrow and leaned over the counter across from him, folding my arms to mirror his. “I can’t just feed on you alone. That’s not healthy or safe.”
Vin grumbled, but he reached across the counter and took my hand, rubbing his thumb in nervous circles over my knuckles. “Who else did you have in mind?” he asked in a flat, guarded voice.
I blew out a heavy breath. “No one at the moment. I’ll keep supplementing with the bagged blood until I figure that out. Baby steps.”
>
“When do we start?” he asked in a very different voice, one that sent a nervous thrill through my midsection.
I sucked in my bottom lip and considered him a moment, searching his eager eyes for some sort of reassurance. If we did this, there was a pretty good chance we would end up naked, too. I was well aware of that. In fact, it seemed only fair.
Feeding on someone’s blood was incredibly intimate, and I had a feeling Vin would want something other than the hundred bucks I’d thrown at Lydia. In retrospect, I had to wonder if I’d offended her. Roman hadn’t given me enough to go on to know what proper etiquette was, and he’d probably been too afraid to offer more direction in front of Vanessa for fear she would discover just how new I really was.
The more I thought about it, the more sense “harem” made. I wondered if all vampires were sexually intimate with their blood donors. Then I wondered if Roman was intimate with Vanessa. The thought stirred up a nasty concoction of jealousy and embarrassment deep in my gut. I had no right to care about whom Roman gave his blood or body to—and certainly not when I had a warm, willing man right in front of me.
Vin squeezed my hands over the counter and tugged me in closer so he could reach my mouth with his. The swell of his bottom lip was still raw from where I’d accidentally bitten him. I ran my tongue across the healing cut, and he made a content noise in the back of his throat.
We were like nervous teenagers, kissing and groping and grinding, never quite taking that final plunge. I was no virgin, but I wasn’t exactly experienced either. Just beneath the fear that I wouldn’t be able to control my bloodlust was the more human fear that I wouldn’t be any good in bed. I hadn’t had sex since college. Since before my mother died.
Vin took his lips off mine long enough to tug me around to his side of the counter and pulled me between his parted legs. His erection was obvious through his khaki shorts. It pressed against my stomach as he wrapped an arm around me and kissed the side of my neck. His free hand slid up the front of my shirt and cupped my breast, my nipple resting in the dip between his thumb and forefinger. He squeezed, and the gentle pinching sensation drew a sudden gasp from me.
“Let’s take this to the bedroom,” I whispered.
Vin didn’t have to be told twice. He stood, keeping his hands in place on my body, and walked backward out of the kitchen and down the hallway, kissing and touching and squeezing me the whole way. By the time we made it to our destination, I was ready to devour him.
We didn’t take time to turn on a light, but my nerves triggered the blood vision, and the room faded into focus in shades of deep red. I watched the outline of Vin’s body as he stripped out of his shorts and polo. He discarded them on the floor and felt his way through the dark and into my bed.
I followed slowly, stalking him like the predator I was. I left my tank top and shorts on. Vin had hung onto his boxer briefs. It was probably a good idea for now. If this went to hell in a hurry, we didn’t need to be naked when Laura rushed in to help.
“Where are you?” Vin whispered, sliding his hand across the bedspread, seeking me out.
I’d circled around to the side he lay on and was staring down at him, trying to decide if I was really ready to go through with this or if I was rushing things because I was desperate to be on Blood Vice.
I decided I might be overthinking things as Vin’s hand touched my leg. His fingers trailed up the inside of my thigh, and my mind was suddenly made up. I climbed onto the bed and straddled him, centering my hips on top of his. His breath hitched as I slowly leaned over, our bodies rubbing together as our lips met again.
My fangs were out, I noticed as Vin’s tongue flicked against their tips. They swelled, elongating further and forcing my mouth open even more. Vin turned his head to the side, exposing his throat to me. His pulse throbbed just above his collarbone. A thin sheen of sweat rose up on his skin, and the scent of summer rose up with it, cocoa butter and cut grass. It reminded me of Roman, and my gut tightened again.
“Jenna,” Vin whispered. His chest rose and fell eagerly. “Do it, Jenna. Do it now.”
The timing of the invitation tipped me over the edge. I closed the few inches between us and sank my teeth into the fleshy spot where Vin’s shoulder met his neck. Blood filled my mouth in a hot rush.
I tried to compare it to my time with Lydia at Bleeders, tried to draw similarities between the way their bodies writhed with arousal—but the darkness and the scent of summer kept pulling my mind back to Roman and his shockingly blue eyes, his wrist pressed against my mouth.
Vin’s body jerked beneath mine as his back bowed, thrusting me into the air, and he groaned blissfully. Dampness soaked through the front of my shorts. A pleasant warmth filled me—more from the blood than the friction between our bodies—but it was relief rather than disappointment that helped bring my feeding to a gentle close.
“Vin?” I said breathlessly. “Are you okay?”
“I’m in heaven.” He whispered out a clipped laugh. “Maybe a little embarrassed. Was it—did you—”
“I’m good,” I said quickly. “You were great.”
“But you…didn’t…” His voice trailed off, and I couldn’t tell if it was more from exhaustion or humiliation.
“I got what I needed.”
I rolled off of him and propped my head up on one hand, rubbing my other over his chest in lazy circles. With my fading blood vision, I inspected the marks I’d left on the side of his neck. They were small and neat, hardly seeping at all. I dabbed at them with my fingers, wondering if I should go find some antibiotic ointment.
A moment later, Vin’s snores sawed through the darkness. I was wide awake. It wasn’t even midnight yet. I had hours to kill, and nothing to do with the heady new blood coursing through my system. Or the guilt ruining my afterglow.
I’d bitten Vin, but Roman had been the one on my mind. I was pretty sure that made me a terrible person.
I didn’t need anyone to spell it out for me. The half-sired agent belonged to someone else, and just because he was being nicer didn’t mean he had feelings for me. He was being kind because he felt guilty.
Weren’t we all?
Chapter Fifteen
I changed my shorts before venturing into the kitchen to escape Vin’s grizzly snoring. He’d never slept over before tonight. The idea of having someone in bed with me while I was dead to the world was just too awkward, and I didn’t really feel like lying down during the few hours the sun allowed me to be up and about.
Out of habit, I opened the refrigerator, but as I stared at the row of blood bags in the door, I realized I wasn’t hungry. The epiphany made my chest swell with gratitude and fresh guilt, and I was soon reduced to a sobbing mess.
I’d spent the majority of my short life as a vampire with an aching hunger that gnawed on me at all times. The absence of that suffering made me feel almost human again. And just like with Roman and Lydia, shame and insecurity quickly flooded in to fill the void.
“Oh, it’s just you,” Laura said as she came into the kitchen. She wore a silky, pink nightgown with overflowing cleavage. When she caught sight of my tear-streaked face, she froze. “What happened? Is everything okay?”
“I bit Vin,” I said with a sniffle.
“Oh my God. Is he dead?”
“No,” I sobbed.
“Are you upset that he’s not dead?”
“No!”
“Did he leave you over it or something?” Laura cocked her head.
“He’s still in my bedroom.”
“And?”
“And I’m not hungry anymore.”
“I’ve seen how you drink,” Laura said. “Are you sure you didn’t kill him?”
“Laura!”
“Then why the hell are you crying?”
I slammed the refrigerator door and threw my hands up in the air. “I’m not hungry anymore.”
She blinked at me for a few seconds. “So…is this, like…a good cry we’re having here?”
&
nbsp; “Maybe. I don’t know.” I dragged my hands down my face. “He came when I bit him.”
“Kinky.”
I groaned. “Why is it so hard to have a serious conversation with you?”
“I am seriously confused. How’s that?” Laura stepped around me to grab a diet soda out of the refrigerator.
I took a deep breath and tried to organize my thoughts before speaking again. “This just seems like a lot more commitment than I’m ready for. But I can’t tell you how amazing it is not to feel like I’m starving to death right now.”
Laura cracked open her soda and took a small sip. “Are you afraid of losing the blood delivery service? Can’t tall, blond, and broody help you with that now that you’re working together?” The mention of Roman summoned fresh tears. Laura sighed. “Did I miss something?”
“Roman has a sire—well, a potential sire. He only gives blood to her.”
Laura’s perfect eyebrows rose, and she gave me a sympathetic frown. “Oh, honey.” She pulled out a barstool for me and took the one beside it. I plopped down with a dejected exhale and buried my face in my hands.
“What’s wrong with me?”
“I get it.” She rubbed a hand over my back. “I mean, it’s obviously not the exact same thing, but I feel like I’m starving all the time, too. Comes with being a star in the biz.” She sighed. “And I totally get wanting someone you can’t have and settling for the next best thing.”
I made a face and twisted on my barstool, pulling away from the comfort of her hand. “Vin is nothing like Hollywood. He would never cheat on me or set fire to my career. He’s a freaking angel, and I think that makes it even worse.”
Laura rolled her eyes. “David might not be a saint, but what he lacks in the angelic department, he more than makes up for with his bank account. When he screws the pooch, I get diamonds. When Vin’s in the doghouse, what does he bring you? Flowers? Blood?”
“I don’t want him to bring me anything. Well, okay, maybe the blood.” I put my face in my hands again and shook my head. “He’s the only one willing to open a vein for me, and I’m the shitty one who should be in the doghouse right now. I need him—and at least two more donors—if I want to make this work so I can get on with Blood Vice. I can’t afford to be honest with him, no matter how much he deserves it.”
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