Adrift: Book Two of The Crashing Tides Duet

by Ruby Rowe

  “Yeah. She was checking to see if I was mad at her for telling you and Sailor.”

  “What you did to Nicole was a dick move.” He glances to the kitchen and back to me. “She’s not over you, bro. Now, you’ve brought her back into your life and have her worrying about you again. I could tell it crushed her today when Sailor and I took charge of your care. She seemed lost.”

  “I thought she was over me when I went to her for help.”

  “I can’t even wrap my brain around why you went to her in the first place. You had to know it would hurt Sailor.”

  “It’s not good for the baby when she gets upset. I thought once I finally told her, she’d understand why I did it.”

  “You could’ve leaned on me.”

  “I couldn’t ask you to keep a secret like that from Sailor.”

  “What happened to your first child was rare. You two can’t worry every second that you’re going to lose this one, too.”

  “I know. I guess keeping this news from both of you made my sickness seem less real.”

  “I can see why you’d think that, but to beat this, you need a support system. Sailor and I are here for you.”

  “OK, I get it.”

  “Then what about Nicole? Are you going to see her again?”

  “It would be cruel of me to shut her out now that you and Sailor know I’m sick.”

  “Yeah, but you can’t give her the wrong impression, either.”

  “I haven’t.”

  “I don’t agree.”

  “Well, believe what you want, but I can’t be a dick and not talk to her now that I have other people to help me. She’ll think I was using her, and I wasn’t. She’s a friend I don’t want to lose.”

  He shakes his head. “I wish you could be on the outside of this looking in because from where Sailor and I are sitting, what you’ve done looks shady as shit.”

  “Are you accusing me of cheating?”

  “No, man. I don’t believe you’d do that, but I can’t help but wonder if you have some lingering feelings for Nicole, and I bet Sailor’s thinking the same thing.”

  “I don’t have feelings for her, so drop it. Tell Sailor I’ll be in my room.” I get up and start for the stairs. I’m dizzy, and it’s probably from the sedative they gave me this morning. This whole situation sucks, and I dread the thought of having major surgery or receiving chemo afterward.

  It’s going to happen, though. I was groggy when the pulmonologist spoke to me after the biopsy, but I’ll never forget the discouraged look on his face.

  Jake

  “He’s asleep,” Sailor says before she gets in bed with me. “I thought I’d cuddle with you for a few minutes before I head back upstairs.”

  “I imagine you’re going to want to sleep with Elliott every night now.”

  “I’ll still sleep with you, too, but after his procedure, I want to keep a close eye on him.”

  “It’s crazy how fast life can change, and all our lives changed today.”

  “I still don’t know what to make of this whole Nicole thing, but I’m trying not to think about it. Elliott’s health is most important right now.”

  “I agree.”

  “I need to talk to you about something.” Sailor props herself up on her side, and I notice the boy shorts hugging her appetizing body.

  More so, I can’t stop looking at her tits pushed together in a snug, low-cut t-shirt. “My eyes are up here, hon,” she says before grabbing my hand that is now massaging her boob.

  “Sorry. A distraction from the stress of today would be nice about now, and you’re a tempting distraction.” Leaning over, I skim my mouth up her neck.

  “Elliott wants to find out who the father is.”

  I exhale loudly as my dick shrinks.

  “Why?”

  “He wants to know in case he doesn’t make it, but I told him he’s going to be here when she’s born.”

  “She, huh?”

  “He wants to name the baby now, too. What do you think about Payton? We’ll use an A for a girl and an E for a boy.”

  “That’s a little Peyton Manning, don’t you think?” I grin, and she rolls her eyes.

  “I’m being serious here.”

  “I know, but the seriousness of today is eating me up inside.” Sliding my hand through my hair, I grip the back of it. “I like the name, and we can do the test. I don’t want to know if the baby’s mine or Elliott’s, but I’ll find out for him.”

  “That’s how I feel about it, too.” Sailor’s jet eyes coat with tears, appearing as shiny as glossy, wet paint. I pull her close and hug her. “He’s going to get through this, and in the fall, we’ll be fighting over who gets to hold our healthy baby first.”

  “I hope you’re right.”

  CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE

  Sailor

  The days of waiting for Elliott’s test results feel like a clogged hourglass. It’s Saturday afternoon, and the oncologist’s office called yesterday to set up an appointment for next Thursday. They believe they’ll have the results by then.

  Elliott and I have napped often and cuddled while watching movies, doing anything to pass the time, but there’s still an underlying tension between us.

  I’m having a hard time hiding my hurt over Nicole. I keep telling myself that Elliott would be hurt, too, if he knew the thoughts I’d been having about Jake. That’s helped, but I still find myself disappointed and jealous.

  The doorbell rings, so I get up from the couch to answer it. Elliott pauses the movie we’re watching. Well, the movie we’ve been attempting to watch. My mind has sure been elsewhere.

  I open the door, and speak of the devil.

  “Hi,” Nicole says as she shoves a glass casserole toward me. “I wanted to drop off this lasagna. It’s about the only dish I’ve mastered.” She smiles faintly.

  “Thank you.”

  “I hope I’m not intruding. How’s Elliott?”

  I stare at her as I debate whether to let her in.

  “Come inside. You can visit with him while I do a few things in the kitchen.”

  “Are you sure?”

  “Yep.”

  No, I’m not sure, lady who used to let my man in her back door. Taking the lasagna, I wait for her to pass by me. Elliott’s eyes widen as they flit between us.

  “Nicole made us dinner. I’m going to put it in the fridge, and clean up the kitchen, while you two chat.”

  I try to smile. I really do, but it’s tight-lipped as I leave them alone. Jake better get home soon from visiting his parents. I need a distraction before I change my mind and get hold of the kitchen knives.

  I do my best to ignore Nicole’s voice. I rearrange the refrigerator and clean some of the shelves inside. The stovetop is next, along with the counters and sink. I’m sweating by the time Jake strolls in with the same surprised expression Elliott was wearing.

  “Why is she here?”

  “She dropped off a casserole.” I roll my eyes. “I decided to play nice and let her visit.”

  “Elliott’s probably about to piss himself, wondering what you’ll have to say about this.”

  “It’s OK. She’s a friend, right? He lets few people into his circle, so I don’t feel right kicking her out of it.”

  Jake takes the washcloth I’m holding and drops it in the sink.

  “The condo was cleaned yesterday. You’re beet red and sweating, so why don’t you take a break?”

  “I don’t need one. How are your parents?”

  “Good today. They softened up once I told them about Elliott.”

  “We have to tell them about the baby, too.”

  “I know, but since we’re finding out who the father is, we might as well give them all the news at once.”

  “I guess you’re right.” Hearing the front door shut, we look at each other. “This is awkward. You go talk to him while I finish up in here,” I say.

  “He’s going to ask me if you’re mad.”

  “How can I be mad a
fter the feelings I was having about you less than a week ago?”

  “You’re not feeling that way now, though, right?”

  “I don’t know up from down these days, but Elliott’s sick. Even if I were feeling that way, it wouldn’t matter now.”

  Nodding as if he gets what I’m saying, he leaves the room.

  Jake

  “How are you feeling?”

  “Is she mad?”

  I laugh. “I told her you’d ask me that.”

  “Is she?”

  “No. She doesn’t love Nicole being around, but she’s not mad.”

  “I told her not to come back.”

  I sit in the chair. “Why did you do that?”

  “It’s not fair to Sailor. It’s only been like five months since Nicole and I stopped seeing each other. It would be different if we were exes who’d been friends for years.”

  “I agree, but you look upset about it.”

  “I feel bad. She looked hurt. I did tell her I’d keep her updated on my health. She’s sweet, you know? I should’ve realized how great she was a long time ago.”

  “Yeah, but then you wouldn’t be with Sailor.” If he could only hear the words that keep coming out of his damn mouth. Thank fuck Sailor hasn’t heard them.

  “True.”

  “I heard we’re naming our girl Payton with an A. I’m really hoping it turns out to be Peyton with an E. I’ll already have to witness Maddie dating one day. I sure as hell don’t want a daughter getting poked by a know-it-all, punk ass, shit stain, douchebag with a rock god name like Atticus. Or worse yet–what if he’s an older, pretentious fuck named Miles who wants to jet her off to Europe when she’s eighteen, and we find out after they’ve eloped that he’s a Patriots fan?”

  Busting out laughing, Elliott slings his head back and cackles until he has a coughing fit. I’d feel bad if it wasn’t for the fact that he thinks I’m joking.

  “This isn’t funny. Having a daughter will wreck me.”

  “What did you say to get him laughing like that?” Sailor asks with a smile as she strolls up to the couch.

  Elliott clears his throat. “Jake said he hopes he has four daughters, each two years apart, and he wants to give them stripper names.”

  “What?” Sailor asks, displaying a bewildered expression.

  “He’s full of shit. I’m terrified to have a daughter, so I told him Peyton better be spelled with an E.”

  “You two are so bad, but I’m glad to see you smiling about our baby rather than being angry.”

  “Doll, we shouldn’t have to keep telling you we’re happy. No matter who the biological father is, this kid will have two dads who will kick Atticus’ ass when he shows up on our doorstep.”

  “Huh?”

  “Baby, don’t listen to him. Come here.” Elliott pats the spot next to him on the couch. “You’ll be relieved to hear I told Nicole not to come back.”

  Sailor grips her hips as she stands in front of him.

  “Why would you do something so cruel?”

  His eyes dart to mine, and I snicker.

  “I thought you’d be happy.”

  “After everything she’s done, you can’t box her out now. Yeah, I don’t want to host a sleepover for her, but she’s nice and only concerned about you. Besides, you could afford to have some more friends.”

  “You’re one to talk.”

  “Hey, I’m hanging out with Naomi.”

  “Now, that’s the kind of daughter we don’t want,” I interject.

  Sailor shakes her head. “Men... Elliott, tell Nicole you’re sorry and that I said it’s fine if she wants to drop by sometimes. Maybe we should even have her over one night to play cards.”

  “And women wonder why we don’t understand them,” Elliott replies, looking at me. Climbing into his lap, Sailor kisses his cheek.

  “I’m not going to be the jealous girlfriend, especially when I have two boyfriends.”

  “Truth,” I say through a cough. I grin at Sailor, and she rolls her pretty eyes. At least we’re having some fun amidst all our troubles.

  Elliott

  “Can you stop tapping your foot?” I ask Jake. “And can you stop chewing on your lip?” I give Sailor a look of warning, and she lowers her head.

  “I’m scared,” she murmurs. Putting my arm around her in the oncologist’s waiting room, I pull her against me.

  “This is why I wanted you and Jake to stay home.”

  “I’m sorry. I’ll be strong for you.” She sits up straight with her chin tilted, but she can’t fool me, and neither can Jake, who hasn’t spoken since we got here twenty minutes ago.

  “Elliott Roberts,” a nurse says from the door leading back to the exam rooms. I never thought I’d be in an oncologist’s office, waiting to hear the fate of my existence.

  Reaching the door, I glance over my shoulder at Jake and Sailor. Their eyes are glued to mine, and they look like scared, little kittens.

  “Come on,” I say with a sigh as I nod for them. They’re both on their feet in a flash and follow me down the hallway, but instead of seating us in an exam room, the older female nurse takes us into Dr. Miller’s office.

  “Let me grab another chair,” she says before she leaves us alone in the room. Sailor and I sit, and once the nurse returns, Jake takes the chair from her and places it in the corner, somewhat behind us.

  It’s silent, and shit just got a whole lot of real.

  I stare at the clock above Dr. Miller’s desk. From hearing the ticking sounds, I imagine a bomb with red numbers counting down. The seconds are getting closer and closer to zero, and the doc needs to come in this damn room before my heart explodes. My ears are ringing–chest tightening…

  The door opens, and Dr. Miller walks in. He looks at each of us, so I block out my panic to do the introductions.

  “Good morning,” he says.

  “Hi, Dr Miller. This is my girlfriend, Sailor, and this is my good friend Jake.”

  “It’s nice to meet you both,” he replies after shaking Sailor’s and Jake’s hands. As he sits behind his desk, I notice Jake huddling back in his corner. Dr. Miller opens a file and turns to the computer on his right where he begins pecking the keyboard.

  “Let’s go over your test results. Shall we?” He glances over and smiles. “Your sodium and potassium levels were slightly below normal, but overall, your blood work looks good.

  “Now, your PET scan and biopsy...” Swiveling to face us, he removes his glasses and clasps his hands on his desk. I know that look, his posture, and the preparedness to deliver bad news.

  “Unfortunately, the tumor in the upper lobe of your right lung is malignant. It’s non-small cell … adenocarcinoma. The good news is that the PET scan did not show the cancer metastasizing to other major organs in the body.”

  Sailor laces our hands together, but I don’t want to feel anything.

  “What stage?” I ask.

  “From the PET scan and bronchoscopy, Dr. Hernandez and I agree that some of the lymph nodes in your lungs may be malignant, as well, especially since you’re experiencing symptoms, which is unusual in early stages. If the cancer has spread to the lymph nodes, then I would say at least stage two.”

  “Stage two is better than a higher number, though, right?” Sailor asks with a positive tone.

  “Yes, it is, but Elliott, you’ll need surgery immediately. I’ve consulted with a thoracic surgeon, and he recommends an open lobectomy, which would consist of removing the entire right upper lobe.

  “One positive is the cancer was caught before surgery wasn’t an option. The benefits of a lobectomy greatly offset the immediate risk from the surgery, especially since you’re still young and overall healthy.”

  “Does this mean you can remove all the cancer with that one surgery?” Sailor asks.

  “We can’t say for certain until the procedure. If the cancer has spread to the lymph nodes, I recommend chemotherapy in addition to the surgery. It will depend on the results of the marg
ins, as well.”

  “Margins, what are those?”

  “I’ll explain it to you later,” I say harshly.

  “I’m sorry. I’m only trying to understand. I need to know you’re going to be OK.”

  “There’s no way to know that right now, so there’s no need to keep talking about it.”

  “Elliott, it’s one question,” Jake says.

  Sailor releases my hand, and I feel that familiar need to punch a wall. I’m not angry at her, but I am angry, and that means it’s best I deal with this alone.

  “The margin is the border, the edge of the tissue, excised during surgery,” Dr. Miller says. “If the margin is negative, that means no malignancy was detected, so it’s likely all the cancer was removed. A positive margin means there are cancer cells on the edge of the tissue, suggesting that there is still cancer in the body.”

  “OK, thank you.”

  “Elliott, although this is not the diagnosis we had hoped for, your recovery looks promising, and it appears you have people who love and support you. Please, let them. It takes a village to fight cancer, and not all tribe members should be medical professionals. Now, we’ll need to get you in right away for a consult with the surgeon. Do you have any other questions?”

  Sailor shakes her head no, but she’s lying. I’ve made her afraid to ask them, and it’s the reason why handling problems on my own is the better route. No one else gets hurt in the process.

  “How long will I be in the hospital after surgery?”

  “I estimate five to seven days.”

  “That’s a lot,” I mumble.

  “You’ll be on a ventilator at first and have a chest tube for a few days.”

  “Those ventilators help breathe for you, right?” Jake asks.

  “Yes.”

  “That sounds serious.”

  “It is an invasive surgery, but I feel confident Elliott is healthy enough to handle it. Dr. Carr is a highly respected thoracic surgeon.”

  “OK, I think that covers everything since I can read my own test results,” I say. “Thank you, Dr. Miller.” I stand, and Jake and Sailor follow suit. I want the hell out of here.